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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. Title of this thread is the same as my blog... except the after dark part. I added After Dark because I most likely will write about things here that I don't write about in my Blog. Here I am anonymous... there I'm not. So, now it's time to work my nerves a bit... To M... Posting on facebook that you started your rag... Really? While your at it why don't you just post pics of some used tampons for all our enjoyment. To B... The things you do that used to annoy me so much are starting to annoy me less and less. But, it's not that I've had a change of heart and see the error of my ways or anything... It's just that I CARE less and less. Also to B... While you are sitting on your ass talking/typing about all the things you want to do, I am actually out doing the things I want to do. But you continue to criticize me. To AZ, Would you be my friend at all if I didn't make good money? I love hanging out with you, but anymore every time I see you you expect me to spend it on you. To A... this isn't working my nerves. But I still want to say it. Thank you for making me feel the way you have these last couple days.
  2. Wow, I can not believe you have been gone for almost 3 years now. That seems an impossible amount of time. I come to think of you because I know we will be leaving you behind when we move. That does not grieve me like it once did. I know you are not really in your burial place but in my heart and in heaven. I have let go of a lot of grief, but there will always be some while I can not see or hold you. I will have to wait for my life to be over to do that. Your big brother still talks about you and asks what you would be doing in life now had you been with us. I think his heart is better off knowing you did exist, even if you are not with us. He is not angry anymore and he speaks of you with love in his eyes and joy in his heart. You both would have been fabulous together. Dad misses you too but he walls it inside, he said your death was the single worse day of his life. We are all moving on though and we still think of you daily and less and less with sorrow. kisses little one, Love Mommy
  3. I think most of us could use some emotional support through the pandemic. To be clear this is SUPPORT , criticism and blaming is not needed. I know some us out here are high risk or normal risk. If you need a warm fuzzy today, I love you ❤️ Virtual hug.
  4. *I remember why I love(d) you. *I'm working too much. AGAIN. *I'm sick of looking over my shoulder and trudging amongst the squashed masses. Too many problems for this soul to handle. *Oh! So that is why. How much bloody pain on simple lack of understanding can cause! The difference between closeness and distancing. Will I ever change? Or is it enough to be known? *I hate bannock. Shut up about the god damn bannock already people. *I've never felt this way before. Ever. Don't know what it is. Except it is new. [video=youtube;xkte4TY12Zk] ] *Tonight is for looseness and floating. Tomorrow, activity and comprehending what it means.
  5. Well ,it looks like my hand may be pushed faster then I think . I heard a rumour ,yes ,you have to love the rumour mill that our new building is going to be condemned . I had to talk to my boss today and yesterday she told me we plan to re-start in 2 weeks and today she tells me we don’t know what we’re doing yet . So obviously the rumour mill is true . Thank Jesus I applied for unemployment ! A friend added me to all the Facebook child care sites and buy and sells. Unfortunately, my boss is on all the childcare sites . She’s going to know my plan eventually .
  6. Hello everyone, I apologize if I start to rant but this situation has been giving me a lot of stress. To give some context I’m in a relationship with my middle school sweetheart. We’ve been dating for 6+ years, and have had our share of big ups and way downs but we always pull through healthier and better than before. This past year I’ve recently earned my dream job as a chef. It’s long stressful hours that begin early in the day and end past midnight. With only one day off it’s taken a great toll on our relationship. My gf states that I do not spend enough time with her, nor do I make any effort to do so, and that I don’t care about our relationship anymore. I can understand why she feels that way but it just isn’t true. I’m more than in love with her and I can’t imagine a life without my best friend. I tried putting in effort where it’s possible. I make my way over to hers after my shift ends and then go to work from hers. I tried taking off work to spend time with her. I call and text her constantly even during my work hours but still she acts angry towards me. Now she wants to break things off completely and tells me that I don’t care. I just want her to recognize that I’m working hard and trying to achieve my goals for us and for our future. What can I do in this situation? She isn’t willing to listen to me or allow me to fix things.
