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About Me

  1. Well ,it looks like my hand may be pushed faster then I think . I heard a rumour ,yes ,you have to love the rumour mill that our new building is going to be condemned . I had to talk to my boss today and yesterday she told me we plan to re-start in 2 weeks and today she tells me we don’t know what we’re doing yet . So obviously the rumour mill is true . Thank Jesus I applied for unemployment ! A friend added me to all the Facebook child care sites and buy and sells. Unfortunately, my boss is on all the childcare sites . She’s going to know my plan eventually .
  2. We've been together for 7 years, with two children, son was 6 and daughter was 2. My wife started attending a boot camp in Irvine CA. One month later she established a password on her IPhone and notebook. She was getting and writing messages while I can't see it. Once I walked in to kitchen and saw her rapidly closing one tab on safari browser. She started spending a lots of time in the front of the mirror and wearing sexy clothes before she went to gym. Every Thursday when her trainer was having day off she would come back from "gym" not sweaty and with all her makeup in tact. Finally i ran on to her facebook messages with her personal trainer Jose: Him: "You smell so good, I still have it on me", Her: "I'm so sore this morning, I can barely move, you killed me:)))". Then later she accidentally called me through Skype, I did not answer by some reason, Long message was left with all the details while having sex in her car that I bought for her. I have posted screen shots of all facebook messages on boot camp facebook page. Owner of camp contacted me and promised to take some action. But nothing was done. Jose's popularity among female customers was too high, and he never fired him. I filed divorce withing 15 days. Jose is still employed by the boot camp, my children went through hell due to separation of parents. Can anyone advice what is the best legal action i can take against this personal trainer? Thank you.
  3. Title of this thread is the same as my blog... except the after dark part. I added After Dark because I most likely will write about things here that I don't write about in my Blog. Here I am anonymous... there I'm not. So, now it's time to work my nerves a bit... To M... Posting on facebook that you started your rag... Really? While your at it why don't you just post pics of some used tampons for all our enjoyment. To B... The things you do that used to annoy me so much are starting to annoy me less and less. But, it's not that I've had a change of heart and see the error of my ways or anything... It's just that I CARE less and less. Also to B... While you are sitting on your ass talking/typing about all the things you want to do, I am actually out doing the things I want to do. But you continue to criticize me. To AZ, Would you be my friend at all if I didn't make good money? I love hanging out with you, but anymore every time I see you you expect me to spend it on you. To A... this isn't working my nerves. But I still want to say it. Thank you for making me feel the way you have these last couple days.
  4. I know that everyone is different and what may be forgivable to one may not be forgivable to the another, But I am curious what things do you think are forgivable (whether that forgiveness comes right away or takes time) or is just so bad that no time can mend the wound, I recently lost a friend, I lost her for basically two reasons I overdid it and sent two many messages and texts and she blocked me, That may or may not be unforgivable, What I do think is unforgivable however is what I did AFTER that I was desperate to move on but I just had to make sure she at least saw a letter I wrote so I opened up an old facebook I closed and posted it on her wall (I said nothing bad but that does not matter) and she and I no longer speak to me. I did walk up to her after 3 weeks of no talking and told her that I am sorry (Nothing else I was afraid I would take away from the apology and I said I know you never want to speak to me again and I will leave you alone.(The next day something weird happened because she smiled at me and I awkwardly smiled back but said nothing and I am going to keep my promise and leave her alone; BUT MY STORY WHICH I POSTED ELSEWHERE IS DONE I used what happened to me (Well more to the point what I did wrong) as an example of things that are forgivable and not forgivable. So What DO YOU think is forgivable and what is not? Have a great day
  5. So i've recently met a girl who i currently have strong feelings for. Lets call her N. She's my sister's classmate at university and i've seen her around for a little over a year but hardly ever talked etc as i had a gf then.. but since then ive become single. So anyway.. this all began about a month ago. My sister invited her to my bday party. I added her on FB and we began to hit it off. She would drive everyday to our office (where i work) every single day for 2 weeks even though she hated driving and just hung out with my sister studying or whatnot in my sisters room while i work. Messaging pretty much 24 hrs a day on FB - instant responses from her. Then day 2 of chatting, my sister told me she had a online bf (overseas) but told me that N likes me. I called her out on this and told her that i dont date girls with boyfriends and ended our conversation. She was upset and a day later, she messaged me to tell me that she had broken things off with him as it wasnt going to work out anyway due to distance. So then came out first date, dinner & movie. After the movie i asked if she wanted to go home, she declined so i took that as a sign. We went for a night walk up a mountain, i grabbed her hands and she held her arms around me. I then kissed her and she kissed me back. However she told me she wanted to takes thing slow.. real slow. We ended up going for more dates after, kissing everytime she came around and eventually met and had dinner with her grandma etc. No sex was involved although i did try to push it a little. Maybe this was my mistake. She has always asked for me to move slow and i was more than willing to but when she says things like "if you do meet someone else who has something i dont, then go for it". I asked her "so you want this to be a casual thing? and i could go out and bang another chick while still doing this with you?". She said no, if she knew, she would end this. This made me even more confused. About two weeks ago, she said " i think we should end this, everything is messed up, im sorry, you deserve someone who knows what they want. We can still talk whenever though". I told her i respected her decision and accepted it but wondered why this is. She said because we dont see things eye to eye (pace of the relationship) and therefore not suited for one another even though she previously acknowledged that we got along great and she likes spending time with me. I sent her a fb message maybe about 5 days of NC to tell her how i felt, that i was gutted how i may have ruin things by moving things to fast and also apologising that i may have made her felt uncomfortable at times. I said this because i found out previously, that she was complaining to my sister that i had "force" myself onto her in which i called her out on it and asked her if kissing her really made her feel uncomfortable. She said it didnt make her uncomfortable but "there was too much of it". She told me previously that it took her 6 months to kiss her last boyfriend (not the online bf cos shes never met him). After i've sent the final message last tuesday, she hasnt talked to me at all maybe due to exams and has not visited our office since. I do really miss hanging out with her but i know it might be all over for her. Im just really shocked from how she went from being into me (like a crush) to like nothing in such a short time. i know two weeks is short and i will continue to do NC but i know it will be inevitable we will see each other quite soon. Any advice would be appreciated.
