Journals
1,285 topics in this forum
-
- 5 followers
- 881 replies
- 36.5k views
I have dealt with anxiety off and on for about 30 years (probably more, except I used to call it "stressing out"). Do those of you who experience anxiety find that it increases and decreases sometimes multiple times per day, even sometimes minute to minute? I am sitting in front of my computer attending a virtual training class, I felt OK, then out of nowhere I started feeling that familiar feeling where I can sense the anxiety creeping up. And sometimes it just slams me unexpectedly. Is this "normal" for anxiety sufferers?
Last reply by boltnrun, -
- 1 follower
- 61 replies
- 3.4k views
I’ve not been very good at journaling this year! I’ve been dating someone for almost a year - we met last December. I do wonder if we’ll make it into the new year due to a few issues. He’s a single dad, first one I’ve ever dated, and I’ve spent a bit of time with his son but he has behavioural issues at home so not sure how I would handle this if I become step-mum. There’s also the topic of if I want my own child - I’m still not made up and honestly I don’t think he wants another one. He (my boyfriend) is currently living with his dad saving money and helping out (dad is registered disabled but mobile for short periods). The dad is also going deaf and I don’t click …
Last reply by hidden_kitten, -
- 4 followers
- 2.1k replies
- 86.2k views
And what really makes me angry is that she knew my dad was in the hospital five days ago and she couldn’t friggin call me ??????? Five friggin days ago you knew this Marilyn and you thought you would tell me Friday right before my holiday . You’re a . Feel like calling her right now because she’s going on holidays today and telling her what her nice fabulous brother did. Do you want to know that your other brother is a rapist and a child molester I hope you have a good holiday .
Last reply by Seraphim , -
- 1 follower
- 70 replies
- 1.5k views
I've been thinking about starting a new journal looking forward to new things . There's so much that will be happening next year for our family, so I want to end that other journal where I was questioning and ruminating too much. I think I've got it now. ❤️
Last reply by maritalbliss86, -
- 2 followers
- 251 replies
- 15.5k views
Dear Grandpa, I am on the train to Norwich as I am writing this. I made the mistake to cram all my stuff into two big suitcases and not hire a company to move them to my new place. My back is paying the price now. I have a propensity to do everything alone but again I was never famous for my wisdom. Yes I know you know that already 🙂 It is a long journey. I am watching the English countryside go by from the train. I’ve done many cross-country trips in England, from South to North, from North to South, it’s funny, I know England better than Greece and I have only been here a few years. From the people I asked, I gathered Norwich is half the size of Liverpool and …
Last reply by dias, -
- 1 follower
- 31 replies
- 4.2k views
My husband was supposed to fly out today. They had to fly back here because the hydraulic line on the landing gear ruptured. Came back here for repair. Tried to take off again and had another snag . I hadn’t heard from him in hours so I just aimlessly drove around upset. Came home sat at the black TV screen not seeing anything. Then got word from him that their third attempt to take off is happening . Just sat here crying into my nachos .
Last reply by Seraphim , -
I guess the premis is to track the number of days that I do have migraines, symptoms and severity and a search to find things that bring relief. Day one. I woke this morning with one. Once again always left sided. The left side of my head and face are numb. The sinus on my left side is in agony as well as my jaw and nose and under my eye. I am pretty unmotivated as a result even when I have a ton of stuff to do. I guess on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, the pain is about 7 so I can still deal with it. My neck and back muscles are also killing me. Only on my left side mind you.
Last reply by Seraphim , -
- 18 replies
- 235 views
Hey, ENA. I am going to be starting a journal. I am hoping to find a place to enter my thoughts. I have nearly always found that when I have an outlet onto which I can give my thoughts, I actively seem to organize the issues in my life. As a result, it helps me to do and feel better. I will list out categorical areas in which I feel I am experiencing stress, worries, or anxieties. Then, my subsequent entries will try to solve them. However, I anticipate that several entries will involve impertinent venting. If you choose to reply, keep it constructive. Do not debate me here. PROBLEMS Anxiety, Brain Fog This summer, my anxiety has heightene…
Last reply by maritalbliss86, -
- 7 followers
- 2.4k replies
- 153.5k views
I thought I would give a go at this journaling thing. My friends do not partake in online dating and I don't really get feedback from anyone that does. Mostly my friends shake their heads and ask `why?' I've been out of a relationship since May '14 and without rehashing all that has transpired I will say that online dating has changed considerably in the past 3 years. I've taken several breaks, mostly after meeting men looking for casual sex and men who are too afraid to put themselves out there and seem to put me in the drivers seat to pursue them and breath life into the situation. Neither of which I am comfortable with. I am a young (as so I am told) 50 so…
Last reply by Jibralta, -
- 4 followers
- 1.4k replies
- 84.7k views
I like reading through forums like this because I think about relationships a lot. Sometimes other people's posts make me think about and understand my own experiences. I am constantly examining and re-examining myself. Writing helps me to do this. But I don't want to write my own thoughts all over someone else's thread. So, I am creating this thread for my internal dialog. Please feel free to contribute to the conversation if you are inclined! The interaction is helpful. And I like it.
