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Wiseman2

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Wiseman2 last won the day on October 15

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  1. Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating. Stop putting up with abuse and coddling (comforting) him. Dating is not about social work or upsetting each other so much that you need comforting all the time. It's best to stay away from stereotyping and psychoanalysis such as 'codependent', etc. End it and cut your losses. You're incompatible, it's that simple. He is too selfish and immature for you.
  2. Sorry to hear this. How often did you and your ex see each other in person? It seems you are having difficulty transitioning real life real in-person relationships. Perhaps this is not the guy to date if after 3 mos. you feel lukewarm and have had only 8 dates. Get on some quality dating apps with a good profile and pics and start talking to and meeting local available men for a low-key in-person coffee.
  3. Exactly. Which is why it's best to be honest with yourselves and part ways so you are both free to find more suitable compatible partners.
  4. But you are imaging the worst. So much so that you use this as an excuse to treat him like a prisoner and act in controlling invasive ways. Was he a monk in college? Doubtful. But you either let go of that or you let go of him. You can look at rings but somehow you think rifling through his stuff will make you happy and secure?
  5. How old is she? Ok. Between talking about being dumped "again" in a few months and pet snails ๐ŸŒ, you need to run ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ. Is this the same girl:?
  6. Sorry this is happening. Do both yourselves a favor and set both yourselves free. Dating 20 weeks and already toxic, on/off drama indicates you're not compatible. Stop trying to fix or change each other. That's the toxic part. It doesn't "take time", in fact that's another toxic element... dragging it out like this. Be kind, make a clean break and delete her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Move forward in peace. Next time don't try to force fit everything because the sex is good once in a while.
  7. You need to stand up be kind and end it. It's not working out for either of you. Stop being a snake and cheating. Add to that you have the hots for your other "best friend" who you are already emotionally attached to and emotionally cheating with. Don't string anyone along like this. She may be even happier than you to finally end this lousy sham and be free.
  8. Sorry to hear this. You're frustrated clearly because you don't have a relationship. Sadly his words and actions indicate he doesn't want the relationship. No it's not normal to have a hard road. Your relationship seems quite strained and conflicted. Step way back from this. Why chase someone who clearly doesn't want to make time for you and who frequently talks about wanting to end it? Free yourself from all this. Make a clean break and move forward in life with someone who wants to be with you.
  9. Where's her father? Did he pay child support through 18 and is he paying for college and expenses? Are there other kids in the house? Stop with the resume writing and passive-aggressive books. Obviously that's not helping. This seems like a mother-daughter conflict. You seem unhappy with life and exasperated by being a working parent. Why isn't she going to a college where she can live on campus? Why hasn't anyone helped applying for student housing and scholarships and loans? Living in a dorm or with other students would help her become independent a lot sooner than nagging, books about growing up and getting annoyed. Only pay what you want. That means if she wants a phone, car, clothes, etc. She'll need a job. It's that simple.
  10. You were rewarded having a loser like this exit your life and free you to date decent honest men.
  11. Sorry to hear this. Is it your house? Does she pay rent? Yes, let her move out. That way you can live with and support your own kids and their partners as you see fit. Since your GF was not consulted on this she should not have to pay toward you and your household of kids and their partners.
  12. Your parents are right not to encourage an abusive relationship. Read up on abusive relationships. He has every red flag there is from quick involvement to berating and wearing you down to isolating you. Do you work or go to school? Do you have close friends to spend time with? How isolated and depressed has this horrible creep made you feel? Since your parents are supportive, ask them to take you to a physician for an evaluation of the depression and anxiety. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. Immediately end it and block and delete him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Get help to understand why you are staying trapped in this.
  13. Ok. You're oversaturation with her family is because you're wearing out your welcome.. You need to stop imposing and staying there. There's nothing "controlling" going on. Stay with your own family. No one has a gun to your head to camp out in her family's home.. Her house her family their rules. Pack up all your stuff and go back home where you belong. You're using her and them for your own convenience.
  14. Ok, if you are stuck in a lease, then you'll have to psychologically distance yourself from this. Do not coddle or entertain any further discussion.
  15. You don't have to leave. He does. Does he pay your rent or storage? Why is he in your place? Are you addicted to drugs that he gets you? Is this a crack house? What do you mean leave? Leave what? He's in your place. Change the locks after all his belongings are out. Since he does not live there he has no right to be there. Sorry to say, but if I were your landlord I would evict you immediately for having someone there constantly whose not on the lease, hoarding, filth and trashing the place and having your guest curse at me. I would also charge you for destroying the property and all the repairs and clean up. Watch out for the sheriff at the door. You are breaking a lot of laws and perpetuating a lot of lease violations.
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