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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. I (M28) dated my now ex gf (F26) for 2 years and half a month. She was my first gf. She broke up with me on the 1st April this year... (yeah I first thought it would be an Aprils fools joke) because she said she wasn't happy anymore with our relationship and needed to do it before she would suffer mentally from it. After work the told me if we could talk. At the time being I didn't knew why she was not happy anymore. The days before we didnt had arguments and everything seemed normal imo... So I was really shocked by it. I cried, begged, promised I would change and do whatever I can to take me back. But of course it didn't work. Well now I do know the reasons (through thinking a lot): I basically didn't show her enough that I love and care for her (rarely bought flowers, didn't push her (we sometimes talked about going to the gym together or going out more often. We never did). I didn't help much with chores or I forgot to do some of them when she asked me to do them. I was gaming addicted (spend thousands of euros on mobile games. I went into treatment half a year ago after my last fallback...). I went to 1 on 1 sessions but rarely went to group meetings. (She was clearly disappointed by the later). But I manage to get over it. The break up kind of helped too... 😕 The addiction was one of the reasons she nearly broke up with me half a year into the relationship. The last few months were a bit declining especially in terms of ambition on my part. I am in apprenticeship as an IT specialist for system integration. I got a bit of trouble in work got basically out sourced and I need to find a new job after I am done. I didn't learn much for the then upcoming exam (a week ago). (Which I am sure did well on after finally learning for it after the break up). Me and my gf did a lot of things together (watching movies, series and YouTube or playing some games together when she wanted). So we got pretty much along really good. But I now know there are more things to a good relationship... To add to that: I went straight to life with my parents to my ex. So I never really learned how to life alone and manage all this stuff... 😕 After the break up I stayed two weeks until I found a new place. I now life with two males and we get along really good. In the time between this I did all the chores (for myself to form a new habit) and noticed how hard it was for her. One day she forgot something I messaged her about and I was frustrated (now I know how she must have felt...) My ex told me we could be friends (I first declined but accepted it a day later) and when I asked her (two times) if she thinks we can get back together she told me: "I don't know. Time needs to tell". She talked to my mother once and they basically both said: "I think he is learning from his mistakes". We are currently on friendly terms and texting sometimes. Most of the times I initiate it. But it's light and friendly. I think she enjoys it. I told her via phone call that I accepted the break up, want to look forward, learned my lesson but I like her a lot and want the friendship to work between us. So what I basically want to ask, do you think there is any hope, if I show her I change my behaviours? And can make her happy the next time? I mean the door for it is open?! Should I tell her I am trying to get her back? Or just go with the flow, being a good friend, try to show my changes? TLDR: gf broke up with me because I was lazy and didn't show her how much she meant for me, she lost trust in me. Is there a possibility to get back together, if I show her while being friends that I change?
  2. Tears fall Eyes raised to the heavens. a thin, strangled voice utters "why" a heartwrenching sob, a muttering of prayers, darkness falls. the darkness of night the eternal dark of the night. fears abound, tears at the soul, weakness springs eternal. the eternity of night, night that never ends, eternal darkness why? A ray of light shines down slowly, soft, warm light that does not blight. Falls on thy face, covered with thy tears, a voice utters forth, I be with you always, trust in me, for I shall be your light.
  3. In my opinion...online. If you have met the girl in person and one day she wakes up and says to herself, "Gee, I am going to break up with my boyfriend." and then she does it, it is a rather sickening and horrific way of getting rid of you. Sadly in some cases there isn't a choice. This has happened to me nearly a year ago but I know friends both male and female who are victim to this. I think the worst thing is it seems easy for them. They do not see the pain in your eyes when you are told the news. They cannot see your facial expression to see how much it affected you. They cannot see the torture you have just endured for that second you read that note. They cannot see how all of your hopes and dreams have been wiped off the face of the earth and so has all of your efforts of being with that person. It is a horrible way to die and trust me, I feel for you guys out there because I been there and I would rather be lonely for good than to even imagine what the dumper is thinking in their mind. It appears so horrible for the fact that this person APPEARS to have put no effort into getting rid of you. I seen chickens receieve a better ending than that. So what ways do you think are horrible ways to go out? Let's hear some experiences and get the loads of crab dung off our chests.
