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About Me

  1. I wish I wasn’t mixed. I’m 18. I’m black/white; African dad, European mom. I currently live in the United States, but growing up, I lived all over Europe. My dad is a former professional football player and he played for a few clubs in Europe, so we moved frequently when I was younger. We settled in the States after my dad retired. Been here a few years. I’ve always been a bit insecure about my mixed heritage. And it’s always made me feel guilty cause my parents are really great, loving and supportive; I’m lucky to have them. I feel like my feelings are a betrayal to them. But I’ve just ne
  2. Hi everyone, I need help with my current situation in life. I need to change my personal life. I love my family very much but I’m feeling held back and it’s stifling. I would like to start learning web development to work on a new platform idea. My problem is I live at home and I’m already 51 years old. I don’t have savings but will find a way to pay for the classes. I don’t even know where to begin explaining. I have many questions but most importantly is do you think it’s too late to start over at my age? I don’t feel confident but I will start over somehow. Please ask m
  3. So I've found out that my boyfriend watches porn and it made me feel really upset and angry and hurt. It makes me feel like I'm not enough to make him happy, it makes me feel like he fantasizes about these other women and he would rather be with them than me. It makes me feel like I can't live up to it... ultimately slashing my self esteem and making me feel really down and rubbish about myself. I've talked to him about it and he tried explaining that it's not like that, he doesn't know or care about these people it's just visual stuff and it's no big deal and he was only watching it becau
  4. I just want to vent a little. It pisses me off when I'm walking with my girl and she makes eye contact with every guy that passes by. And when we're sitting in a restaurant or anywhere in public, she has to make eye contact with every guy that sits near us or passes by. It annoys me, because I know how guys think and they love it when they get a girl (especially when she's with her guy) to make eye contact with them; it's sort of empowering to them. I believe that browsing at other guys is not all that bad and that's a separate issue, but I'm talking specifically about making eye contact wit
  5. I (M35) have been talking with this woman (32) since last December and we have met once (date went great). Our conversation have been extremely deep and we do have common values as well as goals in life. She is kind and smart but very, very emotionally sensitive and introvert. She also has tendency to "withdraw" every now and then. After our last date, we already made initial plans for another date. However, I noticed she started to flake - not responding to messages quickly and sometimes even left messages to unread. After a few days, my anxiety got a better off me and I called her out.
  6. My boyfriend (BF) (31) and I (23) have been in a relationship for 7 months and things are starting to get semi serious! I am debating moving in with him and getting a job in his town after grad school ends in May. He also wants to propose in August! This is a huge step for me, and I am getting a bit nervous about this because we had a very rocky start and I still get anxious about the things that happened in the beginning of our relationship. First, I want to mention the things that I love about him. I love his commitment to me. He has consistently been mentioning marriage to me and
  7. Okay so my boyfriend and I are both pretty insecure. This is something we are aware of and working on. Anyways, the other day he was showing me something on his phone and happened to scroll past a porn video he had saved on his phone. I have always told him I don’t care if he watches porn and have kind of an “out of sight out of mind” policy about it. I don’t mind the idea of it and I know pretty much every man watches it but seeing it for myself made me sick to my stomach. I also asked him a few weeks before if he watched it and he said no. I’m not sure why he lied because we are usually pret
  8. I never thought this sort of thing would bother me, but it's starting to. *Every* time my boyfriend talks about other girls (friends, ex girlfriends, girls he used to like, etc.), he puts in a comment about how good looking they were, or how big their chests were, etc. Some examples just from today: "That girl I went on a few dates with last year, Kristina... she was a REALLY beautiful girl." "There was this girl at Radio Shack yesterday undressing me with her eyes. She was seriously gorgeous. Amazing chest." "The girl from Craigslist selling the bike was so good looking. If I were si
  9. Hi I wish for some advice regards an insecurity I've reflected I possess within me and would like to work and correct. A person I was very close to, now has a real negative opinion of me, called me some awful things and has completely blocked me from everywhere. I have this need and feeling to reach out and prove to that person that their opinion of me is wrong and that I am nothing like what has been said about me. Your help and advice is appreciated.
