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  1. Okay, not sure how much progress this represents, but it's big news for me. This is a week late because I've been soooo busy lately. Anyway, last saturday was a big day for the ol' Square Wheel. There's a nice, attractive woman in a thrift shop I visit regularly, and we've been chatting from time to time. Well, I caught them without any other pesky customers around, and I asked her out. Okay, she declined, said she had a boyfriend. But I still felt pretty good. And my conscience won't be able to bug me for not trying. With my sheltered life, I get a chance to ask a woman out about once every three or four years, so every attempt is a big deal for me. But then, I went to another thrift shop, and found myself exchanging glances with another attractive woman. We didn't get the chance to talk... but then later in the day I saw her again at a different shop, and she spoke! She commented that she'd seen me in the previous shop. I was so flattered that she'd noticed me and remembered me. She was heading out the door at the time, so I only had time for a quick friendly reply. But it was still a great feeling. And as if that weren't enough excitement for one day, I went bicycling on the River Walk that evening, and a very pretty young lady walking toward me spotted me glancing at her, smiled at me, and said hi! I returned a cheery hi as I passed. Wow, what a day! I was walking on clouds the rest of the weekend. So, I'm still no closer to my first date... but having two attractive women speak to me in one day was hugely encouraging. I must have been doing something right! Just need to figure out what, so I can do it every saturday. Anyway, there's another nice saturday coming up tomorrow... can't wait to see what adventures tomorrow holds! Wish me luck!
  2. I met this guy online, and have emailed him on and off for a year. last a few weeks had been intense, we exchanged emails a few times a day. We finally met last sunday (3 days ago), we chatted for 3 hours, he told he "i'll call you" at the end of the date. Monday night, I got a short email from him, just saying it was nice to meet me, and told me what he did that day, nothing significant. I replied next morning. It has been one day, He hasn't wrote to me anything .... I don't know if I like to date him, but I definally enjoyed our pen-pal friendship and like to keep it if possible. In the past, he always replied my email promptly, is his passive action a way of telling me that he is not interested anymore? is the dating rules changed once we meet in person? Any advice will help.
  3. Hi fellow eNotAloners, My absense has been a sign that I've been living my life. Slowly, I got back the rhythms of eating and sleeping and finding my job interesting. It's been 6 months since the break-up. A large part of the hope to start living life again was supplied by taking a decision to post a profile on an online dating website and the people it started to bring me in email contact with. That's all changed after my first date with someone over the weekend. It had a bad outcome, and I've lost a great deal of hope again. We talked avidly for a way longer than it took us to eat -- we both made each other laugh -- she's a very nice girl. A day after the date, she emailed to say in the kindest way she could, that she doesn't see us being any more than friends. That's where the great disappointment hit me. I don't look any different to my picture on the online profile. She knew I'm slim in appearance, how tall I am, all that. So no surprises to vex her. The simplest answer is sometimes the truest - maybe at the end of it all, she didn't feel that chemistry. I was in despair after receiving her email. I couldn't eat last night, nor this morning, and though it may sound extreme, was in no position to come into work until the afternoon. It really has hit me hard. Not so much this one girl. It's not all about her. Somehow online dating had given birth to a kind of optimism that here was another route to meet people who genuinely want a serious relationship in their life. And it's that optimism that died for me last night. Friends tell me online dating takes time, sometimes years to find a suitable person. I don't know if I have the strength for that kind of long haul. Add to that the fact that I'm simply not going to get that many hits - I'm non-white, and starting to get a sense that a lot of white women simply see my profile and click away from it because being with a non-white person is not something they picture themselves doing. Guys, I'm not trying to make this a woe-is-me story, because I've been trying hard to stand up again. Last night I broke down. I couldn't see ahead anymore. Would very much like to know from any others who've weathered the emotional storm of trying to meet/date someone again after a trainwreck's happened in their life. Just need some support from you all who've been there. Thanks to everyone.
  4. So I went out with a guy the other night & it was great! He brought me a gorgeous flower arrangement, opened doors, we had dinner... talked for hours... We had a great time. He's called a few times since we went out, but not nearly as much as he did before we went out on our first date. Guys, is this normal?