Last reply by Jibralta, -
- 1 follower
- 3.2k replies
- 154.3k views
I decided to start this as a place to park my hodgepodge of thoughts and what's going on in my life. Had a great Easter yesterday- I had to drive a few hours to the airport to pick my son up from his trip to France and Spain. He had a great time and it seems like he grew up over night! It was so great to have both boys home and with me. Since I had them for Easter, I asked them what kind of meal they wanted and I went and bought the groceries for a nice Easter dinner. Then I get a text from my ex, saying his mom and dad are inviting me and the boys to Easter brunch at their house. Well I didn't really want to go because my ex and his gf would be there. But the…
Last reply by luminousone, -
- 2 followers
- 441 replies
- 37.4k views
If you could have any one super power, what would it be? Mine would be the ability to stop time. Isn't that the one thing I always hear myself saying, thinking, feeling? If only I had more time. Isn't that the wish on everyone's tongue tip? So okay, new found power, say you happen, I know the moral of the day is that I'll end up wasting you on trivial s**t, but sometimes I just need to gather my thoughts and collect myself. Life is fast and it only seems to be getting faster. One day I was 16 and all I could think about was the endless currency of precious time I had to spend. It was so undervalued. I'd do nothing with it. Spend it in bed, spend it online, sp…
Last reply by Jibralta, -
- 3 followers
- 77 replies
- 1.9k views
This is a place for me to write my thoughts and feelings about my new job.
Last reply by Jibralta, -
New Journal 1 2 3 4 51
by itsallgrand- 3 followers
- 1.3k replies
- 135.9k views
*I remember why I love(d) you. *I'm working too much. AGAIN. *I'm sick of looking over my shoulder and trudging amongst the squashed masses. Too many problems for this soul to handle. *Oh! So that is why. How much bloody pain on simple lack of understanding can cause! The difference between closeness and distancing. Will I ever change? Or is it enough to be known? *I hate bannock. Shut up about the god damn bannock already people. *I've never felt this way before. Ever. Don't know what it is. Except it is new. [video=youtube;xkte4TY12Zk] ] *Tonight is for looseness and floating. Tomorrow, activity and comprehending what it means.
Last reply by Jibralta, -
- 5 followers
- 837 replies
- 52.6k views
Well ,it looks like my hand may be pushed faster then I think . I heard a rumour ,yes ,you have to love the rumour mill that our new building is going to be condemned . I had to talk to my boss today and yesterday she told me we plan to re-start in 2 weeks and today she tells me we don’t know what we’re doing yet . So obviously the rumour mill is true . Thank Jesus I applied for unemployment ! A friend added me to all the Facebook child care sites and buy and sells. Unfortunately, my boss is on all the childcare sites . She’s going to know my plan eventually .
Last reply by Seraphim , -
L&P
by Mikess1978- 1 follower
- 1 reply
- 124 views
Here I am again, after over three years. time flies. So, we are working on No Contact but there is still contact. Whenever I call her, she responds and we meet. I can tell from her face that she loves me but then why she is doing all this? I think, we both are selfish, we have the answers in front of us but we do not want to see. To me it looks like, that it seems like see is buying time to abandon me. I am hoping that things between us will get better. Lets see what happens. As agreed upon, I went to the Café and waited there from 8 to 9 but she did not come. Maybe, because we just agreed upon it yesterday only. I am fine with it but every time …
Last reply by Mikess1978, -
Dear Catherine 1 2
by Seraphim- 1 follower
- 46 replies
- 7.8k views
Dear Catherine Angelina Marie, You were a miracle to have been conceived at all and I am so blessed to have been your mother. I know it maybe be silly to some that you have been named and that I would make a journal for you. I may have only known about your existence for about a week but you were still every bit my child and I love you. I have no idea if you were a son or a daughter but I have named you a girl. I am happy you have the company of your other siblings in heaven. You can be sure mommy thinks of you and loves you.
