Family and Life Updates

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I did enjoy it.

I have never worried about catching something like a cold from food someone cooked. I figure, someone cooks my food in a restaurant or a takeout place and I can't see if they're sick or if they washed their hands or whatever. It's funny that it's not something that has ever worried me even with my anxiety. I even ate at buffets fairly regularly (pre-pandemic) and it never bothered me. 

I got a gift from the white elephant gift game we played and it's actually something nice. I'm going to regift it to my cousins who are hosting our family gathering. 

I think it's great that you went.  And I love regifting - good plan.

Yes I'm the same way -maybe I believe they have a reputation/standards etc?? Except.  In early March 2020 I went to the Subway I've been going to for 10 years -the owner knows my order for my family lol.  So nice. News of covid was starting and it was pre-lockdown.  The lady who made my sandwich - likely owner's family member -he was busy -was -coughing.  A lot. 

And you know there the food is out in the open and you see them making your sandwich (which I like although obviously you don't know what goes on when they slice the tomatoes lol).  I was SPOOKED.  I finally asked if she was sick -she said no - but kept coughing - and I ended up asking the owner to remake my sandwiches.  He said no -he wasn't mad -I realized since she coughed all over the open trays he might have wanted to just switch it all out, etc.  I went back there regularly after and all was good.  But yes - that was not ok.

[boltnrun]

Restaurants have regulations but they don't follow them regularly. Mainly when it's inspection time lol. I see plenty of bare hands preparing food. But what can you do, never enjoy a restaurant or takeout meal? Respiratory illnesses are passed along primarily by breathing in the germs anyway.  But other things CAN be passed along. My former coworker's daughter caught "fecal/oral" hepatitis at Benihana. The cook had pooped and hadn't washed their hands afterward 🤢 But again, what are you gonna do?

One of my friends refuses to have food delivered. She insists every single delivery driver sticks their hands into the food. She is absolutely positive this happens every single time. She also avoids buffets because she says kids drool and sneeze on the food and stick their hands into it. And I thought I had hangups lol. 

I'm only working three hours this morning. Taking the rest of the day off to run family holiday party prep errands. 

[boltnrun]

I think I'll take myself out to a late lunch/very early dinner today. Hm, what kind of food sounds good? 🤔

I also have 749 gifts to wrap. I dislike wrapping gifts. I'm bad at it, plus it makes my back hurt. Wah. 

[boltnrun]

Family holiday gathering is tonight.  And I feel like crap.  100% my fault.  I drank a beer last night and for the past few years, every time I drink I feel lousy afterward.  I should have known better.  I don't want to drink ever again.  Just not worth it even though I really enjoy the taste of beer.

I am proud that I got all the gifts wrapped last night.  I also wanted to go watch the carolers last night but I wasn't sure if walking home alone at night was the best idea so I skipped it.

Funny story...there's a stop sign embedded in concrete at the intersection of my street and the closest cross street, placed where my street crosses (not right in the middle of the intersection).  And in the past month it's been crashed into and knocked down three times.  People just can't seem to resist hitting it.  It's easy to spot and the street is super wide, but it keeps happening.

[boltnrun]

NGL, I almost broke down at the store yesterday.  I was buying a gift card for my cousin's widower and it really hit me that I should be buying the both of them a gift but it's just him now.  I can't even process that she's not here anymore and she won't be there tonight.  She and I always sat together and talked for HOURS.  She was the one I confided in when something was bothering me.  And she confided in me too.  We were super close.  I don't even want to think about a world without her in it.

[Seraphim]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

NGL, I almost broke down at the store yesterday.  I was buying a gift card for my cousin's widower and it really hit me that I should be buying the both of them a gift but it's just him now.  I can't even process that she's not here anymore and she won't be there tonight.  She and I always sat together and talked for HOURS.  She was the one I confided in when something was bothering me.  And she confided in me too.  We were super close.  I don't even want to think about a world without her in it.

I am so sorry . Big hug. 

[boltnrun]

14 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I am so sorry . Big hug. 

Thank you.

