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Wiseman2

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Everything posted by Wiseman2

  1. Good sign. Sounds fair if you split costs or alternate treating. Good call to slow your roll on the motel thing. If things go well the time will come.
  2. At 30 days dating, it's always possible that things don't pan out for whatever reasons. Especially if there are already miscommunications, cultural misunderstandings, a mismatch in expectations and neither of you have your own place for any sort of privacy. Just lay back, see how it goes and if things keep stalling just move forward.
  3. Actually, that's very bad advice. It facilitates ruminating and wallowing and staying stuck. The first stop is to see a physician to evaluate your overall physical and mental health. Then ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. Mental health is not a DIY situation. In fact your untreated unaddressed depression contributed to the demise of the relationship. Get more involved in life. be active. Take up sports and get involved in fitness. Join some clubs, groups, take classes, get a side hustle, volunteer. Stay busy, make new friends. Sitting around contemplating your navel is the same inertia that put you in this place so it's time to change things.
  4. Immediately delete and block her from all your social media and messaging apps. Report this assault to the police. Get a restraining order against her.
  5. So she's unstable and suicidal? If so you need to get out of the picture and she needs to rely on trustworthy friends, family and people who care about her and her mental health.
  6. How old is she? You need to Stop "playing this". That's precisely why she cooled off. You're trying way to hard to get in her pants and she sees this. It's 30 days dating. You're completely incompatible. She's looking for a respectful exclusive BF who she can get to know and and you're looking to go to motels asap. You're jumping the gun and coming across like every other horndog out there.๐ŸŒญ
  7. Happy bday. Don't ruin it by holding your breath for him for more months and months. Instead, treat yourself to a wonderful time with friends and family.
  8. The first thing to do is stop sending nudes. That can go viral in a nanosecond and end up on trash like pornhub. The second thing to do is be more secure and stop "giving him good food at home", as if you're competing with this online sleaze stuff. The third is to stop revolving your life around policing and patrolling his online activities, then use nonsense roundabout discussions to change his behaviors. Dating 12 weeks is to see if you are compatible and it seems like you are not. Cut your losses. Stop sending nudes. Stop policing. Stop dancing around the elephant in the room with rhetorical sounding talks. Most of all don't make the same mistakes in your next relationship. It's not your job to be anyone's pornstar. It's not your job to lecture on what you think is "disrespectful", particularly since you are distributing nudes of yourself.
  9. Yes it seems to be. Ask your people not to talk to him. Also don't speak to his people. It's creepy that he's doing these end runs around you to polish his imagine. It seems he knows he's a heel but doesn't want to look like one. What is the significance of this necklace and why would he have it if it's yours? Is it possible there's someone else? It seems sort of sudden, chaotic and laced with guilt.
  10. Sorry this happened. What was the breakup about? Did you live together? How is it "our dog" if it's really your dog? Why would you want to reconcile? It seems he's using the "let's stay friends" exit. It's an attempt to soften the breakup. It would be best to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Focus on moving forward with your life in peace. Don't drag the past around with you. Sometimes poorly placed diplomacy backfires like this and is misconstrued as hope. Have you dated since? It may be time to get back out there.
  11. This is a cat and mouse game, not a relationship. She's abusive. Run ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ.
  12. Yes it is time to end things. Quite a few red flags, the most glaring is no sex/affection for a year. Then his withdrawal and the stagnation. Top that off with snide insensitive remarks, untreated /undertreated depression and yes, that is a formula for ending it. Free yourself from this. You'll be much happier.
  13. Congratulations on the new career/job. Be easy on yourself it's stressful in the beginning at a new workplace. Sorry about the breakup it will take time to heal. Keep saying to yourself: "I'm doing quite well and I'm only human". Stay in touch with supportive friends and family. Try to make friends at work. Bring donuts or something to a meeting or the breakroom. Learn people's names. Smile a lot. Get a LinkedIn profile and join some professional organizations. Look up your new workplace and "connect" with people there, stay in touch with former classmates as well. Keep reaching out to new and old friends. Not to confide in about the breakup, but to reconnect and strengthen connectedness to people.