  6. My wife recently admitted to me about her kissing another man. The guy she kissed they knew each other growing up. They started talking through Facebook and turned into a every day thing checking up on one another. She went out with some friends girls night out. They were at a bar and happened to see him there. Her fiend left and she stuck around and hung out with him. As they were saying good bye he kissed her and she didn’t stop him. She explained it was a quick peck on the lips. The next day she change her number and deactivated her Facebook and never spoke to him again. What should I make of this situation?
  7. So I met this woman through A dating app about a week ago. Shes a foreigner who lives in another country but She put on her profile that she’s currently living in my city so I messaged her and we chatted it up on the app. Really fast responses showing a lot of interest then she told me to add her on Facebook. I added her and we were messaging non-stop on fb messenger. She seemed really interested in me cause even when I wouldn’t respond, she would double text. Consistent good morning and good night texts from her with the kiss emoji. Anyways she told me how she wanted to visit my city and maybe move here so I told her I’ll get a room for us and I’ll show her around and she was really excited. She even told me things like she wants to start working out so she can look sexy for me and stuff. She sent me selfies of herself and voice memes which was pretty sweet Yesterday I noticed how she changed her profile pic on the dating app to a new one and on the app it shows how they are online/offline. Anyways I sent her a good morning text and she replied back with good morning and I jokingly said I had a dream of her with a wink face. Note she currently isn’t working due to Covid and few hours gone by and no response but she’s online on the dating app so I’m assuming she’s chatting with other guys. She usually responses back right away and even sends a double text. She finally texts me back about 10 hours later with a distant “hey what’s up” after that last text I sent her when I said I had a dream of her but i was just being flirty. I haven’t responded to her as I want to know what actions I should take? Should I mirror what she does or be myself? Like I want to message back but what she did yesterday sort of blew me away . Any advices guys?
  8. Hello Everyone I recently helped my husband with an issue with his instagram, which was linked to his facebook account. A while later, when I wanted to go into my own facebook I saw I was still logged into his and there was a message from a childhood friend he had recently reconnected with. The message was a call log of a video call that happened a few days before, past 3 am, and it was 21 minutes long. Naturally I wondered why they would be having this video call at that time. I didn't even know what this lady looked like yet and only saw her face for the first time from her profile picture that was attached to the message. I looked at this message a long time and then decided to ask my husband what the situation behind it was. Now, I didn't expect anything dodgy, so didn't even think to take a screen grab of it, but almost as soon as I sent him this message via whatsapp, the facebook message I was looking at disappeared. He denied having the video call and said he doesn't phone people at that hour. He is currently stuck working overseas because of the Corona lockdown. The lady lives in the same country as us, a short drive away. He also quickly changed his facebook password, in case it was hacked. I don't know what hacker would have a video call with the hacked person's friend, but okay. When I saw the message disappeared I was naturally concerned and we had an argument about it, to the extent where asked this lady to message me. I received a message from her assuring me that my husband has always just been like a big brother to her and that she loves her husband and kids very much. Both of them assumed that I was accusing them of an affair. The lady implied it and my husband out right said it. I think that is a natural assumption considering the circumstance. She said her facebook account was hacked recently and she has two accounts. I told her the about the profile pic that was attached the the message and she then confirmed that this was the original hacked one apparently. She also said that she is too tired from her treatments to stay up so late. She has cancer. And according to my husband, it is not very optimistic. This is what makes me feel so bad. This lady is sick, and could quite possibly die and I am concerned about this video call that mysteriously vanished. My husband says that sometimes technology glitches but this, to me, is way to specific to be an error in programming. Am I overreacting? Edit: Addition, Both of them said they use whatsap for messages and not facebook messenger. This lady was extremely friendly to me over the messages and said she really wanted to meet me before. She mentioned my wedding anniversary date, and a few things my husband has done recently so they definitely talk. Both of them said they didn't know anything about the video call and denied it as if it was just some facebook mistake.