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

NGL, I almost broke down at the store yesterday.  I was buying a gift card for my cousin's widower and it really hit me that I should be buying the both of them a gift but it's just him now.  I can't even process that she's not here anymore and she won't be there tonight.  She and I always sat together and talked for HOURS.  She was the one I confided in when something was bothering me.  And she confided in me too.  We were super close.  I don't even want to think about a world without her in it.

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard when you had that relationship. I hope tonight is ok. 

[boltnrun]

1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

I am so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard when you had that relationship. I hope tonight is ok. 

Thank you.

Everyone who will be present has lost her, so I expect it's difficult for all of them. But we're pretty good at being supportive of one another. 

[boltnrun]

Family party was very nice. It wasn't melancholy at all, probably mostly due to the kids who kept it lively.

Every one of my cousins who gave me a gift gave me candy 😄 They didn't know about my health issues. Of course I politely thanked them. I'll just take the candy to work for my coworkers.

Everyone played a game thaylt involved handling cash money. I am not at all comfortable handling cash (Google how dirty money is and you'll 🤢). I said I would just watch. My one cousin kept insisting over and over and OVER that I play. I finally took her aside and explained I am under a doctor's care for severe anxiety and one of the things I have an issue with is handling money. She finally backed down and even apologized. She's not a mean person at all. But I wish when I say no to something people would just accept it. My mother used to do that, push me to do things I really didn't want to do. It must run in the family 😄

Tired, winding down after a really nice evening. 

[boltnrun]

Side note, the sugar free blueberry pie slice I bought for myself was absolutely delicious.  Too bad the store is so far away or I'd buy another one 😉

[boltnrun]

Some odd things.

Twice in the past few days I have had really bad leg muscle cramps during the night. Once in my calf muscles and once in my ankle muscles. The ankle ones rendered me unable to walk. That was scary. I know these.can result from dehydration. I haven't had as much water as I normally do so that's an easy fix. However they can also be caused by low potassium which doesn't make sense as my blood work came back with HIGH potassium and I was told to reduce my intake. 

I also had a long, extended dream about my father which is the second one in about a month. My father is a deadbeat who I have not had any form of communication with since 1989. I do not regret cutting off communication with him as he is directly responsible for my mother not being alive. No, he didn't do anything to her physically but she was forced to work to support us when she was critically and chronically ill because he couldn't be bothered to pay child support. And no, I do not wish to restart communication and no, I will not regret not reconciling after he croaks. He did this, not me. If he couldn't give a crap if his kids ate or had adequate clothing then I don't care about him. I do wonder if he's about to buy the farm or something, hence the dreams. Oh well, not my problem. But I would like him to stay out of my dreams, TYVM.

[boltnrun]

I don't understand how I can be so efficient, effective, reliable and precise at work but in my personal life I klutzily fumble along, tripping over things and knocking things over and FORGETTING so many things. Why doesn't my work brain transfer over to my personal brain?

Although if I had to make a choice I'd rather perform well at work than at home 🤷‍♀️

[Batya33]

36 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I don't understand how I can be so efficient, effective, reliable and precise at work but in my personal life I klutzily fumble along, tripping over things and knocking things over and FORGETTING so many things. Why doesn't my work brain transfer over to my personal brain?

Although if I had to make a choice I'd rather perform well at work than at home 🤷‍♀️

Maybe it’s like a quota of alertness you use up like my son who would hold it all together at school then be a river of tears and cranky when he got home 

[boltnrun]

32 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Maybe it’s like a quota of alertness you use up like my son who would hold it all together at school then be a river of tears and cranky when he got home 

LOL this reminds me of a scene in Married With Children. Bud Bundy is explaining to Al why Kelly is forgetting things like his name and who her family is after she studied for a test. I'm paraphrasing, but he said something like "When you pour a gallon of knowledge into a shot glass sized brain...some of it is going to spill."

So I must have shot glass sized brain capacity for efficiency and since it's full from work, everything else spills. 

Doesn't explain the physical clumsiness, but that's just how I've been for years. Never should have quit ballet at age 10. 

[boltnrun]

And for a perfect illustration of this concept, I dropped my phone on the floor immediately after posting that response 😆