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MissCanuck

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MissCanuck last won the day on July 18

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  1. It sounds like she is going to break up with you, anyway. Manic or not, she is distancing herself from you and preparing a life without you in it. She is unstable, and you aren't in her long-term plans. Yes, it's time to go.
  2. This relationship was not going to last anyway, OP. The end was coming soone or later. It's quite obvious he does not have time for a relationship and is not that interested in making time for it either. You two are also incompatible on almost every level. I don't see how it could have worked out.
  3. Gently, I don't think you had a chance to begin with. I don't mean that there is anything wrong with you, to be very clear. It doesn't mean you're not good enough for him or any such thing. But it's obvious he was treating this a casual FWB-type interaction, not something he wanted to take further. It is clear that there are underlying issues if all of your happiness depends on him. That's not healthy, regardless of the status between you two. Since it's not going to amount to anything more, you need to stop all contact with him and work on whatever is going on inside you that lead you to attach yourself so strongly to this person.
  4. Then maybe you need to reconsider whether you should even bother pursuing something with him. It doesn't sound like you two are a match in terms of your expectations and preferences.
  5. You have no reason to feel humiliated, OP. He does. His reaction was insane and he could have hurt you very badly. So let him sit with what he did, his guilt over whatever he's hiding, and don't respond. He's not a good guy.
  6. Does he never call you? Why is it only you reaching out? Stop fretting about pressuring him. Start asking yourself how feasible it will be for you to date a guy who lets you do all the work, and doesn't seem to reciprocate. You're anxious as hell, Popi. That's often a sign that we're with the wrong person, and trying to ignore our own instinct that something is off.
  7. You're not unreasonable. It's just not realistic to be friends with an ex you still have feelings for. It doesn't matter why he wants to be friends. Your needs are more important. And right now, trying to be friends will only hurt you and prevent you from moving on. This is completely normal after a break-up. It's not a linear process, but contact from him is making it worse. So, that needs to stop. You will get through this, but he needs to be out of your life for a long time.
  8. Well, it could also be her looking for excuses to break up with you and blame you instead of being honest that she no longer felt the same way.
  9. And did this improve after the first break-up? Yes, but it was likely something had weighed on her before Mom made any comments. When you're on your own together, what is your quality time like? Do you have date nights? Cuddle? Show affection in other ways? How did you respond to this? What I'm hearing is that she did not feel special to you. Whether or not that was accurate, only you can say. But it sounds like she felt that you two were more friends than lovers at this point. At just 1.5 years, it's not a good sign, especially with one break-up already behind you.
  10. Where are all her doubts about your feelings coming from? Is she correct that you're kind of distant, or? It's not clear from your post what you said to her when discussing where your head is at with this relationship.
  11. Given that you hardly know the guy, I would be completely creeped out.
  12. This isn't just a "normal" mood swing, OP. She sounds like she's checking out. Going by your last thread, she might be getting tired of the relaitonship, unfortunately. There's not much you can do but leave her be and observe a little bit. She knows you're there and open to talking. If she doesn't take the initiative to do so after a little while, you might have to face the fact that she's just not that into this anymore.
  13. It's tough. I've been where you are, after the break-up of a long-term, live-in relaitonship. I remained the house we shared while he went to stay with friends, and later the woman who I discovered he'd been secretly seeing the last couple months of our relationship. His things were all still in our place, except for some clothes he'd taken with him. He came back occasionally when I wasn't there to pick up more things, but I finally got sick of looking at all his stuff, every day. So I bagged it all up rather indiscriminately and tossed it in the basement. Told him where he could find it. Both our names were on the lease so I couldn't exactly kick him out altogether but not looking at all his belongings all the time was refreshing. Once you're through that part, you will make a big step in your healing. It's not easy but it won't be hanging over your head anymore.
  14. You are keeping yourself stuck every time you respond. It's has nothing to do with maturity. Maturity would be recognizing that this person wiped her feet on you and deserves no place in your life. Maturity would be recognizing that she brings you pain, and continued contact of any kind is not working for you. It's flawed thinking to tell oursleves it's "mature" to respond to an ex. It is not. You're not quite ready to let her go, so you keep answering. This is normal when we are heartbroken. But at some point, we have to be our own best friends instead of our own worst enemies, and realize we are prolonging our own misery by not shutting down contact of all types: social media, random chit chat, whatever. You are not in a place where any of that is working. It doesn't matter if you're not talking about the relaitonship. The very fact that you're talking to her is preventing you from really moving on. Maybe someday, when you have both moved on a long time from now, you could be friendly. Now is not that time.
  15. That's exaclty how I read it, too. I think you are looking for reasons to back out, OP.
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