  7. I'm a woman in my late 30's and my partner is a guy in his early 40's. I've been dating him for just over three months, but I also dated him briefly 20 years ago and then lost touch with him until last year. I've been in a few serious relationships before and been engaged. He has been in one serious relationship before for about 6 years and he was married to that woman. I actually know this woman, she's an acquaintance of mine that I got to know before I ran into my partner again after 20 years. His ex-wife has really bad mental health issues and in their marriage she didn't work, didn't take any care of their pets and didn't do much around the house. My partner did everything. My partner told me that although he hadn't been diagnosed, he suspects that he has high functioning autism. I have actually noticed this because he gets sensory overload, is a fussy eater, interrupts people. But overall he's a nice and kind person and even his ex-wife only had good things to say about him and highly recommended him to me lol My partner had been very sweet to me, giving massages, cooking for me, buying gifts I like, writing me poetry and songs, making origami for me, things like that. Our sexual chemistry is also incredible and this led to an unplanned pregnancy only 2.5 months into us dating each other. Right now I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant. My partner was really happy and excited about the baby and definitely wanted to have it and be with me. We said to each other that we love each other. There is a huge problem however and that's that I feel really uncomfortable about his relationship with his mother. I think his relationship with his mother seems very co-dependent and inappropriate. His parents knocked off his grandmother's house and built two houses on the land. My partner had lived with housemates or his wife before, but thus time he moved into the house right next door to his parents to "help" them. This was just before we started dating. I straight away noticed that something was going on with his relationship with the mother. His father is from Asia but his Mum is Caucasian Westerner. The Dad has actually never been an issue, it's the Mum. Every time I was over at his house, his Mum kept coming over, usually unannounced and often not even knocking. She would just come in (the door was unlocked or she opened it with her keys). I also noticed that sometimes she came in the house while he wasn't even there. One time we went out and when we came back, we saw signs that she'd been there. She said she came in because "the dogs were barking", but she never told us about it. His Mum would also call on the phone and message often just to chat, or to ask my partner to go over to her place and help with random stuff. I want to point out that the things didn't seem urgent. One time my partner invited my friends and I over for dinner and his Mum knew we were over. She came over twice and the second time asked my partner to come over and help with something. My partner left us, his guests, for about ten minutes to go help his Mum. One time his Mum came over and rang the doorbell and we were in the middle of having sex! My partner didn't tell her it wasn't a good time but put his clothes on and opened the door to her. I have already spoken to my partner a couple of times about this and to please have boundaries with his Mum. He did speak to her and she stopped coming in as much, but she still kept doing it. I also noticed that she's messaging my partner a lot and informing her about everything he's doing, where he's going, etc. Also sometimes she buys him clothes. My partner asked me to move in with him and I felt I really needed to be honest and told him I felt about the Mum situation. My partner was visibly upset but he wasn't rude or anything like that at all. He said that living somewhere else could be an option but he didn't really seem to truly understanding how I feel. He said that in the Asian culture you have to take care of your parents when they're older. I know he grew up in Asia until his late teens. However as I said, his Mum is white Westerner. And the Asian father has not been any problem at all and never calls or comes over. My partner said he feels responsibility as the oldest child to help his parents, but he's not an only child. He's one of four siblings. I really want to make this work and especially for the baby, but I feel like there's nothing I can do? I feel like he's actually fine with this relationship he has with his mother and he's enabling it.
