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Everything posted by Wiseman2

  1. Delete and block him And All his people from All your social media, devices, contact lists and messaging apps. You need to shut down all the main routes as well as backroads. Also review your social media privacy settings and be more mindful about who you allow to view your content and what type of personal info you are displaying. You can either continue to invite his contact by refusing to block or reset your privacy settings or you can ignore him (which you're not...you're getting annoyed)
  2. Why do this to yourself and to him? Either date men your parents approve of or have selected for your arranged marriage or stand up for yourself and this man. But sneaking around and treating him like a dirty secret is not good for you, him or your relationship.
  3. Ok. Then contact an attorney and discuss your options for divorce. There's no point complaining or trying to fix and change someone who you state is abusive. You're not his mother or psychiatrist and if he doesn't want to get help, unfortunately that's his prerogative. You need to leave, not procreate. It's that simple. Diatribes and dissertations about his defects won't help you as much as getting yourself together and leaving.
  4. Are you sure? Sending useless letters that are not enforceable nor useful has nothing to do with "poor conduct" (your wife does not have to pay you while you're divorcing) and "amicable" also means that you are fighting and fighting and this attorney was bombarding them with pointless letters about you wanting spousal maintenance, rather than filing in a timely fashion.
  5. Only you can see your physician and get appropriate treatment for your depression/anxiety. No one can "drag you down into it", particularly since you seem to apply an evil motive to whatever it is that actually bothers you about him. Your post is quite loaded with hatred and contempt. Is he abusive? You go on and on and on and on about how you "transformed" yourself and he won't "get help", but you don't really mention what he is doing specifically that makes you despise him this much.
  6. Unfortunately both A and B seem toxic. They are not your friends, they appear to be backstabbers. Stay away from both of them and make friends you can trust and steer clear of nebulous situationships, in general and particularly with messed up people like this.
  7. Excellent. Perhaps his adult children/grandkids are visiting. Perfectly normal. Make sure there's enough going on with your friends, family (although you probably don't have the family situation he has), hobbies, interests, groups, clubs, volunteering and work. He's not treating you like a casual arrangement. He may be babysitting his grandkids for his daughter and that's fine. He's old enough to be your father, so he has different priorities and a fuller life.
  8. Given the on/off and dancing around, you don't need a thunderbolt to the head to know there's a thunderstorm. Why hash, rehash, then rehash again? It's been dying you both knew that and she explicitly stated very often how unhappy she was but on deaf ears, last time and again this time. So why talk about it again and again?
  9. Try to avoid this type of situation. There has been no real or live interaction. This has many red flags for a scammer, catfish, someone in a relationship, etc. It's always a red flag when someone contacts from afar and uses recordings to communicate. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Instead get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and promptly meeting local real-life real-men.
  10. She has no incentive to when her attorney keeps getting unenforceable letters. Does this lawyer know you're not a millionaire who wants to buy her a new Maserati? Because that's how she's blowing through your money. Anyone who would even suggest all these nonsense letters is a shyster.
  11. This isn't ghosting. She was clear and frank about why she gave up and ended things. You act like you don't care about her, it was on/off and for the same reasons. The relationship wasn't going anywhere and neither of you were happy or resolving anything.
  12. This isn't about boundaries and talks. This is about deciding to end things with a clown like this to save yourself all the embarrassment and disrespect. Is This The Same Man?:
  13. Why not? You're dating 2 mos. and sleeping together. Why pretend to be coy if you're having sex and dating exclusively? Certainly a simple communication is not that big a deal. Try not to play games under the false pretense of "self-respect", as far as delaying replies, not texting first, etc. These games are for teens not a mature man with a life of his own.
  14. Ok. Hopefully this gives you the closure you need so you can move forward. It sounds like he found someone else to have sex with. Sadly you should have moved on when he broke up. Don't just try "NC" in the vain hope that you can "love again in the future". Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Stop worshipping men who toss you out like trash.
  15. He needs a life outside of dating, especially if he has adult kids and grand kids. It sounds like this is more casual for him. Is he widowed/recently divorced? He left the ball in your court, so if you are interested just text him. Not some joke, meme or other nonsense...but actual communication.
  16. Invite him over for coffee/out to dinner/over for dinner/out to lunch. Maybe it's your turn to initiate and invite him or reach out to him. Maybe he's tired of doing all the work? What do you mean by "elderly"? A few years older than you or a 70 y/o grandpa?
  17. That's fine. It doesn't sound like a rescue team needs to talk you off the ledge about some butterflies about a new women. Take your time. Relax, do stuff, plan for when she gets back. Not every uncomfortable sensation is a reason to run to a therapist. If you want that fine. However, everyone feels nervous now and then, the trick is discerning what it paralyzing/pathological from what it simply the body's warning system or a heightened awareness of new/uneasy feelings given the novelty of this situation. It's also important not to make your nerves her issue. Just take some breaths and make an appointment for down the road if this is a recurrent theme.
  18. Focus on being respected. It's less fickle. Focus on being smart. That's in your power. Allowing an unstable person to influence financial decisions is not "love". Perhaps it's time to see a physician for an evaluation of depression, anxiety, etc. because obviously therapy alone is only making you worse.
  19. Letting someone with undertreated severe bipolar disorder with psychotic episodes advise you on finances, assets etc. is like hopping on a plane with a pilot who's drunk. Every time she starts going on about how you should run your life, close your eyes and picture those planes flying into the WTC. Work on your excessive dependence and excessive submissiveness.
  20. Ok. Keep in mind that you may be overwhelming people with racing thoughts, tangential thinking, etc. Also manic episodes can be like a run-away train of me me me me thinking, feeling and expressing too much of that.
  21. Does this make sense to you? Hanging out with this guy is making your mental health much worse.
  22. It would be best to discuss your finances with your bank, financial advisor and account. Someone who has psychotic episodes is not the best confidant or financial advisor. Take this opportunity to free yourself from the bipolar roller coaster you have subjected yourself to. Why go from an abusive marriage to an abusive relationship? Don't you want peace and happiness in your life?
  23. I think you know using someone as a receptacle to lose your virginity is a bad idea in general and especially a coworker and particularly someone with a BF.
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