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About Me

  1. If you could have any one super power, what would it be? Mine would be the ability to stop time. Isn't that the one thing I always hear myself saying, thinking, feeling? If only I had more time. Isn't that the wish on everyone's tongue tip? So okay, new found power, say you happen, I know the moral of the day is that I'll end up wasting you on trivial s**t, but sometimes I just need to gather my thoughts and collect myself. Life is fast and it only seems to be getting faster. One day I was 16 and all I could think about was the endless currency of precious time I had to spend. It
  2. I am in the middle of a divorce (that my wife wanted). At first everything was my fault and I started to believe some of it until I found out there was someone else involved with her. At first she denied it and said they were just “good friends” and then I had proof of all the texting going on between the two and she couldn’t deny it anymore. She still said “he’s not the reason I’m leaving” “don’t tell anyone about this”. Typical cheater stuff. We’ve been together 11 years, married for 5. Both of us are 30 years old and we’ve known each other since elementary school. She had only known this g
  3. Hello All, Without getting to personal, I wanted to keep this somewhat general and ask about Sex and Marriage and the "whys" and "confusion" I have being a man with this sensitive topic - Somewhat geared towards the married woman on the boards, but open to anyone who wants to add some advice! 1. Why is it that when you date you seem to have a different perspectives on how Sex should be between the two of you, (IE - frequency, level of interest, spontaneous, experimentation of different things, and energy level etc) ? 2. Why is it when your married those things mentioned above
  4. I've been trying to block out the range of emotions I have been feeling over the past couple days, but I finally realize that just typing this out may be therapeutic in a way. I apologize for the length, there is a lot of information here. Anyways, on to the information: My wife and I are highschool sweethearts. We've been together since 2002 and we've never been with anyone else. My wife had a rough childhood. Her parents separated when she was 4-5 years old and she lived with her mother who had a lot of emotional issues, and was very much mentally abusive to her. She coped with the abus
  5. I’m looking for some advice here please.. my partner is going through divorce and Nearly there. hes in the process of removing his ex wife off the title of the home he’s now living in. He wants me to move in I said I would after it’s been settled. I’m having doubts because he has 2 big dogs he lets inside all the time or one barks at the door. The dogs are sniffing around for food all the time, we eat in the lounge room and they come up close to you and stare one of them so close you have to protect your plate. I’m going to start eating alone in the kitchen. He lets them on the couch pats and
  6. I have a journal thread that rambles on about family things, but I wanted to try to get advice here with a specific post about an issue. My FIL is pushing for my husband and his brother to go to counseling because after our last baby's birth, he found out my BIL and his wife weren't acknowledging our kids for years now (we've never said anything about it for years so I guess he just didn't realize). He also wants the wives to go, but my SIL refuses, I also really do not think this would be a good idea. The issue really isn't about them fixing their brother-to-brother relationship,
  7. I think he plays a roll in our fights, as well as me - we tend to trigger each other’s anxieties when we fight. But I feel a majority is me. I get this ocd anxiety whenever I’m in a long term relationship and I’ve let it ruin too many of them. If I can just get a handle on this we could get to a different place. We had something, and I don’t want to walk away without knowing that I tried everything and fought for it. It sounds so dumb looking back - one morning on the trip, he showed me a video on Facebook where a guy walked up to someone and said “now that’s a big pile of !”..and the per
  8. So I just left a really awesome guy, he has caring, loving and attentive to me. That was never the problem, the problem was that he lied from the very beginning about how involved his ex wife is in his life. I helped him pick a house to move into in my city - thinking we’d be moving in together. Instead he informs me that his ex-wife will be moving in. He didn’t consult with me, or made sure I was okay with it and made the decision behind my back. So not only did he lie to me, he deferred to his ex and actually took her side against me all the time. Needless to say, I broke it off pretty