  5. I had a first date today with a women I've known for a couple of weeks. It was a lunch date, and things seemed to be going well so after lunch I asked her if she wanted to take a walk (it was a really nice day out)... she did, and we ended up spending the rest of the afternoon strolling through a local park, taking pictures of each other with her camera, and just talking and goofing off. When I took her home we talked for half an our in my car, then she invited me inside to return something of mine she had that I had loaned her. I asked her if she wanted to see each other again and she said yes. She hugged me goodbye, after the hug and I paused and took a step toward her again and tried to kiss her, but she said she felt 'awkward'. I normally don't try to kiss a women on the first date, but thought it was worth the risk this time... only to get shot down. I didn't really know what to say so I said good bye and left. So, what I don't know is... should I call her again? Is getting shot down for a first date kiss a sign that she is definitely not interested? This seems like a dumb question but, as I said, I normally wait until a 2nd or 3rd date to try when I'm more certain.
  6. I went on a date last weekend with someone and had a good time, I think she did too as she laughed alot and seemed like she was enjoying herself. I didn't know what to do at the end so we just sort of hugged and I told her I would be in touch, schedules haven't matched up but we set something up for this coming weekend. I've dated a several girls recently and they sort of fizzled out, lack of interest on my part or their parts. I have tried taking it slow only to have it sort of wane into nothing, I have also been forward and hooked up on the first date and it usually lasts for a few weeks of passion, but then things sort of go stale. It is just difficult to know what to do, I wanted to kiss her, but I didn't want it to seem forced, or put her off. How do you know when to do this? Do you hold hands right off the bat or on the second date, how do you push the intimacy thing forward? I am just confused, and tired of going on so many dates. I have never felt like I have failed and the relationships that started and didn't work aren't anything I miss or even think about, I just wasn't interested too much, or she wasn't interested which makes me also not interested. Sometimes things start off great and next thing I know she is sleeping over, then it gets boring and we go our separate ways. I feel like something is wrong with me, and maybe I am missing something or doing something wrong. I have been in long term relationships and I liked the companionship and being so relaxed around someone, being in love, having a friend, but I don't remember how I got there, just know how it felt, and I can't seem to get back to it.
  7. Well my first real DATE is tonight. Haven't seen another guy since my ex (2.5 year relationship) dumped me 2 months ago. It's strange because I'm neither nervous nor excited. I don't know how ready I am for this. I don't want to hurt anyone (especially myself) and I do feel like getting out there and doing things is the right answer. But while I am over the relationship with my ex (it wasn't THAT great) I still don't think I'm completely over my ideals of what my ex was. I should be so excited, with life and the potential for new love ahead of me. But all I can think about is my ex... Will this be the case forever?
  8. So I've asked a girl out whom I've know for a month and a half now and I just found out she feels the same way I do about her. I became very excited.. I really like her and her personality and... I just like everything about her. But... this is our first date. I've calmed myself down... but I'm still nervous about tonight. Since this is one of my first official dates in my life.... any pointers? ANY and ALL help would be appreciated.
