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eNotAlone public & private journals.
  1. What's new in this club
  2. Isn't it awesome, they solve problems on the fly. At first I couldn't believe it he could find a solution that fast, I thought he must have done it before or he "cheated". Nope, he is just that smart lol. I don't feel intimidated by people who are better than me because I was never the "best" in any group in my life, I compromised with the fact that many people are better than me long time ago. I am clever enough to learn from them though.
  3. I love working with (or for) people like that.
  4. Just cleaned the infection and changed the bandages. There was a lot less green fluid on the bandage today. The infection has migrated a little down my arm, though. It was just at the top of the tattoo. The tattoo is of an owl with a hexagonal; pattern behind it. Well, it was just the owl's face and part of one of the wings that was infected, now it's mostly gone from the one side of the face but it's moved down further onto the wing. You know I've never really considered myself a bird lover. But I have three birds tattooed on me. My peacock on my left thigh, my raven on my upper back, and now the owl on my arm. Parts of it will definitely need re-colored. people are telling me I shouldn't go back to the same artist. But it's also not really ethical to go to a different artist. A lot of tattoo artists won't touch another artist's work. Well... time for wine and Netflix.
  5. Jake is the manager of my manager. Jake is unusually clever, he holds a Master's degree in Math from Oxford. I wouldn't know he is that clever only by seeing/talking to him in the calls. He does not have a "geeky" face or any conceit. It happened to collaborate in a couple of tasks and I was really impressed by how intelligent he is. He is not the typical "manager", he has deep knowledge and understanding of technical stuff, he is better than the developers lol There were times I was trying to code something for hours and he found it in 5 minutes. My manager (who is pretty competent himself) told me he used to be intimidated by Jake when he first worked with him years ago, now he is too old and does not care anymore lol Funny thing is, Jake believes the same about me. My name in this email was not chosen in a raffle as I thought. Jake requested it. I asked him why he picked me and he said he is impressed by what I have done so far and that I try until I succeed. It's what I call persistence and a lot of unpaid overtime lol. I am flattered nonetheless because it's coming from an extremely clever person.
  6. There is nothing to envy or wish my dear. It's just a job. The difference between what we call career and a job is that career is a job with room for improvement which gives you a sense of purpose. I think you have already found your purpose πŸ™‚ Thank you πŸ™‚ Yes we all agree December babies are the coolest 😎 Thank you Jib πŸ™‚
  7. Thank you reinvent πŸ™‚ Right! What is the point? I think some people really enjoy the act of exchanging gifts. It's fine if you enjoy doing it, not for me personally. The best gift would be spending time together I guess, maybe at home or a nice restaurant. This is what my parents ask for a gift. I spent enough time in Athens this year but for them it's never enough. Beautiful granddaughter btw πŸ™‚
  8. I didn't realize how messed up our health care system really was in this country until I spent time in other countries. It's so corrupt. I accidentally took two doses of my antidepressant about a year and a half ago. My doc's office was closes, so I called urgent care and just asked them if I was safe or if I should worry. The lady got really pissy with me and told me to go to the ER. I Said something like, "Well am I gonna get sick? Like do you think this is an emergency?" She just hung up on me. I ended up calling poison control and they answered me just fine.
  9. That myth is dying now, though... at least in my part of the world. I have actually been exposed to Hepatitis C. I don't have the disease, but my blood contains antibodies for it. I have it narrowed down to a few things in my life that could have exposed me to it. When I went to a specialist to get blood work down to see if the actual virus was present in my system, the specialist too one look at me and just assumed it was from tattoos. And when he found out I've been tattooed in multiple countries he really thought that had to be the source. I was romantically/sexually involved with one of my tattoo artists back in 2010. A lot of people told me things like, "Well because of his job aren't you worried about diseases?" Thankfully we are still good friends, since he did a few tattoos on me. It would suck if it was a bad split and then I've got his work on me for life. Stereotypes are rooted in truth, though. Tattoo shops used to be really seedy places where cleanliness wasn't taken into consideration. I've known a few artists who are older and worked before the AIDS epidemic, and needles were reused back then. It's scary to think about.