  9. After 8 years of marriage me and the wife decided we’d had our very last fight. We both love each other very much but the LOVE has ended, if you know what I’m getting at. We've realized that we’re two very different people that should never have gotten married in the first place as it’s been a cascade of smaller and some serious arguments since the beginning. The biggest problem that we’ve had is that I’m a person that always had to resolve the problem immediately and to talk it over until we were “friends” again, however my wife always escaped into our bedroom and refused to talk whenever we’
  10. Two weeks ago, the man I've been in love with--and having a relationship with--admitted he is married. This was not an entirely surprising admission. When I first started seeing "Robert" two years ago, he told me he was divorced but that he "took care of" his ex-wife. She was a decade older than him, a recovering alcoholic, and they married after she began the process of emigrating to the US from Mexico. As he explained it, this made their long relationship seem one that was bound by his feelings of obligation to her for helping him become a US citizen and, in exchange, he promised she w
  11. One of my co worker was married to another woman for few years when i stated working with him..Then his wife left him and is not pregnant with another man. They are divorced now. As soon as his wife left him, he started pursing me but i was not interested. So I told him that I'm not available. I was not in relationship with anyone but I was casually dating. I thought that would be the end of that. periodically he started joking saying he will wait for until I am single. after a while he would ignore the fact that I told him that I'm not single and tried to message me outside work but would a
  12. My wife recently admitted to me about her kissing another man. The guy she kissed they knew each other growing up. They started talking through Facebook and turned into a every day thing checking up on one another. She went out with some friends girls night out. They were at a bar and happened to see him there. Her fiend left and she stuck around and hung out with him. As they were saying good bye he kissed her and she didn’t stop him. She explained it was a quick peck on the lips. The next day she change her number and deactivated her Facebook and never spoke to him again. What should I make
  13. We have been sleeping together for three years. For a year now he has asking me if I am in love with him and I said no every time. Several times he accidentally said he loves me(I mean on purpose to see my reaction)but I did not answer anything so ce corrected himself. Two months ago he asked me again if I love him, I said yes. He was suspicious but he also said he loves me. That I am his love. He kept asking me why I did not want to be his girlfriend, to be in a relationship. We saw each other one night, we drank a couple of drinks. He told me he loves me. While we were together he asked me
  14. I’ve been with my wife for about 6 years. We have a beautiful daughter that is a year old. She is the light of my life, and my real reason for getting up everyday. My marriage has gone so downhill in the past year. It’s not even a marriage, it’s a joke. We fight and bicker everyday about the dumbest things. We’ve had a lot of money issues lately which doesn’t help. We’ve had sex one time in the past year, and any time I’ve initiated anything she’s rejected it. The worst part is the abuse that I’ve endured. This wasn’t a thing until this past year. If things go south and we argue she hit
  15. Ok so I just want to say, my wife is tattoo friendly and I already have a tattoo. I have a video game related tattoo already and she has known for years that they have been a huge part of my life and my social development. An artist that I follow on Instagram posted in their story saying they wanted to do a super Mario related tattoo for free and asked who was in. I messaged them as a shot in the dark (this was two hours after they posted and I was sure it was gone) and I won it. They messaged me and asked if I wanted a blue shell tattoo and I said “I would love that!” My wife was already in b
  16. Over a year ago I became friend with a widower and his kids. He has 4 kids whose ages range from 4-13 and I love spending time with them playing ...The dad lost his wife from cancer over 2 years ago. As he kept inviting me I developed feelings for him ( I am also very attached to his kids). I decided to let him know about my feelings and told him face to face and went straight to the point !! ( he got scared and said he could not see himself in a relationship that he was off), I understood but then he called me back and told me that even if he was not ready for a relationship now in the futur
  17. Hello all, I have previously received some beautiful advice and compassion from this site, so am drawn to return and gain some insights. The last time I was on this site, I was recovering from the breakup of a three-year relationship. One of my friends (whom I'd 'met' on a meditation forum online, but who lived in America whereas I live in the UK) helped me through this breakup tremendously, encouraging me to look after myself and doing healing work. This friend, who we'll call Neil, was going through the separation of his marriage of 27 years, so he told me. He didn't go into great dep
