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Anonymous posted a topic in Dating AdviceHad been talking to a guy for a few months on Instagram and we slowly built up the courage to meet. He had messaged me first quite a few times before I had responded. I then realised it was a few months and I hadn't responded so I messaged him. We spoke for probably a whole month before the meeting. He has offered breakfast/study dates before too. We ended up going out for dinner. Had very good chats, seems like a really lovely guy and nothing sexual. The odd compliment, but in good taste. Some cute messages to each other, like him sending me photos of what he does for work and him telling me that he often thinks about me. He told me he was a bit nervous before picking me up. He picked me up from my house and before he got to mine, he texted me saying would I like him to meet my parents or just pick me up. He paid for dinner and it went really well in terms of chats, felt like a really caring and respectful guy, talked about family and all those nice things. One thing is that he takes great interest in my life and wants to make things easier for me (or so it feels at times), for example wanting to help me out with studying etc. He dropped me home and did not indicate anything about going back to his which was good. He asked if I would like to do this again and I said yes. When we got back to my house to drop me home, my mother was just coming home and he waited and said hello to her. He then said she was lovely. I could tell he wanted to kiss as he sort of just kept looking at me, I said something and then we kissed. He messaged me a few hours later thanking me, kept in on and off-contact for the week, he told me he was tired but good. He asked about my plans for the weekend and I did the same, he is very busy and works in the medical field. He hasn't mentioned anything about catching up again. He asked about a job interview over the weekend and I didn't respond till about 5 days later. In one of our messages, I sort of implied that I wasn’t sure when I would be seeing him next and he sent a sweet message saying he hopes to get to know me better and see where things go. That he was busy but should have more time once exams are finished and that he does want to see me again. I told him I supported him and that I don’t expect him to keep in contact. Then almost 4 days later, I sent a message saying that it appears this is all too difficult and that I’m sure he can find other willing participants but it’s not going to be me. Exam is in 2 weeks and I would have loved to have hung out with you after. I realise I have been hot and cold. In about 2 weeks I’ll have a lot more time but I’m going to ask you to wait” and then asked me if I want to study with him (this was September I believe) we wanted to study this weekend. I said after his exams is fine and he said that’s very gracious of me. I didn’t respond. I left it and gave him the space to Then about 2/3 weeks later; he asked how I am, I didn’t respond and he sent a follow up message. Anyway I don’t have much to complain about and things feel good but we’ve been extremely busy with exams and he told me he has to resit; he initiates a lot and has initiated predominately. He'll message, we'll talk for a bit and then maybe I won't respond if it doesn't require a response and then he'll send a follow up message asking about something. He asked about studying together and some other question. I responded saying after my exams which were end of last week. He didn’t respond till about 2 weeks later asking how my exam study was going. Unsure if he did this because I had done this to him when he had exams. We chatted about a week ago now about something, few laughs but nothing concrete. He hasn’t asked to see me since exams. Growing frustrated because yes I could ask him to catch up but I already indicated after my exams and they finished not this Friday but the Friday before. Find it strange too how he’ll leave the conversation for a week or so but if he messages me and I don’t respond, he would send another message. We laughed about something and that was last on the 10th, I was the last one to respond and haven’t heard anything since. Advice? Do I just give this guy up or? **TL;DR** concerned that I don’t want our momentum to be lost due to that we’ve both had stressful exams. I haven’t seen him since late August despite him offering to study with me a few times. He’s in the medical industry so obviously busy.
I started seeing this guy and it’s been pretty good from the start! We were consistently texting and seeing each other about 2x a week for the last month. During that time, we had established that we both liked for this to continue and we stopped talking to other people. Ive met his friends and he’s even told his mom about me, which I thought was a bit fast but we both felt similar so I went with it. Before he left on vacation, he asked if we were exclusive (mentioned bf/gf but I can’t remember exactly how the convo went) and said he wanted to know if “we were really doing this” before we both left for vacation. I said yes and left the date feeling happy but confused—are we exclusive like bf/gf or are we just dating? My problem is that I come a very complicated background and have major trust issues due to toxic relationships and emotionally unavailable parents. I’m working on these issues but I still get caught up in my feelings and whiles he’s been on vacation I feel like maybe things are starting to drift a part. Our texts have been few and far in between and it feels like I’m bugging him. We FaceTimed a few days ago for maybe 15mins (he’s not a big FT person) and though it was awkward I let him know it was really nice to see him and I appreciated the effort to which he responded that we needed to do more of those in the next few weeks while we’re away. But the texting now seems a little forced—I feel like I’m bugging him and I kinda feel like he’s losing interest in me (maybe bc of texting or just bc now we’re not near each other there’s no appeal? Idk). We’ll go 4-6hrs without a response and my attempts to flirt seem to fall flat and when I back track I’m afraid it comes off as passive aggressive and he gets annoyed. One night a texted me late saying he fell asleep on the couch, but I could tell he saw my Instagram stories I posted that night—I don’t care that he was on SM and not texting but the lie (it feels like a lie) sort of threw me off guard. Since things happened a little fast for us, I’m wondering if maybe now that we’re apart, he’s losing interest and slowly backing off. Some days it feels like I should just send him a text and say “hey it’s cool, we can call this off” and just be done with it but I’m afraid I’m making all these worried up in my head and that he’s fine with everything. I know there’s nothing I can do to make someone stay interest but I also don’t want to ruin a good thing if there’s nothing wrong. Am I being paranoid?