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Kwothe28

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Everything posted by Kwothe28

  1. Let me quote myself from previous thread “She literally told you that and that there is nothing there. Women have particular distinction when it comes to potential boyfriends and friends. If they like you they would want to be with you and wouldnt care about some ex. When they dont, you are "friend". Now you may ask why does she keeps you there knowing your intention? As an "orbiter". She likes your attention and she can "offload" about her ex to you. Something btw she would never do if she would even consider you as a "boyfriend material". Get out of there. There is nothing there for you but misery.” And here we are around 5 months later from that thread. And you found yourself exactly where I said you would. In a misery of a friendzone. Because you haven't left on time and still thought there is something there. While she told you its just friendship and nothing else. Get out of there until she starts dating other people and tell you about it. If she hasnt started that already.
  2. Depends on semantics. If they have a casual arrangement, they are not in a relationship. Meaning that they see each other from time to time but without obligations. They can see other people so there is no obligation toward one another. Relationship would mean at least some kind of obligation. Which we dont know if they have any. As far as we know, she has fallen for him while he just views it as a casual thing. I mean you maybe look at any kind of arrangement as a relationship. But again, that is why I said it’s semantics.
  3. I could have stopped reading after this. He is not that interested and the minute something(or should I say somebody) else turned up, he ghosted. Same after the date. He maybe liked attention but he doesnt want to be with you. Just block the dunce and move on.
  4. Lots of single men would be fine with the casual arrangement but will not be fine with the relationship when it comes to single moms. As it does complicates things quite a bit. Its on you whether you want to accept that kind of a treatment or move on. Since you developed feelings there and he didnt(as he doesnt really want to be with you), its for the best to not attach yourself anymore there and brake up.
  5. Some autists dont have a "filter" about what they say. Because they cant really think how it looks like to the other person. Meaning that they dont exactly know how to be emphatic. To him its not really a big deal because, in his mind, it isnt. Its not a defense on him, just maybe an explanation why it happens. Neverthless, you dont have to stand there and accept "Marshalpoo" dynamic of speech and him being rude. Just because he is like that, its not an excuse toward his behavior. This is not exactly healthy dynamic and you shouldnt stay there just because he cant change. In fact, that is your sign that you should leave.
  6. I wouldnt make "I was drunk" excuse. That is a problem you should solve separately by treating your addiction with therapy or AA meetings. Take full responsability. Tell her everything that happened and see if she is willing to forgive you. Say that you are willing to work in regaining her trust and to not ever get into this kind of situation again(though that is kinda cliche, every cheater says they wont do it again lol). You take full responsability and accountability which is good. But you still have a problem that you need to take care. Otherwise it would just repeat. Next time it maybe would not be cheating but a bar fight or something else. hence why you need to work on what made you drink in a first place. What happened is just a consequence of that. Another thing is, she may choose not to forgive you. Which would probably make you spiral even more. But you need to accept the consequences of your actions and work on yourself no mater what happens. Life goes on and its important that we learn from our mistakes and not repeat them. She may not be with you after this but your life still needs to get itself in order. That means working on your personal issues instead of drinking them away.
  7. Just when your vagina was out of state and was too much inconvenience for him to get to there? Hmmmmm... You fell for a player that wants to have sex with anything that has 2 legs and has a vagina regardless of their relationship status. The outcome you got was hardly surprising to anyone but you. Because again, you fell for his act.
  8. She is BSing you. What she means by that is: I can go months without it, if it comes to doing it with you. Doesnt necessarily means she is getting it somewhere else(although I wouldnt exclude that as a reason). Just that, well, you dont “excite her” to do it. Sorry, but this is over as far as that part goes. And with it, probably the whole relationship.
  9. Its not your sole responsibility to handle finances. Maybe your wife is SAHM, but still, many people work even after getting kids. Because you rarely can raise them on a single income. For example, you can work 2 jobs but still not have enough if you have stuff like debt, rent etc. No matter how much you try, if your expenditure is more than your income, you will be in trouble at the end of the month. And that is not solely your responsibility. You and your wife are supposed to be a union. Meaning that you both should work toward having enough at the end of the month. She being lazy and watching TV all day is not your mistake, its hers. If you want to maintain your standard she would have to work too. Otherwise you would have to manage your finances way better. Meaning maybe move to more affordable area if you pay rent or cut back on some other stuff like food or non- essentials like subscriptions on Netflix and other services if you have that. Other thing is, if you feel like you are not appreciated enough, that is because you arent. Your partner is suppose to be your support. Somebody who lifts you up after not getting the desired job or after hard life at the current one. That is the whole point of relationships and partnerships, its suppose to be something that makes your life easier, not harder. Your wife doesn’t make it easier nore even appreciate your efforts in maintaining mutual standards of living. Nore does she wants to help in those efforts by finding a job or probably even cutting back on things. Which doesnt make her a good partner but makes her rather somebody who you would probably do better without.