  10. hi guys. i'm seriously lost on what i should do right now. my boyfriend keeps insulting me on things i'm super insecure about and he knows that it hurts me and makes me cry when he does (most notably my school and my teeth and how i don't have too many friends). i'm going to community college to save money for graduate school and transferring to a university out of state close to where he's going, while he's probably going to a university better than mine since his parents are college professors and he thinks he's immune from getting rejected from the fancy school he has a legacy in. i won'
  11. Hi folks. I'm a newbie - here because I need some outside perspectives with something I'm finding hard. I was married a few years ago.. no kids or anything, so when we split it was a very clean break. He's out of my life permanently, and I stepped away from his family and some mutual friends in order to achieve this (which hurt, but it was the right thing for me). I'm free as a bird and although I had to make a few difficult choices along the way, I'm happy with my choices and the space it gives me to pursue something new. I've now met a really lovely man who I adore - but his circum
  12. Hi folks. I'm a newbie - here because I need some outside perspectives with something I'm finding really hard. I was married a few years ago.. no kids or anything, so when we split it was a very clean cut. He's out of my life permanently, and I stepped away from his family and some mutual friends in order to achieve this (which hurt, but it was the right thing for me). I'm free as a bird and although I had to make a few difficult choices along the way, I'm happy with my choices and the space it gives me to pursue something new. I've now met a really lovely man who I adore - but his c
  13. Hello all Im sure this isn't a new unique situation to some people, and I'm sure everyone will be screaming the same answer at me. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years now and things have been getting progressively worse under the surface while remaining happy in the outside. I'm in a total rut right now and honestly, the prospect of what I have to do terrifies me. Arguments are a regular accurence now, and honest communication between us is impossible now because I have to be so careful about what I say as she gets very verbally aggresive towards m
  14. Relationship advice My girlfriend and I have been dating 10 months. We have a great relationship most of the time. She has been hurt a lot so sometimes she gets butt hurt(her words not mine) She has 2 younger children which I adore and they adore me. We get to spend every weekend with eachother and we usually just hang out at her place or mine. She likes to get butt hurt about things that are just silly. One morning I was at home and I missed her call and she instantly starts accusing me of being dishonest about what I was doing. I told her I was doing some chores around the house and when she
  15. Good morning all, Have any of you dealt with an insecure or generally mistrustful SO? BF and I have been together 8 months and a couple things have happened that he says made him mistrust me. He had an abusive and rough childhood and his last girlfriend cheated, so he’s admitted he has trouble trusting people. I understand as I have my own insecurities, but am actively working through them. - While looking up something on my phone last month, he somehow pulled up a POF deletion site and thought I was still using dating apps. I deleted all my dating apps when we became boyfriend
  16. My boyfriend (32M) and I (29F) have been together for 3 1/2 years. He is currently in grad school and will graduate in May 2021. I will be the first to admit that I have been insecure about our relationship and the commitment. I have brought up marriage 5-6 times in the past year, because I wanted to know where he stood. I dealt with serious doubt and insecurity over whether or not he wants to be with me. His family is very traditional and doesn’t believe in spending the night or living together until marriage. He still lives at home with his parents, so he follows their rules. So t
  17. Hi Guys, I'm sure there's been a lot of posts on this topic on here and all over the internet (which I have read tons of). I specifically wanted to know why exes come back after a period of NC and breadcrumb/initiate contact and make conversation while still in a relationship with their rebound. My ex recently reached out a week ago and has been talking almost every day - initiating convo EVERY time, sending selfies, videos of herself, having banter (sometimes borderline flirty banter), opening up about some deep stuff, and then sometimes also ghosting a bit. Very hot and cold. Why might t
  18. Hi all, I've been doing online dating recently, for about the past 2 months and while there has been some fun times I've also had some pretty awful times. I know 2 months isn't a long time but I guess I was originally hoping things would go better than they have and it is getting to me a little bit. So I haven't managed to find someone who's right for me yet. It's really strange because I seem to either find guys who really really like me and I don't feel anything for them or I find guys who I end up liking and they kind of end up disappearing. I guess I'm starting to wonder what is wron
  19. So my boyfriend has a very close group of friend he sees almost every week. We all hang out together. One of my boyfriend's friend has a girlfriend. Lets call his friend Jim and his girlfriend Lindy. Jim and Lindy have been dating around the same time my boyfriend and I started dating. They didn't show much PDA before but recently started being lovey dovey. Jim talks a lot about Lindy even when she's right there and always show her a lot of attention and centers around her even around guy friends. My boyfriends friends all started considering her as the queen and seem to approve of her. They a
  20. I want a friend who I can play games with and feel comfortable being around, but I feel like I'll never achieve that because I'm too socially awkward, my skin color is brown, and I can't really keep up a conversation. I don't know how to get rid of these insecurities, but I really want a friend who I can hang out with.
  21. Where to start........ I started seeing my Boyfriend just over a year ago, in the beginning it was nothing serious, but eventually evolved, we spend 5 nights a week together, (he has his Children the other 2), have been away together 3 times, going on holiday next month, Ive met his friends etc etc. We are quite domesticated and "boring" the majority of nights are spent cooking dinner and watching TV in front of the fire, but this suits me. He is very affectionate towards me, and I would classify our relationship as very good, he makes me very happy, however we have never exchanged "i lo
  22. So my SO and I are going through a rough patch atm and long story short, when we first started dating, everything was really intense, saw each other so much to the point i felt myself being so dependent on him with everything. If i went a day without talking to him id feel so lonely and it just wasn't healthy. & he started to feel a little trapped and he felt he was ignoring his friends and his hobbies for me to make me happy and i agree with him, i felt cos i depended on him so much, my whole life was revolved around him. (This is a fairly new relationship, 4 months) and we basically had
  23. Recently I made a post about my boyfriend whom I have been with 8 years. He has recently started 1:1 cycling once per week with a woman 20 years his senior from work. He hardly knew the woman from work prior to the cycling (she works in a different department). After two cycling sessions he cancelled a third due to weather and she sent him a text. About half the people on my previous thread thought this text was forward and suggestive of her being romantically interested in him, despite knowing about me. The other half thought I was reading into it, and probably insecure. I am writing this
  24. I think the answer to my question is to be kind to myself, and give myself time, but here goes: I decided to be single for nearly four years. I started dating again in November 2017. The only genuine connection I felt was with a woman (it was my first bisexual experience). Our short-lived relationship consisted of 6 weeks of HOURS on the phone, followed by nearly 2 weeks of in-person dating with too many hours together (what's that saying, the candle that burns bright burns quickest?) I basically ignored all of the dating advice found in books about taking things slow. This woman
  25. I've been seeing a really great guy in a semi long-distance relationship (1.5hr away) for about 7 months now. He consistently treats me better than anyone I've been with before. He's not my first relationship nor my longest, but he's the first person I've told "I love you" to - and I do love him. But I have two major concerns. 1) When we got together, he was only two weeks out of a 5-year relationship. He insisted that he was over it. Because of her issues (alcoholic cheater), he said he'd fallen out of love and had been ready to start a new chapter for a long time. I accepted that answer a
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