  10. I don't really know if I believe in signs from those who have passed. I'd like to believe in them. Is it because it brings us comfort in some small way? That they are present even though they are gone? While going through my moms things after her passing, my brother and I were speechless over the amount of angels she had. Tiny wood ones. A couple of them super glued to the tops of lamps? Most of them so tiny they would go unnoticed. It wasn't until we had to go through everything we recognized the magnitude of amount of them. After going through weeks of packing her things and ultimately getting ready to turn the rest over to an estate salesperson, we left the dreaded last task until the end of clearing out her storage unit over her carport. She was quite the amazon shopper. Boxes of new unopened goodies, including several boxes of tiny glass angel ornaments never opened. I stepped away and gasped, telling my brother to look inside. We were originally amused at the numbers up to this point. Now we are just speechless. We divided up what I recall was about a dozen boxes, each one with a dozen glass angels and took them home. Last year I put up a small Christmas tree with nothing but my moms angels. I am now my mother. I have little angels discreetly sprinkled throughout my home. Sitting on my bed, currently accounting for 3 of them in this room. . . oops, make that 4. My mom wasn't very warm and fuzzy. I honestly think she had it in her, but didn't know how to show it. I can only assume the angels brought her comfort after having lost my Dad. She was also the type of person to tell me, 'Once I am gone, forget about me and get on with your life!' She was quite a character with a bratty sense of humor. Now, 3 years later every time I am dusting or moving an angel around, when I come across it, they are often missing a wing or both. I am pretty careful with my things. No explanation why I can't keep these little treasures safe. I get mad at myself at times as to why I can't protect these little angels with better care. It just doesn't seem to add up. The other day, getting out some decorations, I come across a 3" acrylic night light of my moms. An angel no less. It was placed in the cupboard above my fridge last year. I go to get it and there are absolutely no wings on it! I pull everything out of the cupboard looking for the wings and they aren't there. I can guarantee that it was put away intact. From the downstairs powder room to a cupboard 5 feet around the corner, that is opened no more than twice a year. Where did the wings go? I put up a small tree this year that doesn't require ornaments. I tie one small glass angel of my moms as a topper and sit down that evening to enjoy it. Within 20 minutes that angel dramatically threw itself to the floor and shattered into a million pieces. After cleaning my out my garage a couple weeks ago I come across a Christmas lighted yard sign. One you can hang. It's pretty large. "Happy Holidays" With the orientation of my townhome I just can't find a place to hang it. I test it out and it works beautifully. It just so happens to be 5 feet across, the exact same size as the front picture window at my bfs home. I offer it him. We double tested it and ran to home depot for hooks and extension cords. 2 hours later and then another hour until it's dark and Ha in Happy won't light up. ;/ Bless him for spending a few hours the following day trying to revive it to no avail. I swear she's messin' with me. A broken wing here and there maybe, but to this degree can't be a coincidence? I know she'd be really mad at me that I am still sooo sad over her leaving. She was that 'No tears!' mom. But in reality she was just as much as a softy as I am. She just always tried to hide it.
  11. Happy Belated Birthday! I campaigned for the last few months to stop the holiday gift exchange. The anxiety in running around buying other adults things they don't need and them feeling obligated to do the same. I managed to influence about 50% of them. Maybe next year I'll get all of them on board. Christmas is for kids!
  12. I can relate to that. Frankly, I wish my family would stop with the gift exchange. We've tried in the past, but it somehow keeps 'growing back' lol.
  13. The baby next door is starting to talk. I can hear him saying "Ma Ma" instead of just crying when he wants something. I love babies. I don't need one around all the time, but I do love them.
  14. Yeah, who does that lol!!! I shot myself in the foot last night. It's chilly here (well, chilly for where I live!) so I wanted a nice mug of hot cocoa before bed. I realized it might not be a great idea because of the caffeine but I wanted a hot, chocolatey drink. So yeah, I was awake most of the night. I think I got three hours of sleep total. Hopefully the engineering department doesn't have anything complex for me to work on today.
