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MissCanuck

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Everything posted by MissCanuck

  1. That's right. Just leave it be. You will feel better soon but you would be wise to take time off dating until you feel stronger emotionally.
  2. Your ex only came back because Henry turned out to be a dud. She will dump you again as soon as he changes his mind, or as soon as she meets another guy. My point is that your relationship with her has run its course, and it would be foolish to keep talking to her. Even without your parents' disapproval, she is objectively not a good match for you and won't stick around anyway. Set yourself free from this.
  3. You're enabling her and far too involved in keeping her life together. It's time to stop your own bad habits. It isn't your place to guide her decisions here, and she's not stupid. She might be emotionally messy, but I guarantee she isn't "forgetting" what you say. She just doesn't agree and doesn't want to hear it. You need to put a lot of distance there and stop trying to run her life for her. She is an adult and has to make her own choices. Focus instead on getting your own space so you don't live together anymore. This friendship isn't healthy for either of you.
  4. Hannah: Being this insecure is an attraction-killer. So maybe you're right. Maybe he's not that into you anymore because you haven't been able to get a handle on yourself and your intrusive thoughts and the way you project it onto him. You're already manufacturing what you fear most. Don't you see that?
  5. I don't think you're ready to date yet, OP. You're still too fresh off your breakup which is leading you to have overly-emotional reactions to this. It's disappointing, but describing this as frightening and your brain leaving your body? It's a bit much. However, it's also your signal that you aren't yet in a strong enough place to handle the normal ups and downs of dating.
  6. Be careful not to use your sexuality as a means of soothing your own insecurity that he is not attracted to you.
  7. Please understand that he probably won't become your boyfriend. He is right to be open with you if he is not sure he wants to be involved with a woman who has children. Now that you have this information, you can decide for yourself if you're content with something strictly casual, or if you want to move on and look for a man who is more suited to you.
  8. I would step back, OP. Whether it's lack of interest or life stress, he's been pretty clear that he can't offer you something more consistent at this time. It is not going to serve you to wait around for him. Keep moving, and remember that he knows where to find you if he wants to keep in touch.
  9. I would have ended this relationship already. It's not worth putting yourself through his bullying.
  10. This clearly isn't working for you, though. You wouldn't be here otherwise. If you have anxiety and OCD tendencies, it is time to reach out to a professional. Constantly going back over these things in your mind and discussing them with your girlfriend is going to ruin your relationship, as she will start to believe you don't trust her either.
  11. I wondered this, too. OP, was any money exchanged? Not that it makes much difference to the cheating itself, but it seems a bit odd that apparently within minutes of this woman approaching you, you two were already in bed. All you can do is be honest with your girlfriend and let the chips fall where they may. Keep getting tested per your doctor's recommendations, as some infections won't show up in your system right away. You were not using your best judgement, but you were also clear-headed enough to get into bed (and out), and stay upright long enough to get yourself back to your own accommodation. Keep that in mind. Alcohol may have impaired you but you made the choice to cheat all on your own. Something is going on inside you that wanted to sleep with someone else. You need to explore that (with yourself) and figure out what isn't lining up in your story of your romance with your girlfriend.
  12. I think this relationship has finally run its course.
  13. You are definitely not right for each other. When sex has already dried up after just a few months, it's not going to get better. It's up to you how much more time you want to waste here.
  14. What is your definition of "sweetness"? Does it include name-calling and misogyny? You really need to raise your standards. This guy is a bottom-feeder. Please spend some time with yourself figuring out why you allowed this gross man into your life at all.
  15. This was the best move. As the others pointed out, your original draft was far too over-the-top.
  16. You two could be friends but it doesn't sound like it will amount to more than that. You live too far apart now and have conflicting schedules. Even if you two developed a fondness for each other, this doesn't seem like a practical situaton to try to build more.
  17. You need to see a lawyer, immediately. This is over and you would be wise to start making plans to formalize custody and visitation, child support and so on. He is playing you and her for fools, and manipulating the both of you. There is no future here for you, OP. It's way too damaged and he has no respect for you. If this comes out, well, take your lumps. You were interacting inappropriately with him while you knew he was in a relationship, so there is not much more you can do but admit your own role and let the chips fall where they may. He is a total tool, yes, but you knew better than to send sexy pictures to him. There is no way to spin that which makes you look innocent, because you weren't. It's time to chart a new path for yourself. This is a total mess now but you can have a happier future without him as anything but a co-parent to your children.
  18. Yes, this. He doesn't sound like a good friend. Some people are just like this. Distance yourself from him, and stop fretting over why he behaved this way. He can't "steal" your girlfriend unless she is a willing participant, and she evidently is not. What steps have you taken to otherwise address your relationship anxiety? I strongly get the sense it's not just about this one guy, so you need to get at the root of that if you hope to find peace in your relationships.
  19. Honestly, girl? Get rid of this boy and find a man instead.
  20. This is not cheating, no. He was not wrong. It stings, yes, but he was honest with you and didn't make any move to reconcile with you. Therefore, he was free to date others. I'm sorry. It's time you accept that it really is over between you two so you can move forward.
  21. Yeah, right. This is a promise he won't keep. You know this, and he knows this. I would not be able to continue the relationship if I felt this way. This guy is not life partner-material.
  22. First, ask yourself this: what are those boundary desires? What would you like to him to do (or not do) with regards to his female friends?
  23. This is code for "you will do for now", until she meets someone she really wants to date. You are setting yourself to get hurt here, man.
  24. You would be crazy to marry this woman. You need to not only call off the marriage, but also break up with her. Abuse is abuse, no excuses. Probably because you are hiding the truth from them.
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