  9. Just gonna edit this thread out not sure I made any sense.
  10. So I am going on a date tonight. We're meeting up for drinks and I've always been accostumed to beer. I would like to start drinking some mixed drinks. Since it's my first date with her I don't think beer is the right choice. I like VODKA and TEQUILLA. What can I order - Mixed drink wise? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Please keep in mind I would like to order a drink that guys have not the chick drinks! lol
  11. I went out on a first date with a young lady last night, and it all went very well I thought. Got to the end of the evening, and I had already asked if she would like to see me again and she said yes, so we sort of stood opposite each other for what seemed like an age, then I moved forward and we gave each other a peck on the cheek, so I thought "Ok, looks promising". If she didn't want to do that, she would have backed away...yes ? Anyway today, I'm so nervous about calling her tonight and sorting out a diner date for the weekend (which I said I would do). Obviously she could have changed her mind, but what I'd like to know is, would a girl normally say yes to a 2nd date, even if she wasn't really interested ? One thing to add, is she's been dissappointed recently by a guy who said he would call and arrange a 2nd date, and never did, so could she be just as nervous at the moment, or thinking I'll do the same (which I'm not, cause I do like the woman). Does this dating lark get any easier ? lol - jez I'm supposed to be 38
  12. Hi all - i've been posting on here in the last year as i have really struggled to cope with the ending of a long-term relationship. I met a guy a few weeks ago at a festival and we spent most of the weekend together, dancing, chatting and having fun. We have been speaking on the phone a lot since and now we have arranged to meet up this weekend. We have a lot in common, he makes me laugh etc....i am looking forward to seeing him again - I am very nervous though as i havent been in this position for a very long time and in my past ive only had 2 boyfriends, both of whom i knew well before we started going out. Any advice on making the day work please??! I am trying to go in with an open mind but i would admit that im not really over my ex-boyfriend despite it being over a year ago now. I know i have no choice but to move on but its not very easy. Am i doing the wrong thing in meeting this new guy or is it inevitable that initially i will still feel sad about my ex? (we ended after he cheated on me after 4 years, ive been gutted as breaking up was the last thing in the world i wanted but had no choice.) Also i had jealousy problems before - i dont have much self-confidence and the little i had was shattered when my ex cheated. How can i ensure this doesnt happen again. I still feel very bitter about it and have lost all my faith that there are any nice people out there - so far this new guy has shown himself to be lovely but im so scared of being hurt again. any advice on first dates and stopping old issues reoccurring welcome! thanks
  13. Okay, I went on two dates this weekend with two different girls. The first was my coworker, which I really enjoyed. The second was with a friend of a friend, and it went okay. It was only our first date, but I wasn't really feeling it. I'm not sure how to proceed with this. My friend is saying not to call her, and not to answer the phone and hopefully she will get the hint. I guess i'm not good with this part, because I really can't be mean to people who are nice to me. I know it's not being mean, but I still feel like I'm being mean. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thanks!
  14. HI Guys I'm meeting a girl for a date this sunday. This will be our first date so i'm not sure on what to do. She did say that she does not want to do the dinner or coffee thing. I have not suggested this to her but i would like to take her to a baseball game (if she likes the sport). What do u think..good idea. Any other ideas on what to do for going on a first date
  15. Hi guys sorry to be a pain, Ive posted before, but very quickly again met girl about 2 weeks ago, met up twice and had one date. Not past talk, light heart convos and contact between is has been shared apart from last 2 or 3 times when I was sorting out 2nd date. Contact has only been every other day or 2 days apart and just hi how are etc, and just sorting out when to go for a date. Not asked past question and been really cool about it. Contact mostly by text, did try to call once but she didnt answer, so not sure if she felt nerves speaking on the phone. She did say she felt a bit shy. Any hows she cancelled 2nd date saying she was not well. What had me confused was she sent her new mobile number a few days before this, contacted me day before 2nd date to make sure we where still going, then day of date she cancelled. She had asked me out for first date and I ask her out for 2nd. She said she would be free all next week and to get back to her. Left things for about 2 days after this, sent her a text asking how she was and was she up for going for a bite to eat if she was ok. No reply which was a bad sign, didnt understand her signals. Tried again day later, she replied saying she had nice time but wanted to leave it at that. Should I have ask was there any reason. Feedback I got last time was suggesting I was playing some game not sure if the ppl replying where reading another post but this was noway the case. Kept the contact light and 50/50. Ive just been cool, only contacted her when she asked and as I said seen her in fact it was 4 times we have met up and one being our first date, and it seemed to have gone well. Just a bit stumped on this one, and felt it was rude to just send me a text saying leave it at that with out some sort of details. But I replied back to no worries thanks for being honest. Any thoughs thanks.
  16. Okay fellow men, let your frustrated emotions out. What constitutes a disappointing first impression by a woman on a first date? Be nice, yet all details are graciously welcomed. I'll start: "Ding Bats"
  17. What do I do in this situation? I don't drink coffee or tea. I was asked to meet for coffee, but I am unsure how to respond to this because I don't drink coffee. I don't drink hot liquids. Any suggestions? Don't say hot cocoa, becuase I don't drink that either! LOL Thanks!