  4. Hey, Me an my girlfriend are really happy. I love pleasing her. We don't go that far because she doesn't want to, which is fine with me i respect that. So far she is All talk meaning she will say all this dirty stuff she want's to do and then not be up to it. On one occasion she told me she wanted to give me head, so of cource i agreed, and i asked if i could give her oral first, she also agreed. When it came time unbuttoning her pants her eyes turned into a sort of crying mode, no tears just red, i stopped what i was doing asked her if she was alrite continued questioning her and then she finally said she didnt wanna do it. Now she has done this in the past and it makes me feel like she doesn't trust me. When she does something like this my pride is hurt for a while and i feel like Shizzle . She gets me all worked up and then lets me down. The Shizzley feeling i try to cover it up but it just shows and i can't help it as much as i try... Another thing i should mention is she got the same way when were gonna make out at the mall but 3 visits later she did it without thought. I am very confused...is she just counting down on a clock...it feels like i am being messed with...am i???? What is the real problem here we have made out i've felt her up... she felt me up (reluctantly) and i have fingered her while her pants were on (yes my hands were actually inside her a load of times)(don't ask how) and that is it...what the heck is going on here
  5. okay... for those of you that have read my previous post, you know whats going on... a few days ago, she said she's falling in love with me... i dont know whether to believe her or not, i trust her, but idk now... i love her, alot... but im just confused on what she wants... first she's to busy, then we get together for the night we spent together, then she's to busy, then she's falling in love with me... and guess what, now she's too busy... and the way she talks to me, idk if its because of stress, or what... but t seems like she's just pissed off at the world... the tone she uses at least... please help, i dont want to mess up again, she could be the one, but i think she's afraid to find out or something... i am sorry i am not very good with words, but yeah... its... bringing me to my knees, i just dont know what to do or say to her anymore. and we havent seen or talked to eachother much lately... is there a mixed signal de-coder ring? please help, if she's the one for me, i cant let her slip through my fingers like my other family members have done in previous relationships... help.
  6. Hello I am new here and have thought about going to see a counseller for my problems, but have decided to try online first and see other peoples point of view. My problems started last year when I became pregnant. I had been with my partner for 18 years and we never thought we could conceive, so were very excited about it. That was, until I had a miscarriage. This was the start of my problems. My partner had never really had a very big sex drive (once a year if I was lucky since he started his own business) and I put it down to stress of work. After the loss of the baby, I became very depressed and hormonal and he didn't know how to deal with, so confided in another woman (I only found this out later - the cause of a huge row). He had been texting her two or three times a day and I thought there was something going on. I confronted him about it and he said that she had relationship problems and was asking him about them. He said there was nothing going on and I should trust him. So I did. Their relationship seemed to fizzle out, but his business started going downhill and sometimes he works at the same building as her part time to bring some extra money in and I am eaten up inside thinking he is there with her. She has a boyfriend who (so he tells me) she is happy with and there is no relationship between them except for being friends. Now that would seem enough of a problem in itself (to me anyway - I felt betrayed that he was confiding in another woman about our relationship). He threatened to leave me about six weeks ago as he said I didn't trust him (and it had got to the point that I didn't feel that I could), but the shock of the potential break-up brought me to my senses and I battle with my feelings every day when he is working there, thinking they are laughing at me behind my back. Next thing I know, I find out that he has been looking at porn and downloading porn videos from the internet. I found this out quite by accident, but ever since, have been watching his activity online to see if it was a one-off (which it seemed to be). This was eight months ago. More recently I found a link to a porno site that he had accessed and then several more to other sites which he seems to look at on a regular basis after I have gone to work (I leave early and he doesn't start work until later, so has time at home on his own). I have confronted him about it and he seems to think I see him as some kind of deviant. I told him I feel that I am not enough for him (he is still not interested in a sexual relationship with me, although when I lost our baby, he had said we would try for another) and I feel that he is getting his gratification for looking at these graphic images on the internet. I don't know what to do or where to turn as I don't know if this is normal, but then why am I not enough for him? I feel like I want to break up the relationship over this as whenever I ask about it, he goes silent and moody and will not talk about it, full stop!! Sorry to burden people with so many problems, but I don't know where to turn or what to do and have felt suicidal over this as he has been such a huge part of my life for the past two decades. Confused, depressed and in need of help fast ...