  18. To start I married someone from Vietnam. I knew her for 5 years, met here in Vietnam to propose, and brought her here then married her. When she came here she knew she would live with my parents. While I work on and fix a house next door. My parents need me to stay with them to help financially. We had an argument and my parents joined in. Now she is staying at her relatives saying she will not return to this house. She wants us to get an apartment together. I told her that my parents won’t be able to afford this place and it not like we would be living in the same house once the o
  19. Hello there everybody I am new here and in need of your advice; We are attending Couples Counselling right now; The issue now is that until four months ago we were both meting this person and having a chat with this third person until four months ago when I noticed that they were using me as a back up insurance as his wife was warning me about how close they were getting; When I noticed my wife detaching from other friends and family and solely following this third person I retracted and warned my wife that I was losing her; He is working as a Manager and according to my wife he gives her
  20. Hello, Thanks for taking the time to read. I am a 40 year old man, married with a 6 year old. I have a teenage son from a previous relationship, whom I have had bonding issues with, but have regularly seen at weekends since he was 2. Career wise, I have been fairly steady, if unspectacular, in jobs with reasonable levels of responsibility (e.g. middle management). Altho generally I think I could do better to match some of my peers, I'm begining to show some signs of more improvement. Generally, I am fit and healthy, I think, and do plenty of exercise and (on the whole, perhaps) eat ok.
  21. My wife and I have had twins, great! They are a joy and almost a year. We brought them home to London two weeks ago to meet the grandparents (all covid tested etc). She didn't drink or smoke during the pregnancy at all, I was very proud. Now she is drinking at least 2-3 bottles of wine every evening. Its a nightmare she changes into a compete B**** and is very insulting. Previously her mother had mentioned that perhaps she was drinking to much and the agreed a few glasses (two) a night should be the max. Back in London she got drunk and had a massive fight with her mum and stormed off with
  22. Here is my story. I got married into a big family about 8 years ago. The first couple years went well. Typical stuff, watching football games and getting together with family and in-laws. We moved into a home. I had step daughter that was understanding of me and we got along. She usually had butted heads with her mom. We lived in a decent neighborhood. All went normal and well within the first few years. Although my wife always was hot tempered and curses a lot. This gradually increased and got worst as the years went on. I find it disrespectful and verbally abusive. At one point
  23. Help, I'm trapped in a wonderful marriage! I joke but this is what it amounts to and it has become incredibly hard and I'm desperately unhappy. I will add context below on how this all happened but here's the tldr version: - Been together 18 years, married for maybe 13, with kids. - My wife is fantastic. My best friend, a great mother to our kids, a great business partner (that's how tied together we are). An amazing person. - We get on great, never argue and we try to be good parents (mostly, we're successful at it). - Romantic love is not there. It's long gone. No passion, barely any
  24. Hello Everyone, Been married a little over 7 years. I started noticing changes in my wife when she started a new job back in June of last year, working late, dressing different, guarding her phone. To make a long story short, my wife now spends more time with her new boss than she does with me. There have been at least 2 different incidents where I caught them doing what I consider to be flirting (she disagrees) and she even gave him a very expensive watch for Christmas. (she's never given me a watch) They text after work and at all hours of the night, I've even caught her texting
  25. So a few weeks ago, I met someone online and we immediatly hit it off. Just having a really good time together, playing games, after a while even flirting with each other at times and that lead to us sexting and sending photos as well. We have agreed that it's just as good friends and that he doesn't want me to hold myself available for him as he lives on the other side of the world. He as also reassured me that we will still be friends when I get a boyfriend and I won't be able to do all the extra sexting stuff with him anymore because of that. He messages me a lot, even during times I expect
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