Family and Life Updates

[boltnrun]

Another urgh.  My team lost again today.  They're just not good this year despite having a roster full of talent.  Something just isn't clicking.  I expect the coach to be fired.  When they have this many great talents and can't get wins, it's the leadership that's responsible.  It's like the CEO of a company that has the best products, engineers and sales personnel but the company still doesn't turn a profit.  They need someone who knows how to draw out and get the talent to perform at the highest level.

[boltnrun]

Last week I asked my manager if I should do something. He said no, just do this. So I followed his instructions. This morning the sales engineer asked my manager why I hadn't done what I originally asked him if I should do! I'm waiting for my manager to respond, but ugh! 

[boltnrun]

The high winds have resulted in my sinuses really hurting. Bad headache. Slept well though.

Thanksgiving dinner will be interesting as far as the actual meal. I can eat turkey of course but I will severely limit mashed potatoes and gravy. My brother adds about two entire sticks of butter to his mashed potatoes 🤢 and a lot of whole milk 🤢, so I don't feel like I'll miss out. He used to add walnuts to his stuffing until he accidentally almost sent me to the hospital years ago, but I won't eat much anyway as he uses stuffing mix made with flour rather than cornbread. Maybe one biscuit. And of course dessert is out. But I am baking some plain yams and making a vegan squash casserole for my niece so I'll eat some of that. I also ordered a loaf of hatch chili cornbread. There's no need to overeat anyway, it's not healthy.

It'll be nice to have a four day weekend. I will avoid any shopping areas like the plague. I despise hordes of shoppers. I'll be meeting the kids for brunch on Friday and we already said we will go somewhere far, far away from any retail shopping. 

[boltnrun]

Yesterday I saw something that came very close to having an horrific outcome. I was waiting for the walk signal to cross a major street and a man with his leashed dog was waiting on the other side. We got the signal. I started across and the man did as well, with the dog a foot or so ahead of him. Some douchebag ran the red light at probably 60 mph and missed hitting the dog and the man by literally inches. The man of course stopped and luckily the dog did too. It was someone in a red jeep. I was horrified and reacted by instinct, shouting "You as*hole! F*CK you!!" at the car. Then I asked the visibly shaken man if he was OK and he said yes. I asked if his dog was OK and he hesitated, checked the dog, then said yes. It was one of the most frightening things I've ever seen. I wanted to chase the jeep and try to take a pic but there was no way I could have caught up, especially since the driver was speeding so fast. The speed limit on that street is 30 mph but so many people ignore the signs and just blast through. Which would have been bad enough if that driver didn't also run the red light. I have no idea what they were thinking.

Just wanted to add if that car had hit the dog and/or the man they would be dead. No question.

I'm still angry. 

[Seraphim]

Holy smokes !! I hate it when people speed. A friend of mine was almost hit on base recently on her bike. They put in speed bumps recently because people exceed the 40KM speed limit of the residential area. So this guy went around the speed bump and into the bike lane and almost clocked her. She kicked his car so hard it left a dent . People just don’t even think that their actions can kill people. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Yesterday I saw something that came very close to having an horrific outcome. I was waiting for the walk signal to cross a major street and a man with his leashed dog was waiting on the other side. We got the signal. I started across and the man did as well, with the dog a foot or so ahead of him. Some douchebag ran the red light at probably 60 mph and missed hitting the dog and the man by literally inches. The man of course stopped and luckily the dog did too. It was someone in a red jeep. I was horrified and reacted by instinct, shouting "You as*hole! F*CK you!!" at the car. Then I asked the visibly shaken man if he was OK and he said yes. I asked if his dog was OK and he hesitated, checked the dog, then said yes. It was one of the most frightening things I've ever seen. I wanted to chase the jeep and try to take a pic but there was no way I could have caught up, especially since the driver was speeding so fast. The speed limit on that street is 30 mph but so many people ignore the signs and just blast through. Which would have been bad enough if that driver didn't also run the red light. I have no idea what they were thinking.

Just wanted to add if that car had hit the dog and/or the man they would be dead. No question.

I'm still angry. 

This happened to me a bit over a year ago. I was pushing a stroller full of gorceries. No kid. I absolutely had the light . She ran the red light at 60 in a 30 you know. City street.  I only am alive because I watch. And I saw she wasn’t slowing down so it was inches. So much so the couple walking behind me gasped just like you - like an impulsive reaction. I tell you it was inches. Since I saw the color of the car and what she looked like I called the cops. Honestly because she could kill the next person. 

