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Alex39

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  1. The pay issue is a separate issue. She didn't give me my taxes by law by the date. I said this is an IRS offense on her. But I won't be reporting her for it.
  2. I am trying to help her. I've been extremely nice to her and treat her with respect every time I work with her and speak to her. She complains constantly about hating business and files and money. I've nicely offered to organize things and manage more and tell her I'm good at those things. She likes it, but then she never follows any of it herself and she disorganizes all the processes I make. I feel like I take three steps forward in just clerical stuff and when I come back in, she's rewinding it.
  3. She pays them after one to three months. Whenever she feels like it. This girl taught for 5 weeks for free and finally nicely asked to get paid. I nicely told my boss that this girl hasn't been paid in 5 weeks and it was the end of the month and how maybe she should consistently set up payment for all staff at the end of each month. I added up what she owed her and left the number for my boss. My boss was to write a check and leave it for her. She never did. I don't think she wanted to pay her, and was hoping she said nothing about it. But the girl did, she said it to me. Then the lady paypaled her quickly.
  4. No, I don't think she's scamming and I didn't insinuate that. She forgets to pay people for months. Just kind of pops up when she thinks of it. I reminded her. And she still didn't pay them until that employee complained and then she quickly sent a paypal, even though that employee expected a check left to her. I think some regular processes would make people feel more secure and cohesive. I've suggested this. She says she wants it, but her actions are always sporadic. I don't think it's professional or organized. I have to ask her to pay me.
  5. Wow, I never considered this. I have nothing to do with their pay. Now, seeing what you wrote, I don't want to be involved. She pays them from a check book with her name associated. I'm not involved.
  6. Yes, I only brought it up because I am supposed to be managing the business and that was the job description. And the staff come to me as my title is manager.
  7. Yes, I feel uncomfortable about it. And that I have to keep asking to be paid even myself. She will pay when I ask, but its awkward, and the vibe from her is strange. I think if I didn't say anything, she'd go months. She told me she was annoyed that the woman in my job before demanded to be paid every week. I can see why. I forgot to add. She never gave me any tax documents. By law, you are supposed to send them out postmarked by January 30th. She handed them to me a few days ago, end of February. I kept asking and asking and she wasn't organized or prepared and didn't have it ready. I could technically report her to the IRS and she'd get a penalty. But I'm not a mean person to do that.
  8. I wanted to give an update on this situation. She ended up apologizing and things have been better since. I was looking at the job description of what I was hired for. She is only letting me do about half the work listed. The job was truly to manage her studio. Her staff, hire people, run the place essentially. I'm confused why I am not doing these things. I was excited to do these things, because I like them and it would add to my experience. She complains wrleekly how she hates these things and isn't good at them. I tell her how I'd love to do these things. Even last week, I reminded her that she hadn't paid her staff in a long while. They should be paid every month at the end of the month. She has no procedures or process in place. She just does as she feels like it. So I nicely said- should you pay the staff since it's end of the month? Then I said- how about I calculate what each is owed? She was like- Oh no, I'll handle that. It was like it was some hard secret task that only she could do. I am running her programming with all the numbers. I can easily do it. So I backed off and reminded her nicely that one of her teachers works Tuesday night, so best to leave her check for her when she comes. The owner isn't there Tuesdays. She says okay. Tuesday rolls around. I'm at home. I get a message from the staffer teaching saying how she hasn't been paid and no check was left. I'm the manager, so she comes to me. I feel extremely embarrassed and uncomfortable. I let her know that the owner is responsible for this and not myself. I contact the owner. She never made her a check or left her one. I dont think she planned on paying her staff, but its been over a month. Since she's away, she sends a PayPal to the poor teacher who deserved to be paid. My issue is, I see her sales, she's doubling still under me, so where's the money going? I work there in-person once a week. I asked to be paid every other week. She agreed. I have to ask to be paid when I'm in every time. Then she gets all awkward and frazzled- always asking- when we're you paid last? Like I'm scamming her early for money. It's bizarre. She doesn't keep track of it. So I do and every time I show her how she paid me two weeks ago and she goes- Oh. Like she's bummed she has to pay me again. She decided to up my pay two dollars. But she hired me to work 20 hours a week and I'm barely getting 10. So that's probably who she increased my pay. I truly think she isn't letting me do what she hired me to do, because she knows it would take longer hours and she doesn't want to pay me for it. I feel a bit mislead. The job was 20 hours doing way more. I saw another job posted for a manager very similar to the one I have now. It's 5 minutes from my home compared to the 25 this one is. I currently work about 5 to 6 hours in-person and 4 hours remotely. 10 houra a week. This other job is like 15 hours in-person. I don't know how I feel about that. I already work 35 hours at my full time. I applied and have an interview for the other job. I make $17.50 now and this other new job is $20/hour.
