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About Me

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  1. Title of this thread is the same as my blog... except the after dark part. I added After Dark because I most likely will write about things here that I don't write about in my Blog. Here I am anonymous... there I'm not. So, now it's time to work my nerves a bit... To M... Posting on facebook that you started your rag... Really? While your at it why don't you just post pics of some used tampons for all our enjoyment. To B... The things you do that used to annoy me so much are starting to annoy me less and less. But, it's not that I've had a change of heart and see the error of my ways or anything... It's just that I CARE less and less. Also to B... While you are sitting on your ass talking/typing about all the things you want to do, I am actually out doing the things I want to do. But you continue to criticize me. To AZ, Would you be my friend at all if I didn't make good money? I love hanging out with you, but anymore every time I see you you expect me to spend it on you. To A... this isn't working my nerves. But I still want to say it. Thank you for making me feel the way you have these last couple days.
  2. *I remember why I love(d) you. *I'm working too much. AGAIN. *I'm sick of looking over my shoulder and trudging amongst the squashed masses. Too many problems for this soul to handle. *Oh! So that is why. How much bloody pain on simple lack of understanding can cause! The difference between closeness and distancing. Will I ever change? Or is it enough to be known? *I hate bannock. Shut up about the god damn bannock already people. *I've never felt this way before. Ever. Don't know what it is. Except it is new. [video=youtube;xkte4TY12Zk] ] *Tonight is for looseness and floating. Tomorrow, activity and comprehending what it means.
  3. Well ,it looks like my hand may be pushed faster then I think . I heard a rumour ,yes ,you have to love the rumour mill that our new building is going to be condemned . I had to talk to my boss today and yesterday she told me we plan to re-start in 2 weeks and today she tells me we don’t know what we’re doing yet . So obviously the rumour mill is true . Thank Jesus I applied for unemployment ! A friend added me to all the Facebook child care sites and buy and sells. Unfortunately, my boss is on all the childcare sites . She’s going to know my plan eventually .
  4. I’ve not been very good at journaling this year! I’ve been dating someone for almost a year - we met last December. I do wonder if we’ll make it into the new year due to a few issues. He’s a single dad, first one I’ve ever dated, and I’ve spent a bit of time with his son but he has behavioural issues at home so not sure how I would handle this if I become step-mum. There’s also the topic of if I want my own child - I’m still not made up and honestly I don’t think he wants another one. He (my boyfriend) is currently living with his dad saving money and helping out (dad is registered disabled but mobile for short periods). The dad is also going deaf and I don’t click with his sense of humour so I find any time visiting really testing trying to hold a normal conversation with him. I also have been living with my parents while I look for a full time job and now appreciate how much space they give me and boyf when he visits! I have one close friend in this town who I have known since school - and she’s been driving me nuts lately. I think we’ve grown apart and don’t relate on the same level anymore. I even hate texting her to organise anything - all I get are “ok” as responses and that on it’s own does my head in! And on the subject of work - I had two part time jobs in this town but one has now finished due to being a fixed term contract on a small team. The idea was to use that as a CV filler to move onto something else but I’ve been lazy of late applying to jobs. On the plus side I have noticed more ‘interesting’ roles being advertised which gets my hopes up. In the meantime I have a part time job in retail. Half of my department is off sick so there’s a lot of overtime going but it’s been frustrating with a rubbish new manager who isn’t on top of anything. I’m supposed to get a weeks notice of shifts with 24 hrs notice being the exception but lately every week my shifts have only been confirmed the day before or I get a message begging me to work the next day. This doesn’t seem like a very positive opening post, want it all off my chest before the year end haha!
  5. Hello everyone, I apologize if I start to rant but this situation has been giving me a lot of stress. To give some context I’m in a relationship with my middle school sweetheart. We’ve been dating for 6+ years, and have had our share of big ups and way downs but we always pull through healthier and better than before. This past year I’ve recently earned my dream job as a chef. It’s long stressful hours that begin early in the day and end past midnight. With only one day off it’s taken a great toll on our relationship. My gf states that I do not spend enough time with her, nor do I make any effort to do so, and that I don’t care about our relationship anymore. I can understand why she feels that way but it just isn’t true. I’m more than in love with her and I can’t imagine a life without my best friend. I tried putting in effort where it’s possible. I make my way over to hers after my shift ends and then go to work from hers. I tried taking off work to spend time with her. I call and text her constantly even during my work hours but still she acts angry towards me. Now she wants to break things off completely and tells me that I don’t care. I just want her to recognize that I’m working hard and trying to achieve my goals for us and for our future. What can I do in this situation? She isn’t willing to listen to me or allow me to fix things.