  9. I've been seeing musicians streaming their music on facebook for free, or with tip jars. And as a patron I am really starting to miss going to gigs (different genres to what the ones inclined to live stream play). I'm a sound tech by trade too, so wrangling together some bands and the equipment to make a high fidelity mix to broadcast is certainly within my means (frankly I would rather include a lighting show too if the market supports it). So my mind wanders to trying to activate venues that are currently closed for closed to the public/live streamed concerts. But I would want to pay a hire fee, and I'd want to pay the bands, and I'd want to pay myself. Which makes me wonder if people would be willing to pay for a ticket (like $10 same as a live show would cost). But then you are still gambling on them feeling like attending on the day, so then i wonder if maybe actually crowd funding would be a good format for making such a live stream manifest? So I put this question out there into the universe. Did you used to go to gigs or would you like to go to gigs? Do you miss seeing bands play enough to participate in crowd funding live streamed shows? (Still I would think pretty cheap, $10 buy in) I think I would like the live stream to be something that could also host a chat function so the people watching can interact and those who can't make it during the live broadcast should be able to access the video after the fact.
  10. It seems odd that what seems an otherwise continued communication would halt. I mean maybe i was thick headed and wasn't seeing the sign of an eventual stop. The communication was usually as follows: i would text a few rounds and the other party wouldn't get back until a week later. The reason he gave was because he was busy with work. Then on the last time, I sent him a photo of me and updated my facebook messenger profile photo. Nothing else seems to have been drastically changed as the content in communication was more or less the same. Could it have had anything to do with the photo? Its now on the third week and i am thinking i might not hear from him again. Is it possible to just give it time? I don't know what to do here. Part of me wants to keep texting, but the other part of me wants to not text because that could annoy anyone. Please give advice and suggestions. I'm at a lost with this one and fear the worst.
  11. Cut long story short, I felt pretty low the other day, I felt lonely and just depressed.. so I messaged my boyfriend and told him I felt a bit ty. I didn’t tell him the ins and outs because he usually gets upset because he blames himself for my mental health even though I’ve told him it’s not his fault, so now I just let him know and leave out the details. I later put a Facebook status about my depression and stated that if anyone else was struggling that I’m only a message away. His mum seen it later that day and asked him what was wrong, but he didn’t know I put it on because he doesn’t have Facebook, he told his mum he didn’t know and that I was being “retarded”. He then messaged me saying “nice facebook status btw” then went on to complain about it. I went to his house after that and a huge argument broke out about it, he said that he didn’t understand how I could say I can’t talk to close people about it but can post it to a lot of strangers and called it pathetic, he also said “carry on posting things like that on Facebook i’d Rather not know you” and he also managed to punch some furniture and it toppled over he was that raging. I was very upset obviously with me already feeling in a low mood, but I was stood there in shock. He has since apologised and told me he didn’t mean it and that his own head gets to him and that he feels like he’s trying his best with me and getting nowhere. However I keep thinking about it and wondering whether I’m actually in the wrong? He has always had a temper, few weeks ago he got angry and didn’t tell me why so I was asking him what was wrong and he ended up ripping the curtain rail off of the wall. Other times he’s the best boyfriend and does look after me, and for the record he’s never laid a finger on me. I just dunno how to manage situations like that.
  12. Okay, so I've been dating this guy for 2 years. Throughout these last 2 years several things have happened that have caused trust issues. He lied about still being married for the 1st year, and I found out about it because his mom spilled the beans in casual conversation when his divorce was final. He kept a Facebook that wasn't exactly appropriate, posting gym selfies and having lots of women friends love and comment inappropriate things, posting pictures on attention seeking threads, recieving inappropriate private messages, posting inappropriate "single guy" memes. I would call him out on all of it and he would say he never responded or gave these women attention, but it still always felt disrespectful to our relationship. He finally after a year posted pictures of me and changed his relationship status to in a relationship, but women still posted things on his wall that I felt were disrespectful to our relationship. Facebook has always been a huge issue and I kept bringing it up so about 6 months ago he broke up with me for the 1st time cuz I couldn't let the Facebook thing go. Of course the day after we broke up he deleted me completely from his Facebook and put it back to single. But he always told me I had nothing to worry about on Facebook....I didn't believe it. Still don't. We continued to breakup and get back together 4 times. This last time was because I was at his house at midnight and his phone goes off, when asked about who it was he fumbled on his words, I asked him to show me his phone and he said he deleted the message. Anyway after getting it out of him, turns out ( allegedly) he gave his phone number out to a woman at a bar when he went out to smoke a cigarette and I was still inside at the bar. I WAS THERE!! The amount of disrespect is ridiculous!! And they had been texting each other back and forth a couple of days. He says it was completely innocent and he doesn't even remember her name. I don't believe it but I have no proof otherwise. Anyway we broke up and didn't speak for 3 days and I was sitting at home on a Friday night feeling real sorry for myself and rejected and not wanting to be home alone because I would normally be with him on a Friday night so I went out and got really drunk and went back to hotel with a guy. Obviously I was in a lot of pain and being self-destructive. I regret it for my own self esteem. Needless to say, my ex contacted me a couple days later and we started talking about getting back together. At the time I didn't feel the need to tell him about my one-night stand yet. I told him that I was not interested in the relationship that he was offering me before because that led him to stepping out on the relationship and he said that the whole reason we've been having problems these last two years it's because he's been scared and not fully committed because he's been burned and cheated on by both his ex-wives. Yes he has two Ex-Wives and they both cheated on him. Allegedly. So he gave me a commitment ring for Christmas and said that when he can afford an engagement ring he will give me that because now he's fully committed in this relationship and he's going to prove to me that I can trust him. So we wiped the slate clean and were having a fresh start. And it's been a good three weeks. Fast forward to yesterday, I don't know what brought the conversation up but he basically flat out asked me if I was with somebody when we were broke up and I couldn't lie. So