  8. I want to chronicle my journey, post-breakup so that hopefully ENAers current and in the future can use my story as a point of reference. I'll do my best to post here each day with how I'm feeling, doing, interactions, etc. My story? Senior in college. Mutually broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years six weeks ago. Neither of us were happy in the relationship anymore. We basically spent most of our free time together and over-time, that led to a toxic dynamic. We neglected our friends to be together. We just agreed that we loved and cared about each other and didn't want to totally ruin our dynamic by continuing at our current pace. We wanted time to work on ourselves and find happiness alone again before ever having a healty relationship again. Don't get me wrong. Our relationship was based off of a lot of love. She has still told me that she knows that she's going to marry me one day and that no one will ever treat her better than I did. Do I believe her? Well, I did and still somewhat do. No such thing as false hope because hope doesn't mean success. We've been through everything together from swine flu, to pregnancy scares, deaths in the family, mental breakdowns, hospital visits, going grocery shopping on a Friday night. We've pretty much experienced much more than you should in a 2.5 year time frame. The last six weeks? Hellish. I've asked for her back on four different occasions to only be rejected each time (Three of them were alcohol-enduced). After a few days passed by, I felt like we could handle the problems while in the relationship. Well, she didn't agree. She kept saying that she needed 'space'. So I've been in and out of NC. My longest period was for three weeks and I felt so much better. However, after I saw her at a bar and I was really drunk, I started to text her and ask for her back. This didn't go over well and I called and apologized to her today. Basically, my fear of loss has compelled me to do a lot of stupid things. I've out of character on more than one occasion. I can't cook, either. So that has sucked, a lottttt. Is there a rebound? Nope. She's not interested in dating anyone else. She has spent a ton of time with her friends, who are all single. Most were very envious of our relationship because it was so damn comfortable. Definitely could be a phase. Has she contacted me? Yep. The most recent time was last Wednesday. She texts me late at night. Like 12:30 am. And mind you, she is not a drinker. So these aren't drunk texts. These are 'I put my head on the pillow and think about you' texts. She's just a better actor than I am when disguising her feelings. I know she still cares about me. One of her last texts to me? 'I'm starting to feel like a normal person again'. Just goes to show that they hurt just as much as we do, post-breakup. Misc I removed her on Facebook awhile back. I don't take my cell phone when I go out to avoid drunk texting (bit me twice in the past). Her family absolutely loves me. Her brother still talks to me and often asks for my advice. Her mom came to visit two weeks ago and wanted to come over to see me. However, I was at work. She has 'checked in' on me a few times. I didn't really give her much information, but I didn't exactly blow her off. I feel like that is not productive if you want someone back who doesn't have a current boyfriend/fling. What Have I Done? Re-connect with old friends. Met lots of new friends. Go out, a lot. Meet new girls. Exercise like crazy. I've dropped 15 pounds over this six week period. I've really worked hard at my job and with my college work. Tried to do everything in my power to not think about her. Final Thoughts I miss this girl like crazy, but I'm slowly letting go. That's the only way you can get yourself back. I'd like to have her back someday, but not until I'm 100% happy again and she gets this whole phase out of her system. Hopefully this gave you an intro to my situation and feel free to chime in whenever. Just remember, when you love someone, you never give up. That doesn't mean you'll get them back, but if you truly love someone, you'll want them to always be happy. Your happiness, however, is always the top priority. Don't forget the push-pull dynamic. The more you push, the worse things will become. You can never 'pull' too much. The best gift you can give an ex? The gift of missing you. Go away. If you envision positive things, they'll happen for you.
  9. I have gone through this before. Im on my 4th breakup with my ex. But the worst feeling in the world is having feelings for someone who no longer wants to be with you, hang out with you, see you or call you. It happened suddenly, I was not expecting it. I feel lots of pain, and though I wont do anything stupid the impotence is so much that I just wish I was dead in order not to feel this. Help me cope please. I miss him and want to move to his city and do anything posible to make it work again, but I know he has blocked me out and that there is absoultely nothing I can do to change it. I think of him every day, all the time. Pleople are getting sick of me, and there is nothing I can do to change his mind and make him love me. Help me please
  10. Me and her been dating more seriously for 1month but sometimes we lose passion i think.And when the spark is gone somehow she starts ignoring me and be neutral about us.How should i engage with her emotions.She is a attention seeker btw
  11. Hello to the ones who will try to help me out with this one girl.Listen guys i'm really invested in this chick at the moment.Our story is so long but im gonna keep it short as possible.So we knew each other since we are 13years old and from the beginning we had some shared attraction from the both sides.Btw i was very shy back then and didnt do anything with her for 6years,but meanwhile i have girls around me have sex,dating one of her home girls,i knew she all the time likes me but she likes smth more than me,my attention i think and there is the problem,when i ignore her she become crazy and is desperate for my attention but when I give it to her then she starts to ignore me,and the answers are becoming less and more boring.Im trying to make her mine but dont know how.She is a huge attention seeker because of her father lost.Alsoo her ex boyfriend is very manipulative and this can be useful in some ways i think.Please help me out because im seriously obsessed over her!