  6. Taking a page from the Healing after breakup and divorce forum, where we can post to our exes to keep us from contacting them. That is where I first posted this. I should have posted it here. I just read a list 20 Tips to do when you are grieving, and one is to write a letter to the deceased. Well, that is when it finally struck me that I am avoiding the grief of a loss. I need to face that loss directly. I need to talk to my long deceased ex. Maybe this thread can help you too. I encourage you to post here as a place to speak freely about our deceased friends, lovers, and family members. This is a safe place to say things that maybe we don't want to say to others so as not to hurt them, or to appear mean, or to reveal information that we have been keeping private. Here, we can yell at the deceased if we need to, or we can admit that we didn't treat them well, or we can yearn for them yet again. There will be no one to shush us with an Its okay or Its time to move on. This is a safe place to say what we want to say, without reproach. __________ The 20 Tips are pasted below, for an added reference. ___________ Talk about your loss with friends, family or a professional. Grief is a process, not an event. Grief is work, requiring time and energy. The memories, meanings and fulfilled needs provided by the lost loved one take time to work through. Let yourself enter the emotions of grief. Grievers tend naturally to avoid the painful emotions. Losing someone close to you means you deserve to allow yourself to feel all your emotions - sadness, anger, intense longing, guilt and others. Consider writing your loved one a letter. Say what you would tell them as if it were your last chance. Even if you never share the letter with anyone, writing it may help you work through your grief. Resume your life but leave time and space for grieving. Life marches on for the living. But try to resist the temptation to “throw yourself” into work or other diversions. This leaves too little time for the grief work you need to do for yourself. Take care of yourself. You have been wounded. Something very valuable and dear has been taken away from you. Give yourself time and space to begin healing. Get enough rest. Eat nourishing food. Give yourself a break. Resist the temptation to use alcohol or drugs to numb your pain. These can interfere with the grieving process by delaying it or covering it up. If you have any religious inclination, consider contacting your place of worship. All religions recognize that grievers need special help. Consider taking advantage of these services even if you have not been attending regularly. You will not be turned away. Consider seeking out other grievers. Someone who has also been through grief can empathize with you, and vice versa. Organizations like Compassionate Friends or THEOS recognize the value of sharing in a group setting. Don’t feel obligated to join groups if they are not for you. The grief process is highly individual. Some people prefer solitude or reflection rather than group work. Do what feels right for you. Don’t neglect your own health. Grieving puts a heavy burden of stress on your body. It can disturb sleep patterns, lead to depression, weaken your immune system, and worsen medical problems that had been stable, such as high blood pressure. Take prescribed medications and get regular check-ups. If you suffer from disabling insomnia or anxiety, see your doctor. Sometimes short-term medication can be very helpful. Get help for severe or persistent depression. Someone once said: “grief is not a disease but it can become one.” Grief can lead to serious depression. Consider getting professional help if you feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or helpless. Other signs of depression can include sleep impairment (too little or too much), appetite or weight change, low energy, difficulty concentrating, and feeling listless or agitated. By all means, seek professional help if you have suicidal thoughts. Grief work can become complicated. Mixed emotions (positive and negative feelings), unresolved emotional turmoil and losing someone after an argument can complicate the grieving process. Sharing these feelings with a professional therapist can help. Grief therapy need not be a long-term commitment. Even if you don't see yourself as the kind of person who seeks therapy, this may be beneficial. Anger is common in normal grieving and certainly justified when a loved one dies due to the malevolence of others. Try venting your anger in a letter. Consider channeling your anger into constructive action. Volunteer to work for causes that seek justice and prevention. Spending your energy helping someone else can help you in the process. Allow time to grieve. One to two years is not a long time to allow yourself to work through grief. We need to remind ourselves that the healing process cannot be rushed; it will proceed at its own rate. Be patient. The grieving process often includes setbacks. Don’t expect to set an “I’ll be over it” deadline and succeed. Often, grieving resumes after a time, sometimes even months or years. Reminders can trigger a flood of emotions. Don’t be surprised if this happens, and don't consider it a sign of weakness. Instead, your psyche is telling you more grief work needs to be done. At some point those who have lost a partner or love companion will face the decision of whether to be open to a new relationship. Consider imagining the situation reversed. That is, if you died and your lover or spouse survived, what would you want them to do? It may help you to see your situation from this angle. If you feel stuck in your grief, try a new approach. We are creatures of habit who learn very quickly how to avoid painful situations. However, this may hinder working through the entirety of your grief. To “jump start” the process, consider reviewing memorabilia, photos, home movies, or videos. Talk about your loved one at holidays when his or her absence is most obvious. Don’t avoid it so as not to spoil the festivities. This is the perfect time to check in with other family members about how they're doing with grief work, and share mutual support. Create your own memorial service. Celebrate their lifetime accomplishments, values, and principles. Consider carrying the torch of a cause they believed in as a memorial. Start a scholarship, plant a garden, or make a donation in their name. The grieving process has run its course when you feel weary of rehashing events and memories and finally accept the fact the your loved one can remain with you only in spirit. For some, the process never really ends; it just gets easier over time. You will know you are ready to move forward when you feel you can reinvest the energy once invested in your loved one in a new place. This takes time. Good grief means being good to yourself during the process.
