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MrsWise

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  1. Thank you everyone for your insights. However, I don't see any way I can make him stop messaging me other than deleting Facebook which I really don't want to do since I had this Facebook for more than decade. I have all my old classmates from high school and some of my relatives overseas and it's easier to keep up with their lives Not to mention I also use it for business. I would have to start all over and change my name then add everyone back so my ex can't find me. Just because I don't want to go through that hassle doesn't mean I want to leave the lines of communication open. Any normal person would back off if you tell them not to contact you I've already told him not to contact me once I was done with his bs. I didn't engage with him last time he attempted to contact me. Blocking him isn't working because he will just make another account to get around it...which he has already done twice now. I changed my settings to private and took away the option for someone to add me as a friend unless we have mutual friends. Facebook no longer have the option to take away the messages option where no one other than your friends can message you. Other than deleting my Facebook, I don't see what else I can do other than continuing to ignoring him and hope he will eventually get bored and move on
  2. Last time we spoke which was 6 years ago, he dropped me like a bad habit and ignored further messages from me. I was tired of the roller coster ride and him coming in and out of life. I changed my contact info and deactivated my Facebook account. Few years later I went back on Facebook..only to have him clogging my inbox with i miss you messages. I responded and basically told him not to contact me anymore and I didn't want to hear from him. Then I blocked him. This was a brand new account he had open with around 20 friends . I thought that would have been it. Then a year later he makes a brand new account to message me. ..stating he knows I blocked him but was hoping to hear from me because I never left his heart. I blocked the brand new account then forgot about it. Now months later, he has opened another account and it appears he's starting one since has few friends on it. He basically said hey how are you, it's me Xxx? Ugh..why does he keep messaging when i keep blocking and not responding? Is he getting kick out of this? Last time we were in contact, he showed lack of interest and would often ignore my texts then dropped me like yesterday's news..Also it appeared he was with someone else based on his availability to talk one minute then work popping up at the last minute. I could never confirm this since we live 4 hours apart. Deleting my Facebook isn't an option since I use it for businesses etc.Not to mention it helps me to keep up with some of my relatives overseas. W ill he eventually give up if I don't cave? I'm thinking to stop blocking him and I just ignore him. I feel like blocking is also giving him fuel as it is an reaction that he's getting to me. How effective is silent and not bother blocking ?
  3. There's this older gentleman at my work who is always friendly in passing. We work in completely unrelated departments but we always exchange pleasantries. Sometimes we have brief conversation about work and what not. Nothing too personal. Recently he told me that he went to this beautiful beach near the the side of town l live and was telling me how beautiful it is. Then he suggested we go sometime ..just casual not big deal. And then he said, let me know whenever you want to go. And he left the ball in my court. I just said sure in the heat of the moment. I continued acting normal whenever our path crossed and still greeted him but I never brought it again or followed up because I figured I just couldn't be bothered. Now he's distance and not as friendly. I thought it was just a casual hangout. Was he expecting more? Is he offended that I just brushed it off?
  4. The reason why I hesitant to deactivate my account is I use my facebook mostly for face book groups for my youtube channel. Other than that I hardly use it. As a matter of fact, I temporary deactivate my face book for 4 years some time ago because trying to severe ties after he left me for the umpteen time and completely blew me off. I was so hurt and I vowed myself to not get involved again. He had no way to contact me and it helped me to move on I had to go back to Face book 2 years ago when I opened a youtube channel so I can join the face book groups to get engagement on my new channel. So use it soley for that. As soon as I reactivated he messaged me stating that he had been looking for me for years and is happy he found me. This was around the time I told him that I didn't want to hear from him and not to contact me again. Then I blocked the page he just opened. Now here we go again. I'm going to try creating a new page and rejoin the groups. If i get accepted . Then I will deactivate my real face book
  5. Is this a new feature? I tried to change my settings to only have friends message me but there isn't that option of only having friends message me. Is it widely available in other Countries ?
