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  1. If you could have any one super power, what would it be? Mine would be the ability to stop time. Isn't that the one thing I always hear myself saying, thinking, feeling? If only I had more time. Isn't that the wish on everyone's tongue tip? So okay, new found power, say you happen, I know the moral of the day is that I'll end up wasting you on trivial s**t, but sometimes I just need to gather my thoughts and collect myself. Life is fast and it only seems to be getting faster. One day I was 16 and all I could think about was the endless currency of precious time I had to spend. It was so undervalued. I'd do nothing with it. Spend it in bed, spend it online, spend it daydreaming. The only thing that's changed is the first part - hello new early riser - goodbye I've got forever so let's just chill and things will happen next year. Now I wake up 24 having to think if I'm actually well into my twenties or just getting started so I still have the excuse of 'but I'm young!' I'm getting married in two and a bit weeks time, things are changing but I feel the same. I need more time! More time to plan, more time to get myself sorted, more time to figure out what I want and need to do before it's too late, before I say I went to sleep 24, newly wed and woke up 36 and aching with the feeling - I could of done so much more, if only I had more time. If I could use my magic power only once, it would be for the most selfish reason. I would pause time whilst D holds me. Those moments where you wake up on Sunday morning to cool sheets, drizzly weather, grey sky peeking through the blinds and his arm around you. I would want that feeling forever, his chest moving up and down, his mouth open in deep sleep, like my own personal statue of beauty and everything I've ever wanted and more. When I wake up in his arms nothing else matters. Okay, now this daydreamer has to walk herself to the office and put the dreams and the day on hold. Daydream in your own time, the world will not stop for me and time waits for no man. I just want to get through this week of dreary work, I just want to have the courage to not wimp out and run from my problems. I'm starting this diary because I guess I start a lot of things that I feel like, but I really badly want to keep this one up. I don't even think it's made me feel better. More last minute planning tomorrow. I have a day out to a bohemian cocktail bar with my fiancé and best friend at the weekend - we're choosing wedding rings. I can't wait to be his wife, that's all I keep thinking, through all the drudge and ridiculous planning - I can't wait to be his wife. Write you later, Lo x
  2. My family has just moved...while I invested a lot of time and energy in the move beforehand, afterwards I just didn't have the strength to work on the place. I went back to work, and tried to help out in the evenings. In the past couple of days, my wife just exploded: I'm nasty to her friends, my mother is an evil witch and I take no responsibility for anything. So she says. She's gotten completely hysterical, and even her sisters say she's gone totally irrational. When I asked her why she stays with me (yes - we've gotten that far), she says that she loves me, and that I have certain characteristics that she knows she can't find anywhere else. But she acts in a way that is seriously endangering her chances of enjoying those characteristics for much longer... In any case, I understand what she wants - to know that I am there for her, that I am behind her all the way...but I don't know how to convince her that I am. No matter what I do. it's just not good enough, it's "cosmetic"' I'm just doing it to avoid conflict. So - any ideas how I can convince her I am behind her?
  3. My wife was a victim of a emotional manipulator over Internet last year, someone who could make you feel guilty about breathing! He has a sixth sense for knowing what buttons to press to get you to do what he wants and has little or no reguard for others' feelings. The consequences of his attentions on my wife led to an adultery which seriously threatened our marriage. What are your experiences of this sort of person? What tricks do they use and what sorts of alarm signals should be looked for? Guilt and implicit blackmail seemed to play big time in his tactics, but what else do they use to manipulate more innocent and naiive people?
  4. A friend of mine has 2 children, 1 of his own and 1 from a previous relationship that his wife had. His wife has been unfaithful to him multiple times with multiple partners. He was playing the house-husband when all of this was going on and she was out sewing her oats. They have been married for 3 years. The question I have.. Is there a limit to trying to work it out.. IMO 1 act of infidelity is hard enough to patch it up.. but numerous acts.. how can it survive.. how could counseling fix that many lapse of judgments? I think the "staying together for the children" is played out and crap. It doesn't excuse what people do. comments?