  7. I want to chronicle my journey, post-breakup so that hopefully ENAers current and in the future can use my story as a point of reference. I'll do my best to post here each day with how I'm feeling, doing, interactions, etc. My story? Senior in college. Mutually broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years six weeks ago. Neither of us were happy in the relationship anymore. We basically spent most of our free time together and over-time, that led to a toxic dynamic. We neglected our friends to be together. We just agreed that we loved and cared about each other and didn't want to totally ruin our dynamic by continuing at our current pace. We wanted time to work on ourselves and find happiness alone again before ever having a healty relationship again. Don't get me wrong. Our relationship was based off of a lot of love. She has still told me that she knows that she's going to marry me one day and that no one will ever treat her better than I did. Do I believe her? Well, I did and still somewhat do. No such thing as false hope because hope doesn't mean success. We've been through everything together from swine flu, to pregnancy scares, deaths in the family, mental breakdowns, hospital visits, going grocery shopping on a Friday night. We've pretty much experienced much more than you should in a 2.5 year time frame. The last six weeks? Hellish. I've asked for her back on four different occasions to only be rejected each time (Three of them were alcohol-enduced). After a few days passed by, I felt like we could handle the problems while in the relationship. Well, she didn't agree. She kept saying that she needed 'space'. So I've been in and out of NC. My longest period was for three weeks and I felt so much better. However, after I saw her at a bar and I was really drunk, I started to text her and ask for her back. This didn't go over well and I called and apologized to her today. Basically, my fear of loss has compelled me to do a lot of stupid things. I've out of character on more than one occasion. I can't cook, either. So that has sucked, a lottttt. Is there a rebound? Nope. She's not interested in dating anyone else. She has spent a ton of time with her friends, who are all single. Most were very envious of our relationship because it was so damn comfortable. Definitely could be a phase. Has she contacted me? Yep. The most recent time was last Wednesday. She texts me late at night. Like 12:30 am. And mind you, she is not a drinker. So these aren't drunk texts. These are 'I put my head on the pillow and think about you' texts. She's just a better actor than I am when disguising her feelings. I know she still cares about me. One of her last texts to me? 'I'm starting to feel like a normal person again'. Just goes to show that they hurt just as much as we do, post-breakup. Misc I removed her on Facebook awhile back. I don't take my cell phone when I go out to avoid drunk texting (bit me twice in the past). Her family absolutely loves me. Her brother still talks to me and often asks for my advice. Her mom came to visit two weeks ago and wanted to come over to see me. However, I was at work. She has 'checked in' on me a few times. I didn't really give her much information, but I didn't exactly blow her off. I feel like that is not productive if you want someone back who doesn't have a current boyfriend/fling. What Have I Done? Re-connect with old friends. Met lots of new friends. Go out, a lot. Meet new girls. Exercise like crazy. I've dropped 15 pounds over this six week period. I've really worked hard at my job and with my college work. Tried to do everything in my power to not think about her. Final Thoughts I miss this girl like crazy, but I'm slowly letting go. That's the only way you can get yourself back. I'd like to have her back someday, but not until I'm 100% happy again and she gets this whole phase out of her system. Hopefully this gave you an intro to my situation and feel free to chime in whenever. Just remember, when you love someone, you never give up. That doesn't mean you'll get them back, but if you truly love someone, you'll want them to always be happy. Your happiness, however, is always the top priority. Don't forget the push-pull dynamic. The more you push, the worse things will become. You can never 'pull' too much. The best gift you can give an ex? The gift of missing you. Go away. If you envision positive things, they'll happen for you.