I told him the truth. And now I feel like he is being a hypocrite. I know that one of the times we broke up the next day he joined a dating profile ON FACEBOOK, WIERD! and communicated with a few women but he claimed it never went further than a few texts. One of the times that we broke up that next day I know he went out and partied atvs bar and in a drunken moment I went and knocked on his door in the middle of the night and I know he was home and he didn't answer the door and I could swear I heard a woman's voice in there but he is taking it to his grave that he was home alone. My problem here is that I really don't feel like I did anything wrong. We broke up because of something he did and I didn't think I was ever going to hear from him again. So I had a low and self-destructive drunk one night stand that didn't mean anything and now he feels like he can't get the image of me with another man out of his head and he doesn't know if he can get past this. It's like hes holding me emotionally hostage! I feel so bitter because of all the things that I've forgiven and all of his lies that I have looked past these last two years and he wants to hold my ass to the fire about this. Am I wrong? He says he's hurting and I get that but I feel like he needs to forgive me and stop being hypocrite and a victim. Is that harsh? What should I do. Let me add that I know there has been a lot of negative in this relationship but there has also been a lot of positive and I fell in love with him and I have kids and he has kids and we have talked about blending our families together and moving in together and all of us are involved with each other. I love his kids and he loves my kids. It's not so easy to just break it off. I really do love him and hope for a future with this man but I also have to be realistic about his toxic behaviors and how much I'm willing to tolerate. I'm afraid he's going to retaliate and our relationship seems so fragile right now as a trust is still being rebuilt. What should I do?
  13. Hello, im new here and I really need advice from some outsiders that are completely non bias to me, my partner and our situation, this is long, and sounds crazy but please let me know your honest opinions.TIA. My partner and I have been seeing each other since July of 2016, at the time we were working the same place, saw each other every day but we only hung out here and there outside of work, we got a little closer later on in 2016 and in the beginning of 2017 until about may when we just completely stopped talking to each other until around October. I was aware that he had been dealing with another woman since pretty much the time I started talking to him, however they were not in a relationship, even she had admitted that to me, although she claimed to have been in love with him. I assume during the time we stopped talking he was dealing with her much closer than before and I respected it, I wasnt in love with him at that point anyway. Anyways we started talking again in October of 2017 and from that point on we just got closer and closer, by the time January of 2018 he was pretty much at my house, day and night for weeks on end, he'd go home to his own place for a couple nights then come back and be with me for another long stretch of time. We were never technically in a relationship as a couple and we both knew this, however, we acted as though we were a couple, you wouldnt have been able to tell any different. Hes a great guy, he is wonderful to my kids he treats them as his own, he takes on responsibilities that do not belong to him when it comes to them, and anything else in my life, helps out financially without being asked, he really is a good guy, not perfect by any means but a good person. So in July of 2018 I noticed this same female from before putting hearts on his Facebook and I questioned him about it just wanting to know if he was still dealing with her, of course he denied so I reached out to her, long story short he had still been seeing her on occasion but I guess from what she had said he had pretty much almost stopped dealing with her altogether but was still feeding her crumbs every now and then just to keep her around, after I confronted him about it he stopped talking to her altogether(according to her) and was solely dealing with me and we continued our usual,him being with me everyday and night and this continued all the way until I would say August of this year. Of course during that time we became extremely close, we had a bond and a connection, I fell in love with him, he said he loved me as well, he was my best friend. We did everything together. O and this female he was dealing with had gotten pregnant in August of 2018 and was claiming it was his baby up until this September when they took a DNA test and it was determined not to be his. Also in September of this year we had woken up one morning I had noticed that I had 17 missed calls on my FB messenger from this female, I told him, I called her back myself on my way to work she told me he had recently started contacting her again, wanting to hang out etc. Blah blah blah so fast forward to that same day when I came home from work he had decided that he wanted me, the other girl and him to all be in a relationship together and basically if either of us didnt want to then we could just take a hike. I was completely and utterly devastated. Eventually after a lot of tears and talk I reluctantly agreed because I do love this man. Now it's been a struggle, jealousy of course. She feels jealous because she says I'm the woman he had chosen over her and I completely understand that and I could see why she could be hurt. However on my end, and I try to get the both of them to see my point, is that I was the one who was getting all his time, attention, efforts, we used to just talk and talk for hours about everything, our future, I woke up with this man day in and day out, the sex was absolutely amazing simply because of the passion and love that we had.now everything is changed, I've got to share him so now I never get any alone time with him, we barely talk and when we do its arguing because im so hurt deep inside that I feel like he just ripped away everything I had with him to bring this female into our situation which makes me feel like he must be in love with her since he was willing to lose my for this. We dont vibe the way we used to, we constantly bicker and fight, he talks to me in ways he never did before and idk if it's because I'm always so angry and sad because I've lost what I myself had with him, now we all spend time together, sleep together, I feel as tho he is closer to her, they talk and laugh, and she doesn't seem hurt at all about anything which why would she now? Shes got him back and he basically decided to bring her into this and was willing to let me go for it...but they both always tell me I have no reason to be sad, im the one he gave his everything to for the last 2 years so now I'm just being spoiled and selfish because I just want him to myself, which ultimately of course I would like that, but truthfully I dont even mind being in this type of relationship its just that I dont feel like me and him are connected the way we were and that's what hurts the most, I feel like if him and me could put that back together then I could do this with no problem, but he says he doesnt feel like.anything has changed between him and I. Idk what to do I really don't, I dont want to let go but I can't watch the man I love be in love with another woman. Any advice? Please, it doesnt matter what it is I just really need someone else's opinion on this situation, thank you.
