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Found 4 results

  1. My boyfriend of almost two years watches cheating porn alot. Whether its women cheating on their husbands, or seducing the viewer to cheat. Ive expressed to him how this makes me feel and hes told me multiple times he wont watch it anymore but I just found more on his phone. This makes me nervous that hes going to cheat and makes me feel gross like I'm not good enough. What do I do???? (Im sorry if this is the wrong forum to go to i just need help)
  2. I am freaking out. I (M29) just got back from a trip to California with my finace (F32) and I made a horrible mistake. Quick background: We've been dating for several years and have never had any infidelity issues between the two of us. Last year, we got engaged. I love her so much and still want to spend the rest of my life with her, but we started to have some bedroom issues. She began gaining weight and doesn't see herself as sexy right now which began to affect our intimacy. We went from having sex a few times a week, to maybe once or twice a month. I would try to console her and make her feel sexy in any way that I could (date nights, gifts, words of affirmation), but nothing seemed to work. I am very active with sports and working out (not a bodybuilder by any means, but athletic) and I find my libido might be naturally higher. Needless to say, this has caused some bumps in our communication as of late. In any event, we went to California seeking a romantic couples getaway, but our bedroom problems persisted. The last night of the trip (Saturday 3/19), I became frustrated and decided to go on a walk after she went to bed. I began striking up a conversation with a woman I met on the street and we decided to get a drink at the bar down the block. I had already had a few drinks and she was cute so I started talking with her. I figured I would at least gain some comfort speaking with someone else to get my mind off my fiance. This is where things go south. We had a few drinks and she suggested we walk on the beach. I agree. She suggests we go skinny dipping and I agree, still feeling the high of talking with someone else and flirting a little bit. We end up kissing. One things leads to another and she ends up giving me oral sex. At the end of the act, she stands up and I see a something hanging down there. Not only was I shocked, but also confused, angry, curious, and wildly drunk. I wanted to reciprocate the generosity and love someone for who they were so I began stimulating them as well. Shortly after I started, I stopped without finishing the job. I was horrified with myself. Not only did I cheat on my fiance, but with a transvestite. The crazy thing is that I'm 100% straight. I know that may sound strange given what occurred, but it's true. I have no desire to be with a man, but I think curiosity simply got the better of me. In my moment of weakness, I wanted to feel love and provide it as well. I walked back to my hotel room where my fiance was sleeping. She woke up. She asked where I was and lied by telling her I went for a casual walk to another bar. After some back and forth, we went to sleep. The last few days have been a living nightmare for me. Not only am I not eating, but I feel violated, dirty, and horrible that I have lied to her and myself. I'm throwing up in secret because of the stress. I don't recognize myself in the mirror, and have intense anxiety when I am around her (we live together). I have no idea what to do, or who to turn to. I can't confine in any of my close friends for fear of the social repercussions of my bi-curious actions. Part of me wants to come clean and tell her the truth from start to finish, but I am terrified of what she will do and who she will tell. She has said before that if I ever cheated, to be up front and tell her right away. She has been cheated on intensely before in past relationships, but has openly said it's better to tell her immediately if I cheat. In the same breath, she condones any sort of bi-curious interaction and said she would have to rethink our relationship if she ever found me doing something like that. To add fuel to the fire, I just received an STD test today to ensure I haven't made matters worse. My results will be in on Friday. Please please help me. I love with woman with all my heart and don't want to lose her. I am also guilt stricken and terrified of the fallout from being bi-curious. I have two issues. The cheating, and the bi-curious nature of the cheating. My options that I have come up with are: 1. Tell her nothing and live with the lie regardless of the personal stress to my body and mental health. She won't ever find out unless I tell her and our relationship will continue on. 2. Tell her part of the story, but not all of it. I cheated, but maybe it was with a girl instead of a transvestite. This is a half truth and I feel I won't truly feel satisfied with my confession, but it may save my relationship. 3. Tell her everything. I'll feel better about telling the truth, but the fallout could be immense. It's possible that we can work through this, but I think it's almost worse for me to confess and then say "you can't tell anyone about the bi-curious stuff or i'll be ruined". That doesn't seem fair to me. I'm feeling extremely scared and alone. Please help.