  15. Colleagues ask me if I bought gifts for my family and I am like emmmm not really. We don't give gifts to each other or follow any tradition in my immediate family. The last time we set up a Christmas tree was 20+ years ago. We just don't "have" it in the family. To be honest, I don't really appreciate the act of giving/receiving gifts. I know it's the thought that counts but still...for me it's the actions that count when I need a helping hand with something, you know daily regular stuff. To each his own I guess.
  16. I usually go to urgent-care-type places when I get sick, since I don't have a regular doctor. Those places are weird. A couple years ago, I was driving down to Florida with my family and someone rear ended us. It was pretty minor. But the next day, we decided to go to an urgent care to get checked out. I couldn't believe it when they turned us away, saying "We don't treat head injuries." Head injuries??? Wth?? There are so many reasons why I thought (think) that was so stupid--I don't want to get started. Bottom line: insurance and liability. That's all they really care about. The health industry consists of mostly money-makers, not healers. They don't care about individuals. You are a statistic.
  17. Yeah I guess I should count my blessings for sure.
  18. I agree. I also can't stand those commercials where they tie a big bow around a car and give it as a gift.
  19. There's a myth that people who get tattoos go to shady tattoo parlors where needles are reused and everyone has AIDS. I couldn't donate blood for forever because I have ONE tattoo and because of that the Red Cross presumes I'm HIV+.
  20. I'm sorry. You are going through so much in such a short period of time. And at such a difficult time of the year. I know it's very tough.
  21. This is a book that I bought back when I was 15 or 16. It was the fourth book in a series, so that momentum carried me through the purchase. That and the fact that I wasn't terribly selective back then lol. Honestly, I don't know how I ever got through it, and I'm pretty sure that I read it more than once. As an adult, I've reread many of the books that I purchased as a teenager and I've been pleased to discover that most of them--most--are quite good. Exceptions are this one and (it pains me to say it) the Dragonlance series. I'm powering through this one because I saw that the author finally came out with the fifth and sixth books in the series and I want to complete the series (after almost 30 years lol).
  22. I've lost 8 lbs since I started really sticking to meal prepping. Tomorrow I'm making shrimp and cauliflower Alfredo. So far the challenge with this has just been finding room in my fridge to fit everything. I don't get bored eating the same thing for several days in a row. I love to cook., so it's fun coming up with new ideas. The girls at work always say they are coming to my place for dinner, etc. I'm really gonna miss this job. 😞 I spend a few hours on Sunday and make all my breakfasts and lunches for the week. Everything is portioned out and ready to just pop in the microwave. I don't do dinners because I don't really eat dinner. I have chopped fruits and vegetables ready to go though as snacks for in the evening if I'm hungry. I really need to get back into the gym. It's like every time I get any momentum with my workout schedule, something stops me. Right now it's the staph infection. Yea, it doesn't stop me from exercising. But sweating under the bandages, etc will just irritate it and result in a lot of discomfort and prolong the healing process. I waited for this tattoo for about 5 years. The artist who did it, Xaq has done work for me before. His work is amazing. He is worth traveling two hours one way for. So for 5 years this is something I've wanted. There were times when I had the money but couldn't get down to him. And then there were times when I was in his area but broke. Then I finally get it, and this happens. And it's such a gorgeous tattoo. I just hope it doesn't heal all messed up. And my OCD... I didn't know until this that a staph infection was contagious. I guess it seems obvious. But since I've never had one and never known anyone who did, I guess it's just knowledge I never needed. Before I knew it was infected and I just thought it was healing rough, I would rub it just to make it feel better. Omg... all the times I rubbed it and then petted my cat. All the times I rubbed it and touched my face after. My bed sheets.... He told me to use organic coconut oil on it while it's healing. Well coconut oil is really good for hair. There were a few times when I put the coconut oil on it and wasn't able to wash my hands right away, so I would just rub the oil in my hair. Ugh... I just rubbed staph all through my hair. Like when I touched it and then pet the cat. Ok, I