  12. To cut a long story short I was in a serious relationship for 4 years - bought a house together and seriously talking marriage. He broke up with me citing incompatibility with what we want in life at the moment from understanding what he wants now this feels like a quarter life crisis where he's questioning himself and what he wants and making big life choices (selling our house, quitting his job, not wanting to commit to anyone and travelling for the foreseeable future). I now see he was right as I have a job and studying that I can't leave and at the moment I don't want a relationship, I want to work on myself and become the person that I want to be by pushing myself. Now he hasn't left for travelling yet so we are still tied by the house, and I've tried to set up boundaries to ensure that there's as little of this talk as possible as this is a sore spot for both of us. However, we still talk to each other at least once a week and im struggling because we still 'click' and can talk about nothing for hours. We always finish the conversation and i feel like there's so much more to say. I've asked him why he reaches out and he says its because he cares, i mean a lot to him, I'll always be close to his heart and that we are significant to each other. Now to me that sounds like someone with conflicting ties - one to freedom and adventure, and the other to love that they feel for someone. Thoughts? I've done a lot of introspection and know that where we were in a relationship last time was not at all what I wanted there was too much pressure on us and we're both in our 20s. I also know that I don't want a relationship either right now because I know I still love him and want to put myself first in my growth for now. I've asked him where he is at emotionally and he says he wants to focus on rebuilding our friendship and that he doesn't want any pressure for there to be anything romantic but that we have feelings for each other that are more than friends. My question is should I continue to keep in contact with him (he says he wants to talk on the phone once a week and text) because I'm really liking the person he's becoming and we both want and enjoy talking to each other? As a side note - We've agreed to keep checking where we both are and what we want emotionally in the future, so if we are misaligned we can pick up on it asap. Or should I cut all contact for the foreseeable for fear of being led on? Whilst cutting contact will hurt me and be very hard, I am scared that contact will keep us stuck in this position we've found ourselves in for good. And with his current life uncertainty there's no guarantee of anything in the future (but I guess that's life) - whether he'll come back it want a relationship in the future.
  13. E.g new jobs he has applied for and got, exams he has recently passed etc. He goes out of his way to tell me. Along with other signs for example, meeting my parents and general signs of showing commitment etc.