  14. I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and was moving on nicely until a month later a saw that my ex was in a relationship on facebook. I suddenly felt obligated to warn her. He blocked me on facebook shortly after (probably to keep me quiet), and I blocked his number. I feel that I should message his girlfriend and warn her of the abuse I experienced and to look for signs. Should I go forward with the message or leave it be?
  15. I recently tried to log in to my boyfriends facebook, and succeeded. I found out he hangs around with a load of people that are heavy drug users. He is clearly involved but when hes around me acts all inncoent and naive to drugs. I m very annoyed because I'd rather he but upfront and honest with me. I dont know whether to confront him about or if it would make things worse because he willfind out that I have been snooping. I 'm not completly against drug use Im just looking out for his safety and I dont like being made to look like a mug Please help
  16. Hi everyone. So I've been talking to this girl for about 4 months on Facebook (met on a dating site) via messages. We've had 2 phone calls recently which we both seemed to like. I asked her if she wanted to have a video chat date with me and she said she doesn't think she is ready for that and she doesn't like video chats. I don't know how she feels about me, but I have feelings for her and would like to talk another way in addition to just through FB texting. We both live in different countries and meeting up isn't really an option anytime soon. Does anyone have any advice on how I can try to connect with her other than texting since she said she doesn't like /not ready for video chatting? And how can I find out if she has feelings for me without making her uncomfortable?
  17. I can get long winded, so I'm going to try my best to keep this short. Plus, I don't want to give away too many details, in the off chance that he reads this post. (I did put a TL;DR at the bottom.) I met a guy via an online game, and I'm not sure what to think of our relationship. We haven't met in person, but I've seen his photos and Facebook profile; and we've done voice chat a few times. I'm going to call him Guy. Guy and I first started talking because we are both in the same guild. The guild has a Discord channel, so we mainly chat in there. (I've known Guy a little over a year.) Initially, I bantered with Guy...but we ended up creating an ongoing joke between us which led to chatting more often. I never considered it to be more than casual talk. Side note: I never spoke on a mic in Discord. I would just text chat. He would joke all the time that I needed to get a mic. (Sometimes, I wondered if he was slightly obsessed about it?) Fast forward, Guy ended up private messaging me that he enjoyed talking to me and wanted to chat more than casually. Somewhere in the conversation, Guy confessed that he was lonely and hadn't been in a relationship for several years. It began to feel as if he were looking for a girlfriend. I wondered if Guy was only taking interest in me out of convenience (being one of 4 known girls in the guild) and desperation, so I asked about both. Guy said no; he said he didn't love me or anything. I explained and made it clear that I wasn't looking for a relationship since I couldn't handle one at the moment. Guy said he was slightly disappointed; but honestly, he just wanted to get to know me better. We agreed to be friends. Since then, Guy and I have been talking as friends for over a month. We've really spoken a lot within the last 2.5 weeks. Since we became friends, Guy has told me a lot about himself and past relationships. He's even sent photos and shared his Facebook profile. I told him I didn't feel comfortable adding him or sharing photos of my face and explained my reasons. He was fine with that, but hoped I might show my face in the future. He did seem to push about voice chatting though, and I gave in. I finally started voice chatting with Guy a week ago. Not only that, we have flirted and teased with each other. Guy sent me some sexy photos, I sent him some sexy photos (no face), and then he sent me some nudes and UDPs...he's even done a few video chat "shows." I haven't done any "shows" or sent nudes. I prefer not to do that. (I've told him this, and he said it was fine.) My problem: I'm really confused about what this is anymore. Is it still simply friends? Sometimes, I'm not 100% sure that he's really interested in me as a person; I tend to carry the conversation often. I've spoken about it a few times with him, and Guy has told me I need to trust and have more faith in him and that he is interested. What's more, I feel like he enjoys sending nudes lately. More confusing...Guy will send me messages that he misses me. He's asked if I've fallen for him yet. He will often joke about me coming to live with him (since I have a not-so-great living situation right now). We've even gone into the details. And he once joked about marriage...at least, I took it as a joke. I can't figure out if Guy is forming a fantasy, getting serious, or using me to get off. A few days ago, I tried to get clarification about our relationship. I asked if we were still just friends, online friends with benefits, or e-dating. He put a laugh face and said we are "strangers that cum together"; since he hasn't seen my face, video chatted with me, nor spoken to me much via voice chat. I said I'd rather "online friends with benefits" since it sounded nicer...but later, said I changed my mind and preferred e-dating. He never replied about it. Today was odd, since it was more like a getting-to-know you/first date type of vibe. Odd, but nice. Guy said he missed me, made more of an effort to carry the conversation, and didn't mention anything sexual or send any nudes (they were starting to seem like an everyday occurrence.) TL;DR: Guy that I've known from game wanted to get to know me more. He was bummed I wasn't ready for a relationship, but said we could be friends. Has it changed into something more? I am interested, but not ready to do anything about it. He sends mixed messages. With text, he doesn't talk a lot unless I initiate; with voice chat, he talks more; he sends nudes and likes to cum for me (is he just using me?); jokes often about me moving in with him; sends me cute emoji and messages that he misses me. What's his game? Should I dial it down?