  5. My wife and I have recently separated after 18 years. She was upset when a counselor, who told her after she had called him to talk about me once again, said that she needed to begin to work on her stuff (he suggested sexual counseling with another counselor) as he gave me several books to read and I have done everything he has suggested. She was so mad that she felt that I had persuaded him to be on "my side" (I have always been on OUR side). I know this sounds confusing but let me say where we are now. When we first separated (4 months ago) I became so upset that I couldn't sleep. I began to have a couple of drinks at bedtime. This turned into 4-5. I have since stopped drinking. At first she said that was one of the reasons she wanted to separate. Now that I am not drinking that isn't the reason anymore. BTW, there have been no affairs. She just finished her degree after going back to school. We have had some problems in the sexual area; she saying her sex drive was low. (I am trying to cover a lot of info here). Anyway, I think that I may have been too clingy (she has told me this) and she is VERY independent. I truly want to win her back but the more I tell her I love her the more she seems to pull back. For now I am not calling her or emailing her. I hope all of this makes sense! Thanks for any advice
  6. I have been married for 2 years and together for 7 before that. About 4 months ago I cheated on my wife with a girl who was nothing more than a drunk. I have been an alcoholic for about the past seven years. When I have gotten drunk I said mean and nasty things to my wife. Never name calling but derogatory and harmfull comments. Since the break up after the cheating episode I have been sober for 4 1/2 months, spent over $1000.00 on therapy and have been completley honest in any conversations that I've had with her and anyone concerning my life with her. We never spoke for about 2 months and then started speaking everyday for about a month , about having children, what happened how to deal and get over it etc. I moved back In for about 10 days and everything was fine and then I came home from work one day and she said she wanted me out and was not happy and couldn't do "this" anymore. The days before this she was telling me she loves me and talking about babbies and having sex with me.I have had no contact with her except for a few conversations about legal seperation. When I ask her about filing for legal seperation as far as dates and things go she just say's "what do you think"? She knows I don't want to get a divorce and she's never come right out and asked for one. It's as if she is pushing me to do all the serious stuff against my will. She and my sister were very close and she was a faboulous aunt to my 3 nieces and nephews and I asked her not to "write them off" over my foolish horrible mistake and she said that she's not but no one has heard from her for 4 weeks. Her friends and father hate me now (not that I blame them) and are a great influence on her decision making. I told my wife that there would come the time where I would have to face her parents and other loved ones whom i've hurt and disappointed and try to make things right again, but her father just said "not a f*&$%ing chance!!" HE has constantly been sticking his nose in our lives the whole length of our relationship. He has cheated on his own wife numerous times also and my wife knows this., but she still seems to value his opinion more than anything. I have this constant feeling that there is more to this whole episode than meets the eye. I figure if you want to try and see if you can get over the infedelity, lets try marriage councilling. She wont. I guess she just may want out and has the excuse now that she doesn't look like the bad girl. Thats important to her because she constantly cares what people think. After I sobered up I truly have seen the value of my wife and want so many things with her to put the smile on her face everyday. I have so much regret and shame for what I did and the way that I acted I don't know that I can ever get over it, I am soo sorry for what I did to her. People say I am beating myself up about it too much. She has been out every night since and seems not to be taking it very hard. I am devestated!!! I can't help but feel that I have this new outlook and perspective on the thing that should have been done in our relationship but fear it's simply too late. I have committed 100% to living for our marriage, I only wish I could have been sober enough before this all happened. I've always said I would never cheat on her and truly believed I wouldn't until I got drunk one night and it happened. She's kicked me out before years ago because of the drinking and the whole scenario kinda fells the same. No contact and then 3 months later we're back together fo 2 weeks, everything is good and then BOOM.....out the door again. Please lend me some insight , I feel that no man has enough rope to climb that mountain when the friends and father are against you. I just don't know how honest she's being with herself. She's very vague, and never gives the difinitive YES or NO answers. She has never went to councilling throughout this whole thing and will not consider it. I also would like to know how you deal with the fact that someone else will soon be doing the day-to-day things and sleeping with your wife. I just can't seem to deal with it. I guess I got exactly what I deserved
  7. how does one build their self confidence. I have always had a problem with my own slef image. everyone that knows thinks I'm crazy, I have a great job, my own house, and everything materialistic one could want. deep down I know i'm a goodlooking guy...or my friends girlfriends and wives wouldn't want to hook me up with their firends. I'm in good shape, love the gym, and it does show....but.......i still see myself as a loser. I see myself as unattractive, unintelligent, not funny...ect...ect....ect.....how do I get that crap out of my head.....and see what others see. deep down I know I've got a hell of alot goin for me....but....I can't see it....and it holds me back, and makes me very shy. how does one get these bad slef images out of their head??......I'm willing to try pretty much anything.