  6. yes, I've already told him to not contact me again and blocked hi main Face book account. He kept coming in out of my life and I was sick of it. Now he made a fake face book account to get around that by saying he misses me and hopes to hear from me, but I think he is just bored and will leave again at some point
  7. My ex won't respect my wishes of me not wanting contact and keeps reaching out by making fake Facebook accounts to get around me blocking him. It's making mad to point I want to write out a nasty response. Which one would eat at him more..silence or a nasty response? Has anyone been ignored by an ex? we you hurt
  8. My ex and met on Face book 10 years ago and we hit it off. However, after 5 months he broke it off because he felt like we don’t live within reasonable distance to support a relationship. We live 5 hours away from each other of driving distance. We still kept seeing each other because we couldn’t let go. We wanted to be together but in practice there was a great distance separating us Then he ended it again because he lost feelings, according to him. We ceased contact only for him to reappear stating he misses me then we started seeing each gain. He went cold again and ended it again for the same reason, the distance. We would reconnect and hangout over a period of 3 years until things started going downhill. He started bailing out in the last minutes arrangement to meet up and he became distance. Then he claimed he lost his job and can’t visit me. He withdrew but I kept contacting him and he ended up telling me that he needed space. I reached out again after 2 months only to learn he met someone local. I decided to move on. Then he reached out again after months and we reconnected. It became a wash and rinse repeat cycle. He would reach out stating he misses me. Once the excitement wears off goes cold, bail on our plans to meet in person. Last time we reconnected I suspected he was seeing someone else close to were he lives because he was behaving sketchy. He was flaky and He stood me up on skype. Then gaslighted me when I gave him flak for it. I finally had enough last time when he dropped me because of the same reason, distance and ignored my attempts to contact him. I was so hurt. We didn’t talk for 4 years because I deactivated my face book profile and changed my number. He had no way to contact me. I reactivated it 2 years ago and within a month he opened a new face book account and messaged me claiming he has been looking for me all these years and he feels like he is dreaming. he misses me alot. And left his number to message him. I downloded a texting App and messaged him telling him not to contact me and reminded me how he treated me last time. I didn't even wait for his response. I deleted the app then block him on face book. He was out of my mind. Until today when I checked message request only to see it was from him using a fake account. He basically said how i never left his heart and he knows i blocked his main profile and is hoping i will message him back. Now i have so many thoughts running my mind..I'm scared to give in because I don't want to get hurt again. why won't he give up? are we meant to be?
  9. I do not enjoy the attention, I usually just find it easier to say I'm not available or don't date co workers which is true than outright saying i'm not interested in dating you. And this usually work in other cases and some men back off and leave it alone. it's not comfortable having a conversation like that for me if i don't have to, so I usually try that and if doesn't work then outright reject them which isn't fun for me. which i have to do in the case unfortunately
  10. I will stop buying his food and laughing at his comments and halt them going forward. I also want to add that he has asked me point blank if I will date him if I was single before. I told him no because I'm against dating co workers because it changes the work place environment and if something happens then you're forced to see that person and I don't want tension at work. He said he understand and see what i mean and back off for a while. Which is true especially considering that fact I've been with the company for 8 years, have build up my senority and have medical benefits. So quitting is not an option which why I try to avoid office romance like plaque
  11. it's big cooperation and we work in the same related departments where I have to talk to him for work related
  12. Thank you guys for your response and insights. I do agree that I'm not being firm with him and being more firm will get him to back off as he's clearly not getting the hint. However, i do not think I've encouraged him either because any contact he has tried to initiate that isn't work related I've ignored. at some point he sent flirty texts to which I ignored and he hasn't tried to contact me outside work since i never encourage it when he tried. As far as his business goes, he cooks and sells meals as side hastle every now and then usually announce it other co workers as well. so who ever is interested he will prepare something for them at work along with mine so this exchange took place at work. Except for one time when i didn't have cash on me and he suggested I pay him using E transfer so I had to message him asking for his email so i can process the payment and the exchange was strictly business. Then after he confirmed that he received the payment , he thanked me. Which was followed by him calling me to which I ignored As far as his personal life goes, I found out through a grapevine. His ex wife also works for the same company but different departments. I don't really engage in personal conversations with him. The only thing he has told me that is now single and gave me his number. But I told him that I'm not single and never called him and he said he understands.. then backed off for a while but has continued holding up hope. And at some point ignored the fact that I told him that I'm not single. The flirty comments he makes at work every now and then I usually just laugh them off as joke or change the subject.At some point he stops making flirtly comments or try to get with me and seem to be given up then it starts again so yes, I know that I need to be firm and he is taking my politeness as maybe or i might change my mind later