  14. Had been talking to a guy for a few months on Instagram and we slowly built up the courage to meet. He had messaged me first quite a few times before I had responded. I then realised it was a few months and I hadn't responded so I messaged him. We spoke for probably a whole month before the meeting. He has offered breakfast/study dates before too. We ended up going out for dinner. Had very good chats, seems like a really lovely guy and nothing sexual. The odd compliment, but in good taste. Some cute messages to each other, like him sending me photos of what he does for work and him telling me that he often thinks about me. He told me he was a bit nervous before picking me up. He picked me up from my house and before he got to mine, he texted me saying would I like him to meet my parents or just pick me up. He paid for dinner and it went really well in terms of chats, felt like a really caring and respectful guy, talked about family and all those nice things. One thing is that he takes great interest in my life and wants to make things easier for me (or so it feels at times), for example wanting to help me out with studying etc. He dropped me home and did not indicate anything about going back to his which was good. He asked if I would like to do this again and I said yes. When we got back to my house to drop me home, my mother was just coming home and he waited and said hello to her. He then said she was lovely. I could tell he wanted to kiss as he sort of just kept looking at me, I said something and then we kissed. He messaged me a few hours later thanking me, kept in on and off-contact for the week, he told me he was tired but good. He asked about my plans for the weekend and I did the same, he is very busy and works in the medical field. He hasn't mentioned anything about catching up again. He asked about a job interview over the weekend and I didn't respond till about 5 days later. In one of our messages, I sort of implied that I wasn’t sure when I would be seeing him next and he sent a sweet message saying he hopes to get to know me better and see where things go. That he was busy but should have more time once exams are finished and that he does want to see me again. I told him I supported him and that I don’t expect him to keep in contact. Then almost 4 days later, I sent a message saying that it appears this is all too difficult and that I’m sure he can find other willing participants but it’s not going to be me. Exam is in 2 weeks and I would have loved to have hung out with you after. I realise I have been hot and cold. In about 2 weeks I’ll have a lot more time but I’m going to ask you to wait” and then asked me if I want to study with him (this was September I believe) we wanted to study this weekend. I said after his exams is fine and he said that’s very gracious of me. I didn’t respond. I left it and gave him the space to Then about 2/3 weeks later; he asked how I am, I didn’t respond and he sent a follow up message. Anyway I don’t have much to complain about and things feel good but we’ve been extremely busy with exams and he told me he has to resit; he initiates a lot and has initiated predominately. He'll message, we'll talk for a bit and then maybe I won't respond if it doesn't require a response and then he'll send a follow up message asking about something. He asked about studying together and some other question. I responded saying after my exams which were end of last week. He didn’t respond till about 2 weeks later asking how my exam study was going. Unsure if he did this because I had done this to him when he had exams. We chatted about a week ago now about something, few laughs but nothing concrete. He hasn’t asked to see me since exams. Growing frustrated because yes I could ask him to catch up but I already indicated after my exams and they finished not this Friday but the Friday before. Find it strange too how he’ll leave the conversation for a week or so but if he messages me and I don’t respond, he would send another message. We laughed about something and that was last on the 10th, I was the last one to respond and haven’t heard anything since. Advice? Do I just give this guy up or? **TL;DR** concerned that I don’t want our momentum to be lost due to that we’ve both had stressful exams. I haven’t seen him since late August despite him offering to study with me a few times. He’s in the medical industry so obviously busy.
  15. Hello everyone, I’ve recently reconnected with my ex girlfriend after 15 years. I broke up with her when I was 17, because it was really hard to see her due to her overbearing father. I really want to be with her and start a family. She still looks at me differently than any other woman on earth. She turns into a little girl when we are together. I can truly tell she loves me, but she won’t admit it or deny it. and I believe that it’s because she hasn’t been with a man in 10 years. She told me today that me asking her to be with me was adding a lot of pressure in her life, and that I don’t know her anymore because she has changed. I told her that the pressure was because she has to step out of her comfort zone in order to be with me, and it wasn’t completely biological. All she said was “ Wow” after that, and stopped texting. I know it’s a lot of stress when dealing with her identity, but I believe that there should be more relief that we’ve reconnected, than pressure. I would give anything to be with her, even after all these years. I’m just not sure what to do…
