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Hello, I realize it's not that long ago (<1 year) since my last thread on this forum, where I explained that I was living my best life yet worried that I was lagging behind on everyone else in terms of relationships (I was single, haven't been pursuing, still am). Since then, I frankly put it on the backburner and haven't been too worried about it. Unfortunately, that all changed at the start of this week. I encountered people talking about "the wall" -- women hitting 30 and "deteriorating" from then on forward. First I wrote it off as just another made-up cultural belief, but it did bother me. And the more I read up about it, the more I realized that, while …

I started this job which I had been working towards for the past two years. To be honest it’s sort of a dream for me, but also it’s a lot of pressure and it’s the most I’ve ever made my entire life. Right now, I’m sort of just studying a lot because I’m going to be working on this really big software project and I’m exhausted like everyday. After work, I just try to exercise as much as I can so I can fall asleep because I have really bad insomnia and I sit down all day. When I got my first programming job, I told myself I would start dating more and meet people, but I was just tired all the time and on the weekends I didn’t want to stress myself more. I wanted t…

This is a difficult topic to discuss, because my brain gets all twisted up when I think about it. It's basically the relationship between my mom, my sister, and me. My mom has positioned herself as a middleman between my sister and me. My sister is happy this way, my mom is happy this way, I am not happy this way. I've tried to circumvent it in the past, but have never been successful. My sister and my mom have (what I believe to be) a very codependent relationship with each other. I think it's a natural dynamic for their personality types. They are both naturally manipulative people. They actually conspire together to control situations, and they can do it almost w…

All my life I've really valued romantic love, and one of the most important things to me is finding a partner I can make memories with. Unfortunately, I seem to go for childish dudes and I am trying really hard to change that but not sure how. I know I need to love myself, and I am getting better at that. But I have a long way to go I think. For example, just yesterday for Valentine's. I had been talking to a dude for a while, and he seemed so perfect. He was spiritual just like me, and that's mostly what we talked about. He read part of the book I'm writing, he did meditations with me. I really thought that he was the dude I had been waiting for. He even physically …

Hi Before I begin I am not only interested in comments good or bad to what I say but also the things you struggle with (if u decide to share such things) There are two things I have struggled with One I feel I have been making headway with but it can be so easy to fall back I need to be careful and the other I have failed miserably at. I will begin with the latter People yelling and screaming at me. I remember when I was 10 my dad yelling at me about cleaning the tub and no matter how hard I tried to do what he wanted I was getting it wrong. It got worse and worse until I broke down crying in the tub and while I think somehow what happened affected me deeply because whil…

I turned 40 a few months ago, I got pregnant at 17 y/o with my 1st daughter who is now 22, then I had a 2nd girl 5 years later. Needles to say my marriage didn't last, we were way too young and not ready, After my divorce I stayed single for a few years, then dated on and off, I have had 2 serious relationships that ended badly The common denominator here is me. I am very needy, I have this horrible need for affection and acceptance that I try for it not to show by acting aloof but deep down I just want to be loved. I fall very quickly for unavailable men who use me for a while or who lie in order to get with me. I feel very lonely, otherwise my lif…

She copies the way I speak! How is that even possible!? I'm not sure If you have read my previous posts, but if you have you would know she has never liked me. In fact, I'm sure that's why my oldest sister and her started talking bad about me. I know, this sounds extremely petty, but this behavior is getting on my nerves! I am a very good writer and most of the people in my family know that, but there was one time where I brought it up and she responded with "I didn't know you were a writer!". Keep in mind she barely knew anything about it at the time. Now, she's on to copying that! She took a writing class at her college, but I shouldn't be freaking out about that. It's …

So I'm 25, my sister is 22. We haven't talked in about 3 years now. That reason being her boyfriend. They started dating when she was 18 and he was 35. He is a gigantic creep, has come onto me, cheated on her, had her using heroin. ANYWAYS, even beyond that, one time him and my sister made sure that I walked in on them having sex when my boyfriend at the time was out of town. They knew I was home and chose to act like that with the door wide open. Anyways, called my then boyfriend, be called and confronted her boyfriend about it and it was a big ordeal. Because they didn't "understand why that was wrong". Fast forward 3 months, my boyfriend was sleeping prio…