  7. Hey I decided to post this up for all those people who have a strong relationship to a compulsive liar. Whether it be Mother to daughter, or your boyfriend. Hope this Post helps. Doesn't it fusterate you when you are unsure of what to believe anymore? Even worst when they lie in front of your face and you and everyone around you know That they are full of bs. Don't you just wish there was a way to make them stop. Well People it can be stopped, with a lot of love and care and patience. Compulsive Liars 99% of the time have no self esteem and are extremely emotionally delicated. As a result to feel better about themselves they will make up lies to cover up what they don't have. Since they have no self esteem, and have no confidence most willhave given up on themselves. As a result to seeing themselves as a complete failure, most will become emotionally dependent on others once shown affection. They crave attention and sympathy because they need someone to love them in exchange for not loving themselves. Or make up stories to boost their ego to make up for the ego they don't have. How Can I help a person in this situation? It's more complicated then it seems, Its a step by step process Your main goal is to get them to Love and respect themselves. They desperatly need self esteem for this. Once they have self esteem and love themselves nothings missing, and then there will be no reason to make up stories or it will make it more easier to stop lying, Step one remind them once lied they don't have to lie to be good/ cool , but be sure not to bust their bubble. Keep reminding them that, if you are with friends when you catch him lie ( even a white lie) wait until later, pull him/ her aside and tell him "You know , you don't have to lie to impress me" If he gets mad per ex "Starting with that again? So now you think I'm lying" (when they lie on top of lies) just say "No, I just want to let you know that" and smile. and then if he doesn't believe you just be like "Okey so its you who doesn't trust me then" Thats basically turning it around in such a way he knows what he did was wrong and he'll be in the position that he knows u caught him lying but he can't say anything because he'll look like he's the one who doesn't know how to trust someone. When caught lying never nod your head and agree, that just feeds the lie, and he'll / she will do it more and more often. just pause and change the subject, then remind him later. They need a loving supportive environment that believes in them. compulsive liars need Motivations, they will most likely be fixed on the failure and disadvantages, remind them of the advantages! Compliment them on something they did, make them feel good about themselves or maybe praise. Try to make them realize they can be independent and make their own decisions. DO NOT LET HIM/ HER get dependent on you. maybe ask them to do some simple tasks for you. Get them to help you on an issue, keep trying even if they don't want to. After have succeeding in helping out / doing stuff for you maybe he will realize Hey I am not a total failure after all, and decide to start being more responsible , which leaves the door open to get them to stop lying. Remember they are not emotionally healthy enough to make the decision to help themselves, or realize they need help. Don't make them make decisions. Help them help themselves, even if they don't want help. 99% of the time they will be very thankfull when recovered. But be sure that they need help 100%, and if you are proven a compulsive liar, than you do need help. They don't know what they're doing. your hands and your wasting your time. Set some rules The rule's people set are all different and according to what bothers them. In order to help someone even though they don't know it, you should make sure they will not affect you negatively. You come before them, this is why we set rules/ expectations. Even if broken once or not , keep reminding them it's wrong. It will make them realize it's wrong, not right, and that they are not getting any bbenefits but consiquences for breaking them. It really depends how long the person is willing to take the breaking of rules of the person they where helping. Remember being a compulsive liar has nothing to do with whether they are a good person or not. A good person will never hurt you unneccesarly. But after so many rules broken you know they need higher help which is out of your hands. I don't recommend you try to help / contact them again until they are a little better and ready to play by your rules. Per ex rules 1. No stealing 2. Keep most promises Whatever floats your boat. Keep trying to boost up his ego, that for now is your key goal.
