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lostandhurt last won the day on March 2

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About lostandhurt

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  • Birthday 02/07/1964

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  1. Is this through texting or in person or phone call? Texting is a sure fire way to have a misunderstanding. If it is petty little stuff and you can figure out why it keeps happening and then do something to fix it then sure it is worth trying again but if you just think time apart will make it right then no you shouldn't even try. If you remove the things that were instigating the arguments then they shouldn't happen right? Lost
  2. What were you arguing about? Without context we cannot help. Lost
  3. Let me break this down for you. You are afraid of losing her but YOUR actions as you described them are going to be the thing that ruins this even more until she breaks up with you. You better stop now or she will be gone soon. You need to figure yourself out. By that I mean what you are okay with and what you are not okay with. I mean honestly okay with, not the BS you are telling yourself just to keep her around. Then you have a discussion (a real discussion in person, no electronic device between you) and listen to what she thinks is okay behavior in a relationship and what is
  4. Let her cool down a little first. Then apologize for calling her reckless. She didn't hide any information from you so all you had to do was tell her since she was around so many people you are not comfortable seeing her until some time has passed just to be safe. You decide what is best for you and she decides what is best for herself. Was she reckless? To you yes she was but to her she wasn't. You cannot control her nor should you try. Let her be who she is and if that person is not compatible with you then end the relationship. Don't try and mold her into something she is
  5. Do you have her number? Do you want to date her or just have sex? She is interested but you are so afraid of women it is unattractive. Being rejected is not fatal, just sack up and stop being such a wimp. Women are not evil creatures that will suck your soul out of you if you ask for their number or for a date, they don't do that until you get married. Ha ha just kidding...mostly 🙂 Seriously despite your total lack of any confidence she likes you so go for it today!!! No waiting just do it. Lost
  6. Hard to say why she suddenly decided she wasn't interested in you romantically after so many dates. She may have been multi dating and was more interested in some other person or she was on the fence about you and finally decided there wasn't enough of a spark. No matter her reasons the fact remains that she is not interested in romance with you. It sucks when everything seems to be going well and then poof it isn't. This has happened to a lot of people and everyone would love to have concrete proof or a solid reason why but it rarely happens and when it does we all have a hard time
  7. I hope you appreciate what a huge second chance you have on your hands. My best advice is to show her not tell her about the new husband you are and intend on being forever. Stay focused on what is truly important and the other wounds will heal. They may leave a scar that swells up once in a while but just remind yourself how lucky you are to have her and your family in your life. When the thoughts of what happened while you were separated come to your mind a trick I used that would get me out of that cycle would be to ask myself "What good will come from thinking about this?
  8. Marrying anyone because you are afraid of being alone forever is a terrible idea. Then pile on what you wrote about her and the situation and it becomes a nobrainer. I may have missed it but I didn't see any mention of deep love for each other. Be smart, don't walk down this path or isle as the case may be. Lost
  9. What is the status right now? Living in the same house? Counseling being looked into? What ever you do never bring up her actions during the separation. That is the third rail in all this for you and if you bring it up you will loose every time. Just stopping gaming is not enough to repair the damage which I am sure you know already. Your shared goal should be to rebuild/build up your marriage to really good place built on respect, understanding, selflessness, empathy, communication and most importantly cherishing each other. No more taking anything for granted. Lost
  10. What I see is a lot of impulsive behavior on both sides. You ignored her for 4 years so she was pretty lonely then you told her you wanted a divorce which basically gave her the go ahead to reach out to a man she knew for comfort she wasn't getting from you. Once she started getting attention she was starving for she went overboard. Hard to blame her and you know she had lots of options because there are a ton of men that would want to be with her. You are taking responsibility for your mistakes which is great but the past is preventing you from moving forward. I hope you see t
  11. He is using your past mistakes as a weapon all these years and now he is using it as an escape plan. He jumps out for the plain with a "I am not the bad guy" parachute on so you are left feeling like it is all your fault. So he met some girl and wanted to test drive her but just in case it doesn't work out he tells you the BS he told you. Then later if he wants back in with you he comes around saying he thought about it and he is willing to forgive you and try again. Rinse and repeat as many times as he can get away with it. Sometimes things happen in relationships that tarnish
  12. Then go ahead with your plan and see what happens. I doubt he will ever tell you the truth about what he has been up to so don't expect anything from him if he in fact is cheating. Just follow your plan and leave. Lost
  13. It would seem that he has misled you from the very beginning. He may have trained himself through porn or other images (calling it fantasy is diluting what it really is) to only respond sexually this way. This is nothing new as we see women on here semi frequently that are being ignored sexually and are given excuses by their husband/bf only to find out later the guy is watching porn all the time. You feel betrayed and deceived as you rightly should. Intimacy between a couple that love each other is very important. That intimacy does not need to be penetration type of intimacy for
  14. Yes of course you can and will meet someone. Now if you were early twenties I can tell you many guys would balk at a young woman with a child but that doesn't mean they don't meet and fall in love with good men, it is just a little harder finding a guy with an open mind that is in his early twenties. You are 30, educated, make a good living, take care of yourself, your life and your child well and I am assuming have your stuff together which is very attractive to men in similar situations. I agree you do need to know what you are looking for though and when you figure that out you ne
  15. If you have mutual friends and will more than likely run into each other again I would close out the deal. Send him a text telling him you had fun on the date but unfortunately you didn't feel any sparks romantically. This way when you do run into each other it won't be awkward and uncomfortable being around each other. When you said you talked for hours I am assuming you meant you texted back and forth for hours. Maybe next time actually have a voice conversation and see what vibe you get before actually going on a date. Might save you some trouble and time. Lost
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