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eNotAlone public & private journals.
  1. What's new in this club
  2. Ohhhhhh !!!! I'm going to sound nuts, but that looks like the kind of duck that is next on my list of desired animals for our backyard farm!!!! A peking duck I think? We just want one female and plan to sell the eggs since people in this area love buying duck eggs (seems odd to me, but then I've never tried one). ❤️ I had no idea we'd be able to take her on adventures LOL ❤️
  3. We're on vacation! Some things have gone great, others not so great. But in general it's been a very nice little getaway. I've seen one friend and am heading out to see some more a bit later. Also nice to see my former home city and all the changes that have happened over the past two years. Only thing that has me kind of scratching my head is my niece and nephew. Mainly my niece, because they've been wanting to sleep most of the day and/or watch TV. They could have done that at home instead of traveling several hours. It's just funny. My brother had to almost drag them out the door to take them shopping and sightseeing at 3:30 pm.
  4. Time to stay in our own country another year. Shooting after mass shooting. Nope. Travel our own country.
  5. I recently got a copy of When Money Dies, about the insane inflation in Austria and Germany and surrounding areas after WWI, when their currency slowly became worthless. What's interesting is that it has diary entries of what it was like on the ground. Here is an excerpt: There are other diary examples... one woman selling her beautiful piano for a sack of wheat flour to feed her kids. People dropping dead in the street from hunger, mostly elderly men because they were too proud to ask for help and couldn't live on their meager retirement pay.
  6. Dating was awful even over a decade ago. It seemed like it was probably easier in the 80's 90's but that may just be my fanciful idea of what it was like, rather than experienced reality. It does seem harder now, though. Although vetting should be easier because with social media, people put everything out there now it seems, good and ugly. Granted meeting in real life is a necessity so you can see if they're filtering pictures 😉
  7. When it wears off, your brain *does* feel more anxiety and out of control. From a medical website: I can't drink very much at all because of this... like half a bottle of beer LOL
  8. I’m just a fun drunk until I’m snoozy and sleepy and curl up in a booth. Doesn’t make me any flirtier because I am, to my own detriment, a shameless flirt - with booze or not! 🤪 x
  9. You’re a dark horse Jib 😉 🐴 x
  10. Dias, You can do this! You are more talented and intelligent than you maybe realise - teamed with your work ethic? You can get this done. Too easy!!! Jake has pure maths or whatever from Oxford? They were gonna let a bum like me potentially read History and English there - the place has slipped 😉 Your colleges have respect for you and you them. I feel like, from your latest writings Dias, you are just going over a bump. It’s alright, we all do. Remember! You’re Greek! Didn’t you guys invent maths? And most of our basis for philosophy? This is a breeze. Keep pouring that whiskey down the sink and instead go out on a weekend, let off steam and drink with friends and chicks at a bar. Sometimes for our big problems, we need a bit of time away, lots of sleep to let our brain work through it and also, just to let our hair down. Catch a nap if you can? Even 15-20 minutes. When you are relaxed, it’s such an underrated state. A lot of good things happen. In boxing, there is nothing worse than a tense fighter. You have to go in loose. Work out what’s winding you tight! We’re in your corner! And when you get this done, huge job opportunities, and get that whackin’ pay cheque my friend! You will have earned it! All the best Socrates! x
  11. The date who cancelled called and explained that she is dealing with personal/mental health issues and is not in a good place for a relationship. I responded I think well, empathized with her, and then after a minute or two we hung up. She seemed thankful that I responded the way I did, but I cannot be sure. Of course, the issues are probably genuine, and I don't wish that on anyone. But if it was also just an excuse to let me down easy: yeouch. There have been very few people showing interest, then out of nowhere there is a person showing initial promise, reciprocating, etc., we set a coffee date... And then now there is no opportunity even to see if we're compatible. I'm really bummed out. Life is difficult, dating now is difficult -- and especially in that sphere -- it is like one let-down after another. I hope I can find my person at some point 😞
  12. Dating has been really hard this past year. Here are some updates. My former friend (and former FWB) U is still with someone else. But I recognize there is too much baggage there and I don't want to be with her. And I don't want to be friends calling each other and flirting all of the time because that would plausibly bring me right back to pining over her while she is with someone else (and my friend, at that). She keeps texting me (even though we are in space/NC/LC mode. She even showed up at a dance venue I frequent, likely to "run into me by happenstance." Just yesterday or so, she sent another text message asking to catch up/talk about resuming our friendship. I responded today that I was sorry for the wait, hope she is well, but I want to continue as we have been. I have my head on straight with this, but it isn't enjoyable (and is quite uncomfortable) to constantly rebuff someone I fell for not too long ago. I matched with someone I knew briefly in college on a dating site. She is very pretty, and seems kind, driven, and compassionate. We seemed to hit it off right away, compliments and kindness (no love bombing or anything, but it seemed to be going well). We exchanged numbers and yesterday set up a coffee date for today. I checked ahead to make sure the coffee place was open, we were meeting about halfway, and the coffee place looked nice enough inside (via Google). She messaged me today about an hour before with a message that she had to cancel -- and that she can call me later to explain. That she has always been responsive/following through so far -- and that she said she could call to explain -- makes me think there is a legitimate reason behind the cancellation.I responded that it was alright, thank you for letting me know, and that I hope all is okay. I hope there is a legitimate reason: I was really optimistic about the date. I hope also that she is okay and that we reschedule. Still, I am a little bummed out at the moment. Dating really is something a lot more difficult in my late 20s. I finished law school final exams for the semester, and I started a new job as a law clerk. It is going as a complicated field would on the first few days. I should set an appointment to discuss my meds with my doctor. I have been really anxious lately. I have a recurring series of therapy appointments starting Monday. That should be helpful. I am thankful that I have practiced meditation in the last few months. Because of that, it has been easier to identify (and subsequently cause to dissipate) racing anxious thoughts. Hanging in there, but not really feeling zestful about life right now. Just one bummer after another lately, as I struggle to improve myself and stay afloat.
