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About Me

  1. I guess the premis is to track the number of days that I do have migraines, symptoms and severity and a search to find things that bring relief. Day one. I woke this morning with one. Once again always left sided. The left side of my head and face are numb. The sinus on my left side is in agony as well as my jaw and nose and under my eye. I am pretty unmotivated as a result even when I have a ton of stuff to do. I guess on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, the pain is about 7 so I can still deal with it. My neck and back muscles are also killing me. Only on my left side mind you.
  2. My girlfriend and I have been having sex for about 5 months now and it seems like we can't have sex the next day after we've already had sex. It's simply too painful for her. If we wait about a week before we have sex then she's usually pain-free on the first round. We usually go at least 2-3 rounds in one night (within 1-4 hours). On the second round she begins to feel sore and depending on the severity of her soreness we can go one more round or not. The next day, if we attempt to have sex, it hurts her from the get-go. We use Astroglide, but it still hurts her. She says it fee
  3. Hi there, i was with woman for a five, or eight years... Do not remember exactly how long, i am a drinker and drug addicted in the past. Now we speak with each other, and i feel like... she's listen to me. She living with her mother, we have some "dates". It hearts. I drink some for the first time after rehab last friday... kinda i am only bring her pain, and we have no sexual relationship, but im try ask her for that. and like abuser... she goes from me second time with her things, half of things for a year was with her mother. that time... i dont even have idea what should i do.
  4. 2019 wasn't the best of my life, alone and at peace today, doing my own stuff for quite some months. This is a 6 months update on how am coping with anxiety, getting things right with my life. A relationship which i felt was going to be best for me & her turned out to be a very bad mistake. It was a never to be a relationship in the end, something i really shouldn't have put myself into without verifying facts and knowing well the person am getting involved with. Boundaries were crossed, i lost respect for myself in the end. While getting through it i started developing lot of se
  5. *I remember why I love(d) you. *I'm working too much. AGAIN. *I'm sick of looking over my shoulder and trudging amongst the squashed masses. Too many problems for this soul to handle. *Oh! So that is why. How much bloody pain on simple lack of understanding can cause! The difference between closeness and distancing. Will I ever change? Or is it enough to be known? *I hate bannock. Shut up about the god damn bannock already people. *I've never felt this way before. Ever. Don't know what it is. Except it is new. [video=youtube;xkte4TY12Zk] ] *Tonight is for looseness an
  6. So I went to the hospital at 2:30 AM. They gave me a 30mg shot of Toradol. That only reduced it a bit. They sent me home. I took 2 Tylenol 1 and got in bed at 5:45. I woke up before 7:30 screaming in pain. My husband took me back to the hospital. This time it was another dr. He said he is sure I have Trigeminal Neuralgia and gave me another shot of Toradol 60mg. He gave me 200 mg of carbamazepine . I have to take 400 mg a day. It is an anti seizure medication that will relax the nerve. And he have me hydromorhone 2 mg for pain. They have me lined up to see a specialist. Sorry I am not maki
  7. Hello all. 36 yo guy here. I've been seeing another bi guy for 3 years. The last few weeks he started seeing this girl and i quickly felt him phasing me out. He promised he would not phase me out. We've been going over this for a week. This morning i confessed my deep seated fear that every guy i know will eventually choose a girl over me, but that I was trusting him because he promised me i wasn't being replaced. He invited me over today, and his new girl showed up. He told me to leave so he could spend the night with her. He literally chose someone else right in front of me.
