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  1. And what really makes me angry is that she knew my dad was in the hospital five days ago and she couldn’t friggin call me ??????? Five friggin days ago you knew this Marilyn and you thought you would tell me Friday right before my holiday . You’re a . Feel like calling her right now because she’s going on holidays today and telling her what her nice fabulous brother did. Do you want to know that your other brother is a rapist and a child molester I hope you have a good holiday .
  2. I thought I would give a go at this journaling thing. My friends do not partake in online dating and I don't really get feedback from anyone that does. Mostly my friends shake their heads and ask `why?' I've been out of a relationship since May '14 and without rehashing all that has transpired I will say that online dating has changed considerably in the past 3 years. I've taken several breaks, mostly after meeting men looking for casual sex and men who are too afraid to put themselves out there and seem to put me in the drivers seat to pursue them and breath life into the situation. Neither of which I am comfortable with. I am a young (as so I am told) 50 something yr old professional with a rich social life, so I am definitely not lonely. If I sense there is no momentum in a man that I meet I am quick to let it go seeing that I don't have a lot of free time and being with my friends is often a much better option. After my last fail .. well I can't really call it a failed attempt, maybe a valuable lesson with dating someone I mentioned here in previous posts, that I had dated earlier this year and he made a return visit in Oct. He is clearly not ready for a relationship but I am very taken by him and we have amazing chemistry. With that being said he is dating others and at some point these things run their course and I opted out, not wanting to be part of the `rotation' and finding myself engaging in an intimate relationship with someone I did not have a commitment with. Mind you this is the first time in my life I tried to do this and much like I already knew I am not cut out for it. He still texts once in a while and says he misses me, but it messes with my emotions so the more distance I get the better. I wish things were different . . but it is what it is. To keep my sanity during that time I continued to date others (not intimately) and the pace was wearing on me and creating all sorts of unneeded anxiety. During the holidays I pulled my profile but continued to communicate with one person who's schedule is opposite of mine for the time being so meeting was a challenge. During my time off during the holidays we met for breakfast and as much as I really didn't want to go, I was pleasantly surprised. Now 3 dates later my current challenge is to see if this man can open up and let me in. Apparently I make him very nervous and at times he shuts down. I tried dating someone like him sometime ago and I thought in time he might let me in. After several weeks I realized it was never going to happen. What I do like about my new friend is that he has some old school values much like mine, maybe a little more conservative. He noticed I pulled my profile (only for a break) and pulled his as well saying he typically only dates on person at a time to see where it goes. It's nice to not have to interpret someone's intentions and refreshing to know I am not part of someone rotation. We haven't so much as held hands yet which builds up that anticipation part that seems to be so fun and he's a good `dater'. I have met so many men who don't know how to date. .funny as that sounds, but true. I am enjoying this. He is showing me that he does have sense of humor and enjoys giving me a hard time (playfully) I am optimistic that there is someone that I am able to connect with behind the shyness. He has assured me that he is typically not this way and has promised to open up. I still have another friend I will see tonight. T and I have been dating for about 3 months now and as much as I like and I am attracted to him I just don't think we are relationship material. He's gone most weekends to see his son 8 hours away. He's so sweet and endearing but not very active, pretty much a couch kinda guy, very Christian and not much of a social drinker. (my social circle is!) He has a very naïve almost immature quality to him but I feel safe and cared for with him. I often wish I could see him as someone more than a friend but that certain quality is lacking. I don't see him often and have opted out a couple times lately, but I am looking forward to catching up tonight. So this it. . at least for now. I see my shy friend this weekend. M has invited me for a day trip to the local mountains and I am looking forward to it. For now my profile is down . .tomorrow who knows!?
