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reinventmyself

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reinventmyself last won the day on January 11

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About reinventmyself

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  1. I just want to reiterate the title of this post states 'visiting prostitute(s)' Not singular.
  2. At 29, you "think" you want kids? You aren't certain? Why has it been ok to coast for 2 years in your current relationship knowing your bf didn't want kids and now it might be an issue? You are 29. You better decide. Try to seperate all these issues. This isn't about a choice between 2 men. The coworkers presence is forcing you to address some possible incompatibilities with your current bf. You need to honestly ask yourself if the coworker didn't exist would you be content with a happily ever after, childless future in your current situation? Just my experience, when I let th
  3. Maybe I am overthinking this, but I think our psyches act in very interesting and complex ways . Much like criminals who feel compelled to return to the scene of crime even though they know it's a really bad and risky idea. Why? I also think disclosing something like this is unusual and I can't help but think people who volunteer these things dress them up so they aren't so shocking. It just makes me wonder what the unfiltered version is. I can think of more than one relationship, where my bf or husband seemed really transparent about the cool female coworker they are friends
  4. There are just some things I'd rather not know about my partners past. Having sex with a prostitute once 10 years ago is information I don't need to know. Am I ok with it? No. But he was likely an entirely different person 10 years ago and it has no bearing on me or our current situation. If it were more recent and more than once, that would make a difference. What does bother me here is what exactly motivated him to tell you? And is there more to this admission? That's the part I would want to know. It just has a weird feel to it and that's what brought you here. I think you sh
  5. But that is based on your version, correct? Do they know her personally? I am not going to defend your lady, but your title of your post is about her being unempathetic. Empathy is about understanding how the other person feels. Do you know how she feels? Is she surrounding herself with family and people and going out as a means to sooth her pain. Are they supportive of what she's going through? Just curious. You say she doesn't talk about the loss of her father, but I am wondering do you provide her the opportunity? The fact that got very bristley about your mention of someo
  6. I walked away and had to come back and point out his contradiction. If in the beginning 8 months wasn't long enough for him to develop feelings. And then in the end you missed the window of opportunity because women develop deeper feelings as time goes on and men don't? When exactly was he supposed to be all in? I call bs on this guy. Sorry, but true. I get the sense he just toyed with you. But you did allow it.
  7. You are not expecting enough. You listed his theories and time lines. Insert an eye roll here when he's the authority on how women work. But from where I sit he just seemed to move the goal posts every time you thought you were getting closer. This guys intentions didn't ever appear to be in the right place. He just dangled a carrot and kept your hopes up. To be honest, he also didn't have to work very hard at keeping you hooked. Next time believe you deserve better and you should never have to work this hard to get someone to love you back. Throw this one back.
  8. There are those times people will cross your path and you feel like you've known them in another life. Everything is effortless. Then the next person, the connection feels strained and awkward. Mind you, you are the same person in both scenarios. Some people just bring out the best in us. Of course we can be more open, but we often don't feel intimately connected with everyone if something doesn't inspire us to dig a little deeper. I hear you. I spent most of my adulthood being the 'nice' person and wanting to be liked. Long story short, I wasn't being genuine. I was try
  9. Grief is fickle. If you feel him pull away, let him go. One minute I wanted to talk about it and the next I just wanted to be alone. In your original post you were concerned about him not responding to your texts. I'd like to say on a normal day, it's not ok to not respond. But this isn't a normal day and don't personalize it. Just try to pick up on his queues and work with that. Don't try to make it better and if he wants to talk, just listen.
  10. At 20, it's immaturity and insecurity talking. Come back in 10 years and your partner will have the maturity to want what's best for you and no one really wants their partner to go through life lonely and alone. Not if you really love them. And at 20, you will move on. I see you trying to take back your truth, but trust me, if she died tomorrow you will move on. Eventually. I don't know how to make this better than to rephrase your truth. That you'd be devastated for quite sometime and you do not know what the future holds. If you are mature enough you might acknowle
  11. I had a sincere response to your complaint about not being heard. But with the *pay grade mention I'll change my course. Makes one wonder if there isn't something else to this that you aren't sharing. Good luck
  12. We'll, I guess it was all about the delivery. What response was she looking for?
  13. Work *things* out? You mean returning to the parent/child dynamic that is strictly on her terms? You should hope she doesn't reach out to return to the inequitable exchange where you give and she takes.
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