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  1. ppp86

    Trust issues

    Hi I am looking for some advice possibly from someone who is in or has been in a similar situation to me in the past. I have been with my partner for 3 years and our life is almost perfect apart from one niggling matter that comes up alot when we have a drink.. mostly on my part. a year ago i found out he had been messaging a girl from his past behind my back, telling her she looked amazing etc. i believe thats all it was as he has promised me this. and to most people i guess this is nothing to worry about. but i do. all the time. before i met my oh i was in a relationship for 10 years w
  2. Thank you for spending your valuable time in reading my post. I`ve been together with her for about 4,5 years now. We live together, and have a seemingly great life even in my own mind. We do almost everything together (and I mean this in the most positive way thinkable). She is my best friend, and even after all these years we enjoy every day together. She is fun, beautiful, intelligent, trustworthy and I want to be with her forever. I can`t find a single thing about her that I just would not love. The severe issue is just that along the way we have travelled, it has many times bec
  3. So my ex gf has been playing a specific game for a long time. After getting to know some people through that game, they formed a group. After that I noticed that she suffered from sleep deprivation (she spend all night chatting and playing) didn't eat properly and pretty much neglected her studies for the degree. When she used to be fully concentrated on it. Those were no assumptions, she talked to me about it and complained that in order to be part of the group she needed to do this and that. So extra responsibilities. It was hurting me seeing her like that, with dark circles ready
  4. Angel of February is Trust Inspirational Message Move from a place of knowing within you rather than as a result of adaptation to outer experience. Let go of your assumptions and need to control life's creative process. It does not matter what spiritual path you’re on, an ultimate sense of peace comes down to one question: Can you let go of the need to control your life, and trust there is a benevolent force guiding all that ever has, is, and will happen? Trust is the soul's way of attuning to the fundamental laws of reality. There is a deep rhythm that moves through all life that
  5. Hello first time poster! I have been with my partner several months now and he's fantastic, he really is. The other week I found a stupid comment on someones instagram profile who i also follow (yes, a stupid instagram model) after a few days I approached him about it, (in fact, i said i saw something on instagram, and he knew instantly and we spoke about it and it really was nothing) However, I cannot let it go, and last week I looked through his inbox. I KNOW I KNOW (i'll accept the abuse) Of course I found nothing. nothing at all. Im not actually angry about the situation anymo
  6. Thanks for taking the time to read this just looking for third party opinion My girlfriend wants me to admit to something I didn’t do, it’s petty, I did not do what I am accused of and told her that I didn’t nicely. She then tells me that until I come clean and admit to this petty event, that our relationship is at a crossroads and that we are in jeopardy. Here is her words: “I have no problem with accepting your little white lies about where you buy a shirt or etc. but when you Don’t admit things such as the this situation you are calling me a liar or basically making me think I’
  7. Hi there , I'm new to this . I'm currently in a long term relationship with an amazing guy. How ever . I've had trust issues ever since we started dating. My paranoia and insecurities is overclouding things but at the same time I just want to ask advice on something over this platform. It would be helpful for me as an individual. My bf and his friend , let's name the friend Tom. Tom is very close friend with my bf. Before my bf knew me , he was one for parties , girls and drinking alcohol. Tom has met me a few times but I am not friends with him. Tom is a rich guy, has cars , into lots of g
  8. Hi everyone, I have been hanging out with this guy over the last couple of months. We get along really well and I would really like to start a relationship with him. When I talked about it with him he told me that we would never work out because we were too different. I was a bit shocked at first because we got along so well and we were even behaving like a couple already. It just didn't make much sense to me. I was talking to him a few days ago on the phone. He told me that the main reason that he didn't want a relationship with me was the fact that I often didn't answer his questi
  9. I dont know if this is the correct section to post this since it includes many types of relationships so I am going to post it here and it will be probably moved. So I am 27 y old woman, I have been in two long term relationships, first (4years) being abusive and the second one(5years) with an emotionally unavaliable boyfriend. Breaking up this May left me completely scarred, unable to love and trust. I am not over my last long term, we are still talking once in a while, I miss him a lot and love him and I am trying to forgive and accept what our relationship was and that we tried our bes
  10. I have been with my fiancé for over 1.5 years, however I have known him for 10 years, because I am best friends with his sister so I’ve always been close to his family. I am F (27) and he is M (26) we just had a baby in June he is now 4 months old and he has 2 kids from a previous relationship and I have another from a previous as well. A few months back I found out that he had cheated on me With a Much older coworker F (42) while I was pregnant. I admit that I kinda understand why he cheated, I wasn’t having sex with him, I was being cold towards him, I was very depressed while I was pregnan
  11. I cant stop obssesing about my partner staying in touch with an old lover. He has been secretive about it and I've snooped his phone. He knows. I feel bad about it too but proves my fears. I wake up anxious at night. Is our relationship ruined? We have been seeing eachother for more than 2 years, we had a miscarriage right at the beginning of the relationship, the pregnancy was unplanned.. ive gotten over it and we have understood we shouldn't put ourselves in that scenario if things are so shaky. He's fantasized about having 2 partners and even though I thought i could deal with at the beginn
  12. Hi my name is Nicole. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years and yesterday I found out that he was on a dating app. I am completely heartbroken because our relationship has always been great but apparently things weren’t as they seemed. My friend approached me and told me that she saw him on there. When I confronted him about it he didn’t deny it. He claims that he is struggling with self-confidence and image issues and didn’t feel like I was attracted to him anymore so he went to see if other girls would like his page and find him attractive. Basically he needed validation and mine