  8. I know that for many of you you have been on this forum have read numerous times about "the other woman".. I also have read all of the other girls, and what they did and the responces gave to them.. but I still seem to have this nagging part in my brain saying "it'll work for me".. Here's my problem: I am completely totally in love with a married man. I knew that he was married when I met him. He was my boss at work.. we barely spoke to each other.. I thought that he was gorgeous, but would never ever say anything to him.. until one day I looked over at him and he looked at me, and I just knew.. I had to tell him. So I did. I sat down with him at work at we talked for 5 hours non stop... and then the next day we did the same thing. He goes out of town a lot... he owns many business that he has to travel to and make sure are running correctly.. put people in their places, check on paperwork, collect money.. that kind of stuff. After two weeks of constantly talking inside of work and outside (he usually only work on Fridays and Saturdays, but started working almost everyday) he invited me to travel with him to one of the cities that he had to go to.. I said no because I wasn't really sure it was a good thing to do.. after all he was married. . and everyone that I worked with knew his wife, she use to work at the same place. Two weeks later, after continuing to talk constantly he asks me again.. I agree and go. No sex, just complete relaxation and awesome conversation and all around wonderful time.. I got to see him outside of work life which was very different.. good different.. he is very loving and adoring and just perfect. Months later we were still doing the same thing, talking all the time, he would come see me at my place everyday after the gym and I would see him at work or after I got off of work at a club. Out town is very small and everyone knows everyone so when they saw us out together (although not overly affectionate) of corse started talking.. we both denied anything happening. Months later I fell in love with him.. everything about him I loved, his faults and strenghs. We had talked numerous times about him and his wife and family (he has a 14 year old from a previous relationship that he's always had custody of, and a two year old from his current) and he would say how his wife is beautiful, a wonderful mother to their child, sweet and intelligent but they met at the wrong place. He said that when they met they both were into partying a lot.. and that they never really got to see each other true sides besides the times they were partying. So when they got married and decided to stop partying they found out that they don't compate well with each other... she is Russian and I guess from what I have heard about them from many people, not just him.. they aren't very affectionate at all.. and that's what he said was the only thing that was missing... she didn't know how to be affectionate and did want to learn how and didn't want him to be.. but they were before because of the scene they were in. The only reason that he says he's afraid to leave is because of him children. I completely understand.. if I had children I might forget what I wanted out of the relationship to have the children be with their father. The 14 year old and the two year old have formed a bond that children do and he would hate to break it.. plus she has mentioned that she would clean him out if they ever did break up.. he is very sucessful and she wouldn't sign a pre-nup. (I would sign a pre-nup because I don't want him money, or property.. just him). So now I am left with this.. I seriously without a doubt 110% completely love him... completely support him in any decision he makes... whether it is to be with me or not.. you can not stress about things that you can not control. We have also talked many times about our trust.. since we've started out not being honest to his wife (and I have meet her on a many occasions, very nice very pretty) I wondered like everyone else how I could trust him even if we did rise above everyone else and stayed together.. and we came to an agreement and understanding. I just wonder what's going to happen.. whether he is going to end up divorcing her or not. He has said many times that she is definitally not happy because she says it all the time.. from what I hear at work from her friends, she says they are about to get a divorce. . honestly I think she is definitally cheating because she has everything she wants, doesn't have to work, is young and has a husband that travels 3 weeks out of the month.. she is seen all around town with other men. They just need to divorce.. and move on. ... their children will be fine as long as he doesn't move far away (we've talked about moving into a house right down the road) and the children still see each other. I kinda just want some feedback. Sorry this was so long!!!