So I’ve been doing research into how to improve my self esteem. I came across a “celebrity therapist” and hypnotherapist named Marisa Peer. She has a lot of videos on YouTube and has done Ted talks etc. Her theories seem to make so much sense but I’m struggling with her claim that she has transformed severely ill patients after a few sessions by treating the 3 core causes of their issues, rather than the symptoms of their depression etc. I have been trying out one of her practices for the last few days and I’ve got to say, I do feel a lot better and that’s making me consider purchasing one of her courses (she has free short ones I could trial I think). I can’t find mu…

I am moving hopefully soon, it depends on the housing situation in our new location. Since it has become more real to me I feel myself detaching from this location. I don’t care about connecting with the people or events etc. I feel irritated if people ask me to feel involved. It is almost like I am desperate to move on.

(I didn't know where to categorize this so I apologize if it's wrongly placed 😬) So my grandma lives fairly close to me (within half an hour). She lives next to my dad, but in her own house. The thing is, she is a bully. She is so mean and always has been. But I know she's so lonely. And occasionally she can be fun to be around. But even though I live so close I see her/talk to her around once a month because sometimes that is literally all I can make myself do after being around her for so long. She has tormented a good portion of my life (though I don't believe it was all intentional). Also she is like that to everyone, not just me. But I just feel lots o…

I went through an unhappy chapter of life in 2012-2015 (early 30s). I was living in an unfamiliar town, and had little luck forging personal or romantic relationships. To boot, I was in a job that made me miserable. I was happiest when I had the opportunities to leave town, which was as frequently as possible. That period taught me a lot about what I didn't want out of life and really forced me to grow and come out a more mature or stronger person. It prompted me to grapple with my sexuality (I'm gay) and begin the process of coming out. In 2015 I moved to a new city, which is where I live now. I've fallen in love with life here, met the love of my life in 2018, got …

Hi all I’m new to this forum but desperately needed someone to talk to and to offload. It may sound trivial to some but my issue is that I have a really bad problem with crippling anxiety around what others think of me. It’s something I really struggle with to the point that it’s taken over my life. I’m 36 years old and have a great family and a great life and growing up perhaps in till I was around 23 I didnt care what irrelevant people thought of me, I had this confidence that made the opinions of others insignificant, I just enjoyed my life and concentrated on my family friends and my own business. Since I was about 23 I have had a number of significant traumatic…

It’s been almost seven months since my last relationship ended. I ventured into the world feeling lonely. I freaked out at the thought of not having someone to call my own. It was easy to become bitter and resentful of love when my thoughts were constantly consumed of it. The bitterness was really a reflection of how I felt towards myself. I thought “Nobody will want ugly ol me. I don’t deserve love, I have nothing to give.” As the days progressed I realized I had to face her, the woman in the mirror. She was unkind the way she mocked my appearance. I stared her down one morning and I saw for the first time how worn out she appeared. She had dark circle…

Coming put of a relationship, twisted and hurt. Honestly, i want another chance with my ex. But either that's moot point or it'll be forever until we even get close to having a superficial conversation. I never blamed her for anything. I know and own every mistake I did that led to where I am today. So I move on. Its been a few months now. Broke up somewhere between September and October of 2020. Since then, she had moved to a different state. She tried giving low contact a chance but she felt the wounds never healed and ultimately went NC. I got the hint one day when she quietly unfriended me from all social media. I did the same and unfollowed her as w…

Hey all, I’m new here. Not really sure who else to reach out so thought I’d join and hopefully it’ll help me offload. My daily battle with anxiety is becoming a struggle now. just a question for you all, what’s one thing that helped you cope with anxiety? When you went through a hard time what lesson did you learn? has to helped you grow as person? Why do we allow ourselves to get into such a dark place? Why does our mind have so much control over us? Why aren’t we more powerful than our mind? when I have the courage to open up I will do that. For now I’m just trying to stand on my own two feet and find a safe place for me to talk and express how I…

I’m 45 year old single by choice. I'm financially independent and run a successful salon business. I have noticed that I'm very strongly attached to my sister and nephew. when she got married i missed her & now when shes busy i miss her a lot. i feel lonely and cant do without seeing them both. i don't want to feel this attached. I feel I'm unable to handle relationships. I need guidance on how to cope with these feelings of attachment, loneliness and feel like I don’t have a purpose in life . Pls help!