  3. Hello everyone, Basically I have been online dating my bf for 7month now due to covid we havnt managed to meet up. But he has a habit when hes with his friends to not message me at all or reply to any of my messages. In the past if he goes away he wont tell me and just go saying it was last minute or that he was busy and only after not messaging for a few days and me sending angry messaged only then he will reply. We argued about this then and he apologised and promised it wudnt happen again ovcourse it happened again and the same story we argued and he promised never again. He has delayed coming to see me because he says he cant get time of work. A few weeks go by talking as normal then all of a sudden over the weakened he hardly messages me and then he doesnt message me at all or reply to any of my messages although I have seen him come online multiple times for long periods of time. I then send an angry text implying if he no longer wants to be with me to just be Frank about it and just tell me. Ect.. to which he replied and told me his friend forced him on a last minute holiday for a week and that hes been so busy he hasnt had any time to message me. And that he hasnt even been on what's all even tho I have screenshots of him being online. I asked him how he manages to go on a last minute holiday when to me he says it's really hard to book time off he just said he managed. I then phoned him and we began arguing about why he didnt message to let me know hes going on holiday. I've told him so many times even if he messages to say I'm going to be busy over the next few days we might nit get much if a chance to talk that's fine with me it's the leaving me out of the loop completely and expecting me not to get angry is the annoying bit but he just doesnt seem to understand I was crying on the phone and his priority was to go out partying. He left me crying on the phone so he could go with his friends. He then promised to call me later that night but he never did nit even a simple text or anything for 2 days then I send another angry message saying I want to end it because I dont deserve to be treated the way hes treating me. And his response was just why are you creating soo much drama. Since then there has been no communication and i know he wont until hes back from holiday. He comes back on sunday I dont know if when he comes back I should ignore his messages for a few days so he can have a taste of his own medicine or just reply and fight it out. Or should I just end it with him. I do love him but I dont want him to think he can just get away with it.
  4. Hi all, Just in need of a little help I will keep it brief, 12 year relationship ended, 7 months on I'm with a lovely new girl, the problem is I'm finding it difficult to do things with this girl that I did with my Ex , for example... Watching tv shows I used to watch, The idea of going on holiday, Eating in the same restaurants, Family gatherings etc Just keeps bringing memories up! I'm not used to being out of a long term relationship so just wondering if anyone had been in a similar situation and what seemed to help you? Thanks in advance
  5. My husband and I just got married, though we've been together for 5 years. Every other part of our relationship is fine, but we have one major disagreement that we can't seem to settle ourselves. He feels that it's absolutely necessary to spend holidays together and take turns with whose parents we see each year. His parents live in Wisconsin and mine live in Oregon and we can't afford two trips. Family is more important to me than the actual holiday, I just want to be with my parents. I compromised this year and agreed to see his parents in Wisconsin and it's absolutely killing me that I missed out on my own parents. I'm lucky to have in-laws who love me, and his parents are very sweet, but that doesn't cover up the homesickness I feel for my own parents. Am I so crazy for suggesting that we spend a couple of weeks apart for the holidays so we each get to see our own parents? We are together constantly for the rest of the year. I just don't think a couple of weeks apart once a year is such a big deal.
  6. Ever since I was a kid, I knew that my parents aren't the kind that say I love you to each other, nor do they hug, or even like each other. They often fight in front of me and my siblings; in the car, in the bedroom where I slept in, in the living room, on the street when we were traveling. One time I was eating and they were fighting next to me and my mom was talking about my dad's affair. It broke my heart that they would let a children hear that. They fought a lot that sometimes when I'm in my bedroom in silence, I feel like I hear them screaming and fighting, even though there is no fighting. But now they don't fight anymore. And I don't know if it's good or bad. On the bright side, I don't have to hear the screaming that always makes me scared anymore. But, unfortunately, no fighting means they don't talk. Ever. It's been almost a year since I hear them talking more than a minute to each other. They pretend the other doesn't exist. They hate each other too much to talk and interact. It makes me sad and angry at the same time. It's even worse now that my dad has just recently retired from his job which means he's going to spend most of his time at home. I never liked weekends where both my parents are home, it's so uncomfortable, though they never even talk to each other. It just feels miserable. But now it's not only weekends, it's everyday! Especially now that it's nearing the holidays. I am not at all excited for it. I wish I could just skip it you know. I don't like my whole family gathering up because it's probably gonna be a lot of resentment and conflicts and I'm not ready for it. I can't wait to graduate from college and move on to another country. I can't wait to get out of this mess. I love my parents, they're great parents individually. But they're not great when together and that is why I need to get out. Any advice on how to deal with this? Especially with the holiday coming around soon? I'm trying out meditation and reading a lot of self-help articles, it's been really helpful. I'm not as sad as I used to be about this. I 'm taking control of my life and my own emotions but still, sometimes, I can't help but feel trapped and miserable.