  9. well it is real and my wife of 20 years has lost all feelings for me over the past seven months. We no longer sleep together and there is no physical contact at all. She has lost all feeling of love or desire for me and has no idea as to why this has happened. She feels that she must be honest and act on her feelings and what she wants or at least feels she wants is to live alone with our three kids. But the reality is that our kids have no idea of how bad things are as we still get along well as a unit. So we have avoided telling them as to what is happening until she is sure as to what we do next. My wife has being reviewing her life and feels that her needs and desires were never met, she does not know as to why she could not voice her needs, she says that she simply got on with her life and was too afraid to share them with me. So she kept all this locked away and now it seems it has burst open. We talk and talk, we have gone to couple counselling but it was of little use. My wife has been unhappy for the past 18 months, she realises this now but was unable to understand why.I feel that her unhappiness lies within her and our relationship is mearly a focus on which she can vent her anger. She ask for time, time in which she can reflect and try and see if we have a future. Is 7 months to be considered enough time. I have a very simplistic view in that if she wants to be with me then why can't she at least sleep with me and start from there, but she cannot bring herself to share a bed with me.The other option is for her to seek this new life away from me and share custody of the kids I hope you can make some sense from this, I am at a total loss, I love my wife, we got on so well together but we never argued, we never had any difference of opinion, she held it all back as she was concerned about hurting me and my feelings. There is no other party involved, it might has been simpler if there was, at least then I would understand why she was feelign the way she does. Can she be experiencing a midlife crisis (43)where she questions all aspects of her life or has she simply fallen out of love with me.
  10. I have been married for 2 years and together for 7 before that. About 4 months ago I cheated on my wife with a girl who was nothing more than a drunk. I have been an alcoholic for about the past seven years. When I have gotten drunk I said mean and nasty things to my wife. Never name calling but derogatory and harmfull comments. Since the break up after the cheating episode I have been sober for 4 1/2 months, spent over $1000.00 on therapy and have been completley honest in any conversations that I've had with her and anyone concerning my life with her. We never spoke for about 2 months and then started speaking everyday for about a month , about having children, what happened how to deal and get over it etc. I moved back In for about 10 days and everything was fine and then I came home from work one day and she said she wanted me out and was not happy and couldn't do "this" anymore. The days before this she was telling me she loves me and talking about babbies and having sex with me.I have had no contact with her except for a few conversations. She and my sister were very close and she was a faboulous aunt to my 3 nieces and nephews and I asked her not to "write them off" over my foolish horrible mistake and she said that she's not but noone has heard from her for 4 weeks. Her friends and father hate me now (not that I blame them) and are a great influence on her decision making. after I sobered up I truly have seen the value of my wife and want so many things with her to put the smile on her face everyday. I have so much regret and shame for what I did and the way that I acted I don't know that I can ever get over it. People say I am beating myself up about it too much. She has been out every night since and seems not to be taking it very hard. I am devestated!!! I can't help but feel that I have this new outlook and perspective on the thing that should hve been done in our relationship but fear it's simply too late. I have committed 100% to living for our marriage, I only wish I could have been sober enough before this all happened. I've always said I would never cheat on her and truly believed I wouldn't until I got drunk one nighyt and it happened. She's kicked me out before years ago because of the drinking and the whole scenario kinda fells the same. No contact and then 3 months later we're back together. Please lend me some insight , I feel that no man has enough rope to climb that mountain when the friends and father are against you. I just don't know how honest she's being with herself. She's very vague, and never gives the difinitive YES or NO answers. She has never went to councilling throughout this whole thing and will not consider it. I also would like to know how you deal with the fact that someone else will soon be doing the day-to-day things and sleeping with your wife. I just can't seem to deal with it. I guess I got exactly what I deserved.