rubbed it all over him and then he's going to lick himself like cats do. I hope I didn't get him sick, poor baby. He (my cat... who's name is Chippy... short for Chipotle.) kept trying to lick it when it was brand new. I've never had a cat do that before. I didn't let him. But animals have instinct when it comes to stuff like that. Maybe he knew it was infected. Yesterday when I was dizzy and had a fever and went to urgent care... I told the receptionist what was going on and she was like, "We don't treat infected tattoos here." I was like, "Well it's an infection. It shouldn't matter how I got it." If I would have walked in there with an infected cut on my arm they would have treated that, but she wanted to give me a hard time because it's a tattoo. She said she would talk to the manager. They ended up seeing me. The doc said it's a good thing I came when I did because it was starting to get really bad. Since Z left, I've gotten 5 tattoos. Pain is healing. And also, it's been a way of feeling beautiful. Decorating myself to feel good. They've all been tattoos I've wanted for a long time. I don't even consider inking anything on my body unless it's something I've wanted for a year or more. That's my rule of thumb. I have another one scheduled in March... I still haven't decided what that one will be yet, though. And speaking of Z... since I know anyone reading this is probably curious about her... We did speak last night. She told me her depression has been bad and that she had a really rough few days. She told me there are still things she wants to work through before we meet in person to talk about things. And that's fine... because I am questioning if I am ready, too. I only want this to happen when we are both comfortable with it. I've never been so in love with anyone in my life. She is my baby... I didn't think it was possible to love anyone as much as I love her. Last night I kept having dreams about her. In one we were in some really fancy hotel room. There was this huge pile of pillows. They were fancy pillows, too. And we were sitting on this pile of pillows just talking. She had on a blue dress. And we ended up kissing and confessing our love to each other. I am no idiot. I know she might not feel how I feel;. But I also can't just stop feeling that way. I got K a few Christmas presents today. He wants paint and canvases. I got him those. I got him a set of 30 acrylic paints, some canvases, even some black ones, and some brushes. I want to give them to him early so bad. He loves the show Miraculous. I'm also getting him a miraculous lamp for his room and L and I are going in halves on an Xbox for him. He's my K Monster. I want his christmas to be awesome. He's had a rough year. Poor little guy.
  23. Anyway...wow, there are a lot of testy people these days. I really dislike how the holiday season has become a time of stress, anxiety and pressure instead of a joyous time of celebration and family love. It's not about gifts or fancy or elaborate dinners or who is going to who's home and who is feeling guilty because this aunt or that parent doesn't feel like they're getting enough time and attention. Or who spent how much. And I really, really despise those tacky commercials that insist you suck as a husband or boyfriend if you don't buy your wife or girlfriend a shiny rock that costs several thousands. "Every kiss begins with Kay" is ridiculous. The subtext is, you won't get any booty from your lady unless you buy her a giant, expensive rock. So stupid. Relax! Enjoy the pretty decorations, enjoy family time. And for those who believe, I recommend remembering why this holiday season even exists. It's not about a jolly guy in a red suit who brings piles of expensive gifts if you're allegedly "good". It's about celebrating whatever your faith believes, or if you're not a person of faith, celebrating the season with family and friends. I remember years ago my mom and I were watching some TV program where the children sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus during their holiday pageant. We thought that was adorable.
  24. My brother is inland, though, and still paid close to $700,000. It's just the way it is here. Where I used to live it was a lot cheaper. I was paying only $50 more per month but I had a two bedroom two full bathroom house with a garage and front and backyard. And a huge eat in kitchen with an island and tons of storage (including a massive pantry), a dining room and a laundry room inside the house. And it was in a gated country club community. But that was there and this is here. That's great that the prices are so good where you are.
  25. Rents here are about $3000 a month for a house and about $1900 for an apartment. We are lucky living on base and pay $925.
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