  8. Hi, any advice for me as to how supportive i can be when my newly refound special one is being forced by collection agency to deal with her ex-husband when he has not been making payment towards to house they both had way back in 1998 when they were married. They got divorced in 1999 and she was so sick and scared of the whole thing that she packed her stuff and fled to the east coast. She had a lawyer who didn't do his job right because when she was so fed up with the whole situation and wanting it to all go away(something many women do in that situation), he failed to warn her that she can give the house's rights to her ex husband but would still be liable for payments should he not handle it right. So now he isn't returning her calls, the collection / bank have begun forclosure, and her credit is in danger of being hurt in a major way when in fact she hasn't been in charge at all. But because her name was on the house as well .....she is now paying the price. I want to ask any lawyer out there...is there anything she can do to remove her name completely from this mess, and not be stucked with something that is obvioulsy her ex way to get back at her. He even went behind her back and opened a new credit card while she was gone!! She found that out thwo or three years ago...but because she just wants all of this to go away, she just believed his word that he would take care of it. Guess what HE HAS DONE NOTHING and now she is dealing with him all over again ....SOMETHING SHE REALLY HAS BEEN WORKING ON WITH HER THERAPIST TO GET PAST AND MOVE ON COMPLETELY. I am listening to her and offering support. I guess maybe if she can proove in writing that he promised to make the payments on time, or sell the house, somwhow she may be off the hook. For now I just don't know what to do maybe except just land support here and there but I try not to give too much advice....she probably doesn't want me to fix anything...only listen and be there for her. If you;ve followed my stories from the beginning you will see how magical of a person she has been, not to mention this immense transformation she has made, she is like a new person and I think we're on a path that is very special. I am starting to know her again, but here is something that just has to be dealt with once and for all. SHE WANTS TO BE NICE....BUT HE ISN'T THINKING LIKE THAT. i AM SURE HE STILL CARRIES SOME BAD FEELINGS TOWARDS HER. any Professional advice would be appreciated and any advice at all would be cool. WHAT IS HER BEST COURSE OF ACTION??
  9. A few weeks back a girl added me on icq she was cool I developed a crush. A few days later I find out she has a bf two days later they break up. Anyhow thats been a week ago but I was reading her bfs Lj and it says their back together and right on shes saying stuff like she loves him? I asked her about it a few times and got real mad, she said she lis trying to hook up with me and that she likes him a lot but if this the way its gona be to forget it. Plus shes grounded for another 4 weeks so I cant meet her until then. So i dont know what to do? I really like her plus she goes to a school 10 miles away from mine. I mean I wana be with her but I dont want to get hurt. Thanks Mysteryman
  10. Last night, I was talking to my friend and we both have feelings for each other. She asked me some rather personal questions and like an idiot I told her some rather personal things. I almost told her my social security number but I had to stop for a minute to realize what I was doing and what was happening to me. I realized that my friend can easily manipulate me because I am very much interested in her. She told me some other things about herself and I believed her. Then she says to me, "You know, I was just playing around." and I feel like a fool because I REALLY believed her. I am a gulliable sap. I think she's starting to see that too. I really trust her but I am getting a little leery because she can easily get me to believe her on just about anything. That can't be too good. I'm not saying that she is a big fat liar or anything and I'd like to think she is telling the truth most of the time. But when she tells me she's not telling the truth, I feel suckered and weak. I don't want her to feel as if she has control over me, but slowly that IS what it's turning into. Any advice?
