Would you take the dumper back if they got with someone else?

[MrsWise]

If the dumper gets with the girl that he told you not to worry about within a month of leaving you and then comes back around months down the road when the relationship ends..would you take them back if you haven't moved on? Why or why not?

[Capricorn3]

1 minute ago, MrsWise said:

If the dumper gets with the girl that he told you not to worry about within a month of leaving you and then comes back around months down the road when the relationship ends..would you take them back if you haven't moved on? Why or why not?

Nope. He made his choice. Let him live with it.

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, MrsWise said:

 leaving you and then comes back around months down the road when the relationship ends..would you take them back if you haven't moved on? Why or why not?

It's not a good idea. Whenever an ex contacts you it's for their own reasons. Horny, lonely, bored, just got dumped, etc.

It's not an epiphany that they loved you. Otherwise they wouldn't toss someone like trash. It's actually insulting that they have the nerve to think you're waiting around for them. 

[boltnrun]

Nope. 

He only came sniffing around because his source of sex or companionship left him and he's feeling horny or sorry for himself. It's not about you, unfortunately.

[catfeeder]

1 hour ago, MrsWise said:

If the dumper gets with the girl that he told you not to worry about within a month of leaving you and then comes back around months down the road when the relationship ends..would you take them back if you haven't moved on? Why or why not?

I wouldn't allow a dumper to come back regardless of who he saw or didn't see after me. It's not about him, it's about me and how I want to live. I'd never feel peaceful with someone who's already dumped me, I'd expect him to do it again. So what's to ever trust about him now?

[ShySoul]

Given the situation presented here, it's probably not a good idea. If there was really nothing with the girl, something probably wouldn't magically develop within a month. If he wanted to be with you, then why would he have given you up in the first place? It would require far more time and him having to do a lot to earn your trust before he should even be considered again.

However, I've learned to never say never. Just because two people break up and see other people, doesn't mean they can't get back together eventually. It depends on the situation. What were the cirumstances of the breakup? If someone cheats, is abusive, or something else really hurtful, then don't take them back. If it's a peaceful split, two people agreeing things aren't working out at the time, then the door is open should things change in the future. Have both parties taken the time they need to work on themselves? Has whatever caused problems in the past been addressed? You never know what can happen, so I prefer to leave as many options open as possible.

Think it also depends on what is meant by "dump." Feels like some people throw the word around to describe any breakup. But there is a difference between someone leaving you for another person and someone simply saying they need time to themselves. Not every end of a relationship has to have a villian or a dumper/dumpee.

[ShySoul]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Whenever an ex contacts you it's for their own reasons

What if the reason is to say they are sorry for how they treated you? They don't make any effort to push to get back with you, but just want to make right whatever happened. Do you at least consider being friends? Or do you assume something is up and they have other reasons?

I know it depends on the situation. But something similar happened to me. My heart wasn't set on her anymore, but I respected her enough to listen and I knew she was being sincere. She did love me, just not in a way that would lead us to being together. Speaking to an ex doesn't have to be a bad thing, as long as you are emotionally ready to handle it.

[MissCanuck]

No, I would not take him back. 

He clearly sees you as Option B and you would have to be seriously lacking in self-respect to go that route. He wouldn't stick around anyway, so it would only be a matter of time until he dumps you again. 

[SydThaKid]

I am a firm believer that people change with time, but the fact he got with the person he said you didn’t have to worry about and came back around after they broke up I wouldn’t give him the time of day.