boltnrun

My cousin's husband created a second profile so he could cheat on her. Problem is, the dummy used the exact same profile pic. Dingbat. Yes, she's inclined to go ahead and divorce him.

So what happens if (when!) you meet someone in Asia? Are you going to explain that either you've a) asked your ex to wait for you so you can reconcile in two years or b) you are continuing to have some sort of relationship with your ex? How comfortable do you expect someone to be with that? Also, just because you're having a bit of "seller's remorse" today, in September 2021, doesn't mean in December of 2021 or March of 2022 you'll feel the same way. I mean, do you remember exactly what it was you were worrying about 3 years ago on this date? No need to panic. It will all work out the way it's supposed to, with someone who is completely right for you. Not "perfect", because that doesn't exist, but RIGHT. You don't need to worry about that. He found you, didn't he? He'll also be fine.

What's so bad about your "old life" that is causing you to fixate on this young woman who has a boyfriend and who views you as a friend and a source of attention? What "crazy" things are you planning on doing?

Are you telling her you wish she was promiscuous during sex? Or are you imagining a promiscuous woman? If you imagine and don't speak aloud about your fantasy I can't see why that would be a problem. I think many, many women have imagined Channing Tatum or Caleb Dressel or Jake from State Farm while having sex. Some women even have a "forceful sex" or "random stranger" fantasy. It's just a harmless fantasy as long as it's not acted upon.

Has he indicated he is interested in actively participating in relationship counseling?

Are you hoping she cheats on her boyfriend with you? It's puzzling why you're so enthralled with a young woman you only met once. What's going on in your life that you're trying to escape from or distract yourself?

She's paying all the bills and he's living there for free. He's not interested in contributing other than a chore or two. I don't think there's anything to "work out". Except the exact day he's moving out.

What's wrong with telling him "When we have arguments I feel that you act nonchalant and emotionless. Resolving arguments is important to me because YOU are important to me. Can we talk this out?" Instead of, you know, breaking up or threatening to and expecting him to beg or fall apart.

Why do you resort to manipulative games instead of talking to him like a mature adult? He probably got tired of it and decided to take you at your word. Don't be surprised if he's finally had enough.

She means she's afraid SHE won't find someone else.

Has he said he wants to "change"? If not, why would you think he would "change"? Make a list of the things you believe you love about him. Then compare the list to what you wrote in your OP. And make a third list of what you want in a romantic partner. That will help ground you. You 100% will not find the right man if you insist on staying with the wrong one.

If you think you'll get drunk and do something inappropriate, how about you just don't get drunk? You did not lose the love of your life. She's not the one.

Calmly tell him you've decided you two are not right for one another. If he demands a full explanation simply repeat that you feel you are incompatible. Don't point fingers or go the opposite way and castigate yourself. Simply tell him you are too different to be a good fit. Pack your belongings while he's away and then enlist a friend or family member to help you move so it's as quick as possible. Then ask for emotional support from family and friends. Yes, you will believe you "miss" him. You might even start to think you made a mistake or he wasn't so bad after all. But that's an emotional response. Write down (or re-read here) all the reasons why he's not right for you. And I promise you'll never find the right one as long as you keep yourself attached to the wrong one. Don't worry about "hurting" him, BTW. He'll think it's your loss lol. He doesn't seem very aware of himself. You will be just fine 🙂

You've been agonizing over this guy for a year now (I looked at your previous posts). Nothing you've written indicates this guy is any kind of friend to you. You can remove yourself from this toxic attachment anytime you want. You just have to decide to take out the garbage and stop bringing it back inside.

Sound hurt? Can't read correctly? You yourself said lying is unacceptable to you. Yet he lied and you defend him and want to stay with him. So lying is totally acceptable after all. Which is fine if that's what you choose for yourself. Obviously if you can't stop thinking about his lies they do bother you. The way to move on from lies is to not associate yourself with someone who chooses to lie.