  7. Hi Really desperate for some advice please. I’ve been with my partner for three years. He was separated at the time, and had an amicable divorce October last year. 6 months prior to that he asked what the next step was for us as we were already living together, have decided we don’t want children and had our first holiday. He shocked me but surprised me by mentioning marriage and said it was something he absolutely wanted.....fast forward to years and nothing has happened and I don’t believe he wants to now. I’ve tried to talk to him and his response is dismissive or ‘I’ve not thought about it anymore’ I don’t know what to do? I get upset but I feel angry that he sort of put it in my head and now doesn’t seem keen
  8. Hi everyone, This is my first time posting and first time visiting this community. So - i have been with someone for the past 2.5 years. In the beginning things were great, but i always noticed that i felt as though he didn't always speak to me in a respectful way. Mostly getting short with me, aggressively saying my name like a parent would and kind of telling me off almost. However apart from this the relationship was really good. We spent a lot of time together and texted frequently, always telling each-other how much we wanted to be together etc. Normal relationship stuff. Fast forward to 6 months ago, I started noticing that the remarks towards me were getting pretty frequent, the texting had slowed down a lot and we were seeing each-other less and less. He has hobbies that take up a lot of (solo) time and i spent a lot of time being fitted in around this. I know hobbies are important however so i let him get on with them and actively encouraged them. In our spare time his first thought would be how to fit in his hobbies. This became apparent when he decided to go off on a solo adventure for 2.5 months over summer (we are students and have a large summer break in-between semesters). He didn't really want to go on holiday together but i feel as though i wore him down and we decided to meet in the middle. Before we met on holiday we were apart for 6 weeks. Throughout this time we spoke over text and rang each-other maybe 3 times (he isnt a big phone call person). However the texts were nothing like they should be in a relationship and i felt just like he was checking in with a friend, no miss you, love you etc unless i did and in which case he would reciprocate. One day i messaged him asking if he could tell me something nice and that he loved me because i was going through a hard time with family stuff and wanted to hear it. He didn't message me for 5 days until i rang him and he said he "hadn't come away for me to nag at him." We meet up on holiday in a beautiful destination. But i felt so alone the whole time. He was short with me, made some quite nasty remarks and i felt as though i was a burden the whole time. I left him to go home when the holiday ended and cried for about two hours, that was when i decided enough was enough. The person i was with 2 years ago is not the same person now, and he isn't being respectful. I had some time to think and had to unfortunately message him this because we still had a month of him on his trip. I said i felt unhappy, i felt he was rude and made me so upset on holiday. He said "we can talk when i'm back". I reiterated the message about 2 weeks later and got the same reply "talk when back". I won't be seeing him until next week when we are both in the same country again. We haven't spoken apart from this. I just kind of want to know whether i am making a really silly decision by ending it with someone who when the good is good, we have great times. Or whether the way its been in the pat 6 or so months is enough to be a dealbreaker.
  9. What are people's views on luck/bad luck, do you believe there is such a thing? I think I am cursed or something... In the past week so many bad things have happened and just when things are looking up something else happens... Me and gf split up, My mum has to go into hospital and get an operation, I get stomach bug, I injure my back, My (ex)gf's parents say she cant go on holiday with me, I loose getting a place on a uni course, My (ex)gf says she won't go on our holiday, My few options of other people to go on holiday can't... I am surprisingly upbeat but I feel astho I am going crazy and this isn't real... Interestingly on sunday a girl I know dropped a necklace, I picked it up and held onto it for her. I go to give her it back and she says she doesn't want it back as it brought her lots of bad luck. Even though I don't really believe in luck I destroyed the necklace last night...