  8. I have been in a relationship with the most wonderful man for the past 6 months. When I met him he had been separated from his ex for about 18 months. Neither of us were expecting it but when we met we just clicked from the start and decided to go with it. We’ve always been very open with each other. I was aware that it wasn’t long since his ex left him and always wanted to be sure that he was ready for something new so we have always talked about it. He asked me to be his girlfriend after a couple of months and our relationship has been incredible. We have met each other’s families, spent weekends away together and our relationship has been progressing well. He treats me really well, my friends think he is great and we are very well suited. He is also an incredibly loyal, genuine and nice person (in massive contrast to what I’ve been used to before!!). However, it seems he’s been having a bit of a wobble recently. He’s about to start a brand new job/career and he says that meeting me has urged him to sort his life out in that respect. He says that his life is a bit of a mess at the moment. I’ve also noticed that he’s been holding back a bit more whereas before he has always worn his heart on his sleeve. We had a long talk about it a couple of nights ago and he explained that although he is over his ex, he’s not yet fully over the hurt that the break up caused (she left him). And whilst he cares about me very deeply and even loves me, he has also been reflecting on why he has been more distant recently. He says that when he met me he had spent a lot of time healing and was just ready to start really enjoying being single but then I came along and he wasn’t expecting it or looking for it. Our relationship is very different to the one he had with his ex as he says he basically lived a single life alongside her. Whilst we are both very independent people, we enjoy spending time together which, in hindsight, maybe means the relationship has progressed quite quickly. He confided in a friend recently about how he was feeling, who asked him if maybe it was too soon and I think he’s been reflecting on this. It came as a bit of a shock to be honest as he’s always been so open with me I was surprised to realise that he had been feeling like this. I’ve asked him whether he wants to carry on and he says he absolutely does. That he is fully committed to this and wants us to continue enjoying getting to know each other and building on what we have. He says he doesn’t want to wreck the possibility of being with somebody who could be ‘the one’ just because he’s at a weird time in his life, and that he just wanted to be completely open with me. But at the same time he’s been worried that recently I’ve overtaken him with where we are in our relationship and that although he does see a future with me, he just wants to concentrate on the present for now. The funny thing is, since talking about it he has actually become more affectionate again. We saw each other again last night and I asked how he was. He said that since being completely open with me about everything, he actually feels closer to me and feels good about everything going forward but is worried that he may have pushed me away. I’m currently going through the motions of reflecting on all of this. It has made me worry...what if it is too soon for him?! Everything he has done has shown me that he very much cares for me and I really don’t want us to give up on this. But at the same time, I also don’t want to get hurt if he suddenly realises that he’s not ready. My gut is telling me to just slow it down and take it at his pace. But if I’m being honest it has made me feel more emotionally insecure around him. I have been hurt before and I don’t want to be in that position again. I guess I’m just trying to work out the best way forward so thoughts and comments would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post and thank you to anyone who had read this far!
  9. hi this isn’t exactly relationship advice but i don't know where else to post this and don’t know what else to do. so i work at a country club and a few weeks ago a new banquet captain was hired. and over the short amount of time he’s been here he’s put his hands on multiple of the women employees (some underage, including myself). usually he’ll touch or grab our waists or just our backs, he’s put his hands on my face before too. it makes us all feel really uncomfortable and multiple of us have told him to stop before, which he hasn’t. he also calls us all sweetheart, baby, cutie, etc. he’s also straight up told me i was cute before and told me i was being seductive to him when i told him to “come here” in the most normal way possible. i’m 16, he’s 30. this is just everything that has happened to me so far and i couldn’t even tell you all the things he’s said or done to the other girls in the workplace, some as young as 15. but, what my main concern and breaking point really is is that he said racist things to one of the black employees, calling him a “colored person”. i only found this out today but apparently this took place only a few days after this guy started. this is everything that has happened in a matter of about 3 weeks and i’ve gotten to the point where i don’t want to work with him anymore because he disgusts me in every way possible and makes me feel extremely uncomfortable to be around. i like my job and all of my other coworkers besides him so i don’t want to quit but i don’t know what to do. do i try reporting him to the general manager? what do i even say and how do i put it into words? i just want him out of this place because its making my job an uncomfortable environment, and not just for me. i don’t know if they would be hesitant to fire him since he is the banquet captain.
