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DarkCh0c0

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DarkCh0c0 last won the day on September 19

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  1. That's it. She cheated on you. She's a cheater. The reason she gets angry/defensive and blamed you for the skin tab is because she probably got it from some other dude(she thought it was some std, panicked, didn't go to the dr, and then blamed you) Regardless, your relationship sounds like torture. She's controlling, dismissive and selfish. Time to leave this and find someone with healthy behaviour who would trust you and take your needs in consideration. She isn't the one for you. Yup^ Learn to put your foot down as well with the next lady when she gaslights you or accuses of cheating. Don't enable it or put up with it. You know who you are.
  2. It hurts to be on the other side, huh? That's very selfish from your end fyi she deserves to be with someone who wants her and loves her equally from day 1. Now the damage and hurt has been done. It'd be toxic to get back together. You need to cease contact, let go and reap your lessons. It's okay. It gets better with time.
  3. It won't end until she'll want to do so. Probably, not anytime soon. And from your post, if I'm correct, your mom is a narcissist. She's abusive. I don't care how sweet she is, the abuse is unacceptable. People who "love" each other don't abuse each other. What you need to do, sadly, is learn to keep her at arm's length. Keep your mom at bay. Limit contact. Don't confide secrets or sensitive info with her. Perhaps, your father would be better confidant than your mom (up to you to judge). I'm sorry it's like this. It's really tough to see our parents this way. The ones who are supposed to love us and protect us... Hurt us and mess us up. Get therapy help, and develop close healthy friends. Your friend might come around- but don't beat yourself up. It's not your fault. Normal people wouldn't do what your mom did. She's a jealous selfish narc. Take care of you. Put yourself first. We don't choose our family unfortunately. But, we do choose our friends.
  4. Agree. I only suggested camera because I want her to flip out when she sees what's happening and learn to trust her mom and adult gut. OP doesn't seem strong enough to face him more/put her foot down. She probably doesn't believe what's happening (I mean when you think about it, it's crazy to find yourself living with a pedo). OP do what you need to do asap. But be smart and careful. If he's a pedo, then his mind it f* twisted and he can go angry/violent. Keep the police in mind again and consult a lawyer asap. Save your daughter asap. If this has happened for years, then she is very very psychologically damaged and has a trauma for life to deal with 😞
  5. I suggest you cease communication and let him work on himself/heal. Should he want to reach out again (we're talking in months), then that'll be your sign. Otherwise, you are both free to date other people- specially you. Let him go. If he appreciates you enough, he'll come back.
  6. @Mary A you need private trauma therapy. There are reasons you stay/attract such men you and your sisters, and I'm almost sure it's because of the relationship of your parents and the overall upbringing. There are people who can help you draw better boundaries, put yourself first, and no longer go towards these people. Your ex is history. You need to heal and move on to live more happily on your own.
  7. MC I really really hope it hasn't been going on for years. I really really hope so. If so, then idk what to say. The mom is as guilty.
  8. Also,if you catch an act on camera: don't face him immediately. Call the cops discretely before you get your daughter(so as the cops drop by). You don't know who you're really dealing with here. I'm sorry you're going through this. Remember to call the cops. You can't save her if he threatens/becomes violent on you.
  9. Okay. He IS CRAZY!!! I suggest before you do anything to buy a wireless camera and put it on a top shelf discretely in her bedroom. When he goes down, you check your phone recording from the camera and see what he's doing. You'll have proof! He might not do anything as soon as he goes to her bedroom. You might have to check the recording the next day. Make sure he doesn't find out about the camera/receives this by mail instead of you. Have you ever talked to your daughter about this?! In a "cute" way? "So daddy came over? Do you fee safe when he's there?". Although, if he told her to never tell mommy, she most probably won't if he's a perv. I agree with everyone else. But, consider the camera for proof. This is disgusting. Forhow long has this been going? You're most probably living with a perv!!! Please save your daughter.
  10. You come first. Remember that. I don't care how insulted she'd feel or hurt. She's asking for too much and you have to accommodate so much. Kindly decline. "Mom I love you, but I thought over it and can't do it this time. I'd like to arrange the furniture myself and get some rest time with my husband. We'll stay in touch/ re-arrange another time once we're more in x stage of the move/we can meet another time for coffee" Could that work? Remember, she's going to be hurt anyways. It's just how it is.
  11. Okay. I personally don't like his comment as well. Sounds to me like a non mature and non-considerate response. Sinceyou watch porn together, how is sex in general? Are you actively intimate? Does he value you/take you out on dates? Is he like that in areas of the relationship?
  12. Sorry you're feeling this way. Indeed, he doesn't complement you or your efforts. He doesn't make you feel seen or valued. Are you a long-distance couple? How often do you see each other?
  13. It's really heartbreaking to see how manipulated you are by this woman. All her behaviours have damaging Consequences and you keep on baling her out. For 10 years now. And, you think the kids don't see that? I don't know if they even trust you guys when it comes to the relationship. Anyways, somebody who is truly an amazing partner in life would NOT have you go through all this. Let that sink in.
  14. Before you even consider this, you need to be ready to be in a relationship. You need to be happy as a single person, independent, have a good self esteem, and be respectful of your boundaries and needs. As you date someone, you keep track of red flags, compatibilities and incompatibilities, and stop when needed. If you are in a relationship, you communicate mutually your needs and don't let problems be swept under the rug. The list can go on and on, but you need to realize that some things can be worked on and some things not; That will come with experience and a good self esteem.
  15. Why do you want to move in with someone who doesn't want you there? Imagine you'll be stressed, living based on her rules, depending on your relationship with your bf(which might end one day), and walking on egg shells all time. It won't be sustainable. I really hope you find a roommate with a friend or someone you don't know (there are fcbk groups and websites in which there are people who rent student rooms in flat-shares). Take care of you. As wiseman said, you are smart and will pull through on your own.
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