  10. Hello need any insight - lotsa reading im afraid… Ok, goin out bout 3 months, first 2 great, fall madly in love. About 2 month ago she moves back home for the summer to work. So she is now a 2 hour train journey away and works 6 days a week so I am only really able to see her one evening a week, till she returns. Bout 5 weeks ago we decided that it would be great to book a holiday in Sept, was really excited. Last time saw her (3 weeks ago) she seemed a bit ackward n said something was on her mind. She accidently sends me a txt ment for her bestfriend sayin that she doesn't think she feels the same about me n some other stuff. So I manage to see her and confront her about the txt sayin we should talk. She says is really confused n needs time to think, maybe a break. That she has felt like this for a month n been down. Says she does still love me but not sure if she wants a bf just now and feels she has changed. Said if we to go on holiday she needs time to sort herself out and phone me next day when she has had some sleep n less hormone-y Get a text from that night sayin she is so sorry she doesn't understand what is goin on in her head and that it isn't me, I haven't done anything wrong and she hates herself just now. Get a txt next day sayin she is "goin out so she can't really call later *hug*" I managed give her a call as I just needed to say what I thought, that I think things havent changed but it is normal when you are away from someone you first time, to have feelings that you aren't sure if you feel the same as u did, cause of the sudden change from seeing lots to hardly any. I said I was sure it would get better when she moved back in couple of months and she would see that when we spend time together if we go on holiday. She said maybe. I said we shouldn't go on a break but if she needed time I would give her some NC time, as I wasn't gonna let her slip thru my fingers like that. But she says that we need to break up for now. She sounds upset. I send her a text later sayin I just needed to phone earlier as it would be on my mind if i didnt. That I would let her have time to sort stuff out. I added at the end to a sweet thing that she had once said about us and to remember that. Get a text back sayin not to say that as it will make her sad (the bit I added at the end) and that she had changed and was sorry. She phoned couple of days later about something (immaterial - not to do with us) but we chatted for quite a bit, non relationship. She asked me to call back a bit later, we chatted more, she asked if I had been seeing anyone else - no, if I was happier apart - no, if i missed her - yes and that she missed me, said we would speak soon. Texted her next day - about the immaterial thing she originally phoned about n some random stuff followed by kisses. So she gets in contact with me about a week later. Txts me as she upset - she had just had a big argument wit her parents. They say there is no way she is going on the holiday we had booked if we ain't seein eachother . I give her a phone to discuss what to do, we chat away well as usual. I ask her if she was actually planning to go on the holiday - she says definatly and was really looking forwards to it, she said she had wondered if it would be a bit weird tho. I say I think it would be fine whichever way things swung in the end - I think we could still have a great holiday. Suggest meeting up with her and do something – to check we get on ok. But she says she thinks it is maybe too soon as she still feels she needs to be alone and she really busy... So I say ok thats fine think about it and the offer stands. She texts me next day sayin she is really down about the holiday and she really needs one. I reply sayin her parents can't stop her, but that might not be the best idea. You could always lie to your parents and say we are together just so you can go on holiday. Get a message next day sayin "no, i'm not going on holiday. too weird, I can't. I'm not going to go." (Did she need to tell me 3 times in one txt…) I didn't reply to that, that was 4 days ago. It's strange, it is almost starting to feel like I am the one who broke it off! I don't even know why we split up!
  11. OK, in a nutshell I went out on a date with a girl about 6 weeks ago but then went on holidays for 4 weeks. We really hit it off on the date and joked about 4 weeks being 'such a long time' to go away for. It was playful, as if a second date would definitely be on the cards when I came back. I kept contact relatively limited while on holiday and restricted myself to contacting her only when she contacted me, or initiating contact on Christmas/New Years. In other words, I played it quite cool....which is relatively new territory for yours truly In total, there were about 7 or 8 SMS's sent between us and 2 emails. Thankfully I had very limited access to the internet on holiday so there wasn't even the temptation to increase contact. My goal (in relation to her) during my holiday was to secure a 2nd date....and it all appeared to be going well. I got back almost 2 weeks ago and she was away for a few days on her own holiday (how inconsiderate!! ), but we organised to meet one night last week. Late the night before, she contacted me to let me know that she was trying to finish a job application and had hoped to do so that night but would have to finish it on the Thursday night...so could I take a rain-check? Of course I agreed and said I would call her the following week to organise it (the weekend wasn't an option as she was working). So I call, no answer....I leave a voice message. She SMS's me later that night to apologise for missing my call but that she was out with friend's and would call me the next day. It was at this stage that I was starting to get a little suspicious but was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. So it gets to late the next night and there was no call. I was really starting to get the feeling that I was being strung along and maybe it was because she didn't know how to turn me down politely. I decided to take matters (partly) into my own hands and put my mind at ease.... So I SMS'd her simply saying that I was getting the impression that she wasn't that keen to meet up and asked if we should just leave it. She responded late that night saying that it wasn't intentional, she had got stuck at work....but then went on to say that she was working late every night until Friday, would be away for the weekend, that work was taking over her life and that she couldn't see a time 'anytime soon' that she would be able to have a 'normal social life' and that maybe we should just leave it. I responded by saying that it wasn't a problem...that I'd had fun the first time we went out and thought it'd be nice to meet up again but not to worry! I finished it with 'Take care'. It had a sense of finality about it, but I'm not sure So that's where I am now. She does have a very stressful job, made even more stressful by the fact that she has just qualified in her profession (quite a high pressure job). So now I am in 2 minds: If she did want to meet up, she could have made time (in my opinion). Having said that, would she make the effort to meet knowing that it may be hard to start a relationship right now? (due to work) Hmmm….have I been brushed off? Or could her job *genuinely* be the reason? If it's not a brush off, what do I do next….send a light-hearted email in a month? I don't want to waste any time on something that is completely pointless, so honest opinions would be gratefully appreciated.
