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About Me

  1. *I remember why I love(d) you. *I'm working too much. AGAIN. *I'm sick of looking over my shoulder and trudging amongst the squashed masses. Too many problems for this soul to handle. *Oh! So that is why. How much bloody pain on simple lack of understanding can cause! The difference between closeness and distancing. Will I ever change? Or is it enough to be known? *I hate bannock. Shut up about the god damn bannock already people. *I've never felt this way before. Ever. Don't know what it is. Except it is new. [video=youtube;xkte4TY12Zk] ] *Tonight is for looseness an
  2. So I went to the hospital at 2:30 AM. They gave me a 30mg shot of Toradol. That only reduced it a bit. They sent me home. I took 2 Tylenol 1 and got in bed at 5:45. I woke up before 7:30 screaming in pain. My husband took me back to the hospital. This time it was another dr. He said he is sure I have Trigeminal Neuralgia and gave me another shot of Toradol 60mg. He gave me 200 mg of carbamazepine . I have to take 400 mg a day. It is an anti seizure medication that will relax the nerve. And he have me hydromorhone 2 mg for pain. They have me lined up to see a specialist. Sorry I am not maki
  3. I guess the premis is to track the number of days that I do have migraines, symptoms and severity and a search to find things that bring relief. Day one. I woke this morning with one. Once again always left sided. The left side of my head and face are numb. The sinus on my left side is in agony as well as my jaw and nose and under my eye. I am pretty unmotivated as a result even when I have a ton of stuff to do. I guess on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, the pain is about 7 so I can still deal with it. My neck and back muscles are also killing me. Only on my left side mind you.
  4. My girlfriend and I have been having sex for about 5 months now and it seems like we can't have sex the next day after we've already had sex. It's simply too painful for her. If we wait about a week before we have sex then she's usually pain-free on the first round. We usually go at least 2-3 rounds in one night (within 1-4 hours). On the second round she begins to feel sore and depending on the severity of her soreness we can go one more round or not. The next day, if we attempt to have sex, it hurts her from the get-go. We use Astroglide, but it still hurts her. She says it fee
  5. Hi there, i was with woman for a five, or eight years... Do not remember exactly how long, i am a drinker and drug addicted in the past. Now we speak with each other, and i feel like... she's listen to me. She living with her mother, we have some "dates". It hearts. I drink some for the first time after rehab last friday... kinda i am only bring her pain, and we have no sexual relationship, but im try ask her for that. and like abuser... she goes from me second time with her things, half of things for a year was with her mother. that time... i dont even have idea what should i do.
  6. 2019 wasn't the best of my life, alone and at peace today, doing my own stuff for quite some months. This is a 6 months update on how am coping with anxiety, getting things right with my life. A relationship which i felt was going to be best for me & her turned out to be a very bad mistake. It was a never to be a relationship in the end, something i really shouldn't have put myself into without verifying facts and knowing well the person am getting involved with. Boundaries were crossed, i lost respect for myself in the end. While getting through it i started developing lot of se
  7. Hello all. 36 yo guy here. I've been seeing another bi guy for 3 years. The last few weeks he started seeing this girl and i quickly felt him phasing me out. He promised he would not phase me out. We've been going over this for a week. This morning i confessed my deep seated fear that every guy i know will eventually choose a girl over me, but that I was trusting him because he promised me i wasn't being replaced. He invited me over today, and his new girl showed up. He told me to leave so he could spend the night with her. He literally chose someone else right in front of me.