  10. New to this forum but have actually read quite a lot on the ex back and NC topics. Long story very short... 6-year relationship, she's 19 years younger... call me a cradle-snatcher, but we really understood each other for most of those 6 years. Lived together for 2 years. I should have seen it coming as all the signs were there and she actually tried to tell me many times - only I didn’t (want to) hear it :-(. She moved away in March this year but we saw each other every couple of days and she’d spend at least one night of each week. 8 weeks ago she just called it quits. Was a very cold shower and total surprise. I was upset at first and didn’t talk to her for two days, then we texted some there and back. But she was suddenly a different person - cold, non-understanding, not willing to talk about anything. All the usual stuff that you read about that a dumper does after the fact. I called her once but all I got was a brick wall. Sent a long email asking for some explanation and if we could work it out. Not sure she even read it. As I suspected, there is also a guy at play that she has been seeing / flirting with (maybe) since April. Not sure I would call this a rebound but I believe at some point in June, she would be torn between the two of us - more inclining to the new guy (for all the obvious reasons). She did keep in irregular contact a few times a week after that - saying she wants to stay friends as she cares too much for me and I mean a lot in her life. Kept telling her I am not her friend because simply I feel more than that. I went and read tons of stuff (never really been dumped in my life, haha). Went NC 4 weeks ago. Immediately started doing stuff - I’m not short of hobbies - do lots of sports but added a gym and personal trainer to occupy the mind and tire the body. Been playing the piano and guitar a lot lately (after many many years), been playing computer games in the evenings, reading advice on this forum and elsewhere. She contacted me after 2 weeks, asking to see me, which I (a bit reluctantly) agreed to, I said I would bring her magazines that were delivered for her to our place. I was never mean to her, only a bit cold I’d say. We met at Starbucks and I was trying to be upbeat and not display any sense of urgency, pleading or anything. Tried to look real busy at work (which I actually am now). She didn’t say why she wanted to meet - maybe she didn’t feel the situation was good or maybe she just wanted to meet as buddies over coffee, don’t know… She acted a bit annoyed, especially later when she asked if I was going to come to our sports trainings and events and I said I didn’t plan to. She also seemed a bit pressed for time towards the end, though she said she had plenty. I am sure she went to see the other guy right after that and maybe didn’t want to keep him waiting. We parted ways with a hug. I wanted to kiss her like I used to but she just wanted a friendly kiss, which I said no to. So we just hugged a bit more and she left. I texted her later saying it was good to see her and she should stay in touch if she wants to. She texted back that obviously I can’t have contact with her now so it’s me who needs to stay in touch. I said maybe she could come over one night to watch our favourite TV show. She said she’d like that. I left it at that and went back to NC. She texted again a week later (yesterday actually), calling me my sweetheart name and saying that a new series of our favourite show would be screening next Monday. I replied (nicely) that I would definitely watch! And she said - “you definitely should”.
  11. I'm inlove with a guy who is a good friend and he is also married. we have so much in common, and we get along good together. I dont see him as often as I used to because we dont work together anymore, I transferred out of his division because I didnt want complications like him finding out how i felt. We live in the same town and occasionally see each other shopping. I miss his smile and his easy going style, I miss being close to him. its been over a year since we worked together and I still have feelings for him what do I do??
  12. I've become heartless, cold and angry, yet i don't know why, I got over a tough relationship with my ex girl and found myself angry. I was seeing other women after that but I could'nt care less about them. Lately at work i've been somewhat of an a..hole to my co-workers, I don't talk to the family much and don't really care much about my close friends problems. I know it's not because of the break up, I got over that, but I still feel like I failed as a man or a person in general, I'm unhappy with my life, I don't wanna be where I am, but i'm stuck, I support my sick parents financially, there are so many things I want and can't have, I feel alone but don't really want anyone in my life right now cause I don't wanna bring them down with me it's a dilemma I can't figure out, I know theres gotta be something I could do. I know i'm not depressed or in need of a shrink, I'm sure it's something simple...I hope
  13. This is a crazy situation by I need to vent. My ex girlfriend was a very loving, caring, hard working woman and we planned our future together and I was going to propose to her MAY 05, but July 20, 2004, 2 days after we celebrated our 4 year anniversary we decided that we would step back so that she could get herself together and bring as much to the table as I was. Well the next day she was picked up by someone from my past that had disrespected me, like my girl and who my girl was attracted to. This person was someone that I was in a relationship for a year,but it didn't work and I broke up with her. It hurt me to know that all the time that I was trying to compromise as far as them being friends that my girl of 4 years probably was cheating on me. I found out after the break up that they were talking on the phone all day and at odd times of morning. My ex of four yrs has been spending the night, taking trips and having sex with her and I told her that there is no way that we will ever get back together b/c she played me w/ someone that I had been with. I have moved out and am buying a house and I have progressed in my career, I still see her out at the clubs and arm and arm with my previous ex but she plays it off like they are not in a relationship and that she just needed a break from being in a relationship but to me she's acting like she is in one. She's not the same woman that I once loved and she hurt me....I do miss her but I don't want to ever talk to her or see her again. She has told people that we will get back together. There are times when I want to understand why she did this and then there are times when I really don't care and I wish that Karma would come now. She wants to be friends and call me and talk to me but I figure that she has lied, cheated and disrespected me to be where she is so she needs to go ahead and leave me alone. I just don't understand why she won't just leave me alone and forget that I ever existed, it would make things alot easier. What is it that she is thinking? Or is she not thinking at all?