  12. Yet another story..... About 4 weeks ago I met a fine lady. I decided on a different, more direct approach, and stated that I liked her after two dates and listed several reasons. She was incredibly surprised that I would like after so few dates. I was given the standard "but we hardly know oneanother line", yet I know there is interest as we fooled around for a bit. Still, her hesitation was apparent and I received little feedback (ie. she never actually said that she admired anything about me). A was heading home for 2 months for holidays so we exchanged emails. I received a short small talk message yesterday, but nothing more. Shortly after Interest A returned home for holidays, I met another young lady I will refer to as "interest B". Attraction was mutual from the beginning. Because nothing was written in concrete with Interest A, I made the decision to explore Interest B. I believe in maintaining as many options as possible, especially in a case where a future relationship with A remains somewhat uncertain. I prefer direct quick approaches towards dating (ie. I don't like long drawn out courtships). B has a high level of interest in me, and we went on four back to back dates and were sleeping together on the fifth. Interest B wants a formal relationship. Interest A is friends with many aquaintances of mine and I am sure many of them are well aware of my advances and my interest in her. After stating that I liked her as well as listing several reasons why, pulling out is somewhat difficult. Essentially, I would be an a##hole in her eyes as well as every one of her friends. Furthermore, I still admire A for her qualities and believe a relationship with her would bring benefits equal to a relationship with B. I'm a young fellow living overseas and while the city I live is quite large, in many ways it is very small. It is like living on a boat. Everyone knows everyone. Good public relations are incredibly important. This isn't to say that I have a craving for everyone's approval, but merely that I don't want to rock the boat, or living here could possibly become very lonely. Essentially, my main concern is PR. Sounds shallow and childish, I know, but it is really important where I live...I don't need enemies. I like both women, as each has different qualities which I admire. The only option I can really see is abandoning both A and B and starting from scratch. I don't see an easy way out of this. I will not play both women.
  13. OK so i told some 1 about my ex and my story, this person said that my ex was playing games with me. How she would ignore all my calls and texts, anyways. I did appear too availible and i guess she got disinterested in that, i gave up saying hello to her and took that persons advice and started playing my game, i started NC. She is away on holiday, i knew this before hand when we were going out so i knew it was around this time and she changed her onmline name to where she was. the best way i handled this was to think, hmm ur a stranger it has nothing to do with I dont need to worry about it, i didnt stay online for long. Now take in mind that she never messags me first and i have to always message her, so its me chasing her, tbh i think that she wanted me to say something to her when she had her name where she was, but when i didnt message her, and say wow ur on holiday how is it, what do u think she thought?starting to miss her loss of power? cause normally i would jump to her feet. Was she expecting a message from me perhaps, im always the kind loving person, so hows things with ur life etc and always am interested in how shes doing cause i love her for some reason?lol But ive chosen not to show no interest at all, anyways she messages me about 3 days after, day 1 being the day i see her online with her name saying shes on holiday, and day 3 the same but she message me this time. Take into fact that i dont go on that account much, and she just asks me a random question, no hello no hi im here, just a question nothing to do with me or anyone. Now im thinking, she has lots of friends online so I bet she could have asked one of them, its not a question only I would know. to be honest i think she just messaged to show her where she was (just in case i didnt see it) and not let me know shes loosing power if you get me, i didnt message back anyways cause i was afk. Am i wrong in thinking she is starting to miss me, and starting to miss her power, I cant think of any other reason why she sent that message, i need all insights ppl and views, i guess there will be questions from you all so i just need your wise words and thoughts i guess.