  18. I've had a crush on my closest guy friend for months, but he was too dense to pick up on it. So I told him on msn. I gave him about a month to get used to the idea (and to teach myself how to flirt, lol), then I asked him out. We're gonna see a movie on Friday, a "first" for both of us (as we're both too "academically inclined", or "nerdy", to have done this type of stuff before). I'm SERIOUSLY freaking out. You'd probably describe me as more "intelligent" than "pretty", 'cos of glasses and lots of frizzy hair to hide behind , but I'm kinda quiet and shy. With everyone - guys aren't the problem. I get really uncomfortable if I'm outside of my comfort zone. I am REALLY outside of my comfort zone now. As for the guy - he hangs out on the library computers with his own little circle of geeks. He is incredibly nice and intelligent. And I FINALLY worked up the guts to actually set a date, place and time. This Friday. Need help fast!!! Going to see Casino Royale. Although, it's been out for a while so the cinema might be kinda empty ... which only means MORE panicking. Problems: 1. Social anxiety - what if there's a cute guy behind the counter when I buy the tickets? I can't handle it if there's a cute guy behind the counter, no matter who I'm with. > 2. What am I going to talk about? How am I going to keep from being tense and strained at keeping up conversation for a few hours? Why didn't I make it a group outing??? Then again if there were any more people around, I probably wouldn't talk at all. 3. What if I see some of the "popular girls" around when I'm with him? They'll be "nice", but they'll make me feel like I've "let them down" somehow. I know it's stupid. Being at the bottom of the pecking order makes you stress about this a lot. 4. I just checked - it's his 17th birthday the day after we're gonna meet (I'm already 17). Uh-oh. Should I do something? All I REALLY have to do is make sure he has a good time, but I'm not sure I even know how to do that!!! 5. I joke around on msn sometimes about, I dunno, kissing and stuff. Like, I keep accusing him of using his school textbooks as surrogate girlfriends because he spends so much time with them, that sort of thing. He doesn't say anything to disabuse me of the idea - I think it's a nerdy type of flirting. Actually, I am TOTALLY inexperienced. Probably, so is he, although he's only shy when it comes to relationship-stuff. So it's been mostly me "making the moves" up 'til now. Like, flicking his shoulder to get his attention whenever I walk past (which he now reciprocates), that sort of thing. He definitely doesn't seem to mind, but it's half killing me every time! We'd be still just "good friends" if I hadn't done this, I feel like the pressure is on me to make this work, and that's really stressful!!! I mean, I don't know if he even wants me to do anything... all I know is that I'm 17 and never had a guy admit he likes me before (he actually said so, on msn a short while ago), and my teenage hormones are starting to get on my nerves. Help!!! WHAT DO I DO??? Thoughts, comments, suggestions, whatever! I NEED THEM!!! Oh yes, and one last thing. How do I tell my parents? They won't freak out or forbid me, it'll just be humiliating having to let them know. >
  19. Ever go on a date with a person, make up your mind that you will only be friends with him/her, and then by hanging out you end up dating? Or is this too much of a longshot? Are first impressions everything?
