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Sindy_0311

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Sindy_0311 last won the day on August 11 2023

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  1. I agree 100%. When I divorced from my ex husband we both were dating casually other people, and he happened to sleep with a girl I also know. He confessed to me that he only viewed her casually as he wasn’t that attracted to her. On day, a few month ago, I met this girl in a bar and we talked a bit. She asked why he would never respond to her texts in a timely manner, why he wasn’t taking her out on dates, and why was sometimes so rude towards her during the time they were hanging out together (she happened to develop feelings for him) she would always help him and be there for him, so she asked me how I could manage to have a relationship with someone so inconsistent and disrespectful. I just told him that I never experienced this behavior form his part. With me, he has always been a gentlemen from the start. He was all in. So I definitely think men can portray different behaviors or communication styles depending of the woman who is standing in front of him: which is why I suggest: take the f** hint and run…
  2. At least he wasn’t afraid to give you a faux impression about what his intentions are… I definitely would not have gone on a second date according to the sexting + his lame response. I remember the last guy, ´red flag guy’ (the one I had to cut of because he didn’t want to invite me over) after our 3rd date he texted me something like « maybe you deserve a slap on your a… » this text really bothered me, and I called him out about it saying it was to soon for this kind of exchanges… (we had only kissed at this point) when I think about it now, I regret I didn’t cut him off right after that text because it was a clear sign that his intentions towards me were never serious. (Then followed by other strange behaviors that I overlooked because I already was to attracted to him) I cannot grasp the fact that a man having serious intentions towards you would take the risk to make you think otherwise or doubt it. From now on, when a guy gets sexual to early in our conversations, I just take the hint and either cut him of, or date him casually, which is exactly what is happening with my current one… EDIT: was great to put a face on your name @rainbowsandroses You look so beautiful. Giving you my face for a short time too 😉
  3. I agree and operate the same way. If a guy tries to sext before a date, or before we even got intimate, I either next him or address it, it depends on how he presents in general. I also heard of many guys being cautious in the way they physically approach woman, some of them are afraid of rejection or of sexual harassment accusations. Maybe sexting is a way to approach them less directly, as you said to "test waters" to gauge a woman's interest... A lot of them are also afraid of being friendzoned in the beginning which can explain the early stage sexting. The guy I mentioned yesterday, who was trying to sext with me, I wasn't in the mood so I just ignored him for a little while. But today I was willing to do it and we had a few exchanges. He told me how he can't concentrate on anything else, and how he is looking forward to meet again etc... Somehow I think it can build attraction and connection when its done good and in a playful way. But not when you are dealing with a stranger you never met... makes no sense...
  4. Great attitude as you say… we all want that special person… but unfortunately we live in a time where I don’t think it’s a probability. To many options due to social media. When you feel good with someone you think about your other options because you know you can swipe and find a better person. It’s so easy. I’m the first one to acknowledge that I’m thinking of finding better when dealing with someone. Because I know I can meet whoever I want the next day. It’s sad, but the relationship our parents or our grandparents had no longer exist. We live in a world of insta fashion, insta food and insta relationships… Everything is ephemeral. When I met my husband, 15 year ago, things were different. But now… OMG… in 10 years things changed a lot and I realized I had to accept it and I just wish my 8 years old son will experience true love once in his life… 🙏
  5. Dating (especially OLD) is tough nowadays. You better get prepared to never find what you are looking for… Just act accordingly to your standards, and if no one can meet you there, make sure to build a happy life by your own. I gave up on the fantasy of finding my partner… I’m trying to just have the best life I can. If I happen to meet him, then great. If not, I will be fine… I will be ok with casual flings because I think this is what people have to offer nowadays. How could it be different in the world we live in…
  6. I never ghost, but I observe and then decide. Having sex with someone doesn’t imply this kind of sexting. I expect a bit more than the usual “been thinking of what you did to me last night, how and what if etc…” If the only thing that comes out after first sex is this kind of text, yes, I do get distant. without any regret. I think that what a guy says or how he acts after the first time reveals a lot about his intentions. I knew of some men trying to be more delicate after first sex because they didn’t want the women to think it was only about that. If a man is only sexting about first sex, you better assume he wasn’t pursuing you for your brain…
  7. Ok, I didn’t read all the replies, so I might repeat what others said… but this is how I proceed: when I guy tries to sext before we even got intimate I tell him: “as long as I like texting ( or spending time) with you, I reserve this kind of communication for someone I’m being intimate with.” By replying this way, you make him understand that at this stage, you aren’t ok with this kind of exchanges, but neither are you completely prude and open to sexting once the relationship has evolved in something more meaningful. Look, I had sex for first time with a guy yesterday. It was our 3rd date. And tonight he began trying to sext me ( i can sense it even if it’s not that bold) I didn’t reply. I’m not interested in that, have other stuff going on. If it’s just about sex, they better wait or go their way. You don’t have to accept that. I never sext with guys when I’m not comfortable to do it.
  8. As I always say, when you feel you have to protect yourself from someone or something, it’s just your gut feeling telling you that it’s not where you belong… you are doing great. With the right guy, you won’t have to second guess for a second. You both will just click… this is why I still go on dates, because I’m sure someday I will experience this. I wish you will too!
  9. Is this really a red flag? Or is it just a mismatch… I don’t think this guy showed any warning signs outside the fact that his personality didn’t align with what OP was looking for. I think we over use this term, because the guy can easily meet someone more reserved like he is and she won’t see it as such. Red flags, to me, apply to people who pretend to be someone they are not, or who have intentions contradicting to what they pretend… Anyway, I’m glad you made your decision and don’t worry for him. He will be fine. If I can suggest something for the next time you have to « reject » someone, don’t say you didn’t feel the romantic spark… just say that you both seem to want something different from a relationship. Because if you say you didn’t feel the spark, they will automatically assume it’s because of their looks, which is always a hard pill to swallow… just my opinion…
  10. I corrected by saying this: but I do think OP should go on another date and try to see if there is more attraction. For some people, first dates/meets are a bit stressful and they don’t really can figure out whether there is some potential, even more when it’s a short meet… maybe worth it to dig a bit deeper and not having regrets later on.
  11. You do know I don’t let men on their toes. I get intimate pretty quick with them around the 5th date. So I’m not playing games. And if he looses interest because he won the prize, better sooner than later I’m ok with it. I just think that dating is like a dance… you make a move, he makes a move, you open up a bit, he does the same and vice versa while keeping some heathy distance in the beginning. I don’t know how this is playing games…
  12. I agree, let’s not use the “confused” word but rather “trigger interest” or “arouse curiosity”
  13. I do like kissing. As I said I don’t kiss if I’m repulsed, but only to confirm that I’m not feeling physical attraction enough to be willing to go on another date. Sometimes you can kiss a man you aren’t that attracted to and the kiss feels so good that it makes you change your mind… it happened to me once or twice when I was casually dating. And I happened to have second dates with these people.
  14. I know… I’m sorry for you guys. So its better not to assume anything based on a first date. When I like someone, I’m more willing to take my time, let the attraction build and some tension to be created… I like it when you ask yourself whether you are going to kiss them on the second date, what it will be like. I like to leave men a bit confused after the first date and give them a chance to fantasize about the kiss or what is going to happen or not. I think they like that feeling too…
  15. I usually don’t kiss the guys I’m attracted to on the first date or meet. I don’t feel the urge to do it because I know we will have other opportunities to kiss. and of course I don’t kiss if I’m repulsed… 😂
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