  14. Hello, Greetings.. Well there is a girl.... i love.... been 2 years.. since i am in love with her... in first sight.... she doesnt know me... i just get to see her in some parties and all... as she is cousin of my aunt... then i got her id... and we started chatting... we come to know each other well... but i proposed her through in a chat way 4 months before probably.... she said me she needs time.... its ok.. then she went to india for enjoying holidays.. 2 months before.. and now she is back.. called me to come in her house... i am invited but i said after a week as now many guests will visit her house these days.. as she is back from india... so i am like dumb in front of her.. i cant speak anything wat i wanna to... as now i have a lot of words to say.. but in front of her i cant express them... and i am going her house after a week.. so i wanna make that time a good conversation with her.... she also told me she has changed her hair style... and wants to show me snaps of her holidays.... and all.. so wat am i supposed to talk now... well, her pc is also bad.. so gonna make that too.. am good at it.. anyway.. i hope i will get good replies.. =)
  15. Been doing NC for like 8 or 9 weeks now, im donig good for myself, i have a new job adn my mind is concentrated else were other then her. Shes on holiday, and she messages me online she asks a silly question thats not relevante to anything, I didnt respond to her, Im just wondering, what can i expect from now on? and when she gets aback wat do you think is going on and could happen? and why she even message me?
  16. For those of us trying to get back with or move on from an EX and the emotional roller coasters, did everyone make it thru the holiday Easter weekend OK??? I hope so. The weather was awful yesterday, but it was a good day all in all.... I feel pretty upbeat today, got alot of decisions to make, but I feel ok today!!
  17. Hi everyone! There's this girl that i really like and im quite sure she seems interested in me. I have been thinking that since the Easter holidays are coming up i might ask if she wants to do something together. I lack alot of confidence and self-esteem but im trying to work on that... . If she agrees im after good places to take her since it's our first date (sorta) where do you girls often like going or doing in general with a guy (haven't dated in a while, kinda of forgotten, hopless case ) but i guess that depends on what she like i guess. Can anyone offer any advice or information, it would be appreicaited - whitefang
  18. Hi there everybody. 5 months ago this forum saved me from grieving to death over a break-up, then I found another love...(yes, there IS life and new relationships after a break up - and it can be even better!!)...and now I'm back here. I'd better tell you why - and I'd truly appreciate a piece of advice. So I found this guy and from the beginning it seemed to go quite serious, also given the fact that both of us have been in rather many relationships and most of the people around us are already married and we wann have families too etc. Basically we thought this might be it, and we uttered mutual interest in really making this one work. On our second date we went on holiday and directly after that lived together for 5 weeks due to the fact that we live in different countries and in summer it was possible to get to know each other "better" that way. Kind of fast, but then again, is THAT the problem, really? We surely got to know each other better during that time - both in good and bad! He's no easy character (we're talking about a mental disorder here, nothing more than a strong personality really, but still)... getting used to him being so different from all the other guys I've been with was really tough. On holiday, between beautiful days there were many, many fights - and I surely didn't show him my best features all the time either. Everything seemed to bother me or become an issue between us, fights started so easily. Mind you that I'm not a person who likes arguing. Every second day at least we had a heated discussion and one of us was packing bags - but always we made it up. And in between, we gained closeness and our love grew. All in all...it was very tough time in deed...but the best thing for me personally is the fact that we made it and I can at least say on my behalf that I learned A LOT about respect and adjustment, I literally learned to love him despite all those things I didn't like when we started seeing each other 24h/day. If you're asking by now, what on earth I'm doing in here then...well, everything changed. Maybe the nearness became too much, maybe the distance after that, maybe the continuous fights had to end some day. Now we're basically breaking up, the last argument doesn't seem to clear up and there have been serious signs now that this is it. He's got rather cold and unapproachable for me. He has said some not so nice things to me (he does that when argueing usually too, so I can't tell if this is how he now really feels - all of the sudden). And I'm sad. I took me time and the pumpy ride to start loving him as he is and I had to make concessions. But he doesn't seem to be able to make any concessions himself and as much as I can see that he's disappointed and sad about our relationship fading away, he can't give in and he blames me for ruining everything. I have to ad that we're both at the moment in a very difficult professional situation and also somehow quite susceptible. Basically the relationship's all tangled up now and we're supposed to meet up only to say goodbye when I'm next time around, he texted a couple of days ago = last contact. Sorry for the longuish intro, but now I need your advice on this: 1) Do you think a love can turn around like this? Or is this some game here again...? If so, why now that we've gone through so much already and NOW that I'm really in love (=too available?). 2) I think I've explained everything I could to clear the situation which is NOT my fault, I've said I loved him - should I still try and make an effort or just no contact until I can see him in 2 weeks? 3) Do you think, if somebody "really" wanted to break up/stopped caring he'd say in an indifferent way "if you wanna be with me go ahead, I don't care anymore"...and next day texted you that he doesn't want to say goodbye in a sms so let's do that face-to-face next time I'm around? 4) What the %**£ am I supposed to do? Forget about him 'cos it would be "easier"? Like I said, he is a difficult but probably the most lovable person I've ever met. And I just feel it's unfair to really "work" so much on the relationship and then just throw it away. More indifferent and trivial relationships last... Really sorry for this long article, but I'd appreciate if somebody gave me a hint about what's going on...anybody? (Lisaria's still around?) Thanks. Princesa
  19. Basically my GF told me yesterday that she no longer feels for me in the way she did before. After talking to her she wants us to be friends. Basically our relationship was short a little over a month. Things started off great and she fell for me instantly. Then after about 4 weeks she said things started to fall apart just out of the blue. This was around the holidays and she told me she just didnt feel the same for me and she didnt think it was fair to keep stringing me along. Well I told her I still have feelings for her but was willing to give the friend thing a try. She said that she just wanted to be friends for now and take it one day at a time. I told her I was o.k. with that but told her to keep and open mind and let me know if her feelings ever change. She said she would. How should I approach this I really love this girl a lot and don't want to loose her over a feeling that went away on such short notice. I think if she gets to know me better she may see who I truly am. Any ideas on what I can do? Please note: I'm not just being her friend to win her back I really just enjoy her company. Is there any chance I could fix this?
