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Kwothe28

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  1. Jewelry is way too big for somebody who is just a work friend for now. Jewelry is something you gift for anniversaries to girlfriends or wives. That gift would probably freaked her out to oblivion. If you want to gift her something, it would have to be something more appropriate and yet something that would maybe spark her interest. So I would suggest flowers. You can rarely be wrong with it and its nice and not that big of a deal. Nothing too fancy though(like those 101 roses packages), just 1 nicely decorated one with the note how you enjoyed the book and wanted to thank her for it.
  2. That is way too much drama A sounds like she cant make up her mind so she bounced back between you both and wants both of you at the same time. B was fine with you having feelings for A but spread rumors about you, dated your ex probably out of spite and had no problem with cheating. You inserted yourself into their relationship and still maintaining "status quo" while they both go behind your back showing you that they arent even your good friends, let alone more. So I say that you remove yourself out of equation. That is way too much drama and let them get burried into it while you get out. Its not healthy and you will drive yourself insane as you already did went through depression, while they will enjoy all that drama. So, again, let it go.
  3. "Honeymoon" phase(early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy) lasts from 6 months to 2 years. For you, after 9 months that is over and you are starting to see cracks and wonder if you love her. If you are not feeling it after that(usually what you got left after that time is what you got from relationship), giving it more time will not change that. You would get used to her(as you did even now, hence why doubts about break up) but will probably never love her in a true sense of that word. You are both young so you both will find somebody better in time. Staying there just for the sake of it wont do any of you favors.
  4. This. If he wants to reach out he will at least invent some reason to sent a message Dont get invested into this things too much. If he reaches out, fine. If he doesnt just look at it as no big deal especially after only a week and only social media. I would assume that his interest is pretty low. It might not even be something you said, just that maybe somebody else turned out. Especially if you met him on some dating app.
  5. From other posts from before, social media is the least of the problems you have. He is a serious cheater, taking other girls to dates, taking them to hotel rooms, and that is only what you know it, God knows what you dont. And that will never change. You are in a vicious cycle. Where you are in abusive(in your case emotionally abusive) relationship. Where he cheats, later swears how he didnt, and if he gets caught how he didnt meant it and how he loves you. Then you take him back and he does it again and again. And you take him back again. Because "he loves you". What I am trying to say is, break the cycle. Leave that guy. Seek some help(from friends or even go to therapist) if needed and dont take him back. Because like this, it will always be the same story.
  6. One thing I found helpful is to change the way you are thinking about the situation. Often when we are hurt that much, we are at low point. Time does wonders, but yes, cant heal stuff unless you change. Often times at my lows I ended up blaming myself for situations I ended up. How I should have done better and if Ive done X, Y wouldnt happen. While after a while, when looking from different angle once it becomes clear, Ive realized that, while I should have maybe done stuff differently, its often not only my fault. You need to be able to pick yourself up from situations like that. And live and learn from it. Only then, even if it happens again you will know better and react differently.
  7. Ah, good old deflection. You will drive yourself insane if you continue that. While she will probably enjoy the drama. So, get away from all that.
  8. I would still reach out and see what is going on. But yes, 4 days of "crickets" is a lot if it is commited relationship.
  9. At best case, she hides your relationship from public for some reason. Its not that unusual not to have a pic with every guy the girl has been with. But none after a year youve been dating? Yeah, that is shady. Meaning, yes, she probably has several of you that she doesnt want public to know. If she publishes picture with you, the other guy gets mad. Probably doing the other way around too.
  10. You shouldnt get mad at people trying to help you. Often times we dont see clearly, or dont want to see from some reason, the situation we are in. You asked for advice and people answered. You may not like the advice but again , people are generally trying to be helpful so you shouldnt get mad. Did you approach any of them? People have been saying that you should get out of your "comfort zone" and meet and talk to those women. So you should never wonder "what if". Just hooking up is fine if we are talking about single, non-drunk women. But you need to get to that part first. And you will never do it unless you start to approach them
  11. No you dont. You are taking him back in hopes you will get back together sometimes and he manipulates you in order to have sex whenever he wants. That is not "clear boundaries". FWB is suppose to be an empty thing where you can do it and continue with your life tomorrow like nothing ever happened. As soon as one side develops or has feelings, wonders, for example, why he hasnt contacted her in a week, its not beneficial even if it feels nice. You need to get over him in order to move on. Instead you are taking him back whever he wants and tell yourself how "he is the one". That is not healthy for you and needs to stop if you want to meet somebody who will not just use you for sex.
  12. You should have given her "the D" 🤣 Dunno if I can meme here, have a perfect meme for this lol Jokes aside... Yes, yes it would. As bad as her who offers like that. From moral standpoint, yes, you would be a bad guy because you knowingly hook up with the girl who has a boyfriend. Also, even if you succeed(there is no guarantee, maybe she just wanted to flirt a bit), there are all kinds of troubles there. What if she says to boyfriend how she was drunk, didnt know what she was doing and you took advantage? Could you live with that? Not to mention her boyfriend probably chasing you to beat you up?
  13. Those kind of things(stuff exchange after break up) never go well. Usually its painfull, one side maybe hopes to reconcile etc. What if she comes with some new guy? Just save yourself a trouble and mail it to her. Cant she pay for package when it arrives to her?
  14. I can understand eastern conservative heritage and her not mentioning you to parents. However, that and her problems are not an excuse for her to shub you by the side. You had a lot of problems going on, long distance, language barrier etc. To her everything was OK when you were together but it seems that she changed her tune while away. In that circumstances there was nothing you could do especially because she became distant. You insticts about break up where good even though you have regrets. If you havent, she would probably do it instead. So, look at it as something that wasnt meant to be and move on. And I agree with others, mail her stuff, dont just show up or even contact her, leave it at that.
  15. I read somewhere that average human maybe has 2-3 true friends. And I can agree to that. People who will keep contact no matter how far are you, hang around, stay with you no matter if you have ups or downs etc. Rest are more situational like people you go out, work buddies etc. And if we go further we have just acquaintances. Sadly most people fall into later categories. Would also like to add people who would write you off as soon as you dont do something for them. My friend wanted me to sign some political thing(he made some local party so needs signatures of supports and members). I said that I couldnt do it because I already signed that for my brother-in-law but will be happy to take him to my mom so she can sign his. So we did that. He still got mad at me. Saw him and his fiance yesterday in town on the other side of the street and waived and wanted to approach to say "Hello". He just yelled how some guy is waiting for him and took off. I am sure he will cool off, we are friends for over 20 years, I helped him numerous times through life as he did also for me. But I never considered him good friend exactly because that kind of behavior.
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