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catfeeder

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catfeeder last won the day on March 15

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  1. Hi SC, are you close (or have the potential to become close) with anyone in your family?
  2. Henry served you well to expose the GF as disloyal and a bad match for you. So put her aside, and consider that there are far more than 2 schools in the world--so start applying to them. Going away to school would remove you from under your mother's thumb, and that's probably the best possible education your could master.
  3. Yes, people can pick up on disapproval pretty easily, and she likely doesn't want to hear what you want to say. So, that lets you off whatever hook you've imagined yourself to be on. Giving someone negative feedback about their life choices is not an obligation, and it's usually not even welcome--so don't do it. It's not as though there's anything you can say that will prompt her to respond, "Eureka! I never thought of that, and I'm so grateful that you think so little of me..." Skip it, handle your own lease obligations with your landlord, and inform any roommates who will be impacted. Beyond that, I'd keep my nose out of this woman's business and part on the best possible terms. No drama!
  4. This is exactly the thing. The 'why' doesn't matter. People get stuck in denial and bargaining by using unanswered 'whys' as their barrier to walking away. Identifying 'why' is not some magic key that would give them an automatic fix to the problem. it's irrelevant. I like to suggest making this less about the partner and more about your Self. Is this how YOU want to live? If so, then here you are. If not, then the only 'why' that matters is why you're sticking around to put up with this when there isn't an answer in the world to justify being treated this way.
  5. Nobody can answer for this man but himself. He's being straightforward with you, and there's nothing you can do to persuade him into wanting what he may not want. However, the good news is, if he does end up with you, it will be because he's thought it through, and you can credit his decision as being completely voluntary.
  6. Well, maybe he chose you based on visual attraction and the quality of the person? You don't think there was any manual stimulation involved when he watched the porn? If your partner starts to feel like he's offending you whenever he wants to relax around your home instead of being quizzed every time he doesn't pop a boner on cue, you're creating a discomfort and disharmony in your relationship that can work against you. I'd quit doing that. You keep repeating yourself. We get WHY you've asked, but other than trolling to keep this thread going, I don't understand why you're pretending to be too dense to understand the responses.
  7. Yes, and if you move on to start dating others, you won’t waste your time hovering in stagnation. If he ever comes back to ask for a date, you can cross that bridge from a more confident position. There is no need to speculate with others about his intentions when he’s the only one with that answer, and he will show you where he stands, one way or the other, if you’ll just stop contacting him.
  8. I would move on. If the guy is ever interested enough, he’ll have no trouble catching up to you no matter how far forward you have gone.
  9. Sure. I was referring to the guy who sent the sext. Continuing to see him would make me feel rushed, as though the only reason he wants to spend time with me would be to pacify me so we can get to the sex.
  10. The guy is a bully, and I don’t understand why you stay with him. I would have given him the heave-ho a long time ago. Respect yourself by clearing your life of anyone who doesn’t respect you. Your confidence will return, and you will thank yourself.
  11. I don’t think I could take anyone so sexually forward seriously. He’s flat out shown me that his agenda is not about getting to know me. No villains here, our priorities are just not aligned, and I wouldn’t be able to pretend my way past that. I’d view every non-sexual experience with him going forward as him containing a silent scream to get on with the sex already—haven’t I pacified you enough!?
  12. The problem with offering our views to you is that you are not interested in anything that deviates from what you want to hear. You misuse these posts to defend yourself, and then you believe your own defense and remain embedded in it. Good luck with that.
  13. This is common in teens and early twenties, because there are lots of shifts into different stages of life. You’re invested in a business, which is rightly where your focus should be in order for it to thrive. But you’ll need to make the kind of sacrifices that one who’s working for an established company without ownership doesn’t have to make. Meanwhile, she’s all about play time. That’s not your fault, but it won’t serve you to neglect your business and have it go under because you’re too enamored with catering to her. You can’t rush her maturity into responsibility, and she can’t curb yours without destructive consequences. My heart goes out to you, and I hope you will delay instant gratification in order to enjoy long range success.
  14. Two things. First, his comments reducing men to animals and women to prostitutes showed you exactly who he is--the opposite of healthy. I would've walked away at that point, but you went in with your eyes open. Then there's this thing with unhealthy people that deals with separation through rage rather than sorrow. I've seen it in lots of work sites where people are losing their jobs. They may have gotten along well for a decade or more, but the forced separation caused them to act out toward one another so they could part angry instead of sad. Same happens a lot between parents and adult children leaving the nest. The friction allows them to avoid the mixed, bittersweet emotions that they don't know how to handle. They can just get angry and view the other as a villain. It's what unhealthy people DO.
  15. But why would this concern all this time later? What caused the sudden focus on this?
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