  20. My ex and I had a rough breakup, but a great relationship. It ended without much notice, and a few mean words from him ( he fell out of love with me... my words) He is still in the possesion of my stuff too. It has been a month since I have tried to contact him.. his last response was impolitely " your stuff is in the mail". My problem is we have a mutual friend who has an Christmas eve party, and she doesn't want to count one of us out...but he doesnt want to have anything to do with me, an dI don't think I am ready to see him. If I don't go to this dinner, I will be left out.. and the night will suck... all because of my ex. But if I go and he shows too, things will definitely be uncomfortable. He may even go as far as treating me disrespectfully. I can handle being nice to him.. seeing that I was the dumpee, and I am a bit older too. I will say merry christmas and smile, then move to someone else.. hopefully. But since the breakup.. he is nothing but disappointing surprises. What should I do? Should I just bail on the dinner? How can I talk to my friend and make her feel better about being in the middle? I mean there is no real way... to feel good about it. But what can I do so she isn't in the middle anymore? What do you guys think the right thing to do is?
  21. I dated my last girlfriend from about January until the end of July. We had a long distance relationship of being about 2 hours apart. She is a quiet and reserved woman who has a good career going but suffers from depression and takes medication for that. I felt very strongly for her but the distance was too much for her to handle. Neither of us could move to where the other was (nor would it make sense to this early in a relationship). She was at a point where she was very confused with things and it was easier for her to just not want to have a commited relationship at the time. It was a large bomb on me, but I do realize that she has depression and that she has a lot going on in her life. So, we agreed to remain in touch but not romantically (but she wanted to leave that door open for in the future). So, we have actually done well with talking once a week or so and we still talk to each other like we used to. She seems much more comfortable this way and I don't seem to have the expectations that I once did from the relationship. So, this week it turns out that she has a conference for work in the town I live. She is here for 3 days. She gave me a call last week saying that she was able to get a room at the hotel she was at for the last two days but not for the first. So, she asked if she could stay with me. I said she was more then welcome to stay at my house. She shows up yesterday evening and we went out to dinner. We came back and watched a movie and we had a good time like we always have in the past with each other. She can easily talk to me and can let go a little bit with anything that is bothering her (some stuff going on with her mother and her mother's boyfriend). Anyways, it was a little awkward when she showed up and we hugged. But after that, we were talking just like normally. I still very much like this girl but I know we just can't do anything romantic right now and it would not be feasable. So, in the past, we had slept together. This time, she never said anything, and we aren't dating really, so I said that I had made up the bed in one of my spare rooms and went to make sure everything was good. She kept giving me this awkward look. I have no idea if it was..."I still would like to be able to sleep together" or if it was her way of checking if I was alright with things like this. It was even a little awkward this morning when she was heading off to her conference. She kept hugging me like it was the last time we were going to see each other or something. Also, last night we started talking about trips and vacation time and the like. Well, I know she is alone and I don't want her to be alone for the holidays so I put the offer out there for her to come over for Thanksgiving and for Christmas and she was very open to that. Her face lit up and she was happy with that. I think I am doing the right thing here in trying to keep things on a very good friend level for now until we ever got to the point where we could make something more out of it. In the meantime, I feel like this is a good thing to be (very good friends and be there for her when she wants to talk...be there for the holiday's etc.) I am still a little confused about the awkwardness last night though. I can only assume that she is feeling the same way in that she would like to have more and misses being able to cuddle and the like, but probably doesn't want to push me away or freak me out in any way. SHe is like that. I don't know, but I feel more optimistic about the future with her and I like the idea of having a deep friendship with her. We both feel easy with telling each other everything that is on our minds (just not always able to do so with regards to things doing with each other's relationship at times). Things probably are very good to be honest. I just want to get some opinions. Thanks.
