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I thought I would put together a thread here to provide some information on and a place to discuss this particular type of break up. I've had relationships end because of it along with a few of my friends. In addition, I've had friends be the ones stricken with this 'syndrome', so I've seen how it plays out from both sides. Hopefully, I can provide a little insight to help those of you going through this type of breakup. The more we understand something, the more comfortable with it we become and the less scary it seems.
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For those who have been following my journal, I was blindsided and dumped about three months ago. I have learned many a lesson from this experience, and previous ones--and I am still learning. I offer some of those lessons here, as I hope they are useful to someone else going through what I did. It is largely because of this site that I am feeling that my life is back together now, and I want to give as much back as I can.
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A small warning to those who's hearts are broken and nowhere close to healing.... do not go on your FIRST instinct. It is usually wrong.You must remember this...no matter what your situation, no matter how bad....or how insignificant....there are things you can NOT do to get them back... How many people out here have done things that seemed like a great idea, yet did not turn out as expected. ( I.E. Calling, meeting them out unannounced, cards, letters, IM's etc etc. )??
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This ‘guide’ has been written to give people here guidance on what to do after a break-up. This has been written using my own experience, and also drawing on the experiences of others in my personal life, and also from these boards themselves.Goal The goal of this post primarily focuses on two things: To maintain the dumpee’s self-respect and dignity, To avoid being pitied by the dumper
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This is about helping you to get past the pain of breakup, and start to heal. It is founded on no contact, but goes beyond it: it is Enchanced No Contact. First, what's it all about? Well, we know that no contact is advocated widely as a valuable tool for healing after a breakup. It's not a panacea, and is not for absolutely everyone regardless of circumstances, but it does work effectively for most people, and reduces pain at a time when it's desperately needed.
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We got dumped and we start to shrivel up inside and grasp for imaginary straws. We beg, plea and sob in front of them to give us another chance. This of course only validates their decision to be free of us. So we post here for advice. Hoping that one of us here would tell us
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