SydThaKid

I don’t think it would bother me one bit. As for now that’s something to address if or when the time comes

Relationship was fine once upon a time. Not one to stick around for the kid, as bad as it sounds It’s not beneficial to any one to stick around for the kid. Interestingly enough I did not say I was currently talking to or flirting with anyone. I don’t see how doing such a thing fits into the healing process I’m going through/therapy, that’s just me though. it’s been months and also I’m not sticking around to rekindle. But I do hear you on your stance and appreciate the advice

Like her healing process is done or nearly done. I’m coming to terms with the damage the relationship must have done to her because I know the damage it’s done to me

It was discussed in the conversation we had last night. I’ve become a firm believer that many problems can be solved with proper communication. Though I did realize where I was wrong the common theme from last night was lack of communication on both of our parts. Holding things in and growing resentment for your partner. Not a healthy habit to have but I believe it’s a trauma to address on both of our parts.

I appreciate your advice. I agree with your thought process of it’s like an adult not knowing fire will burn. We spoke last night and I realized I may have been at fault for more than I led on in the post. It’s one thing to acknowledge what you can see you’re doing wrong or what is communicated to you that you’re doing wrong, but the things that aren’t communicated to you that your partner holds in out of hurt…. Yeah I’ve been wrong about a lot more than I thought. Economically things are hard right now and I wouldn’t make her homeless. The assumption across the post is that we still mingle and not just co exist in this house hold and outside of the child that’s pretty much it.

To my knowledge, no. Has openly said that she flirts with people from time to time but nothing serious

Thank you for the advice and kind words. I’ve never wanted to know what she has going on in her respective therapy. I may be the topic of conversation or our relationship and she’s fully within her right to discuss those things or anything else as she sees fit. We’re exes and we have been for months. Once you start to flirt around with other people and telling your ex to move on and not wait. I convinced there’s no hope

Not working the best I must say. I find myself wanting something that I probably never will have again. And going if we don’t reconcile is a conversation to be had with her. She’s a “one thing at a time” type of person and I don’t see her even conversing about therapy or counseling while she’s still in her own individual therapy.

We’ve spoke to doing couples therapy if we ever considered getting back together. For now we’re just figuring things out on our own

I am a firm believer that people change with time, but the fact he got with the person he said you didn’t have to worry about and came back around after they broke up I wouldn’t give him the time of day.

Hi, I’m new to this website but have read on several topics and figured it couldn’t hurt to try and seek some advice of my own. I started to date an old friend a little over four years ago, and the relationship was great. A few months went by and we found out she was pregnant. Fast forward 9 months later and we had ourselves a healthy baby boy. I myself already had a boy from a previous relationship that had failed and I was determined to make this one work. With the birth of our son came her suffering from post partum depression. It was hard watching her suffer and trying to be there to support her but also knowing it wasn’t enough. Having a kid was taxing enough but in the middle of the Covid pandemic made things all the more challenging. Sometime later I found out she had been communicating with someone she used to talk to. They were never in a formal relationship with each other but history existed. I’m a firm believer that you don’t entertain others when you’re in a relationship. She essentially told me this was her first relationship and she didn’t know what was and wasn’t acceptable. We also hadn’t discussed boundaries. She wasn’t wrong with what she said but I interpreted as an excuse. I still chose to stay even though I was heart broken because I felt like I had poured a lot into the relationship. Looking back I should have broken up with her and moved on but I instead stay and ultimately subjected her to a form of mental warfare. I flirted with other woman, found myself entertaining a coworker’s shenanigans. I went out drinking and would come home late. She eventually broke up with me, and while we did get back together the relationship was never the same. Move forward another year and a half of normal relationship issues, myself working a lot of stressful hours (I work in a field that regularly demands 60+ weeks when work is in demand), and her working one day a week but being at home with a toddler everyday, she broke up with me again. Part of it was how we both were as people. Stubborn and often inconsiderate of the other. 8 months later and I’ve found myself still wanting my relationship back. We still live together, in the current economy it’s the more economical decision and we both get to be around our son on the regular. We have both gotten into individual therapy for our own respective reasons and have dedicated the time to healing ourselves from the relationship and past traumas that may have come before then. We still do things as a family, only a select few people know we’re not together and we’re given our kids the two parent example even though we’re not together. Sex has happened since we have broken (only when she initiates it). And we talked about getting back together. I was initially told in time, and these days her response is for me to do what I feel is best for myself and not to wait on her. I really do feel like she is in her healing process and a relationship wouldn’t help but not sure if I should take her up on her advice or continue waiting knowing she may never come around and if so not for me. I’m not sure what to do and am looking for any advice or insight. Thank you