  11. I'm 33 and male. separated from my wife since January. I met a girl who is 30 and divorced and we started dating right after I split with my wife. Well I fell totally in love with her. And we hit it off great.. The best sex of my life and hers so she says. And that it was so much more than sex. We feel so comfortable together, like we have known each other for our whole lives. Theres no insecurity with each other and we were able to share all of our darkest and saddest thoughts and experiences. Time went on and I began to feel that she was hitting a boundary, and she agreed that she has walls up to keep her heart safe. So we went around this issue. Many times I decided to walk away but try as I did I was not able to do it. She would call or I would and ww would end up back in the same spot. Me with huge feelings and her being skeptical, etc. So we decided that we had moved so quick and that she just could not deal with me being in love with her as much as I am but that she wanted to keep it there because she feels something that she hasn't felt with anyone. So we did this. Now understand since my seperation and that i have filed for divorce I am fnacially wrecked. Moved in with my brother and am trying to find a new job.. So we agreed to slow down and we did. We spent quality time together on dates and she had changed.. She became much more affectionate and closer. Then I went away for a few weeks with the military and we were both so homesick. And we agreed that things were finally progressing the way they should be. So I got back a few weeks ago and we went out, spent a few nghts together, had some drinks and dinner with friends. All seemed well. The out of the blue she tells me that we cannot see each other anymore.. For a few months anyway. SO I see shes back at the whole boundary thing again and she starts to cry, so do I and i'm so devastated because shes not budgig on this. So we go round and round crying and talking and she says tyhat she is not ready to be in love and that she loves me but isn't in love with me and that it is because she has these walls up that she cannot control and that she needs me to give her time to sort all of this out alobe, away from any influence of me or us. And that she cannot live with herself knowing how much I love her and me giving that to her while she is back and forth with it for me. And she goes on how she doesn't want to be like this but she cannot help it and it scares her that she is gonna regret cutting me loose and hate sthat she and I will not be together, etc. But she says she just can't do it, she's not ready and needs time. So we agree to take some time off, away from each other. For me to get back into my life in a positive way and for her to try to resolve these commitment problems and find if she can fall in love with me. SO she asks me to let go, for her, and to wait a while, come back and find her again and see hwat happens and see if we can make a go of it. She cannot promise that this will pan ouyt but she wants to keep this a possibility. I have no choice but to agree. So it's been a couple weeks now and we have not spoken. I got an email last week saying how much this means to her that I am giving her this time and that it was the best thing I could have done for her. I have spoken with her best friend and asked for adfvice and she says that I should not give up hope but that i should understna that she cannot give a commitment. This girl went through a pretty rough marriage and divorce. She still tries to make excuses for things that had happened. I don't know what to do in regards to this time... Should I give up and never contact her? Wait the next 6 weeks or so and call like she wants? I love her and i have only been in love once before and it wasn't my wife. I do not want to lose this woman and feel so out of control now. I am ready to give up hope. I just don't know what to do. Some of my friends say she will come around as soon as she realizes that she's throwing away a good thing and gets past her commitment fears, others tell me to chalk it up as experience and move on, I just don't know...
  12. My wife and I have been married for 3 years. We dated for two years prior to getting married. She has one son from a previous relationship (never married) and I have no children of my own. When we first got together, we had sex as often as possible. Obviously, this is not an easy thing to do when you have a 4 year old boy with you. We would only have sex when we found someone to take care of him for the evening. When we were able to be alone and intimate, it was three or four times a day. From what I gather, this is fairly normal as well. People that just get together are very active. In the beginning, she was not able to have an orgasm. She claimed that she had never had an orgasm with any partner. Being an attentive and careing lover, I wanted to help her overcome that. When we finally got to the point that she could have an orgasm with me at the controls, our sex life took a dramatic drop. Her desire went to an all-time low. She claimed that it was because she was actually being satisfied now and didn't need it as much. However, when we tried having sex in the morning without her having an orgasm and plan to do it again that evening, she wouldn't be interested. For the last 3 years, sex has been once a week on rare occasions and more often than not, less than that. We have not had additional children so that is not a factor. For a brief period, just after she stopped taking birth control pills, she was full of desire. We had sex almost every night and she was very experimental. That lasted about two months and went right back to her having a low drive. We have spoken about the lack of her sexual desire many times. It always ends up the same way. She says she does not know what is wrong, will try harder, we have one or two good nights and then right back where we are now. Is this normal and I am just being an inconsiderate "horn dog" or is there some problem I am overlooking? I don't think the problem is infidelity on her part. Certainly not on my part. Could it be that she is just not interested in me? Is it wrong to consider leaving the relationship because of sex? Any advice would be appreciated.