  14. Hey, Me an my girlfriend are really happy. I love pleasing her. We don't go that far because she doesn't want to, which is fine with me i respect that. So far she is All talk meaning she will say all this dirty stuff she want's to do and then not be up to it. On one occasion she told me she wanted to give me head, so of cource i agreed, and i asked if i could give her oral first, she also agreed. When it came time unbuttoning her pants her eyes turned into a sort of crying mode, no tears just red, i stopped what i was doing asked her if she was alrite continued questioning her and then she finally said she didnt wanna do it. Now she has done this in the past and it makes me feel like she doesn't trust me. When she does something like this my pride is hurt for a while and i feel like Shizzle . She gets me all worked up and then lets me down. The Shizzley feeling i try to cover it up but it just shows and i can't help it as much as i try... Another thing i should mention is she got the same way when were gonna make out at the mall but 3 visits later she did it without thought. I am very confused...is she just counting down on a clock...it feels like i am being messed with...am i???? What is the real problem here we have made out i've felt her up... she felt me up (reluctantly) and i have fingered her while her pants were on (yes my hands were actually inside her a load of times)(don't ask how) and that is it...what the heck is going on here
  15. If you could please read an earlier post of mine you could get some more background. Called "This guy at my work" in attraction and flirting forum. Anyways I go to work in a couple of hours and I'm going to be working with "J" my coworker/friend that I like at work, later on in the day for three hours. This is the only day I will see him for this week and I want to ask him to Sadies. Sadies is a dance on March 11 where the girl is suppose to ask a guy. He doesnt go to my high school although his younger brother does. A couple of cashiers at work already know I like him so I cant back out. Two set backs would be that I was told he broke up with his girlfriend by one of the cashiers but I'm not sure if thats true, and I know he plays soccer so he might have a game on a friday night. There is also another girl at my work that likes him but I have to put that aside. I work at a grocery store and want to know how I should ask him to go with me. Should I write it out, pull him aside and ask him, or do something like call the service desk when he is standing there cause he always runs to be the one to answer the phone and ask him? Any other ideas, suggestions, opinions would be great. Today would be the day to ask him otherwise I would have to call or come in and ask, I need to find out cause the dance is next Friday. I've only been to one other dance in HS and that was Homecoming with some of my girl friends. I've never had a boyfriend or asked a guy to do something with me. I'm really nervous! Please, any advice would be appreciated...
  16. conversation within a group setting. This is what I have so far. (1) PERSONAL OPINIONS (2) OBSERVATIONS (3) COMPLIMENTING (4) SHARING INFORMATION (various subjects, including self) "You could actually get those spark plugs cheaper at Kragen, you know.." "Yeah, I think it's 20 dollars to get in, but I'll check the club's website. "I might go to Mammoth Lake, depending on the snow conditions." "Guys? Check this out.. I read this magazine, right, and it featured an interview about __________________" (5) STORY-TELLING "This party I went to was _______________" "On our break we saw this totally cute girl, but she smiled at Robert instead of me. This happened before, at the last conference we went to.." "I swerved the car to the left and managed to avoid colliding with the deer. My girlfriend freaked, though.." (6) OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS (that show interest in someone) When did you go to the ________________? Have you been to La Plebe's shows lately? How much mileage does it have? (7) LIGHT-BANTER WITH SOMEONE (work in progress) I would love to hear your suggestions! I realize that it is hard to classify and categorize things in life, but hopefully this well help. Thanks, SFboi415
  17. 3 days ago my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. It was out of the blue. our relationship was perfect up until this last week then he broke up with me. I just moved from Durango (where he lives and I graduated from) to Colorado Springs. It is a 5 hour drive and he didnt want a long distance realtionship. I had to move to get a job and I asked him that if I would have gotten a job there would he still have broken up with me and he said maybe. I feel so alon. I really love him and I told him that and I asked him why he didnt care about me enough to make this work and he said it was because he knew from the start that it would end when I left so he didnt let himself fall for me. the thing is I know he cares about me. when I went to mexico for a week he had texted me the night before I came home " I miss you, I need you, I want to touch you and be with you. please get home soon so I can see you." he would text me and say this stuff to me all the time. everyone who met him told me how much they saw how much he cared about me. my dad thinks its becasue its no longer convienent for him. I think he still loves me but he can't admit it to me or himself. I think he is scared of me because our reltionship was actually really good and a;; his past realtionships were bad with tons of fighting. I know that if we were in the same town and I had a job we could be together and be really happy. both of us. someone please tell me how to get him back. I took some advise that was posted on here and I am not going to contact him for a while but I need some advice. I really think he is the one. please help