  8. Over my adult years, I have a lot of women in my life from dating and girlfriends. Its not really a good or terrible thing. Which brings me to this post. I need to know what I'm doing wrong. I usually flee from relationships. Usually because i know not all woman act in a certain way. So here in my situation. I'm in a relationship with a woman that I care about a lot. I really do. In most areas, she is wonderful. Clearly not perfect of course. The problem that I'm struggling with is how she acts in regards to the house not being clean. If the bed isn't made, trashcans par
  9. How many times have you been lying in bed knowing you need to go to sleep but you just can't. Images of your lost love dance in your head. The scenes are usually the good times you shared. We all have the alone time that our minds start to wander. We start to think about what I call the "What if" syndrome. I'll explain. When we are by ourselves, physically and emotionally, we tend to dwell on feeling sorry for ourselves. We look back on our ended r elationship and wonder what really went wrong. The biggest mistake anyone can make is NOT to realize what led up to the break up. Th
  10. Happy Friday Everyone! I am a married female who has had a gay male best friend for over 45 years.....yes, we are getting old. My best friend played the organ at my wedding in 1979. My husband, myself and friend...I will call him Brady, all grew up together. My husband is not jealous so that was never an issue. So Brady and I usually talk everyday on FaceTime. We visit then say the Rosary together as we are Catholics. This year has been mega stressful for me. I had to go to court and take my granddaughter away from my oldest daughter due to abuse and neglect. My Mother went into extr
  11. I’m in a newish relationship with a guy I’ve known a long time. Everything has been great. We have such a great time together and have genuinely clicked. I can tell that I genuinely make him happy and have been told by his friends and family that they’ve never seen him so happy. He’s not nor has he ever been the most affectionate person but he never hesitated to let me know I was special. At the beginning of September he was in a bad accident and had to undergo extensive surgery and was immobile and in a lot of pain. I stayed with him in the hospital as much as possible and he reached out to
  12. I'm writing this after 9 months of what I consider the most painful break-up I've had. As much as I have tried very much to focus on myself, my interests, and my career, I can't seem to shake this intense feeling of grief for the past 4 months almost. I've experienced loss in my life, but nothing compares to the pain I've felt after this breakup, because he's still somewhere, out there and I have to live with the fact that he chose to act the way he did for the entirety of our relationship. What hurts most is the fact that I discarded myself and disrespected my own boundaries by accepting
  13. My thread was close in the dating forum so at the request of some im starting this journal. This could be a quick and short journal post.. it feels like now, she does not contact me whatsoever unless we hang out. Is that someone needing space? I dont know.. maybe. (12:42 am after i hadnt heard from her, she had the day off) Me: whats up? Her: Not much.. Me: You okay? You gotta get up early? Her: 11ish.. not super early i guess Me: But youre okay? Seem a little distant lately? Her: Yea Im fine... just kinda late and im sleepy. Me: Okay just wanted to make sure. J Me: Just don
  14. Lately I have been constantly daydreaming about situations where I would struggle and have to be strong. Things like my parents dying and me having to deal with the grief, or being hit by a car and recovering. In these daydreams I’m not afraid. Instead I feel almost like I desire the suffering. And it’s not that I desire pain itself - I don’t want to be hurt - but I want to be in a situation where I can be brave and strong and be a fighter. Generally I struggle with depression which usually causes apathy and lack of interest in life, so I thought maybe this was me imagining dramatic and li
  15. Quarantine has me unearthing a lot of pain that I psychologically suppressed. One of those pains is my sexual experience I with an ex partner. *If I consent to sex and my partner decides to do unconsented sexual aggression like squeezing and pinching, almost like BDSM pain torture stuff, is this sexual assault? (I was in what I thought was a loving relationship and him being aggressive or wanting to hurt me was shocking) is this sexual abuse? *If I consented but show a non verbal revoke of consent like pulling away to the point where he was chasing me across the bed to get acces
  16. Last week my husband went to an energy healer because he's been suffering for many years. I told the healer that the solution will lie with both of us and he gave us one piece of information that opened floodgates that I can't close. He offered to read our fortunes based on the moment and location of birth. He came back to me with "I see you don't feel safe in this world." He also said that he couldn't read my fortune that he needed to consult with someone more experienced. I figured that out, since I never go anywhere and can't make friends. But now, I feel like my whole life is a mist