  13. Ladies or gentleman. I am completely dumbfounded with my wifes fantasy. We have been married for 13 years and we have had our ups and downs but for the most part we are very, very comunicative. She surprised me today with a request for a threesome... with another male. What gets me is that I was NOT offended. (Is that possible?) She later confessed to me that she has always wanted to try this. I became somewhat defensive and asked her if she ever did this kind of thing before. She said absolutely NOT. But, nonetheless... She wants to be with someone she can take home from a nightclub with me. She further stated that she wants me to be there with her. I thought I would be angry but after a week thinking about this... I'm not. I think it would be erotic to let her be "her"! Should I go through this? Apart from this... (It continues)... She has a desire to be with a younger man that is uncircumsized. Woah! We are both 35 years old. I totally trust her and I have been faithfull all these years and she has been also. Any female perspectives on this?
  14. It seems like a lot of you on here said you would want to know if your husband was having an affair... but if I do tell her, what do I say? I'm not trying to beat anyone down about this subject, I just dont have anyone else to turn to because I am embarrassed for being such a fool. You can look at my previous posts to know the full story, but if I were to call his wife what should I say? Thanks to anyone who helps out... Oh yeah, she lives 3 states away so I would have to call her using a phone card which means she couldn't find out my real # if I didn't want her to...
  15. I found out yesterday through a anonymous phone call that my Fiancé had cheated on me at a work function of hers. She apparently drove away with one guy whom is married and then had unprotected sex.The person whom called was the wife of the guy because he came clean with her a week afterwards. After confronting her yesterday and asking she said that it`s false but then I got the guy and his wife on the phone who confirm this and then my fiancé said that it was true and that she wouldn't have told me because she feels embarrassed about this. She did this once before with one of my mates , I forgave them both and gave her a second chance. It is really difficult for me because we share a car to get to work which we both pay and share a allot of things and stay togher.If she moves out she will have to get a appartment.What should my steps be , can I trust a person like this again because her excuse is that she was drunk like the last time ? Help me with a answer today..please.I am a very hurt man
  16. I have co-worker name Tom. Tom is 30 years old which he is marry and has son. I am 22 years with no kids or marry. I went over Tom's house and his family was upstairs and we were in their living room downstairs. He made move on me and now I think he is in love with me bc he willnt leave me alone. I wasn't feeling good that night he took advangtage of me. While his family was upstairs. He keeps calling me and everything. He and his wife is having major problems this is just to put the icing on the cake. I thought he was really nice and cute until i found out he was marry marry guyz are hands off. i think he wants to be with me but sorry i dont want to be with you once cheater always cheater. I had to work with him the next day when he did that to me he was asking me if i was ok and if i was ok with everything. and i should come over his house again. he is cheating on his wife. I dont think its right. but he is my co-worker what should i do? Plus guyz @ this age doesn't like partying like 22 years girl like to do. There is no way. There is 8 years age difference.