  11. Well see, in real life I have few friends, have never dated, heck haven't even had a woman tell me she liked me more than a friend. But on the internet, I have numerous people I can call my friends and many woman have said how much the loved me. I know people on line should not be trusted 100% but I mean every weak another girl I chat to, tells me they have fallen for me and all. But that's not my problem, see its that well in the real world I'm invisible to women as a datable person, now I an not shy or anything like that, I can keep a good conversation and all. Approach a girl, and strike up a good conversation. But heck when the school day is done I'm invisible, heck it just seems like no one sees me. It seems like the only people that see me as interesting and all are the people who hove never seen me face to face. I mean this is what one of the people I chat with wrote about me "…you do know how to treat a lady right. You are the type of guy every girl only dreams of meeting. You so sweet, honest, kind, companionate, and caring. I just wish there wisent so many miles between us…" I mean yeah, its dismissible when one person says that, but when every one I talk to online, says that, its more that dismissible. But people in real life, ha don't even see those qualities. I have asked my one friend in real life, if I talk different online that I do in real life, the answer to that was no. so I don't know what the problem. Why don't females even notice me in real life, why am I so invisible to them. And why is it they only talk to me when they got a problem, or there's no one else to talk to. Any one got any advice on how I can not be so invisible? Some times i wonder if my looks are what drive people away thask for evey thing
  12. hello friends i have a problem but i really don't know my self anymore . yhea i took med's like zolof and stuff like that and yes i know it stops working after 9 mnt's to a year i know this i have been up and down this road befor, just don't know were i stand on things am i a lost soul i wander about that or did my soul die and i didn't know . i wants said that me and death are the same we are empty . just a void . idon't worry about were i end up. did i lose my soul when i lost my faith? but i don't know what it is going to take to make it here. do i still believe in him yes i know some that don't just can't find my place in this world . everyone is good at something so whats my excuse. just drag my feet throw life . i so want to change don't know maybe i stopped careing or maybe what im good at is getting my self in a bigger mess the anyone els can. lol i may not be a smart man or the best looking defantly am not the luckiest. but some time's i feel like i am there are a few that i call friend . and there is one that i call my love . i just wish that someone can help befor i lose my mind but aging thats nothing new this may seem like the diary of a mad man . but trust me im seeing clearly maybe you just don't see that. so i await your jugdement your friend hardcore :scramble:
  13. I have been in a very serious relationship for 10 months. A boy that Iused to have a huge crush on suddenly started asking me out and stuff. One day when we were alone, I kissed him. I told my boyfriend because one of our promises was to always be honest to each other no matter what. He forgave me and told me that we were going to put it behind us. Then one night when I was sleeping over my friends house, she had her boyfriend there and her brother was there. (Her brother is the boy that I was messing with.) We ended up having sex that night. I was so mad and sad b/c no one stopped me and i was just so caught up in the moment. I told my boyfriend and he broke up with me. He says that he still loves me but he cant be with me right now b/c he dosent trust me anymore. I am so torn and I wish this never happened. Please help me get the love of my life's trust back so we can be happy again. I promise I will never cheat on him again.
  14. I've been threw a hell of alot for six months, I have recent posts on here about heartbreak and what to do but I was too stubborn to listen cause have how badly I wanted my ex back, I had to learn the hard way the very hard way about her not coming back. See we broke up then she went out with a new guy for 3 months who she said she loved and everything, well threw those 3 months I dreamt about having her back and unbelivable things like that. well the day finally came after all my friendliness and comforting and swallowing my pride, we got back together it was the best day of my life, but then two weeks ago she started talking to one of my friends on my messenger, and I got kinda mad cause they were gonna hang out, and she said "don't worry you know I love you" and I felt better, well they hung out one day, then the next, then the next, and are still hanging out everyday since they hung out the first time, now I got mad because after all I did in those 6 months was pointless and I did alot trust me. Now there dating and my stubborness only made it worse I should of realized from the beginning that even if we did go back out it wouldn't work out, and it's true. The only way to get over one is too find another and that's true aswell, now I know you think no one could ever take her place that's true cause everyones different. I had alot of girls like me the past 6 months but no one could take my mind off her however last week I finally met someone who is way better then my ex could ever be. So whatever you do don't take the road I did it'll only hurt more in the end, espeacially when the girl leads you on and gives you that little bit of hope, so my advice is find someone new I know it may take awhile like it did for me but it'll work out way better in the end, trust me.
