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lostandhurt

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lostandhurt last won the day on October 3

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About lostandhurt

  • Birthday 02/07/1964

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Community Answers

  1. Not knowing how serious his diagnosis is leaves much of this up to a simple guess. He probably saw things getting serious but was not sure of his own future so he backed off. Give him some space and let him reach out to you when he is ready to talk. It sounds like he wasn't expecting to connect so closely with you and it scared him a little. Not having answers sucks but sometimes we just have to accept that we may never get all the answers to our questions. Try and stay busy with your life while he deals with his. I have a feeling he will contact you soon but you need to decide if you are okay with this push pull thing he does no matter what the reason for it. Lost
  2. Hang in there and keep posting. We will help all we can. When you have time search this forum using some key words from your issue. I have been around here a long time and I have seem this more times than I can count. You just might find some nuggets of truth and help in older threads. Keep posting Lost
  3. My advice is you married a cheater. The worst part is you knew it and still married him. He has lied to you but you lied to yourself when you talked yourself into believing him. If you actually need to catch him in the act to end this then stay silent and let him believe you are still in the dark and he will go back to his old ways soon enough. Then carefully check up on him. Then you can get the marriage annulled or divorce or what ever works the fastest. Lost
  4. 15 years of this and you are just now getting fed up? I don't think we are getting the whole story here. How about some more details. Seems to me you are leaving out all kinds of details... Lost
  5. Right now the falling asleep thing is not that big of a deal. Calling him by the wrong name shows him you are not that into him even if you are. Don't bring any of these things up but it is time for you to step up and go the extra mile with him. Invite him to dinner and make sure he knows it is your treat. Show interest in what he feels is important and listen when he talks don't just wait for your turn to talk. He may ask who Frank is so be prepared. I was once dating a woman named Tonya and had dated a woman named Tasha very recently. My nephew told me "Uncle Lost, you are totally going to call Tonya Tasha one day" He was right and it happened at an outdoor concert when I was introducing her to some friends we ran into. I immediately corrected myself but on the way home I got the "Who the hell is Tasha?" I simply answered "a friend" and that was the end of it. I didn't make a big deal out of it and she let it go. Stuff happens and everyone makes mistakes, you are human right? Reach out to him and ask him to dinner, just don't let it go to long before you do. Lost
  6. This is all you need to know right here. Her way or the highway. She is a selfish controlling shrew and yes you have lost yourself or at least the parts hanging between your legs. Being treated like a doormat is not the same as being understanding. You are a doormat to her and she wipes her feet on you all the time and you just lay there and take it because she comes back at you every time you try and stand up for yourself. Time to take a stand and reclaim your dignity. Lost
  7. If you just want sex then pull the Netflix and chill on my bed routine but that isn't what you asked us so we advised you accordingly. No we aren't a bunch of college guys on here seeing how many girls we can bang in 3 months. You get advice on the situation and how you want it to go. You want to get to know her better as a person so talk over dinner, head over somewhere for ice cream and then lean in for a kiss somewhere towards the end of the evening. If she suggests going to your bedroom then go for it but don't assume it is on the table just yet. Lost
  8. I was going to ask out Kate Beckinsale but then I was thinking maybe Jessica Alba so now I am stuck, ah forget it I won't ask either one because the moon is full tonight. See how ridiculous your excuses are? Dreaming or fantasizing about asking out some young woman is not the same as actually getting close enough to actually do it. I get it, if you never ask you never get turned down. Lost
  9. Hmmm Another excuse. Ask them both out, it increases your chances. Lost
  10. Focusing on your daughter and making the happiest life possible for her is your first step. Moving on from an abusive relationship seems like it should be easy but many times it is not. All the what ifs and whys make it hard to just give up and accept it was bad and needed to end. The heart and the mind are always struggling for control. Your mind knows logically that there was more bad than good and in the end abuse so it had to end but your heart only knows love and heartbreak so it clings to what it wants because it doesn't want the heartbreak. You know you two are not good together and would make a home filled with fights and tension for your little girl so keep reminding yourself that being apart is what is best for her. Being alone taking care of a baby is hard but doing it while walking on eggshells and constant fighting is even harder. Do you have family nearby? Some sort of support system? Lost
  11. Have fun and let us know how it went. Maybe he is a good dancer, a couple of slow dances and a little wine... Like I said before, just don't catch the bouquet. You might freak the guy out😍 Lost
  12. I am going to go against the grain on this one. Yes by all means say "Hey do you want to go to my room and cuddle" That is of course if you want her to look at you with disbelief in her eyes as she walks out the door. Things will happen when they happen so don't push so hard. I assume you haven't even kissed yet so slow your roll and let it happen naturally. Is there a place within walking distance to go for dessert after dinner? She is interested so don't screw this up by thinking with the wrong head. Lost
  13. Then if it is that delicate don't do it. Once again you are finding an excuse to not follow through... Lost
  14. I have a very valid question for you. Why do you self sabotage? Each time you post here about something you want to do it seems like you want us to talk you out of it or something but when we encourage you to go for it you find excuses not to go forward. Why is that? Lost
  15. People can and do change but they have to want to, your bf does not want to. You may be hanging on since you have dated 4 years but it is obvious that you have grown and matured during that time and he has not. As it stands right now you are more his keeper or parent than a gf. Checking up on him, trying to teach him how to be a good person and policing his activities. That sounds like way more trouble than it is worth don't you think? Either learn to live with who he is or break up and try and meet a new guy that is more aligned with what you believe and expect in a relationship. Lost
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