  10. Given that you cant even see each other once, I would forget about all of this and focus on something more realistic then some guy that is in the army and that you couldnt see for years. I know that you probably have a crush there and see this as "somebody that is meant to be but never happened" but trust me, it isnt. And it will hinder you from pusruing something more feasable in the future.
  11. I dont think you have to worry from your girlfriends side. But your friend is weird. Its common with that kind of types to behave in a toxic ways. For example, him going after her has complete sense given that he probably views this as some sort of a challenge and her as a prize. And that he probably likes her because you have her and he doesnt. Its a bit demeaning to your girlfriend, but he probably views it in that exact way because he is like that. Very bad friend with bad intentions. I would cut contact as much as possible.
  12. Please dont send this. It does sounds really, well how do I put it nicely, “too much”. I am not against you saying that to any woman. But it’s way too patronizing. So much so that I immediately know without knowing anything else about the case, that you are in a friend-zone. You putted her on a pedestal, you think she is all that etc. Which is again, fine. But you wont attract her with that kind of a behavior. Simple: “I am sorry to hear that, hope you bounce back” is more than enough. And not on social media, where everybody can see this. Nobody writes stuff like this on social media. And the one that do, well, they get put on a blast. For a good reason. She wont feel comfortable with you writing that and others who see would probably make fun of you. I know you maybe think this is appropriate response to her post, but trust me, you dont want to do that.
  13. How is this cheating? You guys broke up, he moved to another room, told you that you arent going to back together, in between tried nothing to get back together just like he said, and moved out when he found somebody else. Maybe you expected him to get back together because he stayed in house because of finances. But he was very clear from the start that it wont happen. And he really cant read minds to know you still wanted to get back together. He had no obligations toward you since you arent married and you broke up so he can do whatever he wants. Only obligation he has is toward your kid. And I would suggest to work on that. Meaning splitting custody or even getting alimony.
  14. Liars and cheaters stay liars and cheaters. You really cant expect the person who lies for the convinience sake, not to lie for convinience sake later on. he got used to lying to get out of the stuff. I mean to fake the house move just because he said fake adress to you? Who does that? Did he thought you would "stalk" him? I really dont get it. Same with stuff like inventing debt so he wouldnt take you to another vacation. That kind of behavior wont go away because he has gotten too comfortable with it. Every time when its inconvinient to tell the truth because he would have to do something he doesnt like, he just lies by default. Even for small stuff. You would never get honesty from somebody like that. And it would be best to just move on.
  15. If the norm is to jump in the well before dating somebody, would you do it? I have a theory about "D pics" for example. And that is that nobody would try that move if it didnt work out sometimes somewhere. If those men were not getting positive affirmation from at least some woman, they wouldnt be doing it at all since they would know that it wouldnt work. But like this we are left with people who dont have a "limiter" when it comes to interactions. Same with just saying sexually explicit stuff. Keep in mind that you are basically on "hookup apps". Where lots of people are there specifically for a hookup, and not to find meaningful connection. So their language is adjusted to that. Asking you sexually explicit stuff or even just straight up asking for a sex after 2-3 messages is something that you will encounter rather frequently. I asked about the well jumping because every person has their own limits with who they are comfortable. If your friend likes sexting and has that kind of behavior on apps, doesnt mean you do. Nore that you should follow if you arent comfortable with that. Set your own limits and dont follow a trend.
  16. I feel like you dont see the woods from the trees. Condom thing is largely irrelevant when she is literally in love with another man and just waited for him to end his relationship so they can be together.Good thing you ended it. Sadly, you were the 3rd wheel in there.
  17. Are you fine with sharing her with 2 other people? Because I can promise you those men dont take her out to talk to her lol Get out of there. She is not conflicted with her emotions, she is on a "D carousel" after she got out of long relationship. You dont need that in your life unless you just want cheap fun.
  18. OK, but you do understand that she isnt suppose to yell insults at you and try to actively physically scar you for life with throwing glass objects at you? You do understand that? I am asking because its your first serious relationship. People without too much relationship experience sometimes think that is how relationship works. You know, you spend time together, all is good but sometimes other side gets mad at you. So you let that kind of behavior slide for the sake of relationship. While its true that you do sometimes should let some things slide, it isnt suppose to escalate to the point she insults you and throws stuff at you to hurt you. That is abusive relationship. In fact, if I would bet, I would say she got used to that kind of behavior. Meaning to get what she wants even if she has to yell and throws objects. You just didnt see that before because a) you are not very long together and people are at their best behavior at the start of relationship b) she is only now showing her true colors Cancel the wedding and get out of there. She would probably beg you not too and how she "loves you", but if you continue with this, you will sign yourself to years of domestic abuse. You can do better then this. Also, who is paying for "Bridezilla" wedding? You? Or she contributes also? Because again if I have to bet I would bet she doesnt contribute nearly as much as you. In your home nore for the wedding.