  18. This is really new to me but I’m really struggling after cutting someone out of my life. Long story short me (25F) him (28M) dated for 8 months. He was always really insecure with me being into him making comments about how I was “the girl in high school who would never have talked to him.” He was really indecisive and always blowing hot and cold. By the end he was negging me in front of his friends and what I now believe to be putting me down so I wouldn’t leave. This was also right before he took a temporary job overseas for a year. I loved him but I finally cut him off and blocked him on almost everything except Facebook where I just unfriended. I know I deserve better but I hate how things ended. I’ve been seeing signs of him/his friends on my social media and I can’t help but want him to reach out. It’s been 4 months of no contact. My friends tell me he will never reach out and to move on. But i keep holding out hope he will return. I need some honest advice here. Thank you!
  19. I am gay and my gf of a year and a half refuses to take the pictures of her ex husband off of Facebook, and it really bothers me. I have expressed this to her and her reaction after me bringing it up one too many times was to just deactivate it...? I thought that was kinda weird and just wanted to get the opinion of others.... (They were together for 11 years, 4 of which they were married.) They do have an adopted niece on his side and then she has a daughter that is not his biologically but he raised her since she was 5 (so it is her Dad). As far as the pictures in her google drive on her phone, we had agreed that pictures of the family are fine, or group photos, but ones with just them two are no longer needed.... We didn't even get to get that far with Facebook because she just immediately became super defensive and it turned into kind of a huge arguement/hostility over it. After making comments more than a few times she became irate again and went on there and just deactivated her Facebook account, leading me to feel very awkward and uncomfortable and.... like there is SOME reason she won't just take them off her page....!!!?! I told her what good does that do if you take them off of your phone but you keep them on Facebook, for everyone to see and, do they wonder what that's about, or am I just crazy??? Maybe she just doesn't want the flood of sympathy/questions or whatever and I have nothing to be worried about??? It just literally doesn't make sense to me at all.... Side note: her fb does say that we are in a relationship..... I just feel like why do I have to share the glory if she's mine then what's the big deal about taking their photos off?? I've never been married or in a longterm relationship like that so I am probably bias idk. Any thoughts or input would be appreciated.
  20. I am by no means proud to be the OW but I need some advice. My story begins back in 2014 with my co-worker. After a few months of us first meeting he added me on FB and we started chatting. He was supposedly separated from his GF and we chatted for awhile but I was enjoying the single life so we never met up and we ended up not talking as much. Then his GF got pregnant and I for sure left the picture. From here on out we continued to flirt at work but we didn't text anymore. Fast forward another year and him and the gf were having problems and we started talking again. She ended up messaging me on fb and asking me to not message him anymore so I stopped. For the next 3 years we just talked and half flirted at work but I didn't take him very seriously. Also, never met up in person outside of work. Fast forward to April of 2018 a week before his wedding he sends me a drunken fb message about how I've always been his dream girl, he thinks we are soulmates and other shenanigans. I didn't respond because I knew he was drunk. He gets married on my birthday. September 2018 he starts traveling for work and is always blowing up my phone and we start messaging every second of the day. He says he's not happy in the marriage and would leave her for me if I would give him a chance. I know...I know.. In Nov of 2018 he starts coming over after work and on his breaks. In Jan 2019 on one of our dates he tells me he loves me and wants to figure out how to leave his wife. He tells her it's over and he's not happy, gives her his ring and she asks him to move out. He tells her he is staying with grandparents but is really at my house. That same week (on valentines day) he gets cold feet and goes back to her. She gets wind it was an affair and kicks him out again 3 days later. He lasts 6 days at my house before he goes back to her. The next day he is back to texting me saying he still loves her and me but doesn't know how to leave her and their kids. We continue our affair even though he has sworn to her its over. April 1- he forgets to turn off location on his phone and is caught at my house. He moves in with me, she throws all his belongings in the yard and sends me their screen shots of him begging her back the whole time he is at my house. He brings one of his kids over to meet me, we look at houses but ultimately he breaks up with me for her again. We went a week without talking or seeing each other but now he's back to texting and we did have sex again the other day, a day before their 1 year anniversary. He says he chooses me still, wants to marry me but he just wants to make the decision to leave her on his own. She has some test results coming back and once he has those results he will give me a time frame to leave. He says there must be some reason we can't stay apart. I love him more than any man I've been with and I do want to be with him but he has went back to his wife 3 times now. Do I wait or leave?