  14. Sorry this is happening. How old is he? Were you living together before? Make sure he pays you back for everything you invested in the house. Make sure he's paying you rent if he's staying there and you moved out. Unfortunately it's unclear why he went along with all this then decides he's depressed and has to find himself. He's had 4 years to decide what he wants with regard to you, commitments, etc. It's odd that he comes upon this only after you invested your money in this house. Was he living with his parents before or spoiled? Of course people can travel and progress in their careers while owning a home, married etc. After kids that changes of course. Take your time, step back and reflect on what's really going on. Don't coddle him or wait for him.
  15. Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating. Stop putting up with abuse and coddling (comforting) him. Dating is not about social work or upsetting each other so much that you need comforting all the time. It's best to stay away from stereotyping and psychoanalysis such as 'codependent', etc. End it and cut your losses. You're incompatible, it's that simple. He is too selfish and immature for you.
  16. Sorry to hear this. How often did you and your ex see each other in person? It seems you are having difficulty transitioning real life real in-person relationships. Perhaps this is not the guy to date if after 3 mos. you feel lukewarm and have had only 8 dates. Get on some quality dating apps with a good profile and pics and start talking to and meeting local available men for a low-key in-person coffee.
  17. Exactly. Which is why it's best to be honest with yourselves and part ways so you are both free to find more suitable compatible partners.
  18. But you are imaging the worst. So much so that you use this as an excuse to treat him like a prisoner and act in controlling invasive ways. Was he a monk in college? Doubtful. But you either let go of that or you let go of him. You can look at rings but somehow you think rifling through his stuff will make you happy and secure?
  19. How old is she? Ok. Between talking about being dumped "again" in a few months and pet snails ๐ŸŒ, you need to run ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ. Is this the same girl:?
  20. Sorry this is happening. Do both yourselves a favor and set both yourselves free. Dating 20 weeks and already toxic, on/off drama indicates you're not compatible. Stop trying to fix or change each other. That's the toxic part. It doesn't "take time", in fact that's another toxic element... dragging it out like this. Be kind, make a clean break and delete her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Move forward in peace. Next time don't try to force fit everything because the sex is good once in a while.
  21. You need to stand up be kind and end it. It's not working out for either of you. Stop being a snake and cheating. Add to that you have the hots for your other "best friend" who you are already emotionally attached to and emotionally cheating with. Don't string anyone along like this. She may be even happier than you to finally end this lousy sham and be free.
  22. Sorry to hear this. You're frustrated clearly because you don't have a relationship. Sadly his words and actions indicate he doesn't want the relationship. No it's not normal to have a hard road. Your relationship seems quite strained and conflicted. Step way back from this. Why chase someone who clearly doesn't want to make time for you and who frequently talks about wanting to end it? Free yourself from all this. Make a clean break and move forward in life with someone who wants to be with you.
  23. Where's her father? Did he pay child support through 18 and is he paying for college and expenses? Are there other kids in the house? Stop with the resume writing and passive-aggressive books. Obviously that's not helping. This seems like a mother-daughter conflict. You seem unhappy with life and exasperated by being a working parent. Why isn't she going to a college where she can live on campus? Why hasn't anyone helped applying for student housing and scholarships and loans? Living in a dorm or with other students would help her become independent a lot sooner than nagging, books about growing up and getting annoyed. Only pay what you want. That means if she wants a phone, car, clothes, etc. She'll need a job. It's that simple.
  24. You were rewarded having a loser like this exit your life and free you to date decent honest men.
  25. Sorry to hear this. Is it your house? Does she pay rent? Yes, let her move out. That way you can live with and support your own kids and their partners as you see fit. Since your GF was not consulted on this she should not have to pay toward you and your household of kids and their partners.
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