Nailzzz333

Thank you for that obviously I’ll learn from my mistakes as I see them now but I don’t want to think I lost something good if it wasn’t

My relationship ended two weeks ago. When I was in the relationship I often felt like something was wrong, constantly had doubts. However now it’s ended, I’m blaming myself for everything, I feel like I took everything for granted. The little things, like when he’d make me a coffee, cooked for me, brought me gifts, woke up early just to walk me to work. Those little things that made me feel so special, I pushed them all away and took them for granted because I wasn’t happy with myself and like I didn’t think I was enough. When I was in a relationship with him it was the first time I’ve actually enjoyed sex in my whole life. However, yes those things were great but I never felt listened to which is important to me, he always prioritised other girls, like when I told him over and over it made me uncomfortable he’d followed his ex’s he wouldn’t unfollow them and would argue with me. This one time, he broke my trust by lying about a big thing. After that our relationship completely changed, I stopped putting in effort because I was hurt my trust was broken and felt like he owed me something. He would still try but after a while he also lost patience for me even when I was trying to be nice. The relationship ended because I found out he slept with another girl and because he fell out of love with me. What he did was *** and wasn’t right but I’m sitting here thinking that I pushed someone away who loved me at some point and that because I kept pushing him away that lead to him cheating. In my defence the reason I pushed him away is because yes he did make me feel special however he didn’t make me feel respected. Like when I’d tell him that following half naked girls made me feel uncomfortable he’d prioritise following them over my feelings. He’d also lie so so much to me about everything such as where he was or who he was with. Like when I found out he cheated he didn’t even tell me and even after I found out he tried to lie about it. I don’t know if I lost someone who loved me but made mistakes or if I lost someone who wasn’t worth my time. I just feel horrible about the whole situation and I know he just wants to move on from it but I can’t because I thought I had someone I could rely on.