I have literally faced 4 rejections. However I do not have the strength to face the fifth one. I am tired and I am sick of it. In fact I literally become frustrated. How do I go through the fifth one? How do I deal with it if I am rejected the fifth time?

This has been an issue of mine for a while now. I'm currently between therapists, unfortunately. (Hence why I've posted here a lot lately.) Imposter syndrome is something I've struggled with all my life. I also have OCD. (And I mean I really do have it. I'm not just one of those people who brags about being "So OCD" like it's just a cute personality quirk. I've been diagnosed by a mental health professional.) Two things happened today that really got to me. One, I was sketching out a painting in my art room, using a reference photo on the computer. I'm a professional artist and there are multiple schools of thought about reference photos. A majority of…

Hey I kinda feel like I need someone to help me stop feeling so desperate and hopeless. I feel like my life is just a total mess. I feel like I’ve made so many bad choices and like I’ve screwed everything up and nothing is ever gonna get better. I’m 33, I’m dirt poor, living in a tiny flat that I can barely afford rent for, I work massively long hours on minimum wage to try to pay the bills, and I’m trying to bring up three kids as a single mum. I just feel tired and ground down by it all so bad. I feel like i've screwed up so much and there's no way out for me. I had a really rough childhood, my mum was an alcoholic, I never knew my dad and I was kinda neglec…

Hello all! I’m having a bit of a debate with a friend, and it got me thinking. I’d love to hear everyone’s opinion on this. We were talking about a specific beach here in town and it’s an optional nude beach. people are clothed, but a lot of them choose to be nude. I personally haven’t taken my daughter, but it’s more of an inconvenience due to distance, than me being uncomfortable with the idea. My daughter is 3.5 for the record. I’m not trying to settle a debate or anything, since we’re aware we have differing opinions, but I’m more curious how people generally feel about this topic, since it got me thinking a bit. I grew up in Europe and people sunbat…

As you all know from my last post I went through a sad breakup back in September and have remained single to work on myself. I noticed one night lying awake, unable to sleep. I either find guys who are emotionally unavailable and can’t commit or guys who are just downright weird and aggressive . I need to know why I pick the wrong men. I tried looking into myself and improving daily on what I need to do for me. I can’t start therapy quite yet due to Covid but it’s high on my radar. I’m with a mental health groups where I have a psychiatrist and case manager that can easily get me the right therapist. I want to find love and I don’t want to keep repeati…

So I have suffered from anxiety and insecurities for pretty much all of my life. I have had relationships here and there, but not LTR. While I have been somewhat lonely for years, I have been able to enjoy life with friends and managed to make success in a career. I finally felt that I was in a place in my life where I could consider romantic relationships and live stable, normal life. Especially I felt I was finally emotionally ready to face possible rejections and keep my emotions in check whatever happens. It turns out I was wrong, very wrong. I feel quite a few women were interested in me but my anxiety and insecurities still exists and caused my dates to lose in…

Full moons are a time of ending and letting go of things that don’t serve you. In a little less than a week we have a full moon. I’m considering this my New Years Eve if you will. The thing is I don’t exactly have a ritual in mind. I have some affirmations that I recorded that I fall asleep too and play throughout the day. Someone was telling me I should make an altar and meditate to the candlelight with my affirmations playing in the background so now I’m doing research on candle magick Do any of you have a set full moon ritual

Hi everyone I would just like some advice. I am learning how to set boundaries with people I am meeting. I am also learning about how to avoid attracting attention and being 'pressured' into friendships or commitments. avoiding conflict best as possible. I am currently working with a life coach but would love your input. Please could you give me responses to these questions I face and I don't want to seem rude but I need nice 'comebacks' 1, A girl I just met for 5 minutes wants to go hang out with me. I have made continuous excuses about the pandemic but she still asks. I do not want to pursue a friendship or hangout with her. But she is a work coll…