[boltnrun]

This man luckily reacted quickly. But his dog doesn't have the same awareness so it was pure luck he wasn't killed. And it's not like the light had just changed. I had made it almost halfway across so it was at least six or seven seconds (which is a long time when you count it out). Everyone else had stopped. This person was either not paying attention or didn't feel like stopping for the light. I've seen a lot of absolute idiots staring at their phones instead of paying attention to their driving. 

It frightened and infuriated me. And if I had managed to catch up to that driver I would have used the exact same language. And gotten photos of their license plate. 

[boltnrun]

I slept all the way through to my alarm! That happens maybe once or twice a year. I woke up once in the very early morning with heartburn but I fell back asleep quickly. I'm still fatigued and lightheaded but at least it's not from lack of sleep.

[boltnrun]

I cut the #%©* out of my thumb cooking this morning. It will not stop bleeding. Nope, not going to urgent care or the ER. It sure is inconvenient especially since I wash my hands 952 times a day. And I only have six bandaids left. 

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I cut the #%©* out of my thumb cooking this morning. It will not stop bleeding. Nope, not going to urgent care or the ER. It sure is inconvenient especially since I wash my hands 952 times a day. And I only have six bandaids left. 

Oh I'm so so sorry!! If it helps at all I set a potholder on fire and got hit in the face with my son's whiffle ball.  I hope you're better now!!

[boltnrun]

4 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Oh I'm so so sorry!! If it helps at all I set a potholder on fire and got hit in the face with my son's whiffle ball.  I hope you're better now!!

OMG! Yikes!

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, boltnrun said:

OMG! Yikes!

I'm all good and no fire alarm was triggered lol.  I hope you're doing better today!

[boltnrun]

Thanks.  The stupid thing finally stopped bleeding late yesterday afternoon.  I'm glad the fire squadron didn't have to be called! 

So, my brother has a tenuous relationship with one of his kids and another one is flat out not speaking to him.  He has a great relationship with his third child.  Yesterday ended up being just me, him and his daughter (who lives with him).  I'm not sure how things are between them, but she stayed in her room with the door closed until dinner was served.  She then ate scrolling through her phone the entire time and when I tried to engage her in conversation she gave one word answers.  I finally gave up.  After dinner she went back to her room and closed the door.  So something's up there.  He's struggled with his relationships with his kids for about a dozen years.  It's hard to witness.

I'm not going anywhere near a retail store today.  Those crowds are insane.  I just want to relax, do some chores, watch football and take a walk along the boardwalk later this afternoon.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

She then ate scrolling through her phone the entire time and when I tried to engage her in conversation she gave one word answers.  I finally gave up. 

It was so good of you to try to engage her.  I hate that she sat there on her phone the whole time! I'm so glad your cut is better!

[boltnrun]

What also bothers me is I went out of my way to cook and transport two dishes that follow her specific dietary preferences.  Her dad almost never makes anything she can eat so I always make it a point to bring things that adhere to her diet.  And she didn't way a word.  Not "thank you", not "yum, this is good".  She ate all of one dish and three servings of the other so it's not like she just ate a little to be polite.  But she didn't say a word.  She didn't even come out of her room to say goodbye before I left for my hour long drive home.  If my adult kids had behaved like that I would have said something. Even though they are adults.  I get she's mad at her dad but what did I do?

[Seraphim]

I am so sorry she was rude to you . There is no excuse for it. I agree, even adult kids need to be called out for rudeness. 

[Batya33]

33 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I am so sorry she was rude to you . There is no excuse for it. I agree, even adult kids need to be called out for rudeness. 

Yes! That was so rude! She's old enough to know what an effort you put in to this.

[boltnrun]

57 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Yes! That was so rude! She's old enough to know what an effort you put in to this.

I know I can't call her out.  My brother's relationships with his kids are so tenuous that I won't say or do anything that might cause them to see him in even more of a negative light.  And if I say something to him he'll just say he doesn't want to rock the boat.  And I get it, I do.  

But it still hurts a bit.  I have made it a point to make and bring things she can eat (and it's not just buying her a prepared dish...I find recipes online and buy all of the ingredients and make them home made) for a few years now.  When they come visit my area and we go out to eat I always choose a place that has options for her preferred diet.  When I'm assigned to bring dessert to the family holiday gathering I always bring one specifically for her and I hand it to her when I get there, telling her it's for her only.  So to be basically disregarded was upsetting. And most of all, I truly love her so it bothers me that she might be lumping me in with her dad just because we're siblings. We've always got along really well so it's just confusing why she's suddenly so dismissive of me. 