  8. Over my adult years, I have a lot of women in my life from dating and girlfriends. Its not really a good or terrible thing. Which brings me to this post. I need to know what I'm doing wrong. I usually flee from relationships. Usually because i know not all woman act in a certain way. So here in my situation. I'm in a relationship with a woman that I care about a lot. I really do. In most areas, she is wonderful. Clearly not perfect of course. The problem that I'm struggling with is how she acts in regards to the house not being clean. If the bed isn't made, trashcans par
  9. How many times have you been lying in bed knowing you need to go to sleep but you just can't. Images of your lost love dance in your head. The scenes are usually the good times you shared. We all have the alone time that our minds start to wander. We start to think about what I call the "What if" syndrome. I'll explain. When we are by ourselves, physically and emotionally, we tend to dwell on feeling sorry for ourselves. We look back on our ended r elationship and wonder what really went wrong. The biggest mistake anyone can make is NOT to realize what led up to the break up. Th
  10. Happy Friday Everyone! I am a married female who has had a gay male best friend for over 45 years.....yes, we are getting old. My best friend played the organ at my wedding in 1979. My husband, myself and friend...I will call him Brady, all grew up together. My husband is not jealous so that was never an issue. So Brady and I usually talk everyday on FaceTime. We visit then say the Rosary together as we are Catholics. This year has been mega stressful for me. I had to go to court and take my granddaughter away from my oldest daughter due to abuse and neglect. My Mother went into extr
  11. I’m in a newish relationship with a guy I’ve known a long time. Everything has been great. We have such a great time together and have genuinely clicked. I can tell that I genuinely make him happy and have been told by his friends and family that they’ve never seen him so happy. He’s not nor has he ever been the most affectionate person but he never hesitated to let me know I was special. At the beginning of September he was in a bad accident and had to undergo extensive surgery and was immobile and in a lot of pain. I stayed with him in the hospital as much as possible and he reached out to
  12. I'm writing this after 9 months of what I consider the most painful break-up I've had. As much as I have tried very much to focus on myself, my interests, and my career, I can't seem to shake this intense feeling of grief for the past 4 months almost. I've experienced loss in my life, but nothing compares to the pain I've felt after this breakup, because he's still somewhere, out there and I have to live with the fact that he chose to act the way he did for the entirety of our relationship. What hurts most is the fact that I discarded myself and disrespected my own boundaries by accepting
  13. My thread was close in the dating forum so at the request of some im starting this journal. This could be a quick and short journal post.. it feels like now, she does not contact me whatsoever unless we hang out. Is that someone needing space? I dont know.. maybe. (12:42 am after i hadnt heard from her, she had the day off) Me: whats up? Her: Not much.. Me: You okay? You gotta get up early? Her: 11ish.. not super early i guess Me: But youre okay? Seem a little distant lately? Her: Yea Im fine... just kinda late and im sleepy. Me: Okay just wanted to make sure. J Me: Just don
  14. I've been living with a guy for 5 years . He is much younger than me but we were happy but now he says he wants to be friends and go out with someone else. Obviously I'm heartbroken as I've been relegated to friend.the trouble is he cant afford to move out so I have to watch him go off under my nose. It's so painful I cant function. He has aspergers so doesn't understand why I am struggling. For him straightforward he wants this and why cant I deal with the rejection. Anyone got any advice I am collapsing under the pain
  15. Hi All, Long-time user, first time poster under 'Divorce Advice'. Today, I hired an attorney to serve divorce papers for my 5-year marriage. I'm 30 and she's 29. I've given all of the necessary information and asked them to move forward with filing the divorce. I think she will be served by early next week. Needless to say, I don't want to do this, but I don't feel like I have a choice at this point. We don't have any kids, don't own a home, etc., so it should be a fairly smooth process. More on this below. Long-story short, my wife and I haven't been getting along for the last 6 months.