  13. One of my co worker was married to another woman for few years when i stated working with him..Then his wife left him and is not pregnant with another man. They are divorced now. As soon as his wife left him, he started pursing me but i was not interested. So I told him that I'm not available. I was not in relationship with anyone but I was casually dating. I thought that would be the end of that. periodically he started joking saying he will wait for until I am single. after a while he would ignore the fact that I told him that I'm not single and tried to message me outside work but would always ignore his messages because i did not want to lead him on. He even sent flirty message to which ignored. Then the following day he was like I won't bother you anymore, you're not interested . That was the end of that for while but he would continue to make light jokes here and there. Until one day when i tried buying food from him( he sells food on the side) and when it was time to call me for payment arrangements, he asked me why are not together if we are both single and said that is the reason why he called me. I told him that I thought this was strictly business and said I'm not single( which was a lie) and if i were single i don't like being involved with co workers which is true because i like to keep work and personal life separate. He said he understands and backed off for while but will make light jokes about us getting married. Recently he was on sick leave because he hurt his leg and as soon as he came he asked me why i never texted him to see if he was okay. I thought about checking up on him but decided against it because I didn't want to send the wrong signals. now he has been persistance again telling me he wants me in his life and he needs a women. I asked him if he's forgotten what i told him before to which he replied..that was before, this is now He also told me that he is trying to lose weight for me. Also, his birth day is coming soon and he has been asking me what I'm getting from him. He also said he wants us to have candle night dinner together at his house...to which I'm not going. I know I haven't told him point blank that I'm not interested in dating him because I don't want to hurt his feelings. And cause tension at work.I was just hoping he will give up and move on today i have to tell him point blank I am not intrested which will put me in awkward position..i hate confrantation
  14. Unless he is divorced and living separately from his former wife, he's still married. Separated = still married even if he moved out. Until they have both signed on the dotted line for the divorce papers. still living at home? ?Then you're the other women plain and simple. That's the oldest line in the book
  15. When we met online, we hit it off. we met in person and the connection and chemistry was undeniable. He stayed at my flat for 2 weeks.And he asked me to be exclusive but the problem is we live hours apart. But he said we will make it work. When he return to his town, he confessed to me shortly that he slept with his ex. According to him she started reaching out to him a week when he was planning to see me and she knew about me as he told her. When he returned home she asked him to hang out and he accepted with intention of just chatting. one thing led to another they ended up having sex. he called me crying all remorseful and said he will cut her off for me so i gave him a second chance. only to find out that he started talking behind my back. so i told him forget it. you can have your ex, but he begged me and said he wants me. him and his ex begged me for them to still talk because they are just friends . i finally said yes you can talk. Then a week later he tells that they made plans to hang out..i wasn't having it and at this time i said if you hangout i won't see him again. That's when he agreed and said he didn't want to lose me. but he stayed in contact with his ex behind my back until she lied to him about something, now they don't talk anymore. Going forward, the distance didn't help our relationship. He started expressing his discontent by saying that I'm everything he wants in a girl but I'm too far away and sometimes he wants to ask me to hang out after work but he can't. When he broke it off he told me that he still wanted to see me because we had made plans to meet in person prior the distance took it's toll for him So we still met and had great time. But before he left, somehow the conversation came up and he expressed his discontent with the distance and said we should see other people. so I said okay even though I was hurt.. I even started crying. Then he said to call him when I'm ready since he still cares about me. We got back in touch on