  16. Hello there! Please I really need some other perspective thoughts and advice on the topic, cause it seems I am stuck in my own thoughts and I am starting to feel very sad about the situation, maybe overthinking it. A couple of years ago I met someone, nothing important happened between us, but we really clicked. Because of the conditions we decided to not make any advance, to call it quit, cause we started living very far away from each other, but kept the contact, like two times per year, just for important occasions. The think is that I did not like that guy when I met him as much as I like him right now, I have developed feelings during this time we have not seen each other. Anyways it has been difficult to meet during these years, but we have discussed it once, like maybe we could just meet, but to my opinion I am falling for him more, maybe he has changed his mind since when he said we could meet, and it has passed a long time since then (it was not possible because of covid). I feel like he is the type of guy I want to be with in the future. Now the part of the story is that, during covid, I met someone else right here where I live, I just wanted a distraction, I didn't want anything serious with this guy I met, actually I have said this since on the first date. Anyways it has been 3 months we are seeing each other, we are spending almost every weekend together, creating a good connection, but not getting in contact during week, cause this is the way I wanted to keep things with him, and it seems he was ok with this. I did not want to have a stronger bond with him, cause it is going to be difficult to call it over at the end. I have it clear in my mind he is not the guy I see the future with, but he is so good, so empathetic, so understanding, It breaks my heart I may hurt him, cause I have reached this point, where I have a great weekend with him, and feel destroyed after each weekend because I dont know how to end this. I have told him I am in love with someone else, and he has said I am free to do whatever I want, but the fact that I am with him now is for a reason according to him, and that the other guy I am in love with is not in love with me according to the guy I am dating. The problem is I cannot stop crying cause I talked to him about this and he seems to be attached to me. I cannot help myself, cause I didnt want the thing to reach till this point. I feel like I have used him just to make myself feel better for a short time and now that we are till here, I cannot say to him I do not want to continue. Actually I like being around him, we have a lot of fun, but I cannot compare him with smn I am in love with. I feel so bad cause I feel I may hurt him. And also he has had such a difficult life, and he tries alwas to make me happy and to be happy apart from what he has passed during life. He tries to adapt to my needs and necessities so much. I feel guilty and also I dont know if I could be able to enjoy now a new relationship if it comes with the guy I have loved, cause I will be thinking about how I hurt this guy. It is my fault for bringing the thing this far, I dont know how to escape from this without hurting him. But I also want to see him, I want to hug him like a friend so much and tell him I am sorry. OMG he seems like he really loves spending time with me, how am I going to do this.\ I dont know what to do, but whatever thing I may do now will hurt me. If I say to him this is over I am going to hurt him and myself because I didnt want things to go this way. I prefer him doing smth bad, like cheating on me or something, so that I can feel free of this guilt. Is there any advice on what would be the right thing to do? As per the guy I have meet some years ago I am not sure is he is still into me but I still have feeling for him. Thanks.
  17. Well I have not had contact with my EX-GF for almost a year now! I am glad that there is distance between us, because us keeping in touch was not for the right reasons. But lately I have been curious about what she is doing and where she is at. I have decided for my own best intrest I am not going to contact her, but would talk to her if she ever contacted me. I do care for her greatly, and will always love her, for what we had. Infact I would love for her to call me just so we can catch up...I mean I am doing great in life, and want to share that with her! But one thing that keeps popping up in my head is the thought that our paths will magically cross again. Last I heard from her she was living in a different State than myself.....but I run into people from my past all the time, and feel like we are going to run onto eachother as well......How many of you believe that paths always do cross again? or is it just me?? any advice or comments?
  18. i'm almost shaking too much to ... to type this.. i don't .. want to die.. but it's killing me to live like this.. i ... i can't live without my mikey. i can't live with everybody.. hating me... because i can't do any thing. i can't be with them, i can't be without them.. i can't even cut myself right now.. this knife's too dull... and i.. i don't want to.. but i dont' know what else to do.. please.. tell.. me .. what to do.. i'm sorry... i've... calmed down some now.. whew..... ok.... but when you're rocking back and forth, whispering to no one in particular, "dream with me baby" and begging, ..... you know there's something wrong with your head. heh. as for my m... heh. as for that guy. he... i supposedly spoiled his plans for seeing me, because my parents are butt holes, and won't let me see anyone from anywhere. that and this part i didn't tell him, i can't see him yet because i haven't had that ... weird.. "sexual reassignment" crap done yet. so... yeah. he got mad, because i can't go visiting him and whatever, i spoiled his plans. me. my fault. i'm trying to ... fix my body, i'm bleeding for him (yes, i'm a cutter, i'm not going to say it any prettier.) i'm crying for him, i'm doing everything i can to speed up the whole change process, and... he... frack. i'm just... blown away. he's mad at me. the only one i've ever loved so hard, so... much. and he just.. walks away. just tosses it away. for what? nothing. i'm sure he's just as hurt, but he doesn't understand ...why. i'm just.. at a loss as to where to go from here. i was living day to day based on him. when i'd see him next, what i'd do, where i'd go.. what i'd do after high school... i changed my entire life plan around just for him. i suppose this is heard here often, but i'm not used to it. i've only had one other bf before (both online.. yeah, real stable.) and.. he just left one day and never came back. so... that was a kick in the pants, let me tell you this. i just.. don't know what to do. i honestly felt like dying. still do, but with much MUCH more sarcasm. man... i just need some help with.... how to... deal with this garbage. and i dont' mean "breakup advice" because that's not where i want this to go.