[Seraphim]

Personally, I wouldn’t make anything next get together. Actions have consequences. 

[boltnrun]

35 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Personally, I wouldn’t make anything next get together. Actions have consequences. 

Yeah, she doesn't ask or expect me to. I just want to because her dad never makes anything she can eat.

I actually ate very little yesterday because most of what he cooked was super high in cholesterol and fat. He uses whole milk and three sticks of butter in his potatoes, gravy and stuffing. He basted the turkey in sticks of melted butter. His gravy is so thick with flour and butter you have to stir it constantly to get it to a somewhat liquid consistency. No vegetables other than the mashed potatoes (full of milk and butter). That's how he likes to eat and it's kind of him to invite me and cook that huge meal. I know he put a ton of work into it. But I don't eat that way (never have). I mainly wanted to spend time with him and his kids. He really is a good guy. 

[Seraphim]

I am glad you have a good relationship with your brother. I do with mine as well. I tend to eat more on holidays and less at other times. Not gorging you understand but more than I usually would . 

[Batya33]

11 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Personally, I wouldn’t make anything next get together. Actions have consequences. 

I had the same thought.

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Yeah, she doesn't ask or expect me to. I just want to because her dad never makes anything she can eat.

I actually ate very little yesterday because most of what he cooked was super high in cholesterol and fat. He uses whole milk and three sticks of butter in his potatoes, gravy and stuffing. He basted the turkey in sticks of melted butter. His gravy is so thick with flour and butter you have to stir it constantly to get it to a somewhat liquid consistency. No vegetables other than the mashed potatoes (full of milk and butter). That's how he likes to eat and it's kind of him to invite me and cook that huge meal. I know he put a ton of work into it. But I don't eat that way (never have). I mainly wanted to spend time with him and his kids. He really is a good guy. 

I am more and more of the view that a guest does not have to eat a lot -or at all -in order to join a meal and be social.  I hate the judgments about how much someone is eating or what they are eating.  And of course the guest should keep his/her mouth shut about comments about the food if they are critical.  I also would only want little tastes of that food.  Funny -I made stove top stuffing for my husband and son -maybe the second time in my life- I bought irish butter as the box said two tablespoons of butter and I don't buy it anymore.  So I did that then saw I could have halved the butter - said so. 

Anyway I figured 2 tablespoons for the entire box was fine and we didn't chow down on it anyway.  I had to make the meal kind of last minute so I did - fried chicken (we're not big turkey people and the local grocery store has the best fried chicken everyone says- I take off the skin), baked sweet potatoes (I added nothing but put a dab of butter on my son's as he is not a huge fan of yams), brussels sprouts (steamed - had a tiny bit of seasoning/sauce but negligible), a rice/orzo pilaf ready rice (also low/negligible added fat), and I mixed canned pineapple in fruit juice into cranberry sauce.  Chocolate cake alamode for dessert.  But -we ate -normally -not huge portions at all. 

Also I did no rolls/bread because of the stuffing.  It was less than $10/person with tons of leftovers (would have been around $50/person at any decent restaurant around here) and at least partly homemade.  But our purpose was to talk about what we were thankful for, we said some relevant prayers too.

I met people for lunch last Saturday and ate before -we met late, and honestly I feel I can socialize better if I'm not eating and then I don't overeat/feel like overeating.  I drank my water throughougt and was able to watch our table while they waited in line to order their food.  The focus on eating is a bit too much IMO - it should be more about the company IMO.

[boltnrun]

I didn't criticize his cooking.  I said "this is delicious, thank you" multiple times (in different ways, I didn't just repeat the same words).  And before he served I told him that unfortunately I have even more dietary restrictions than I used to, so while I'd love to eat some things I just can't risk it.  And he said something along the lines of "well, I thought it would be OK" and "aren't you just pre-diabetic?"  And I said it's not yet fully determined but if I am pre-diabetic I want to do what I can to try to avoid going into full-blown diabetes.  And that what happened to our cousin scared me.  He said he understood.  But no, I would never criticize someone's cooking when they've gone to the trouble and have kindly invited me.  

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

I didn't criticize his cooking

I know! I never said you did!  I think you handled it so well.  I was trying to be supportive. I've been to restaurants and homes where someone is on a new diet or newly vegan or really into being vegan and interjects comments that are negative or critical about what people are eating.  I know you didn't do that.