a casual basis. Then we started talking on regular basis again and made plans to meet. We met then I noticed he was disinterested in sex. We used to do it twice a day whenever he visits me but then we only did it twice for the 4 days we stayed together which was initiated by me. When he got to his town, he told me that he had something to tell me. We made arrangement to talk on the phone to discuss what he wanted to say. When the time came, I called him only for him to start avoiding it as if he was nervous. Then I finally told him to text what he wanted to say. That's when he said, he doesn't feel the same way he used to. I was shocked and hurt. Then he called me 2 days later wanted to see if I was okay. We spoke and he said the last time we hung out he just wasn't feeling it anymore. I said okay. but he still wanted me in his life but told me he will give me space and to text him when I'm ready. 2 weeks later, he was already texting me telling me he misses me. I ignored these texts as I wanted space but he kept texting telling me that he realized that he misses me etc. I was happy since I missed him too. We started talking again and made plans to meet. When we met we had good time but the sex frequency had decreased and he seemed distance. Once I returned home, he was barely responding to my text. so i said what's up? you don't seem into it anymore. Then he says, 'yes, " I lost feelings " I was hurt once again and sent follow up texts to which he ignored. and that was it. I deleted him on my face book so I can move on. Then 5 months later he returned stating he misses me . He added me back on face book and I accepted but told him that we are still 5 hours apart so the same issues that pushed him away are still present so it's best we move on. He responded and said, " I just wanted to see how you're doing" I didn't initiate contact after that until he messaged me again " asking me if I found someone else which is the reason why I'm not calling him? and he left his number and said he misses me. I finally texted him and we started talking again like old times and he said he wants to see me. We met and all was well. We had great time. When he return back home, he stopped answering my texts then said the distance is too hard for him. We didn't talk again for another 5 months but this time I didn't delete him on face book. He hardly posted. Then he suddenly liked my new profile picture I had posted after 4 months. Which lead us to start talking again. We made plans to meet again and this time I visited him. All was well but he seemed distance and disinterested. When we had sex he only lasted a min the first time and he apologized which is understandable since I I know it's normal no big deal. But then every time we did which was initiated by me, it he only lasted a min and I suspect he was doing it on purpose after more than 2 times. idk. we use condoms so I couldn't tell. when I returned home, ofcourse things fizzled once again. Rinse and repeat. Last time we got back in contact, we had been planning to meet for the last 6 months but the plans kept falling through due to schedule confliction. The days he is off, I'm working and vice versa. finally we made plans to meet and set a date and everything only for him to cancel because he had to bay sit his friends dog which was followed by him losing his job so he can't come to see me. Like I said, I offered to help financially but he didn't respond. He was planning to come to see me but he any money so I told him that I can send him money through Western Union for his ticket but he didn't respond to that then he stopped responding to my texts. I started getting worried so I kept sending him numerous texts messages asking how he is and if he is okay to no avail.I then started calling him and he didn't answer.When I get no response from someone I care about I freak out so called him 11 times in row until the phone started ringing once and going to voice mail which means he was pressing the reject button. To my horror,he sent me a text message that read ``Please don't contact me anymore``Please I need space``I then apologized for bothering him and told him that I just wanted to see how he is.He didn't respond after that . We didn't talk for 2 months until i messaged him and it turned out he met someone closer to him. so went no contact after that..only for him to start reaching out twice over the course of a year telling me he missed me. I gave in, but it wasn't long until he started blowing hot and cold until he stopped initiating contact then ended it again citing the distance and said " maybe in the future when we are at a place we can move". This time I was done with him so i blocked him every where Shortly after that, like 4 months later i met another man in my city and fell head over heals with him. I hardly thought about my ex while seeing this new man and it's been 3 years. things between me and this new man didn't work out..until my ex made a fake face book profile to contact me..ofcourse i blocked the account and didn't respond. but it has re opened old wounds..now i think about what my ex put me through. I know I allowed it and shouldn't have walked away sooner now looking back but i had no experiance in dating or to spot any red flags. please don't judge me. I thought things would get better but instead i gave him more opportunity to hurt me. i definately learned from this. does this mean I haven't healed from my ex even though it's been 3 years?
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