Last reply by Seraphim , -
- 3 followers
- 901 replies
- 30.6k views
So my husband I have been married for over 13 yrs, and we just finally finished growing our family (had the amount of kids we wanted), and now I think (?) it's finally time for me to think about the future, not that I haven't been, it's just that I've been so incredibly sleep deprived or wrapped up in parenting that it's kind of been on the back burner... literally the last thing on my mind. I just had our 4th baby almost 8 months ago, and with all the COVID stuff, it's been hard, but not undoable. I don't have any help with the baby or managing my kids, outside of my husband (and he does help!), but he also works and sometimes is required to work overtime... so th…
Last reply by Jibralta, -
- 2 followers
- 743 replies
- 66.4k views
i find it difficult to believe that those that have never walked in these shoes could ever fully understand what this is like. but really...i think it would be impossible for you to not understand certain aspects. it's still strange for me to talk about this. there are very few people that seem to get it. a choice in itself. to get it...is to open one's being to that same vulnerability. perhaps i've been conditioned by the general reaction. there are ALWAYS undertones that this whole process was a choice. alas, to choose misery would be a madness. in some respects...it was a choice. the initial choice. the first time. but at that point...it would've been difficult to …
Last reply by 90_hour_sleep, -
- 13 followers
- 7.2k replies
- 637.8k views
A few years back, I posted a journal of my online dating experiences: A couple of relationships later, I was finally dumped in November and tried to get her back in March: That didn't work, so I went through some self-examination: Now I'm back in the singles game... so here's Round 2 of an online dating journal from a 42-yo guy in a big American city. I have accounts on POF & Match.com, but the former seems a bit sketchy and the latter has never yielded any results for me. So for now I'll be focusing on OKCupid, which has been pretty effective for me in the past and is how I met my last two girlfriends. Back in December 2012, I sent out abou…
Last reply by Realitynut, -
Wow, I can not believe you have been gone for almost 3 years now. That seems an impossible amount of time. I come to think of you because I know we will be leaving you behind when we move. That does not grieve me like it once did. I know you are not really in your burial place but in my heart and in heaven. I have let go of a lot of grief, but there will always be some while I can not see or hold you. I will have to wait for my life to be over to do that. Your big brother still talks about you and asks what you would be doing in life now had you been with us. I think his heart is better off knowing you did exist, even if you are not with us. He is not angry anymore an…
Last reply by Seraphim , -
Dear EX, I have been thinking since the last time we ended things a few things… I’m okay with what’s what here is why I left you… The Kids: The first thing I noticed with you red flag was how you treated our kids. Especially, lily, your oldest. When she had a problem and you couldn’t deal with it, you totally went over the top. To the point where I saw you as a parent abuse her verbally, and/or physically. I watch you force her mouth close; I was there at the times you told her to “shut the *** up!!!” I know you don’t recall that, but you totally did it on the way to target one time. When it came to watching your kids, my best efforts were not…
Last reply by maritalbliss86, -
-
- 10 replies
- 2.5k views
In the early 1990’s I became a 5th generation soldier and joined my younger brother and my fiancé ( now husband) in the military. It was a bad time to join the military it was really reviled in the popular cultural of that decade . Slurs would be shouted against you ,you could be spit on ....it was .... but I was determined to follow a family tradition . And I would be the first female family member in the military and still to this day the only female member of my family to have been in the military. While I was at home yesterday to visit my mom I had time to reminisce briefly with my brother . He mentioned, those were “ hard times, not easy for sure “. It is som…
Last reply by Seraphim , -
- 2 followers
- 801 replies
- 134k views
I want to chronicle my journey, post-breakup so that hopefully ENAers current and in the future can use my story as a point of reference. I'll do my best to post here each day with how I'm feeling, doing, interactions, etc. My story? Senior in college. Mutually broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years six weeks ago. Neither of us were happy in the relationship anymore. We basically spent most of our free time together and over-time, that led to a toxic dynamic. We neglected our friends to be together. We just agreed that we loved and cared about each other and didn't want to totally ruin our dynamic by continuing at our current pace. We wanted time to work on oursel…
Last reply by thekid55, -
- 5 followers
- 987 replies
- 52.5k views
I hope in this journal people learn to understand people with autism. " In a box, not a bottle" is a private joke between me and my son. It is how we describe his experience with Asperger's . link removed
Last reply by Seraphim ,