  19. This is my first post, but I've been reading the forum for a while, and I'd love to get some feedback. Background info- my b/f and I are both 29 and have been dating for 6 months. We met through a mutual friend, and slowly built up a friendship over 4-5 months, and then both admitted there was something more there and have been dating exclusively ever since. We have a lot of common interests- we both ski, run, camp, and just generally love the outdoors. We both have pretty demanding jobs but still manage to spend a lot of time together. I love this guy to death, but lately I have been at the end of my rope, because of one issue- his constant criticism and nitpicking. On big issues, he is awesome. He's faithful, loving, and a good guy. But he is constantly picking at me for little things. If I make dinner, he is appreciative, but also sure to offer some criticism of the meal. If I happen to be the one driving, he is constantly nitpicking (you should have gotten over sooner, you should have taken that other exit, it's faster, etc.) He even nitpicks about things that have NO effect on him- (why did you buy XXX brand of running shoes? They suck. Or, you talk to your mom 4 times a week? That's nuts.) Last night he came over (we don't live together) and I got a mini lecture because my ice cube trays were all empty!! I have tried, a few times, to talk to him about it, but he laughs it off. I have tried to tell him that it bothers me when he is picking at me, but he tells me that it isn't criticism, it's "support". The only time it really seems to sink in for him is when I said "What if when I came over to your house, I started making little comments about how you could do X and Y and Z better. Wouldn't that bother you?" He admitted that it would, but he does not seem to be able to stop. Some more background info- I was raised in a very loving household with parents that I am very close to. His dad, ironically, is a super critical person and my b/f has very limited contact with him as a result of this. I seriously don't know what to do about this- thank God I am a confidant person, or all this criticism would have made me loony! As it is, I am questioning the relationship. My family and friends are great and supportive about me and my life, and this is my first experience dealing with a situation like this. Can he stop? And what can I do to make him realize how much this is damaging our relationship?
  20. My gf loves to dance and she sees noithing wrong with dancing with other guys. i see evertyhng wrong with it, right now we are having problmes becuase she wants to dance and i cant handle it just cant, so i told her either u choose me or dancing, was that the right thing to do?
  21. Hey I've been goin out wit my boyfriend for just over a year now and im a bit worried that things r starting to change between us. At the beginning of our relationship, everyday we spent together id come home smiling and we'd always txt each other about wot a great time we had. Now when we go out together we still hav a gud time and that, but hardly ever say how we feel about each other. I mean I still really love him Im just worried all the excitement in our relationship has gone already. He hardly ever tell me he loves me or complements me anymore , and I don't think he misses me as much wen I go to university as he used to (im at university 2hrs away from home but see him most weekend) I sometimes worry he maybe starting to loose interest. This is my first long term relationship so I don't kno if they always go this way. Just wondering if anyone could give me advice plz
  22. I don't understand ANYTHING or ANYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am really upset right now so excuse me. My mother goes and calls my ex and talks to her tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then doesn't understand why I am upset! I told her that she crossed a line and I didn't like it( i was gone out to play pool with my brother at the time) What is wrong with her?????????? I have enough STUFF to deal with to not worry that she is gonna call her.....I am doing all I can not to after she has been such a bit*h to me!!!!!!!!! Why does she not understand????????? Then she comes to me telling me that Misty still loves me(and she is already seeing someone else 2 days after we break up.... come on give me a break) what was she thinking??????I soooooooooooooo feel like I am her mother and she is my daughter!!!!!! I love my mama but WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?????????????