  17. About 2 years ago I was married and 1 year ago I had a baby boy. Before I was married I was in amazing shape. I was 6 feet 4 inches, and weighed about 220 lbs. I was not fat, but I worked out a lot. I had an amazing body, big arm muscles and great abs. Once I got married I started working out less and less, but I still kept in decent condition, although I gained about 10 lbs of fat. One year ago I had a son, and I decided to stay home with him while my wife worked. Now one year later, I am 6 feet 4 inches, 356 lbs. I have lost all my muscle and put on the most amount of weight I have ever seen anyone put on. While my wife was working I would stay home with out son, so I found myself working out less and less, and spening more time inside with my son. I'm not sure what happened, I knew I was putting on weight and my wife would joke about how I was getting a little tubby. But lately I have become much more aware of what I have become. My wife was a bit heavy when we started the marriage, and she has put on about 70 pounds. Now I find both of us rapidly gaining weight, and I find myself no longer doing any exercise. I recently went to see my brother for the first time in nearly a year (He lives in another country) and he was amazed at what happened to me! He was in even better shape than I was 2 years ago, and still in the same shape today. When he saw me he just gawked at me until he realized that that was rewally me. I felt so akward standing there 120 olbs heavier than last time we met. Now I know that this extra weight is very bad for my health, but the thing is that I don't mind having it at all. To me it is perfectly fine, and to be honest I like the way my wife looks much better now becuase ever since High School I had a "thing" for heavier women. But since out health is at risk, I feel that no matter how I feel about this weight I need to get back in shape, or atleast lose some of my weight. So my question is this: What is a good way for me to lose my new weight while I am staying with my son? I could use all the help I can get, so thank you in advance.
  18. my bf just recently got a divorce from his wife. After he got his divorce we moved in together now i have become a big secret. He doesn't want his family or friends to know that he has a girlfriend so soon after he divorced his wife. I'm not allowed to answer the phone only the calls that I receive from my family and friends. I have only met one of his friends. I never get to see the phone bills or any of his mail it's all locked up in a safe. We live an hour from his ex-wife and I'm only allowed to do things with him in the town we live in. He wasn't like this before because i lived far away from him and we had a long distant relationship so everything was fine. But know that I live with him things just keep getting weirder and weirder and I think It's strange to be in a relationship for so long and not meet his family or his friends.
  19. Hi folks- Need a little help here, because I don't know how to feel about something like this. I have a friend of mine who I've known for close to 7 years, so I've always been close to their family. We did everything together. Recently, they've been having problems in their marriage, in which his wife had an affair with another woman, moved out, the whole thing. They've been married for 23 years. Right now, they're separated-- but not legally. We all still hang out together, but more and more him and I have been talking. I know he's going through a hard time right now, and his wife is really trying to get him to 'understand' why she did what she did. He just doesn't get it. I have chosen to not get involved in their disputes or whatever, because I love them both dearly and I care for them as my friends... I respect their own business. He told me just the other night when we all were hanging out that he feels he just needs to move on... Its a healthy decision that he's come to by himself. I do care about him, and don't want to see him get hurt. I am only 23, and he is 43. I realize that a relationship is out of the question, as we have way too much to lose to do that. We've only just breifly mentioned it on Sunday... I am finding that I'm thinking about him all the time, even dreaming and fantasizing about him. I'm not certain these feelings that I have, in 7 years never had them before... Is there something wrong with me? Am I just feeling a chemical imbalance--? Or could this be something? Like I said, a relationship would probably never happen, but at this rate, I'm feeling there is a strong possibility that we might sleep together...? Help!?!? How do I control these feelings? My friends have told me its perfectly normal to feel that way, regardless of age-- but I still need some extra assurance on what these feelings mean....?!!
  20. I have been with a married guy for 5 yrs. Before everyone has a go at me i know i was wrong. In the beginning i didnt care about his wife because i listened to him when he told me she didnt understand him and i pitied her for the way her husband behaved. 5 yrs down the line i am a complete broken mess. I fell in love with this guy like never before. I am 34 he is 49. Out of the blue he told me he cant take the double life anymore and is ending it. That was yesterday. I begged him to stay on whatever terms but he wouldnt. We have split before on around 5 occasions and all times got back together. He always said we were meant to be together. I feel hes lying. Why??? Well if he can lie to his wife for years (oh and he has a secret son too she doesnt know about and god knows how many others things hidden that have happened while they have been married) but i feel he has replaced me. He may be 49 but sex kept us together and he loves sex. He claims his wife didnt. I dont know. I am broken up and feel sick, cant eat and cant sleep. I want to go to his house and mess up his life like hes done to me. I wont be tossed aside like trash. Please be honest but kind in your replies. Thanks. Marina.
