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About a_lifters_life

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  • Birthday 11/26/1988
  1. Just an update to this thread - divorce is still going on, its like a set of waves going up and down. Im hoping this divorce is over soon. I want to get back to focusing solely on my son and myself, without the constant distractions from her pitbull lawyer, whos failed her so far. For those going through a nasty divorce like me, I've found on the past year that following as close to gray rock method as possible when encountering your ex. Only speak, if you need to, and if possible via email. Cheers to a better year in 2021 for me, and for all!
  2. Great points everyone - appreciate the replies. Yes, my 8 month old is obviously my first priority. Second priority is working on myself and introspection of all that has happened. Only then will it be to meet someone new (perhaps)
  3. We were together 12y, married 3, and have a 8 month old. Anywho its been a heck of a saga, but she showed her hand and it was the last straw. Last tuesday I officially had filed for divorce, and im now going through the process. I wont waste time talking about her more, but am trying to figure out my path forward after this 12y saga. What sort of steps should I guy like myself do to re-invent, and re-think who i am going forward and maybe at some point get lucky and meet someone new. Im looking for thoughts and ideas. Thanks
  4. (not divorced yet) but thinking that way for 2020...taken some preliminary steps We've been together on and off for 13 years... married almost 3, im so done with you. im sick of being 10th, 100th wheel in your life, when all I wanted was to have a happy, health marriage for our now 6 month old - who i love with my life personally, but you've sidelined me to the point of no return where I'm thought about always last in priority. For our marriage, and more recently for our son's sake you're too worried about your own agenda, and disjointed familial relationship. Unfortunately you've chosen th
  5. Many of your already know my story, but for those unfamiliar here is a quick run down: my wife of (~3 years) and together for ~13 years. We now have a 6 month old child we'll refer to as T going forward. I have many posts from around when we got married ~3 years ago - with me in a very conflicted state : sort of like how I am now (just now in much more worse). Anywho, my wife and I were finally able to conceive T ~6 months ago. It was a really tough situation for us - we tried naturally for 2 years without any success, so we went the iui route. We now have a 6 month old - who is the j
  6. For me its not a power struggle at all. I want the best for T, but i cannot have relationship with T because of my wife. I literally see him for 30 mins when I get done work, and on weekends the past 3 months shes primarily been away with him.
  7. I try to help, I constantly am saying on Friday afternoons (when less busy at work) or the weekends - I've offered to take him all weekend long, and have "daddy daycare" and she go up and spend time with her family or She refuses and then claims she thinks im incapable of doing that on my own (total bs). She just wants control. She just got back from a night at her brothers house - 2.5h away, and wont even let me hold T so that she can pee or relax a bit. Again, she wants all the control, but at the same time wants to put me down incessantly (and my family).
  8. Many of you know my rather (lengthy) history on here. Anyway my wife and I have been together (married) for 2.5y, together for 11 years overall. Recently we had our first child, T, about 3.5 months ago now. Ever since delivery, and home from the hospital - our relationship has changed very drastically. Some points regarding that: There is zero intimacy There is zero lovey/dovey anymore. We dont even kiss good bye or she ask how my day is (at work). Although I ask her how the day went with T Our relationship has turned into one of a business relationship (e.g. has x been done for T
  9. im still trying to determine exactly how any of your replies are helpful to anyone except maybe to uplift yourself?
  10. This goes hand, and hand with my most recent post, except this time its about my wife herself. My wife and i have been together 2 years (married). Anywho my wife seems like she can be the culprit for a lot of our past relationship problems (>11 years now). The problems typically have arisen over the past ~11 years primarily due to her allowing her family to get in between us. This has happened both pre-marriage, and post marriage. I'll speak to most recently to now that we are married, and have a 6 week old boy. So ever since we had our boy we'll refer to give as T going for
  11. Thanks all for keeping this thread going with your ongoing experiences. My MIL/FIL came by again on Mon/Tues without these two nieces. Went a lot better in regards to getting my wife more comfortable with the breast feeding. The whole fight/argument wasnt discussed at all, despite me sending them a text the next day apologizing for going a little overboard, but holding firm that they need to make both my wife + I aware if they want to bring people like the nieces who were never invited in the first place, and just showed up. Evidentially, they just never responded, but came by mon in
  12. Me either. 1 lactation person was at hospital on delivery floor, and another private lactation consultant.
  13. you're absolutely right. what does that even mean make more of an effort? how?
  14. This comment is not needed. So yeah if you dont have anything nice to say - be quiet.
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