  20. Alright! I met this girl a few weeks back - or rather, we went out on our first date about 2 weeks ago. Now I know a couple of her friends and one came up to me and told me she was excited about our first date, so that kinda showed me how she felt about me. We went on the date and spent a lot of time together. It was cool, no problems. Ever since then we've been hanging out.. a lot. Spending the night over each others' houses and stuff like that (no kissing / making out or anything, just hanging out, which is cool). The thing is... well.. sometimes I like to chill by myself. I do like me time, and usually night time is the only time that I can get it! I don't mind spending 2 or 3 nights a week with her, but it seems like every night she wants to do something , or not even something, just me coming over and watching a movie / spending time with her.. it's kinda overbearing, some nights I just wanna come home from school, lay in the bed, watch tv, get on the computer, and fall asleep. I hate having to make up a tale of having to do school work or something like that to avoid a night with her. It's not that I don't want to spend it with her (because it's nothing wrong with her), I dunno.. Maybe it's because I'm not really in a rush to be in another relationship (she knows) - I think I may need a little bit too much me-time sometimes, but it's just how I am. Or maybe I should just hang out with her during the day so my nights can be free? I don't know, I'm bad at expressing emotions and whatnot - just kinda stuck in a lull here. Any suggestions? Or strangely enough, like all shy people I'm bad at saying "no".. maybe if I just said "I'm a bit tired tonight, we can hang out tomorrow though" it would be okay.. *sigh sigh*
  21. You can go to the movies!! is dark in there, and the movie is the main focus. Besides is not considered gay watching a movie together with another guy. (at least not in here) And talk about anything, whatever comes to your mind. That cool Seinfeld rerun you saw earlier that day, that interesting book you've been reading... really don't worry too much about that, IMO having a date where you've scripted what you'll say is kind of... dunno, boring? Good luck!
  22. After a great first date, how long does a guy usually wait before calling you if he likes you and wants to ask you out again?
  23. Hey all, Thanks in advance for all those who are going to read this and give advise. OK well I started conversations with this girl about a week ago.We met on Match. We have been talking on the phone every night and we really get along well. She is a very "good" girl. Meaning she is very responsable, never has done a drug or even smoked a ciggarette, never been drunk and is one of those people who wake up early in the AM. She is 24 and I am 31. I know there is a bit of an age gap there but it is no biggie. Anyways...we finally meet lastnight for the date.We went to one of these places where you can shoot pool,play video games,skeetball.....stuff like that.So we were having a good time playin pool..little flirtting back and forth.....so we basically stayed there for 2 hours or so. She suggested we go someplace else..just to chill and talk....being that it was late already and she wasn't going to be drinking I didn't suggest a bar or anything....she already ate so getting food was out......I then said "Well we could go back to my place if you are comfortable with..I mean I understand if you aren't cause it is the first time we are meeting and all". She says " Yeah that's fine as long as you don't try to seduce me or anything"......I said (playfully).."define seduce"..........she said " you really need a definition for that".......I said " Well I mean if I tried to kiss you is that no good ?". .......at this point I was basically trying to see where I stood with her.....so at the end of the night I would know wether or not to go in for the "goodnight kiss". She then says " well I don't kiss guys on the first date".....I said (shocked) " really?"......She says " yeah why..you seem shocked by that....you never met girls that don't"............I said "well no actually...usually on a date and things are going well...it usually just happens". She says "well I don't...does that mean you don't want me to come over?"....................I said " NO!!...of course I want you to come over". So basically we went back to my place hung out for a couple of hours and watched some comedians on TV. I then walked her out to her car...I said.."well don't worry I won't go in for the kiss"....we gave eachother a nice hug..thenaked one another for coming out.........I told her to call me when she got in ..so I knew that she got in ok........she did.......I asked her on the phone if she wanted to get together again sometime next week.....she said " yeah..gimme a call when you get back from Atlantic City and we'll pick a date"..........................I woke up the next morning and saw a text message from her on my computer...it just said...."hey". Here are my questions/problems with lastnight............... It was very hard for me to tell if she was really into me Do you think she was telling the truth bout kissing on the first date or just flat out didn't wanna kiss me. She seamed "slightly" apprehensive when I asked her bout the second date....now I don't know if that was me just reading to deep into thing or if she really was. How sould I proceed in this situation here...........let's say we do go on a 2nd date.....should I move in for the kiss at the end of the night...not sure what to do................would a girl really go on a 2nd date with a guy if she wasn't interested? Any help you guys can give me here would be a help....thx for reading....Chris
  24. Just curious guys, if a girl has sex w/u on the first date, will this affect how into her you are?
  25. Ok, I have been in an LTR for some time now and haven't been on a first date in a fairly long time. I met this woman on link removed and we are either going to meet in the park and go for a walk or meet for a glass of wine. I think it more likely we are going to go on the walk. Any ideas on how to dress?
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