  3. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months now and everything's been more than perfect. He treats me super well, gives me all the needed love and affection. However, recently I found his tumblr account. Turns out he often reblogs and likes explicit content, and nudes of other girls. Of course this made me super uncomfortable. I'd say our sex life is pretty good, we have sex a lot and I often send him nudes myself, so it's not like I don't satisfy him. I decided instead of confronting him about it, to test if he'd lie to me. So I waited for a good moment and started a convo about how I find it super disrespectful when a guy likes other girl's "sexy" photos online. I asked him if he does that and he said no. (I expected him to deny ofc and wasn't surpised). This sparked a long conversation tho and he started saying things like how there's always a line where the girl shouldn't cross to try and control her bf and brought up his ex and how she was controlling and would be mad at him for just saying hi to other girls or complimenting their outfits for example. Of course I agreed with him and said that's absurd and I wouldn't do that, but repeated that it's still disrespectful to like other girls' nudes online if you're in a relationship cus "you got food at home". He agreed and again said he doesn't do it and wouldn't do it to me. At this point I didn't want to be the crazy *** who stalked him so I didn't tell him that I know he does it. I decided to give him a chance and see if he will continue doing it. I thought maybe if I was in the same situation I'd deny it too to avoid conflict and not risk losing my partner over it and then I'd just stop doing it once I know my partner finds it disrespectful. However, I checked his tumblr again days later and turns out he still does it. I'm willing to forgive the lie about it at first, cus I thought maybe he'd feel guilty about it and stop doing it, but now I don't know how to feel. He completely disregarded my feelings about it because he thinks I'm never gonna find out. I know some people would say it's just like watching porn and that men are horny and that it means nothing, etc. but it makes me uncomfortable and even if I get over my insecurities about it, I don't know what to do about the trust issues I now have because I now know that he is capable of lying straight to my face with no remorse. What should I do? Do I confess that I know he lied or just try and forget about it and not check his tumblr anymore to keep myself sane???
  4. If you look through my activity history, you may find I've struggled with overattachment, low confidence/self worth and overall unhealthy relationship habits. Since then (four years ago) I have taken an interest in psychology and self improvement. I'm still young (24f), but through therapy and further education, I've come a long way. Now, for the content you came for: Four years ago, I met Brad (name changed for privacy). It was an instant connection. I was able to communicate with him effortlessly. He brought me peace, comfort and security when I was with him - not to mention the chemistry between us. The 11 year age gap scared him though. He was an up and coming business owner, afraid that our small town would paint the relationship in a bad light and affect his years of hard work. Although hurt, I respected his wishes, and did my best to move on. Since then, I have refused to enter a relationship with someone who didn't make me feel the way he did. (Spoiler alert: no one has.) So, over the last few years I've focused on myself and improving myself, both as an individual and as a mother. I feel very confident in who I am now, makes a world of a difference in choosing who is worth my time and who isn't. So, imagine my surprise when Brad messages me asking if we could meet and catch up, he wanted to apologize for how he handled things years ago and express how he's been kicking himself since. Being who I am, I was skeptical. Part of me wanted the opportunity to put an end to the fantasy of him I had built in my head years ago, and part of me knew that when I saw him I'd be in trouble. So, when we met, I stood my ground. Even though I was just as drawn to him in that moment as I was four years ago. He makes me feel... respected, heard, understood and desired. Over these past few years, I've come to realize how rare those feelings are. The connection we have feels powerful and unreasonable. Unbreakable, however naïve and ridiculous that sounds, even to me. But here's the kicker - he's in a relationship now, with two young children. It's been a month, I can't get him out of my head. And I know he struggles with the same. I respect his relationship, but my feelings seem to have a mind of their own. Essentially, I've come to be involved in an emotional affair, playing the role of the "mistress". We steal moments together, just to be near one another feels good. I don't morally feel good about it, I know his girlfriend is a good person who does NOT deserve to be cheated on. No one deserves that. He fears that if he leaves her, he'll lose time with his children. He loves them more than anything else, and I get that, of course. I'm not a monster, but I am in a conundrum. I suppose I don't necessarily need advice. I know what I SHOULD do. I know I should leave and make him figure it out himself, but that seems impossible now. Just wanted to get this mess off my chest. Thanks for listening.
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