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itsallgrand last won the day on October 30 2020

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About itsallgrand

  • Birthday 05/23/1979

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  1. I don't understand. This is a woman you were planning to marry and who has been more involved with your kids than their own mother. Why wouldn't you include her in important decision making? When does she get a say in your lives together? Never? Do you not believe she has the best interests of your son in mind, remembering she is operating with limited information here? I can't imagine she will want to go backwards after 6 years, an engagement, and living together. It could be the end of your relationship if you don't work on some way to show her she is an equal partner in this relationship. As for how much you are worried this is your son's only chance at love... I don't necessarily agree with that. It's much more common than most people think. I understand it's your instincts to try and protect him and bubble wrap him, but I do think you are over reacting by thinking his only shot is if him and his current girlfriend live with you.
  2. It would be playing with fire to leave it to the people you are dating to decide this for you. Why so passive? You have to advocate for yourself because no one is going to do it for you. And there are many, many people out there who are just flopping around like a flag in the wind. If you aren't willing to cut out those who want something different than you on something so fundamental, you risk getting caught up in someone else's mistakes. Can you imagine becoming a dad because of an oopsie?
  3. I agree with your original post. Seven years matters less once people are older, as everyone has had their shot already at time to figure themselves out as adults. Just think about yourself from 19 to now and how much you have changed. At 19 everything is just a big experiment. If you are interested in anything vaguely serious in the next years of your life, pass on this. Yes, others are watching, and they could be women you could actually date or those who know women you could date. They aren't going to be jumping when they see you dating someone this age, as it looks like you are mostly interested in going for the low hanging fruit. Challenge yourself and date someone who intimates you a little. It will help snap you out of googly eyes for the 19 year old.
  4. I've never been in an Orthodox church, but I would love to. It would be neat to see the differences and what's familiar. I love learning about religion even though I'm not religious, it's fascinating. It would be interesting to hear you report back after checking out more what your bio ancestors believed... Helps to see their point of view even more, I think. ❤️
  5. I agree with Rose. I think you stand a high risk of being disappointed and hurt looking to her for emotional support right now. You are in a vulnerable spot, and right now she's focused on being wrapped up in herself. It doesn't mean there isn't hope to reconnect, but it might take some time. If give her time to let her current situation play out, and for emotions to cool down. The pumpkin patch idea is a great one. I just wouldn't expect too much. Sometimes the best kind of support is simply being with someone. Just physically being present in the moment. No big talks, just enjoy the moment of the kids and all of you hunting for pumpkins! She loves you too, you know. Just remember that.
  6. I grew up with parts of the service in Latin too. I loved that. Felt magical. Different languages evoke different thoughts and feelings, and Latin is just beautiful in my opinion.
  7. I'm not religious, but I totally get your feelings on that, especially at the RC church. Growing up, my favorite part of church there was the ritual and structure of it. I can understand how that would be important to you. Many years ago now, I had went with a friend to a Christmas bazaar and service at her church. It was Protestant, and I wasn't very familiar with how things are usually done there. It was extremely laid back, pretty much felt like the community center but with some crosses and a few prayers and stories. Nice in its own way, but yes, totally different kind of experience.
  8. I like babies and goats. And baby goats. 🙂 Sounds like a dream come true. Happy for you.
  9. Why is your confidence low? Has something happened in the past to make it hard for you to believe an attractive woman could be interested in you?
  10. The sooner you tell him, the more of a chance you have to fix this before its too late. I agree with Batya. Be honest, and have solutions ready. Be prepared to do whatever it takes.
  11. I went to a specialist appointment today. My anxiety has been high dreading it and dreading having to go to the women's clinic. There's always pro life protesters in the way to get in the doors, which stresses me out even further. It went well, as far as I can tell, but I won't be totally at ease until some time passes with hopefully no phone call. Ugh i hate that anticipation, that feeling of my back going up when the phone rings... No one really calls anymore unless it's a solicitor or something bad, now I hate the phone ringing. It was kind of disturbing how different the place was since last time I was there. You can really see the pinch, in several ways. Usually is arrive early, because sometimes they'd be running ahead. This time they specifically said don't arrive early, you are going to wait. I waited 2 and half hours from my time, and this was after my Appt being rebooked and delayed already. But it was in the room that I really saw the struggle, it was a confused mess and I won't get into it, but the nurse even confused me for someone else, coming in and telling me to go before I was even seen. Didn't help my anxiety that. I don't know. I need to decompress. Just needed to get this out. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
  12. Pretty!! It's so wonderful you have nature nearby.
  13. How is the culture there in general? Are others up the chain respectful and good to staff? Are there things happening regularly in the club that are unusual, things you are asked without outright asked to just pretend aren't happening? Over the years, I did little seasonal stints at various private playgrounds for those with affluence. Golf courses, yacht club, lodges. Some of them are straight up zoos where there is a culture very much driven by money and connections. My first thought is this guy may be connected to someone at the club in some way and may be protected by them. Do you know if he is? You can report, but be prepared for nothing to get done. Just my experience here, that those clubs hiring a bunch of underage girls are not usually the ones concerned about keeping staff, but rather happy for the ease of disposable workers who aren't familiar with workplace particulars. Those who were more professional, again in my experience, tended to hiring more seasoned workers.
  14. This response.... I think it would be to your benefit, like others have mentioned, to talk to a professional about all this. If it was just a crush you can't shake I'd say, get to know her, reality usually pops the bubble. But you seem to have some other stuff going on that maybe is preventing you from being able to jump in and interact, so the fantasy becomes like a safe place to dwell.
  15. Good luck at the protest today! It sounds like you are prepared and have a solid game plan. And as you mentioned before, you can always leave if it gets to be too uncomfortable.
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