  19. I for one dont care if he is promiscuous. He can have a child in every harbor as far as I am concerned. But did raise an issue about his intensions about raising the kid. OP and probably even him dont have plans of living together. And OP thinks his 6 figure income is enough to cover for some things. Bit he seems to not involve himself too much as a parent. He doesnt know what half of his kids are doing. Heck he doesnt know where one of them even is since mother gave it for an adoption(dunno about local laws but pretty sure he could take custody but again not sure he wanted to raise his secretary kid even though he is the father). All that behavior makes me think he wont be there for OP too much. And that she would be the one that would need to take care of the kid most of the time if not all of the time. If OP is ready for that role, sure. But she should at least know that there is a big possibility of him just not being there. Maybe not even financially. Again, dunno the law there, but sadly lots of men dont pay alimony here or pay it very low. But again she is sure she wont have problems there, so good luck.
  20. You do realize how what you said it doesnt make sense? "Two people against the world" while you are both, lets check, oh, having multiiple other people to have sex and share those moments? One of the biggest leftist streamers on Twitch got divorced. From the woman he was also in an open relationship. Because she, get this, found some Swedish guy and he didnt wanted to share her. So she decided to leave the streamer. And that is one of the big misconceptions with "open relationships". Lots of you think that you can "go around" as long as you go back to each other. While in a reality, it doesnt go like that. Having sex and forming bonds with multiple people carries the risk of people catching feelings there. Especially when it comes to women who in lots of cases see sex as a form of emotional bonding. That is why "open marriages" have abysmal rate of success. Other thing is, you basically played yourself here. You wanted an open relationship. But caught feelings for somebody to who you were a passing thing until some other man becomes available. And when other man became available, you were casted on the side. Which wouldnt be a problem if you viewed all of this as a sex arangement. But again, you caught feelings there. Get out of there while you still can. Before you become a leftist streamer whos girlfriend is leaving him for somebody else.
  21. Such a rookie mistake. You never tell them that you dont like their SO. Because they never choose you over SO. There is nothing you can do here. Its her first boyfriend and he knows how to manipulate her so its useless to reach out. If they ever break up, you can maybe support her then. But this is the lost cause for now. Sorry.
  22. “She literally told me who she is and despite overwhelming evidence that proved exactly that, I didnt believe her”- You right now. First of all, you married a Latina. Might be a generalization but from what I saw at “90 Days Fiance”, they are hot tempered. Second of all, even despite knowing that, despite her telling you that and you seeing that in action, you decided to ignore that and even marry somebody like that. You made your own bed by ignoring the signs. And now are at the brink of divorce because of that. There is no help for what you are experiencing. Dunno if its “90 Days Fiance” situation and if she just wanted a green card. But as far as the marriage goes, this is not something you should put up with. So, divorce is a viable solution for your troubles.
  23. Yes, women who are used to guys cheating on them or even worst beating them. But "nice" as defined by you is a bare minimum of that. Nobody wants an abuser. And everybody wants to be treated nice. And when people say "nice guys" they mean on Redditor mods "MLady" with a fedora guys. Who pretend to be nice but have an alterior motive to do so. For example look at OP. He thinks "being nice" is listening to his coworker who he likes. And that alone should get him her affection. It doesnt work like that. Him listening to her is nice. Him listening to her just so she will like him is not nice. There is a matter of motive involved. For example if I give to charity, that is nice. If I give to charity so I would brag about it or so TV could make a skit about me, that is not nice. Do you get the problem with being nice and what OP was doing? That was opposite of "nice". Even with how you define it.
  24. I mean, he basically did. I dont believe his girlfriend would condone him making a pass on you or even just playing a wingman. Even playing a wingman is a "murky waters" territory. How would he explain that to her? "My buddy needed help so I started talking to this woman"? I dont believe that would fly lol
  25. I fail to see how he doesnt respect you without a concrete example of that. "Doesnt give me full attention" and "he doesnt get up early in the weekends to see me" is not really a sign of disrespect. For all we know you could be somebody who demands attention all the time. Which would be on you. So again, without a concrete example of that, I fail to see how disrespectful he is.
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