  21. So I wrote here before about my estranged half sister, if anyone cares to read the backstory about my first contact from her: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=526758 Now I am in a very good place in life. I moved out of my family home soon after that post, to start at a wonderful job and move into my own place. After a few months of a scary adjustment period, I finally felt safe and became completely independent from my parents, who then permanently moved out of state eventually. My relationship with them improved greatly, after naturally becoming less involved in their lives while also actively distancing myself from becoming too close. I have not heard from my sister since. During the adjustment period I mentioned, it seemed to have gotten really ugly on all fronts. Our father threw around threats of violence, restraining orders, and police intervention against my sister, among other family members. He even tried to get me to sign an order against her (I didn't). After I felt secure enough about a year or so later on my own, I sent one message and a friend request to her via Facebook, which was never even read. It was the only contact I had of hers. Now I recently got a hold of her contact list; a couple of phone numbers and her current address. It was easier than I thought it would have been to obtain. Facebook made it easy to garner enough of her personal information to make it so. I guess it just took the resolve to take the leap of faith as time passed after the failed attempt, the recent holiday, and the courage to finally be ready for the sh**storm that will most definitely come. What do I say? I thought about calling. I figure a letter might get lost or unanswered; too many unknowns. A phone conversation is more direct. Does anyone have any experiences with contacting a family member in a similar situation? How did it go (good and bad)? When should I contact? What should I prepare for (my sister and parents-wise)? I have too many questions. I'm so nervous and my stomach hurts.
  22. So I’ve always had issues with jumping WAY too fast into things. I’ve recently for the past year been trying to be okay with living alone and being single (I’m usually in relationships). The guys that I usually attract are not “quality” people, so when I meet someone good my mind gets a little too far ahead of me. I recently met a guy on fb, he is in the army and lives quite a ways away with a different time zone but he’s from my area originally. We talk everyday and flirt here and there and will FaceTime now and again. It’s honestly only been about 3 weeks but I’m getting a little bit too crazy when it comes to waiting for him to reply and reading too deep and analyzing everything he’s saying. He’ll say things that reassure me that like he likes me by the things he says like “when we meet” or “when I meet you we need to ___” things like that. I’m just making myself crazy because I am very alone and trying to adjust to living as a single person in a healthy way but after months of going on awful dates and talking to guys that I have no interest in and having been recently freed from an abisive relationship I’m almost scared I’m going to “mess up” this good thing like it usually happens to me. I need to chill but don’t know how to mentally not go crazy!
  23. Dear All I broke up with my ex of 2 years, 6 months ago. Every morning I wake up missing her and comparing myself to her. She is an ambitious woman with a curvy hip and pretty, loving, caring, cheeky look on her face. I have been with 2 women before her, and according to her account she has been with 1 man, but actually often it is hard to believe that as she partied a lot in her early 20s and she also played handball in the local team semi-professionally. I think she has had some flings before me. I am 28, I graduated in business and economics, but I always wanted to have a more creative job, I have been playing music for 15 years. She is a translator, works as a translation agency project manager, studies to be a massage therapist. All these jobs and professions to me feel like she creates real connections with people, who appreciate her for that. She is the most conscientious person I have ever known. I de-value myself a lot, but I broke up with her after 2 years because I haven't been with enough women. Although I travelled Europe and North America for 3 years I haven't been flirting much, although I did have fun, just enjoying nature and talking to strangers. I think i have frustrations from my childhood, I don't want to end up like my father who has cheated on ym Mom with 6 other women, even impregnating other women while with my Mom, he was also an alcoholic and diagnosed with mental illness. So the question is, whether I made the right move to break up with her, when she definitely doesn't have so many regrets that she didn't have enough fun with other women and my main motivation is to have a bit more flings and sexual experiences. Her facebook is full of posts about being drunk with her friends in her early twenties, then she says she had enough parties. I never had a group of friends who I could go out with on a regular basis, I just had 1-on-1 beers with my buddies. I feel something's wrong with me and I might be just chasing some illusions. I still love her, but I cannot be with her like this I feel I'm living a lie, because I constantly have great lust for other women. But now the bar is set very high and the decent women who would fit me who are at least 23 and up are finding their partners and are not available. I live in a big city of 2 million people, so there are opportunities, but I am studying a new bachelor on remote education - which sometimes I feel is not even the right choice for me to change a career - I would rather go for a masters in marketing to meet like-minded similar age women. Anyways, I will try to socialize, but every morning for 6 months she came to my mind, and then I see how she is having fun with colleagues and with her new massage courses on facebook. She was deeply in love with me, she was always more in love with me then I was with her, but I love her too, it's just that I have doubts about our future. I know I am not an easy situation, but I just need some hope that I did the right thing, because I could be hanging on to her and convincing myself that she is the perfect oen for me, but I tried that and then the doubts deep down remained. Of course I wish I had more