  15. Hi, this is a very confusing situation. I love this woman I met online 2 years ago. Certain things have happened during that time. She messed up things between us, but these things are from the past, I do not care about them at all. However I have recently sent her a few emails (she was on a trip at that time) where I told her I missed her and wished we could talk more often online. She felt I was accusing her of cheating on me, and that I did not trust her, and that I was putting too much pressure on her. It has been 3 weeks now that she is angry, she says she is not, but I can sense she is. She also told me she feels that I do not respect her and her opinions and that I think I have a moral superiority over her because she messed up things in the past. This is all untrue, I love her, I respect her and like her opinions. No matter what happened in the past. I have sent her several emails where I explained things and told her that she is wrong about me, that she should not be angry with me. We briefly talked last night (first time in a week) and I could sense she was still upset with me. There has also been some misunderstanding involved and I find it really sad that she is so upset with me because of some misunderstanding and because she sort of believes that I am someone (a macho, someone that "talks down to her") that I am NOT. What should I tell her when we talk to make her feel more confident about me ? Should I continue to email her or just wait and see until she calms down ? I would really need to find the good words to make her feel more confident about me and let her know that I listen to her, and trust her. She is so convinced that I am not listening to her and that I do not trust her that I feel the only way to proove her that I am not like that is to go see her, without telling her, and explain her face to face that she has been wrong to think these things about me. What should I do ? I would very much appreciate your advices and analysis of the situation. Thanks very much.
  16. i've broken up with my bf of 10 days three months ago coz hes going out with my close college friend. i didn't know that they have been going out since i accidentally read a msg from her cellphone from him about him missing her. so, it was terrible. i am trying to be an adult , so i suggested to talk to both of them n simply asked why did they have to lie to me. i told them that apologize both of them but you have to choose either me or him, n she did. she choose me but they were still going out. now, i am told by my other best friend that i look so alone. do i just want to be alone or i just don't want to be close to any1 anymore coz its hard to trust some1 ( a phobia )??? please i really need help...
  17. For those that have cheated on their partner and are trying to remain in the relationship, what makes you remain the relationship if your partner does not trust you? This is assuming that you are no longer involved in the affair. Also for those that have been cheated on, why remain in the relationship if you have issues trusting your partner. This is assuming that you believe trust to be a major factor in your relationship.
  18. My gf broke up with me last summer. We go to the same college and live in the same dorm since school started again back in September. Since then we have still been seeing each other even though we technically broke up. Basically it's like we never really broke up. We are not quite as close as before. We used to talk about marriage and all that stuff, but we are still intimate. She has said to me several times since we first broke up that we cannot continue seeing each other like this. She says she likes being with me and that I am safe and comfortable and she even says that she loves me, but feels like she needs to be single and be able to meet other people too. Every time we have one of these talks she comes back to me and the cycle continues. One month ago, during winter break when we were away from each other, she called me and said she had done a lot of thinking. She said she wanted to try getting back together for real this time. She then started crying to me and said don't you trust me? It was hard to believe this, but I trusted her. When we came back from break, we started to go on a few dates and everything seemed to be going great again. I felt really close to her again, like before the breakup. I couls feel that she was a lot closer to me. Then, a few nights ago, she told me again how she didn't want to be together, that we never technically broke up and that she needed to be single. This is after we had spent a great day together. I was absolutely shocked. I didn't think this was coming, especially after she came crying to me saying how she wanted to be with me again. I was so hurt, angry, sad, and disappointed. I love her so much, but i don't know what to do. I haven't initiated contact with her since the incident, but she has a little with me. She was trying to be friendly, but I told her it was hard for me to even look at her. Now she is hurt/upset by me. Any advice here?