  13. So I ended up convincing a private money lender who uses all cash, they were able to see the value in flipping a house out in a rural area. It's still waiting on appraisal though, and I'm not sure the seller will accept my offer, but we may be very close to getting one because I was able to make a cash offer this week. Fingers crossed 🤞.
  14. Sounds like my profession! I've been reading a lot lately about time management and task management. All of the solutions revolve around breaking down a problem into tasks. But when you have a complex problem that requires research, it's not so easy. Let's say on paper, the problem can be broken down into 10 fuzzy tasks, each of which require analysis and research to define (let alone complete). In my profession, it's common to discover that Task 1 takes 22 steps to define, and 12 steps to complete. I don't even want to think about Task 2 at that point. I just want to go to sleep!
  15. This project I am doing this month is a pain in the *ss, the most difficult project I have ever done. And I have to do it alone without guidance whatsoever because nobody in the department has this knowledge. I have to research and research and research and experiment with these new technologies and I have to usually do it outside of the working hours since I have to work on the BAU tasks during the working hours. I am doing it because 1) I suggested this solution 2) I need to learn the latest technologies, nobody is going to teach me so I have to do it myself. This knowledge is my ticket to the next job. Jake provided a solution but it was not stable and the performance was poor so my manager asked me to come up with another solution. The fact that Jake came up with a solution albeit not the best in two weeks is mind-boggling. Keep in mind the guy is not an engineer on paper, he does have a Masters' degree in Math from Oxford so he has good technical background but coding is not his day job and still he is probably the best coder in the company. I think Jake is one of those very rare truly gifted individuals. I am in the right path to solve the problem but man it's painful. I started 1 month ago and still I haven't finished. It would take more weeks (or weekends to be more accurate) to finish. At least if I manage to provide a good solution I would get the satisfaction of solving a problem that even Jake couldn't solve. He is certainly the smartest person in the company but I am certainly the most persistent person in the company hahahahaha
  16. I didn't experience the waking up in the middle of the night part but I believe alcohol makes me feel more anxious and more emotional than usually without any valid reason. I can't explain it. I guess this is why they say alcohol and drugs impair your abilities. Everything is fine at first but when it becomes a habit things change. I stopped drinking on Thursday, I will update in a week, let's see if it's alcohol indeed that causes this internal havoc.
  17. Definitely no, is my gut reaction. I'm finally embracing the freedom of our last baby getting a little easier and having time to do even small things like read a book 😕. Let alone the big things we're undertaking. We were very happy to be done. We'll have to see what happens and IF it comes to that. I cried telling my husband the dream. But I've seen things like that work out.... It could just be a dream, but we'll have to see.
  18. Here on base our houses are run by an agency called the Canadian Forces Housing Agency. ( CFHA)It is a civilian agency. I think though because it is not past the May long weekend which is the official start ti summer in Canada they are not required by law to do anything immediately. They are not required to provide air conditioning before that time or heat before the end of October in any immediate fashion. After that I believe it must be within a certain time space .
  19. I'm totally shocked (and thankful) I slept well last night. Normally when I have to do something the next day that scares me or makes me nervous I can't sleep. I think I forgot I'm driving six hours by myself at night across the desert after work today lol.
  20. Ouch. Where I used to live AC was considered mandatory for rental properties. So if you were in a rental they had to fix it within 24 hours. If you owned your own place you were at the mercy of the AC contractors. I don't have AC where I currently live. It's supposed to be in the 90s this weekend. Fortunately I'll be out of town. Hope you aren't too uncomfortable.

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