  18. Ok, a few weeks ago a guy started working with me, he is cute and i was attracted at first but that was all. And then he's begun to give me and other people lifts home from work.. i should explain he's 26 and i'm only 16... So he dropped this other person off and took me home... we were at the bottom of my drive for an hour in his car talking JUST TALKING! So i go back into my house and my dad and step mum are in the kitchen and try to talk to me and ask me if there is anything going on.. and i tell them the truth, that there is nothing going on between me and him. But you can tell they don't believe me but they let me go anyway. So i then get a lecture from my little brother and my step sister and then finally my step mum! But the thing is if my mum can believe me why can't they? Is there anyway i can get them all to believe the truth? Catie xxx
  19. Hey everyone. I'm feeling kinda down and just need some friendly encouragement. Aside from being a nutritionsist(my day job) I am also an actor. I've done it forever, but unfortunately due to financial and family issues I've had, I haven't done it in a while. I recently decided to get back to it and did my first audition in a long time. I felt really proud of myself, because I prepared really well and had a killer audition. I felt very confident about it until I got an email yesterday saying that they regretted not being able to use my talent for this particular season, but that they sincerely appreciated my audition and wished me success. And also enocuraged me to audition next year. I am not really crushed or anything(I have another audition in couple weeks) but just disappointed and need some encouragement. I start questioning my talent and place in life. Any friendly words would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
  20. Ok 2 jobs come up at the same time, i went for both interviews, one was for an I.T analyst, and i really wanted this job, the other was a networking job. The analyst was for a big company and the I.T area was really professional and the area i wanted to get into. The networking place, is for a crappy freight company, and its not even an I.T area they just need someone to help another guy out, i didnt like the work surroundings, it just didnt seem professional in the I.T area , it was just basically help this guy out with the servers (very small in one tiny room) with the problems they had etc. Both positions are same wage, the analyst was like 10 mins walk from me, and the networker job was like 40 mins on the bus. I got told today i didnt get the analyst job and i feel really down, the agency woman swore i would get it, i was confident and thought i had it, it was between 2 of us, it was just such a shock that i didnt get it and it kinda hurt. Thing is, i have to ring the other job back and tell thenm what i want to do, but im not sure im even interested in that job now, not cause of the other placement was better, thinkink of it now, im not sure i even wanted to work in that place. One more thing, my parents are always naggin me to at LEAST get something, i have been tryign real hard these couple of weeks and they havent said much, do you think they will MAKE me goto this position. I forgot to add that this networker job they want someone in there for like 2 years, im not sure i will even want to be there 6 months lol. dunno what to do any suggestions?
  21. I lost my job in November. Ive been really bummed about being unemployed and my boyfriend has been supportive emotionally but pretty cheap and unwilling to go ahead and purchase anything for us to do without making me feel kind of guilty. There are things I want to do (concerts, sporting events, things like that). And while he gets a lot of gifted tickets from his season pass holder aunt and uncle he always takes his son. A male friend of mine asked me to go to a NBA game and Ive always wanted to go. My boyfriend doesnt like me to even mention this guys name (we've were friends long before he and I started dating). Because I conveyed to him a joke that this friend stated regarding he and I getting together. My boyfriend's not perfect but I love him and he is my best friend right now. I just want to go to the stupid game and lay off some stress but I dont want this to be a bad thing for our relationship. Either way things could get kind of silly. Should I just go and skate around the truth?
  22. Ive heard of people talking dirty before and durring sex i was just wondering what to say and did it turn you on and if their was any hand jobs or fingering while doing it also if you have any other suggestions on how to improve or spice up sex please let me know im all ears and open to anything also any tips on oral or any positions you may favor
  23. I read all of these posts with the NC rule working out and some that dont work out. I am 21 years old and have been with my ex gf since i was 17 she was 16 i was her first everything, first kiss first sex partner basically she learned everything from me. I screwed up big time with not doing anything with my life and getting comfortable and dependent on her. she had been telling me to do something with my life for about 3 years i guess her feelings have changed a little bit over time. she says shes confused and doesnt know what she wants she is in college and has a lot of things going on with her life and i am so proud of how hardworking she is and so disapointed in myself for not seeing the signs and taking her for granted thinking subcontiously that she will be there always. i didnt do anything with my life just worked sometimes and what not. finally she had enough and said that she needs some space at first. i guess she wanted me to change and i started to change my ways but still talking to her and still seeing her, i was having a very hard time because i was getting mixed signals and would get excited real quick for example we went to the getty museum enjoyed some art and she kissed my once and i said thats not a kiss give a real 1 and she kissed me again. i couldnt take it anymore i was hanging on for hopes that might not be there so i didnt know what to do i called her friend which is my friend kind of but she is on her side. her friend told me that she is still confused and doesnt know what she wants because my changes i think werent big enough mind you im still changing and it will take time, anyways she arranged a phone call with me and my ex and she told me that shes sorry for leading me on and