  13. Me and my partner were together on/off for 11 years ,we knew each other previous to that but he was married and i was in a long term relationship which when both ended we got together he moved in and it was good for a few years until i found out he was cheating with someone from work (he worked nights in a hotel) at that time, so he ended it and didnt talk to me for 6 months until one day i bumped into him near where i lived and he said the feelings were still there so we got back together eventually he moved back in but the trust on my part was shattered even though he tried to gain my trust
  14. My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a few months but have known each other for over 20 years. Everything has been fantastic until recently when he had a car wreck and had surgery and has become really down and aggravated. He was married to a woman for a little over a year and theyÂ’ve been divorced for about a year. He has been very upfront about her and made it very clear how much he dislikes her. They have no children together but he was a really close father figure to her youngest son. Therefore he does periodically stay in contact with her for the sons sake. Like I said he has alw
  15. Hey amazing people, Im not doing so well lately. Things have been going better, but since a month a lot of things happened and I feel my mindset going back to a negative state. I have thoughts Im starting to believe again ("I am not fun", "no one really likes me", "who can I trust?"). Ive been in therapy for three years now. Im asking for advice, because I notice every week Im feeling a bit worse then the week before. Where I had hope before now its hard to feel at least a bit positive in a day. Ive stopped dating a guy last month, didn't work (as I told in my last post). This made a di
  16. Somewhere along the way I guess I missed the point. To repeating this over and over. Waking up. Shoving dead things into my face to keep myself alive. This fake and forced interaction with others. Pretending that we're friendly. And working myself to exhaustion in order to keep doing... this? Why? At least, that's how I feel at the moment. I guess I've come to understand that I don't feel this way when I'm close to someone. More specifically, when I feel needed by someone. When they want to spend significant amounts of time and effort on me and along with me. When we've bought ti
  17. Hi all, I’ve been with my partner for over four years but recently found out that she cheated on me while overseas last year. In short, we’ve agreed to work on our relationship and move on. I found out this week that she’s been talking to one of her ex’s about our relationship problems and it make me very uneasy. She says it’s “not like that” but after everything I just don't know that I’m comfortable with it but I can’t exactly push the issue with her because I don’t want her to feel like I’m controlling her or telling her she can’t speak to people. I feel like it would be different if I
  18. Me and my boyfriend have been together over 9 years. We have had some issues the last couple of years which has lead to some truths coming out - long story short, he thought I’d cheated on him but I havn’t, I’ve had some low points and lied about confiding in people and something else when I was paranoid - causing even more trust issues - I know I made it worse. My boyfriend asked me a few years ago if I’d ever watched porn/masturbated etc. I was so embarrassed and didn’t want to talk about it so lied and said not, even though I had watched porn regularly (frequency varied over time but no
  19. My mom and I are very close, but the roles have always felt reversed, which has totally drained me. I guess you can say we are codependent. Even when I was a kid, I felt it was my duty to look after her. My sister is 4 years older. I know the term “Narcissists” gets used a lot these days. But let me tell you, she truly truly is. I’ve studied Narcissists for years and she is IT to the text. I’d love to tell you about all the drama she and her family have caused in our family, but I’ll spare the details. She’s toxic, SNEAKY and full of JEALOUSY. I’ll leave it at that. Everyone in my fam
  20. Hello! I am new to these forums and this is my first post! So please bare with me! Ok, so here's my situation. Firstly, I don't have an extensive dating record as I have always been quite reserved and shy in the world of dating, that is, up until recently I started to improve my confidence and self esteem and now I am meeting (not a whole lot) women more regularly. I was out with some work friends at a bar and a woman approached me, we started talking and I got her number. The next day we arranged to meet up and we did, we went out sight seeing, having a good time, got some drinks, th
  21. Hi All, Long-time user, first time poster under 'Divorce Advice'. Today, I hired an attorney to serve divorce papers for my 5-year marriage. I'm 30 and she's 29. I've given all of the necessary information and asked them to move forward with filing the divorce. I think she will be served by early next week. Needless to say, I don't want to do this, but I don't feel like I have a choice at this point. We don't have any kids, don't own a home, etc., so it should be a fairly smooth process. More on this below. Long-story short, my wife and I haven't been getting along for the last 6 months.
  22. After my last break up i really cant see myself finding that special someone! The reason for this is that just over 2 years ago my 3 year old sons mum broke up with me and it left me completely broken and lost. However i focussed on my son and was able to accept the break up and see my part in the break. I got myself into a good place and i was pretty happy and ok with things. I ended up getting really close to someone at work around 10 months or so ago. Her partner was being pretty nasty to her and their relationship ended. After a few months we ended up being together and she totally blew
  23. My cousin is a 19 year-old college student that lives with her parents. She confides in me and explains that she feels her father (my uncle) doesn't trust her enough. This makes her feel bad and she wishes he would let go of his guard a bit. He gave the guy she's currently dating a super hard time and bombarded him with questions as if he were some cop, before finally letting them leave. He gets worried every single time my cousin has to step out and it's night and she's not back, even though she always informs when she's on her way home. Well he had a bad experience. This probably go
  24. So I met a girl I like and we've met 1 to 1 four times now, a short mini coffee, two evening dates and a day date. The first evening date was so good, and the was some chemistry there and afterwards she text me to say she was looking fear to the next time. In fact it's been quite difficult to replicate the high of that night. After the second evening date I text her first and she replied positively but then the next morning she said she "wasn't looking for anything other than friendship at the moment." She recognised it was a weird thing to say and I wouldn't like it, but she still wanted t
  25. Hi everyone, I'm a 32 year old guy. I have always pondered on the topic of trust and jealousy in relationships. First, I would like to explain my perspective and then I would like to hear the views of others. It will be a long post, I'll try to articulate my thoughts as much as I can. Platonic relationships: I am quite conservative when it comes to platonic relationships. I know that its a debatable topic. In my personal experience, I have never seen platonic relationships working well unless the two people do not find each other attractive or there is something else holding them back
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