  19. Hey guys, i want to thank anyone who gives me a lil bit of advice on this post every bit of advice is appreciated..I want to start off by saying i was with my ex for 3 years and she broke up with me for cheating. These past 6 months have been a rollercoaster ride of emotions...first few months she would not talk to me and when she would she would cuss me out.but for some reason she wouldnt change her number and would still talk to me. She slowly then started accpeting my invitations to go out to coffee or dinner..Basically there has been a lot of progression because she now kisses me and other things.. and says i "sometimes" love you. but till this day says i dont wanna get back with you..i understand the trust is gone but ive turned my life around for this girl and she sees it..what more can i do to get her back in my life...ive tried to talk to other girls and it doesnt work...what do all these games me? sorry for the long post. thank you for reading
  20. Hey, Today I was planning to ask a girl I know out to Prom. She and I sat and talked, just as we normally would, before I could muster up the courage to shoot the Q. This wasn't until the next period in school when I had decided I would ask. As I awaited an opportune moment to do so, she randomly says, " I have to find a way to fit into my Prom dress". I said, " are you kidding me", saying so because she is quite slender and physically fit. I then said, "your going to Prom", she said, "yes", so then I asked who she was going with, hoping she would say nobody, leaving me with a perfect time to ask. But then she said she was going with a certain guy, one who I know is not a quality kind of person that will respect her for who she is and also an underclass men, (she and I are both seniors). With this said, my mood dramatically dropped and I lost some self confidence. I have a strong feeling that she is attracted to me and I to her. She does stuff like the eye contact thing, laughs at a lot of stuff I say(in a sincere way), somewhat copies what I do, and smiles at me when we talk. Also, when I sit very close to her, instead of an row appart but in the same desk (seats two), she appears to act nervous, constantly playing with her finger nails, checking her phone, the clock, and fooling with her hair. Is this good or bad? Also she was wearing a skirt today, she would cross and uncross her legs switching sides while rocking her foot back and forth, is this good or bad? Any way, I'm considdering telling her that I was going to ask her to prom before she told me that she had a date, or asking her out to dinner. I don't know if I should do this, considdering that this could alienate her trust in me because she allready has a date, whom in quite frankely not up to par. I don't know how she would react if I did tell her, or ask her out to dinner, it almost seems like she was desperate accepting the date proposal from this guy, so it could be favorable or unfavorable for me. Should I tell her my inital plans to ask her to Prom, or ask her out to dinner, or should I just let her go, which is something I don't want to do. Please, if anyone has any advice, particularley any girls out there, I would be very greatful for any enlightenment on the situation. Thanks, Nick
  21. Me nd my partner have been together for 4 years and live together - he work s and I am in my final semester of university.. My boyfriend and I have not been gettng along properly for about 10 months and he always seemed very distant and distressed.. I thought he may be with someone else but he always denied it.. Anyway 2 days a go I found a letter in word too a work colleague taht I awlways had suspicions of. It was stating his undying love for her - and stating about all teh things he loved about her and even ssaid he was in love with her. He even dedicateda song too her..I was fumng as you can imagine - trashed teh house and moved out - I saw him in his lunch break and he said he doesnt knwo whetehr he loves her and jsut stormed out in tears saying he couldnt deal with this. Anwyay I just left and I am at a friends house now.. He kept calling sayign we needed too talk and that he doesnt love his work colleague and needed too see me. I was very distant and didnt even want too talk to him. Until I heard he spoke too my dad and dad told me he is an idiot but he does love me and when he got home sitting in teh empty flat he realised he had really really really hurt me.. He wouldnt stop calling so he cam e round too my friends and thsi is what happened: J came round yesterday and told me that I dont have too believe him or not but he does NOT love this woman or is in love with her. He admits he had feelings for her...He said that he has been going though dperession and not really knowing what it was- crying in his work loo's and stuff. He said even though this does not excuse for what has happened