  9. I went out with my new friend and we had a good time. It was so funny, we have lived totally completely different lives, but we shared a lot of similar perspectives on life and men problems. She too struggled exactly the same as me to meet a good man. We exchanged funny horror dating stories and she completely understood my frustration with online dating. She is really nice and she even insists we go out and do something extra fun for my upcoming birthday. I haven't had someone want to celebrate my birthday in years, unless I made a huge effort and begged. She's actually insisting. It was such a nice change. I sort of met a man at the gym last night. Nothing special. When I walked in, I noticed him. He looked cute, but he wasn't some crazy huge meat head. That's just not my type. He looked my way. I proceeded to then do my workout. As I git in my car to leave, he was walking to his car. He was making some strange gesture with his hands. I had no idea what he was meaning. So I proceeded to drive. He quickly caught up to me speeding in his car. He got up next to me and rolled down his window to let me know I forgot to put my headlights on. It was extremely nice of him to tell me and I thanked him as he sped away. I'm questioning now, do I go to the gym every night at the same time, that maybe I'll see him? Who knows.
  10. She was in a friends with benefits relationship and wanted to be in a romantic long-term relationship. She was telling us all this bad information about him. His terrible finances and credit, how he was hiding her from his family, how he kept losing jobs, and he has an addiction to Marijuana with raging mental health issues. He was a train wreck and I told my friend how she deserved an amazing guy who was willing to commit to her and not string her along while he saw other women on the side. He did eventually commit to her. But then there was cheating allegations after they were together. Evidence of him dating others on his phone. She bought her own engagement ring. She married him. He's been unemployed since their marriage 4 years ago. She bought their house, pays for everything, and she did come crying to us once that he was verbally abusive and didn't help her at all with the house chores etc. So yes, I was concerned about my friend.
  11. Not entirely true- Miranda was a lawyer, Samantha was a big time PR agent, and Charlotte was an art exhibit curator. All busy and high level jobs. I would say the only flexible one was Carrie. My one friend works remotely at home, and my other friend only works part-time and has a baby. I work the most. Even recently one of my bosses told me how I work so much. I have two jobs.
  12. I haven't disowned my friends for having boyfriends or getting married. I still talk to them and consider them friends. It can be hard emotionally to listen to constant husband, wedding, baby talk because I don't have that in my life. You didn't talk a lot about it to your friend. My friends talk about it a ton. Years ago, my friend was dating a guy who was super bad for her and she was letting him treat her less than she deserved. I told her so. That to me, is a good friend. I had her best interest at heart, not mine, hers. She is a great, hardworking person, and I hated seeing her get used. She became very secretive after that, to not just me, but all our friends, because she tried hiding that her relationship was bad. She changed a lot, started lying a lot to cover it up. She is now married to that guy. And is still super secretive about her husband. Many of our friends also see this. I am happy if she is happy and safe. All I know is that she is. So I am happy for my friends. I am happy for my friends, sad for myself. They are separate. My feelings are separate. I mourn being alone, not feeling attractive or worthy of love and companionship. Confused how my friends found the "one" and I haven't yet. Trying to figure out my life. But very happy when they tell me something good in there life. My friend was pregnant a year ago. I checked in with her everyday, she was so excited to tell me updates, and we really bonded over her pregnancy. I was her biggest cheerleader. Now that she's had the baby, I shower it with gifts and attention. But I can't really relate to breastfeeding talk and motherhood. Doesn't mean I'm not happy for her. I love the baby. I just feel sad for me, as I feel left out and lame.
  13. You are creating extreme examples here. None of which I expressed I expected. These are unrealistic and you are painting me to be some crazy needy person. I would not expect someone to leave work for me. Or not pick up their child. That's ridiculous. And I wouldn't expect someone to pick up the phone at 1am. But someone I could trust, that maybe they can pick up my mail while I'm on a trip away and water my plants, because I trust them to be in my home. Someone who would grab dinner with me after a breakup to cheer me up. Someone that would just check up on me every so often and ask how I am. Someone who would pick me up if I got a flat and they were free. Someone who comes over to drink tea and talk occasionally.
  14. I think a good friend is there when you need them. I wouldn't expect someone to leave work for me. But I had a friend. Her mother died. After work, I immediately ran out shopping, put together a big fruit basket and delivered it to her house and checked up on her to see how she was. She really appreciated it. Years and years ago, I went through a horrible breakup. Sam and Libby came to my house on the weekend and brought ice cream and cheesy movies to cheer me up. I'm still into doing that stuff, but Sam and Libby slowly stopped doing it. I look at the show Sex and the City, 4 best friends who are always there for one another. They are married and have boyfriends and even babies, but they are still best friends.
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