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ShySoul

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ShySoul last won the day on February 11 2006

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About ShySoul

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  • Birthday 02/01/1983

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  1. Contrary to much of what we are told and see through media, sex is not the essential and all encompassing element of relationships. While it is an enjoyable aspect, there are plenty of couples who do just fine with little or even no sex. Every relationship is different, and every individual has a different sex drive. There is nothing to feel ashamed about. It is also no one's business but your own. Unless you are telling them, how are they suppose to know? If they don't know, they can't judge. And even if they do judge, does there opinion really matter? If you and your partner are happy togeth
  2. There's nothing wrong with starting a new account. We all have our own ways of dealing with situations and if you feel it's better to start fresh and that the old account makes you unhappy because of him, then it's fine. Though that temptation to see his account will still be there. What you're doing can help, but it doesn't fix the problem. Unfortunately, there is no way to get over someone quickly. The heart plays by it's own rules. It happens in it's own time and usually a lot longer then we would like. All we can do is wait it out and focus on ourselves in the meanwhile. Realize that
  3. Exactly. I've found the most satisfying results in flipping the script and subverting how I'm "suppose" to feel. Being alone doesn't have to be a terrifying and paralyzing thing. It can actually be freedom. It can mean time to do what you enjoy, to help you understand yourself better and what you want out of life. It can mean peace and quiet from a world that is constantly throwing so much at us. We should embrace periods of solitude and use it to recharge. Be okay on your own and work on fulfilling your goals and pursuing what makes you happy. Once you have that, the fear and loneliness loses
  4. Hiding your feelings is usually a bad way to go. You end up burying it inside you where it eats at you and make you feel steadily worse. As much as you want it to go away, it will still be there and leak out, probably in unhealthy ways. Eventually you can't hold it in anymore and it comes out, which can lead to even worse situations with those around you. Healthiest thing to do is actually confront it. If people are true friends, they will be understanding and supportive. They will want to help you through it. If they don't, it's better to know then pretend they are something there not. And wh
  5. Per the other thread: "I have been with my fiancé for over 1.5 years, however I have known him for 10 years, because I am best friends with his sister so I’ve always been close to his family...He admitted his mistakes And his regret and he has since been trying to make things right and we are trying to rebuild the trust. He has been being honest with me, Doing what he needs to in order for us to rebuild the trust. He deeply regrets what he has done and has said how disgusted he is with himself...he blocked her on everything and changed his number and wants nothing to do with her anymore"
  6. It certainly seems likely you could after going through such traumatic experiences. Please, consult a professional to be sure. There's no harm in checking, You should also feel good about yourself. You are doing all the right things. Keep it up, have faith, and things will get better.
  7. I've been let down by most people in my life. I've been criticized for simply speaking out. At times it has left be severely depressed, wondering why I'm even alive. Two things keep me going. First is a belief in myself. As a shy introvert, I'm actually okay just being me. While it's nice to have someone there, I know that at the end of the day I have to rely on and like myself. I have to stay true to myself and my values. As long as I am happy with the way I am and trying to be a good person, what others think of or do to me isn't important. Second, I try to turn all my hurt and anguish
  8. cookiescream, As frustrating as this situation is, you've handled it the best way you can. Between all the past bad breakups and an overprotective crazy family that threatens to cut him out of their life, he is bound to have hesitation on being with you as more then friends. Everyone else he has been close to basically leaves or tells him they will. That's got to be incredibly rough. Yes, he would ideally stand up to the family and choose to go his own way. But that's not an easy choice and he is in an emotionally vulnerable place. All you can do for now is be his friend. Be the one
  9. If something is hurting you, you need to tell her. Otherwise it will continue to happen and you will keep hurting until you reach a breaking point. Then the problem will be much worse. All relationships are based on honest, sincere communication. Maybe she has unresolved issues. Maybe she has a temper. Maybe she doesn't even realize what she is doing. But if she cares about you like you say, then she will not want to hurt you like that. You can figure out what is causing it and how to prevent if from being an issue. Also, if she does it with you, she probably does it with others. So by address
  10. justinuk, Please keep in mind that even if you don't see her and remove all traces of her from your life, that still doesn't mean things will be better. You will still miss her and think about her. You will wonder what she is doing and who she is with. You might have more dreams. Realize that no contact has it's downside as well and that it's not always the fix that it's made out to be. It actually didn't work for me and made me feel worse about my situation. At best time will bury those feelings as you get involved with other things. But there's no telling how long that time will take. I'm no
  11. You know what to do, it's just a matter of finding the inner strength to do it. My father passed away two years ago, so I'm now extra concerned about my mom. She's had health issues as well. But I also realize she can take care of herself. So while I might make a suggestion here and there, I generally let her run with her life. Just be gentle and kind and let your daughter know that you appreciate her concern, but that you can handle things yourself. If you need her help, you'll ask her. Treat her like an adult and let her know you love her, and she should eventually come to terms with things.
  12. So, can I first say that him living at home at 27 doesn't have to mean he isn't mature or doesn't have his act together? None of us know his circumstances. People can choose to live at home for a variety of reasons: caring for a family member, in the process of saving up for or looking for another place, having lost a job or having financial issues (something plenty of people are dealing with because of COVID). Depending on where you live, having a place by yourself can be expensive and not practical. Notmi, you described this as a sexual and romantic "relationship." Then you say that you
  13. You have known this guy for 10 years. Who he is? Is this behavior typical? Is he the type who will use people to get something? Or was this a really horrible mistake from a person at a really low point who gave into his worse instincts? Is this something he is really sorry for and is actively trying make right? Most of all, is this something that you can forgive? I think in blocking her he is trying to make do better. But his actions were horrible and it's not something you can just move on from. He needs to earn back your trust and that takes time. It's fine to have anger and resentment
  14. Sidebar from the main topic, but I'd pay for a girl's meal even if it wasn't a date and we were only friends with no interest in more. I'm old fashioned and would think of it as being a gentleman. Doesn't necessarily mean anything more. Just a different point of view.
  15. Ok, so there's new information here that wasn't in the first post. Puts a different spin on it. If her crush is asking her sexual questions, he is crossing a line. If it was simply an old crush that she wasn't interested in and he was respecting the boundaries, then I stand by that you trust her and let her be friends with whoever she wants. But if he is actively pursuing more, then you should be concerned. I won't go as far as to say she is cheating or using you. I don't know her, so I won't judge her like that. But her behavior is troubling. Either she likes the attention and keep
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