this is what is goign on. He called his doctor yesterday and they admitted him too a therapist straight away - saying he is mentally unstable. he said that he needs too do this on his own - all his debts and finances and sort out his head. I said that I iwl never move back there and he agreed that he thinks we need our own space. He just kept apologising. As ffor the letter he stated that he knows the letter sounded in depth. He didnt send it too her and said that he just typed it out- he said that he feels he was using teh situation of her being a shoulder for him too cry on and he thought it was turniogn into something serious. But after he had read thorugh it again it seemed stupid and pathetic. He said that he has not been feelign right in his self for months maybe a year. He said that he is really sorry for teh pain he has put me through. That whatever happens he cares for me and if it wasnt for me he wouldnt be where he is right now..! HE CLAIMS THEY NEVER SLEPT TOGETHER!! The long and short of it is that he wants us too stay close and maybe when he is in therapy and getting better we can meet up on a date once in a while ans start over- but he said that it is my choice and I need too do what makes me happy..but living apart will be the best thing for us...(which i have always thought).. Right now I feel drained. I am not goign too call him as I need time too get a place of my own and get uni started up. I would prefer too wait until thsi is sorted b4 anything. The thing is I do love him 4 years is a very long time...i think i will find it very hard too trust him ever and he would have too do watever it takes for me too trust him again...i will make him pay... it has been a crazy few days... bUT i just wanted too hear some opinions. everyone is really great on here and this is the hardest thing in my life apart form my amputation and I just need sound opinions- and whether I am goign along teh right path - one day at a time...
  22. In general are guys less trusting then a girl? If u guys had a choice would you rather hook up with a : a. extremely hot and preety chick , that can get so many guys, and likes ya, really cool, and like a good friend, but not always there. b. an ugly chick w/ a okay body, that can't get much guys and is obsessed with you.
  23. This post might sound a bit silly but i still would like to know what would be the smarter thing to do... Well it goes like this. After my last meeting with my ex, i told her that there were still some things from her in the house, and she asked me to sent it to her. I agreed to send it and will do so. My question is, would i send a letter together with it, or just let things go? I mean, to be polite and kind, nothing else. I don't want her back after what happened, and i'm alot better now, after almost 2 month of break and i don't want to go the same road i was before again. Just a small letter wishing her well and happiness... I must add that in our last meeting she hurted me, and worse she didn't trust me (she had friends there, acting like bodyguards... and i didn't do anything that bad to have such behaviours...). So is she worth the effort, or shall i just send the stuff and forget about it once and for all?
  24. I need to talk to someoen that I can trust... but i dont know who to talk to. I'm having so many problems that I just wish I could accidently walk out in front of an 18 wheeler. I dont know how to go about solving these problems that I am having... I tried talking to my closest friend but he was NO HELP at all, and just made things worse... My parents are an ABSOLUTE NNOOONNNOOONNOOOOO!!! Last time I went to them for help... omg it was awful and I hated myself even more. Thye ignore me so dont say them.... but I really need someone to talk to... A counselor? but how would i get to one of them when I'm 15 and dont even have my learners yet? I almost thought about my school guidance counselor but I figured she would tell my parents and plus I would have to live with thinking about it everyday that I saw her... I REALLY NEED some advice cause I'm starting to do bad in school and I quit the basketball team today because I'm always depressed.d
  25. I just don't get it. I broke up with my gf a few weeks ago because I found out she was cheating on me. I tried to get back with her, but I couldn't really trust her because she was doing alot of stupid stuff, like alot of partying and I think she's on some drugs. So finally I just got fed up with the running around and the lying. So now I have started seeing other girls and she is pissed. She won't leave me alone, she calls all the time, she bangs at my door, I am dealing with a pyscho chic. What I don't get is after all of this why can't she just leave me alone. She had her chance she blew it! ......... sorry babe were through.........
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