that she does love me she said i have a awesome personality and a heart of gold and that im very hansom but i have to let go i was still clinging on and was so affraid of the NC thing we were very honest and open with eachother. she said because i was still clinging on and keeping contact everytime she would begin to feel something i would ruin it by trying to see her call her be with her so i said i know i have to let you go and i now have no choice to accept that you are gone and if we are meant to be she will comeback to me she said yes thats right, so basically we ended it very gentle and i said to her before i hung up i said you were a bird that i loved so much and i kept you in my hands and didnt let you fly away but i see that in order for you to get back the true love feelings you once had i need to let you go and become an independent man so i said fly away little birdy fly..... and said bye she then said dont say bye i will still talk to you and you wll still call me i said no im sorry i cant call you and she said ok i was beggining to get emotional and my voice was cracking i was trying so hard with all my might not to cry and i didnt but she could hear it in my voice the last things she said was you know sometimes things have a way of working out and we hung up. now its been more then 2 weeks im ok i have a long road ahead of me i have a lot of changes to make. i am kind of a weak person and she is so strong i think this is her way of making me change and become a stronger person i dont know im still very much in a state of shock but am accepting it slowly. the NC thing could benefit me or not i guess we will see what the following months will bring she is the love of my life i love this girl sooooooooooooo much. weve been together for 4 1/2 years and im shattered is she doing this to get me to change? or is she really confused? is she trying to get rid of me gently? im getting my life on track and she sees that what should i do evryone tells me she will come around 4 1/2 years is a long time for a girl to forget especially if i was her first love. i dont know im so lost all i know is that everything happens for a reason and thats all i really have going for me I sent flowers for valentines day and called she didnt pick up but later that night she sent a text msg thanking me for the flowers, my friends tell me to be patient shell come around but i need some professional advice help me out guys pleaseeeee!!!!!!
  24. my bf is from another country, hates his job and is homesick im 30 and hes 26, we've been living together for a year the other day he asked me where i see the relationship going i said i was happy with everything, he said he feels a bit trapped as he never gets time to himself i have compromised and started going out a couple times a week to give him a bit of time in the flat alone as he never got any before as i was always there he hasn't said much since then, that was a couple weeks ago i feel a bit funny, always wondering how he's feeling about me how do i find out if hes happier, he doesn't really like 'talking' but i feel uncomfortable about how things are at the moment
  25. so things kind of ended at beginning of the month. but we know we still love each other. and we're good friends, so still been in contact. past 4 days, she's been having breakdown, over personal things. and i know she doesn't talk 2 anyone about it, but she at least talks 2 me about most of it. so we've been txting every nite till very extreme hours until she sleeps for a few hours and then start txting again. i've been sticking by, supporting her and reassuring her. she even rang the nite b4 last. i know i cheer her up. the 1st nite i said i'll go over and c her in the morning, she didn't say yes/no so i didn't. then at nite when she rang, she asked y i hadn't turned up so i said i don't know. so yesterday, her being back at work, i assumed things would get better. she even emailed me from work to c how my day had been and told me 2 enjoy my evening. when i emailed back, i realised she wasn't in a gd state once again. however this time i asked wot happened......but perhaps it was cos she was at work, she didn't mention wot happened. so i didn't push on. again i said if u need anyone i can come and c u. no direct response again except 'thank u' so i didn't go. after midnight she txted to say she just got home from seeing clients. and said she was depressed, i didn't ask wot was wrong cos i assumed i wouldn't get an answer. and she didn't call so i left it to her. she txted so i replied and told her 2 let me know how she feels in morning when she wakes up. then at half 2am, she txted to say 'nite' so obviously she was still thinking bout me. i eventually txted when i knew she was asleep and said just give me a yes/no answer in the morning as 2 whether u want me 2 come and c u. so this morning, she said 'no to ur question, not the right time. time i need 2 be on my own. love 2 c u sometime but not in these circumstances.' she even signed off with 'xxx' as opposed to the 'x' i usually get nowadays. so i'm just confused........y would she not want 2 c me if she loves me so much? i wanted 2 c her solely as a friend. but each time we do c each other, something ends up happening, but its always her who makes the move, so i wouldn't just start kissing her or anything. i just want 2 make sure she's ok cos she just drinks and smokes when she's home from work. does her txt mean its all over between us? usually she always wants 2 c me, so i'm not sure whether she really does just need time on her own or what? cos when i'm depressed, its true to say i want 2 be on my own in my room, but i'd see my closest friends for a little while. so i don't understand what she wants. obviously i replied that 'it's fine, i understand' but just want to know wot u think she's thinking. and where do i stand? if she didn't care or want 2 hear from me, she shouldn't be txting or emailing or calling me......and now that i am helping her, with her saying 'thanks 4 caring 4 me....thanks 4 being here etc' she doesn't want 2 c me! any responses from u guys would be nice, thanx!
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