  22. I met a girl on holiday and really liked her. When I had to leave again we made out. When she came back we talked a lot and went on a date. She lives only 30 minutes away so its not like a long distance thing. When we had some time alone I asked if she wanted to continue in a serious way. She than said "I don't know" and a while later she said "I don't think so" the reason she gave was that it was kind of personal and she could not say. She then cried..she didn't want me to see but I did. I went home. When I left I said something like "ill see you soon" and she smiled and said yes. I didn't mean to say that but her reaction surprised me a bit. I talked to her online the next day and it was as if nothing had happened. She then blocked me for about a week (Im not sure but seeing that she is online every day and than suddenly not at all for a week makes me pretty sure she did). When she unblocked me I talked to her once (I iniated that) but mostly I don't talk to her cause I want her to initiate it. Yesterday I was planning on calling her and telling her how I felt. Just when i was planning on doing that someone came in my room and we left coz we had to go somewhere. I came back late so I didn't call her. Today I'm kinda happy that because of coincidence I didnt call her because I'm not sure that would have been smart. I want to be with her but I really don't know what to do anymore. Any help will be greatly appreciated...
  23. Well today marks 100 days since I've last talked to my Ex. Now that I'm into the triple digits I realize that it's ridiculous for me to continue to keep track. Afterall.. when does the madness stop? Do I keep counting to 200... 300... 500? As we enter into the new year, I do believe it's now time to just move on. I did not receive any kind of contact from her over the holidays. No cards.. No e-mails. Not a single well wish. I wasn't particularly bothered by it. That's probably because I wasn't really expecting it anyway. So I made it through the holidays just fine. If she feels she can do better than me.... then I wish her luck. There was a reason that I opened up my Personals mailbox yesterday and found 72 responses. Obviously someone finds me attractive. Of course.... not one of these women lived closer than 200 Miles from me. How's that for Bad luck? Nonetheless.... it still made me feel good. So my Ex's loss will be someone elses gain. I'm Done. I'm sure that I will still go through good and bad spells... just as we all do. However I'm not wasting my time on somebody who can no longer give me the time of day. The World does not work like that. Actions speak louder than words. If she can't show me that she misses me.... then Screw it. "THAT IS IT." I won't be calling. If I can do it for 100 Days... Then I can do it for a Lifetime! I'm not investing my time in someone who doesn't think I'm worth it. I personally know that I'm worth it. But if she can't see that..... then she doesn't deserve me anyway. When her next boyfriend treats her like garbage.... she'll suddenly remember the fun that we had and how much I was always there for her. Only then will she realize how much she misses me. If that call ever comes.... I will let everyone here know about it. Happy 2005!!!! John
  24. Is it true that a man's diet, stress level, hormones, etc, can effect the color of his sperm? I don't mean to gross anyone out or anything, but my husband has been spewing yellow sperm... It is the holidays and we haven't been eating how we normally eat, and we have drank more alcohol over the passed couple weeks than usual. Should we be worried about this?
  25. i figured someone was going to post a thread like this eventually. anyway, sorry in advance for whining, but i figure many others are going through this too. so it's the holidays, and my ex and i have been apart for 3 months. she's happy as can be with her new boyfriend, and pretty much all my other friends have someone special too. other than that, me and two of my friends are totally alone i've been trying to find someone new, but out of three single girls i've pursued since i've been single; one ignored me entirely, and the other two apparently forget about me, due to other guys that came into their lives after me, so they're probably off the market now too. this is the first holiday where i've had a girlfriend before it, so i've never known what it's really like to be "alone" on these kinds of yearly events. i want to know if anyone has any advice on how to make this time of year not so lousy. all i can think about is the ex and how happy she is with her new boyfriend, when she's the one who ruined our relationship right before this guy. again, sorry for being angsty... this site is one place i can let it out without people telling me to get over it. thanks 8)
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