fun in my early 20s, or example I haven't asked a girl out on a date before I was 24, I lost my virginity once I was 25. I wish I could let go all these fears and frustrations, just be happy with the goofy, creative, philosophical, adventureous, spontaneous person I once was and just be glad for this woman I had in my life, without feeling jealous for her accomplishments and how she connects with others on a deep level. I try to meditate, work-out, play music, do art, go out, but sometimes nothing seems to work against feeling lonely and messed up. I have a hard time acknowledging my achievements and I keep comparing myself to that she is living without regrets, when I chose a career in business out of love for mathematics and history, but out of fear that music wouldn't provide me a living. She went after translation even though that also neither a high paying profession. I did well in my studies, but now I am really trying to shape things without wanting to meet other people's and society's expectations, just mine, it takes time. She was the first love of my life, with love, sex, our families getting to know each other, building memories and trying to plan long term (with doubts involved on both sides). I don't have a role model in my family on how a decent relationship looks like, because all relationships are a bit messed up around me in my family. She also has more friends than me, and her friends were more successful in their fields as me. I am definately overthinking and I just want to have fun. At 28 I know I am not too old to have fun still, but it can feel overwhelming to force having fun on myself. I just have to accept my past, which is not that horrible. I am still in good health, I try to eat healthy and I do some exercise ca. twice a week. I want to use my creative, manly energies, and face any difficulty without being drowned in random regrets. I am checking her facebook automatically on autopilot everyday which doesn't help, but I still love her - but I don't know if a greater love can exist out there - especially a greater love for myself. A great love would make me feel alive and not regret anything, right? Also I would have never thought that she is too square and rigid for me - although she was the one who had more fun and her main profession is more creative than mine, but still I am a musician and I am a more spontaneous person. She had her next 6 months planned in a spreadsheet all the time while I was lucky if I had a plan for my next 2 weeks.
  24. Hi guys. Some of you know my background story. Quick synopsis: I am waiting for my final divorce decree any day now after nearly 29 years of marriage. He told me that he wanted a divorce mid-May. I only have a handful of friends (4 to be exact) because all the friends that I know are spouses of colleagues that work with my STBX. I am on Facebook often and I noticed, back in August, that one person on my friends list was on. Her husband works with my STBX but we've know each other for years and I really like her. I only see her during Christmas parties because she has 2 young children (7 and 9) and has made friends with moms with kids of the same ages as hers. Anyway, I didn't want to lose touch with her and so I sent her a PM via Facebook. All I said was "I see that you're on and I wanted to say hi. Guess you heard about the divorce." She responded after a few days and said that her husband told her. She also said that she'd like to have lunch once her kids were back in school. School started the day after Labor Day. She has made no effort to contact me. In fact, if she's on Facebook and I go on, she leaves after 2-4 minutes (literally). If I happen to be on Facebook, and she comes on, she leaves within minutes. At first I thought it was a coincidence but now I keep track. I am so disappointed in her reaction. I just didn't expect that from her. So, my question is: Should I reach out to her again at some point? Or, not bother? IMO, I believe I should not bother but I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face. What do you think?
  25. Hello I am with my boyfriend for almost one year, but we experience problems because of my jealous mind. For me, every interaction with someone of the opposite sex could be considered as flirting or cheating in some way. I find myself overreacting and overthinking a lot. The result is that I question my boyfriend almost everyday about what he is doing, who he is with, if he is lying, etc. This 'interrogation' has been going on since about 2 months into the relationship. My boyfriend has been explaining and answering over and over again the same questions, but I can feel he's had enough. I make him promise a lot of things and remember almost everything he says. I compare all the promises and words to find out if he can be trusted and if he would be interested in someone else. Yesterday, I was again questionning him and found out a lie. There is a girl in his friends list, with whom he had to work in the summer. They've been friends on facebook for over 2 years, so they became facebook friends long before our relationship. I asked him a couple months ago if he added her or if she added him. He said me it was she that sent the request. Now yesterday, like always, this is one of the things that comes up in my mind and I start to question. I found out it was he that added her, so basically he lied a couple months ago. He said me that he lied for two reasons. One, because he didn't want to make me jealous, think or sad again, because it was just a friend request before our relationship and nothing ever happened between them. Two, because he didn't want drama again. He also told me that during our relationship, there have been women sending him friend requests, and he accepted only if he knew them. He has been sending two or three himself. He never likes pictures or chats with them. I would like some advice on a couple things. Firstly, do you think I am overreacting about the 'facebook friend thing' and that he lied about it? Is it acceptable to lie? Secondly, what can I do to be less jealous and trust my boyfriend more? Lastly I would like to ask two more general questions. Since I have a jealous and overthinking mind, I find it hard to trust my own thoughts, if I am being reasonable or not. I would like to know: What do you consider as flirting? What do you consider as cheating? Thank you a lot for reading and advice.
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