  17. Many years ago, I injured my back. Actually, I fractured it. And have been living with pain ever since. I finally got approval from insurance for surgery. But surgery for this is not easy. Doctor says it takes about 5 to 6 hours. They start with an incision in the front, and end with another incision in back to install rods & screws. This is something I'd been wanting for years - to finally live without pain! But the closer the surgery gets, the more I am freakimg out. Here's why: I don't have much family or friends, but I need to have someone who will not only take me to the hos
  18. NTG

    Born by mistake

    Up to this day I still can't find my purpose to this life. Sometimes living feels like a punishment because pain is what I feel daily. As it is, I have socializing difficulties and always wanting to be alone. Truth is, I feel letting people in would result in being hurt and also me hurting them. Hence I feel like my existence brings massive pain than happiness. I always find myself trying to please the other party and putting myself last. Whenever I disappoint, I tend to punish myself. Whenever I feel mad, hurt and hopeless I cut myself numb the emotional pain. The only way to put an end to th
  19. 19 / Female / 154cm / 48kg Medications: venlafaxine 75mg and nexplanon Haven't smoked since sickness started last Wednesday, planning to stop I was bedridden for 5 days in high fever and unable to eat anything solid, now I haven't had fever for two days but I'm overall very weak and dizzy. I tried to eat mashed potatoes (not seasoned at all) yesterday but I spent the whole day crying in pain after that because my stomach is so stubborn. What would you recommend for getting back to normal eating habits slowly but surely?
  20. Hey all. I thought i would write a post about how no contact has helped me, and the steps I'm taking to heal from what I thought at the time was a forever relationship. I hope it helps someone, if you have any advise, I would love to hear it. Thank you all. The start of no contact is always the hardest. Fully letting go of someone who has been a massive part of your life is hard. I was the dumpee, and didn't see it coming. I fought for her but it was over. I respected her decision and left her be. No contact gave me the opportunity to see things in many different ways. At first I saw
  21. I've been living with a guy for 5 years . He is much younger than me but we were happy but now he says he wants to be friends and go out with someone else. Obviously I'm heartbroken as I've been relegated to friend.the trouble is he cant afford to move out so I have to watch him go off under my nose. It's so painful I cant function. He has aspergers so doesn't understand why I am struggling. For him straightforward he wants this and why cant I deal with the rejection. Anyone got any advice I am collapsing under the pain
  22. Hi All, Long-time user, first time poster under 'Divorce Advice'. Today, I hired an attorney to serve divorce papers for my 5-year marriage. I'm 30 and she's 29. I've given all of the necessary information and asked them to move forward with filing the divorce. I think she will be served by early next week. Needless to say, I don't want to do this, but I don't feel like I have a choice at this point. We don't have any kids, don't own a home, etc., so it should be a fairly smooth process. More on this below. Long-story short, my wife and I haven't been getting along for the last 6 months.
  23. Hey guys, as many of you know, I lost both my parents in 2014. My dad fell, and died from a blood clot in his brain and my mom from lung cancer, or so I thought. A few days ago, my brother told me that my mom's death was not actually due to cancer. Oh she was terminal, in the hospital and it was only a matter of tme, but what happenrd was she told the doctors to disconnect her feeding tube (which was her choice) and she died of starvation. She had told my brother she was in so much pain, did not want to live like that, in so much pain knowing it will only result in death anyway, s
  24. During badminton practice (for high school), we were practicing girls doubles, when both my partner and I went for the birdie at the same time. My partner was a strong player, and when she swung, the racket hit me right in the mouth, causing my lips to start bleeding (both upper and bottom) and immediately sending me into tears of pain. She didn't apologize, and acted as if nothing had happened. I think she might have genuinely not known that she had hit me, but it still hurts a lot and still causes me some trouble when eating (my parents applied medication, but the effect is slow). I kind of
  25. My ex (of a year) broke up with me 6 days ago because he isn t ready for a relationship and is moving away next year because he is deployed elsewhere (he is in the military). He said he still loves me but realized it isn t as strong as it used to be the past few weeks and knows he might regret this decision because I am perfect to him but decided it was best for us to part because he thinks I deserve better than him. I said ok because I don t want to be with a person who is unsure of this relationship. We both cried but moved on with the breakup. But then he sent me multiple snaps of him in cl
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