  21. My wife of 10 years and I are about to embark on our first planned Male-Female-Female threesome and want to make sure we do not ruin our marriage or friendship with our girlfriend whom will be involved. We have set down guidelines and have discussed what we all expect. We have conversed about what we will accept and not. We have set up rules as to our involvement with others outside of the threesome and we have all agreed that it would be safest to practice the safest of sex. All individuals are part of the initiating force and are supporting the decision to move forward. So as best laid plans often fall apart, we want to make sure we have covered all the bases. Please share with us your feelings, concerns, experiances, and advice in this arena. We are new to it and want to be smart rather than regretful.
  22. I have known my wife for more than 25 yrs, Married 23yrs! this yrs. Like most marriages there have been bad & good. For a good part,but not all she has been unable to get out of the house. suffering years of unfare anxity, panic attacks and a general inability to live what most people would call a "normal life" what ever normal means. So she has had it bad.My life went on but i always made it around our problem, because as husband and wife( for better and worse ) it was our problem and i did and still love her. Four weeks ago I ask her is everything ok, ok between us. Her reply has taken me to lows I never could exist. As a "MAN" i thought i can handle most if not all situations that came way.Wrong wrong wrong! My heart actually feels like it is being ripped out. my hands shake.I can't sleep without takeing Tablets and then i'm up at three in the morning. So here I am pooring my life story out to who? for what? Life stinks & Love stinks. How can u Love & Hate someone in equal messures.
  23. During sex with my wife I fantasize about other women. Not all the time but here lately quite a bit. Usually these fantasies are sexual memories from my early teen years but recently I have been having thoughts of sleeping with my mother in law. Although she is 67 she is one fine looking women. Great shape and the experience that comes with age I feel she would be one wild role in the hay. Strange or what?
  24. As many of you know I came to this site a few months back longing for a sense of reality, to know that I was NOT ALONE as the site is entitled. And found that i was not. i have in a short period of time made what i hope are some life long friends..... but also learned that there IS a time and place to stand up for yourself and to take action that puts your life back into your control again. I have done that.. 2.5 weeks ago I moved out and into a friends house after a 20 year marriage. I have to admit the actual moving out was the toughest things i'd ever done. I'm a quiet guy who tends to let people run over him especially a domineering wife... and i finally had all i could take. Dont think i'm not aware that in this 20 years i'm not made my share of mistakes.. I HAVE..... and I might could have done things along the way to prevent this.... but i'm alone. So could she have. The communications have totally broken down and i dont see it being repaired. Even she would like it because of $$$. Isn't it amazing that even the most fundamental relationship eventally get valued. We are separated two weeks and the STBX is already talking big bucks for me to get out and even to the point of using exhortion and blackmail to get her wishes and in times past i would have cowarded down and she think i will this time, but I will not. Some one told me once I have to "grow a loarge set of b*lls" to get through this and it was sage advice. Everyone has skeletons in the closet to some extent and the STBX thinks she can 'force' me into her wishes... NOT THIS TIME! I apprecaite the support this forum has given me... and for those of you who believe in prayer..... consider me in yours.... i am going to need it.. I dont find it easy to be an SOB... but i think i may have to turn into one to defend myself. Keep me in your thoughts and any advice will be welcomed.
  25. I found it funny that one day my wife loved me and then all the sudden filed for divorce. Today I asked her to please tell if she was with someone else. Sort of like a piece of closure for me I guess. After asking a couple of times she admitted there was someone else. the woman that believed faithfullness was so important and valued, lol. It hurt pretty bad to hear it but I guess I needed it to quit driving myself nuts trying to win her back. I know she's gone now, 5 years are wasted. It's hard to think when she had cancer I would have to dress her sometimes and help her with her makeup, only being a guy in my mid 20's it was alot. Then she is all better , and left. But you know I will have the memories in my heart forever. But after this I can't see trusting another woman ever again. I mean she had me bluffed the whole time and I had no clue.....
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