  23. From The Corner of Her Eye Little woman Bright blue eyes Meeting a pair of green Beautiful man Beautiful girl Several years in between But love blinded numbers A happy seventeen and twenty-four Lost a difference of six And soon lost them quite a bit more So love, it fell Crushed—forced to die Yet still she loved From the corner of her eye A new 'love' manufactured By those far wiser than she But it wasn't the same It never would be Though quietly she succumbed Watching life pass her by Sure, she was living From the corner of her eye A beautiful wedding A teary-eyed bride A family watching A family with pride The baby, it came A beautiful girl with green eyes She didn't look like 'Daddy' An unwelcome surprise Mother didn't say sorry Quietly she left without attempting to deny She saw the anger in her family From the corner of her eye They traveled for a while—years Then happened upon a grave Mother looked defeated Which made the girl afraid After that things were different Mother didn't smile anymore Mother looked older So much older than before Soon the girl couldn't stand to watch To face her mother straight on Seeing her like that made her cry So she silently took it all in Bit by bit From the corner of her eye A girl grows to a woman A woman—she grows old And summers fade to winters Leaving warmth to fall to cold An old woman lost to sickness A young lady all alone Nothing left to hold on to And no family of her own She walks to the old gravesite A perfect place to say goodbye She knows it's time to stop living From the corner of her eye
  24. It is a part of life to change.....it is just one of the BIG inevitable parts of life that if you try to ignore or deny, you are gonna fail. "Roll with the punches" and "change with change" this issue of change is a struggle with me right now and I am seeking truth and reality to my feelings. I do believe that what is inside of me right now is my heart and soul trying to cope with change. More specifically, personal change. I am not the same as I was 1,2,3 or even 4 years ago! I have grown up radically....grown out of old behaviors, habits, and matured drastically. Life has givien me that gift. I have discovered so much about myself that it has casued me to build a great love for who I am as a person and now I just want the discovery to keep on going!! I am finally comfortable with who I am and I feel independent but, I am not ready to settle in with myself yet or anyone. I feel as if the world is my playground and I havent even ridden the swings yet or gotten to the monkey bars! Once I can get off of this merry-go-round I think I will see how much more fun the other rides can be too. WHen I say rides, I mean experiences. I have been wth my guy for 3 years now, that is a great achievement. IS it wrong to think its possible that I have gotten all I can from him and it is time to move on? I like the philosophy that "you encounter the significant people in your life for some reason, and that they are there for some reason etc...." LIke when someone close dies or just goes away, that is when you truly see the impact the person had on you and you see gift they left while they were a significant part of your life. When the time comes to break up with my guy, things will get put into perspective and life will go on. The hard part is breaking up after so long and after such an enourmous amount of love and effort that built the relationship....how does one go about this?? Why let it go? THis is part of my struggle. I am honest with my guy about my feelings....he in turn listens, but then seemingly tries too hard to make me happy and fill the void that my desires have created in the relationship. I have love for him, and i will always appreciate him, but I don't want to hurt him. ON the contrary, I feel like I am hurting him more by being with him and denying my heart. Any advice please.
  25. Girls what are some things that drive you crazy. Positions certain spots or whatever. Guys do you all have any advice. How can I hold out longer. Do girls like guys with hair all over or should I shave or what? Do you guys have any links that would help. Soon my first time and I don't want to here any of that stuff about if they love you it wont matter. We don't love each other, we just think we are both extremely hot. well thanks.
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