  16. Hey guys, as many of you know, I lost both my parents in 2014. My dad fell, and died from a blood clot in his brain and my mom from lung cancer, or so I thought. A few days ago, my brother told me that my mom's death was not actually due to cancer. Oh she was terminal, in the hospital and it was only a matter of tme, but what happenrd was she told the doctors to disconnect her feeding tube (which was her choice) and she died of starvation. She had told my brother she was in so much pain, did not want to live like that, in so much pain knowing it will only result in death anyway, s
  17. During badminton practice (for high school), we were practicing girls doubles, when both my partner and I went for the birdie at the same time. My partner was a strong player, and when she swung, the racket hit me right in the mouth, causing my lips to start bleeding (both upper and bottom) and immediately sending me into tears of pain. She didn't apologize, and acted as if nothing had happened. I think she might have genuinely not known that she had hit me, but it still hurts a lot and still causes me some trouble when eating (my parents applied medication, but the effect is slow). I kind of
  18. My ex (of a year) broke up with me 6 days ago because he isn t ready for a relationship and is moving away next year because he is deployed elsewhere (he is in the military). He said he still loves me but realized it isn t as strong as it used to be the past few weeks and knows he might regret this decision because I am perfect to him but decided it was best for us to part because he thinks I deserve better than him. I said ok because I don t want to be with a person who is unsure of this relationship. We both cried but moved on with the breakup. But then he sent me multiple snaps of him in cl
  19. I apologize in advance about my ramblings. I broke up with my bf because I feel like friends who love each other. I should mention he is my first bf and first love. I care for him greatly. But I wasn't attracted to him anymore in a romantic way, no spark as they say. I tried so very hard to make it work. To say it's all in my head, you're being crazy for about a year now. But that only sent me into a downward spiral of depression. I knew the truth but denied it. I guess I hoped I was crazy and things would change/get better. but they didnt, I knew it would be hard and hurt but it had to be don
  20. I'm needing some advice. I'm 50yrs old, and I have chronic back and neck pain. I have a reverse curve in my neck that is almost straight. This results in a lot of neck pain, stiffness, and headaches. I also have a sacrum joint injury. It pushes to the right. I have one hip that is higher than the other .Standing for long periods of time causes my back to lock up. I also have ribs that dont stay in place. I go to a chiropractor once a week for treatments. I have not worked in several years because of this. I have always worked in retail. My chiropractor resently said to try and apply for disa
  21. I've had to see my boyfriend in secret for 3 and half months because of work (there is a thread on here) but now we are public. He has told me about his medical issues with his arms, He has had attacks of pain (he spasms and wants to scream in pain) at work and I know what to do in an emergency (I've had to help on a date we had) He has a GP doctors appointment, followed by a Hospital consultation and a brain scan coming up. I want to ask him to come, sit in the waiting room so he isn't alone when he gets there and comes out, if he wants to talk he can talk if not we can just head bac
  22. Hello guys, so recently I been doing really good. I don’t cry anymore and I actually been feeling better about everything. I’m going to start school really soon, which is exciting. So yesterday my brother got married and I invited my friends to come and celebrate with us at a bar and they were excited about it. So, when we got there they called me and told me they didn’t like the music so they went to another bar and just told me to have fun. I felt a little upset but do I really have a reason to be. I don’t know why I put myself into this funk and just think everybody is just going to walk ou
  23. She told me about it, and it first she told me not to worry, and that she will take the pain. So I had sex with her at first and she told me to keep going, even though it hurt. But last time, she ended up crying after, and described the pain as if it were me to imagine a screwdriver, being jammed through my urethra. I haven't been able to bring myself to have sex with her since, as that description she gave me, of her pain, has now caused me to have a phobia, and I have been having trouble getting aroused by her since. Does anyone know how I should handle this, as I have found a lack of
  24. Hi All, I'll give you a bit of a background first. I met my girlfriend almost 4 years ago and she is the nicest and most genuine person I have ever known, she is the perfect partner and I can see a long life with her. Previous to meeting her I was single for a good 4 years. We both have young children from previous that get on amazing well. She moved her life to be nearer me and fully committed herself to our relationship. Rewind 3 years from now and I did the worst thinkable thing to our relationship, I was unfaithful twice within the first year of dating, owning up to kissing at the time
  25. Disjointed thoughts, rambles and some cliches in the middle: Many years ago I was in an extremely abusive relationship. It was a few years during my most formative years that took decades out of me. This person degraded me on many levels and I went through hell. My closest friends and family know parts of the story, but what I think no one really knows was that I forgave what this person did to me (on an emotional level, not on a "lets get back together/lets talk" level I blocked and deleted this person from my life ever since and don't want to ever interact with them as I know he's toxic n
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