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DarkCh0c0

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  1. Yea. Have you discussed having a ceremony/party to celebrate the fact you are together? Without a legal contract. I don't get the you have to spend a ton of money. There are so many ways to celebrate such precious time in your life on a budget. So, if this is something that she holds dear to her, then you have to find a solution. Either you suggest middle-grounds for e.g. small ceremony (with maybe even rings! No contract, but nice party, she gets to wear her lovely dress and invite friends and family), or you reconsider the future of this relationship. She will grow bitter and resent it if you guys don't have that talk.
  2. I agree with @smackie9. You're sweeping a red flag under the rug (whether it's moodiness, she's not that into you, or mental illness). Something is off. I suggest you be careful.
  3. @bsim627 you don't reach out to her. The ball is in her court now. So, it's up to her to reach out and not you. That should be your next critical step.
  4. Honestly, when I read this it's like I'm reading myself years ago. I was just like her: I was out of touch with my feelings, didn't know why I was making plans that didn't include my ex, easily influenced, and my communication was poor. But, I was 22. Anyways, these things might mean she doesn't feel special enough, or that you are not affectionate with her. There's something missing in the "sauce", and so she's checking out. I would personally say, let her go. I also broke up with my ex over it, then came back to him and then broke up with him. I now see I had needs that weren't meet in the relationship, but didn't know how to assert myself/express them. And when I did, just like @boltnrun, the man tried- but it catches up. He is what he is. I shouldn't have accepted that he become something else for me- and he did get back to his regular unaffectionate self later on. You can't be who you aren't. She might feel similar to what I did(although at her age, it's weird she hasn't figured this/herself out, but you live and learn). So, my sincere advice is: don't get caught up in this. Don't accept silent treatments. Let her go. No begging or pleading. Value yourself and your time. Somebody who loves you wouldn't have you go through all this.
  5. @bsim627 I'm sorry about this. How do you usually show her love? Unfortunately, it seems like she's checking out. She's not feeling it. Better let her go and find someone who wouldn't have constant doubts about your love/relationship.
  6. Second date and he put his hands there? Creepy vibes indeed. I'd be creeped out/uncomfortable no matter how charming he is. I suggest you either: confront him next time he does it. Say you're not comfortable with it and see how he responds. Or, end it.
  7. @ZebDed why is her answer "probably bs"? Otherwise, good. You threw the ball in her court. Now it's up to her to get back to you. If she doesn't, ah well. Next.
  8. I'm sorry honey. You were his rebound. It worked for a while, then he figured out he needs to stop. He clearly is not over his ex. The question is, why are you hanging on to a man that still thinks and loves/has not moved on from another woman? Yes, he's special. But that's not enough. A partner should be able to give you back all his attention and be able to be emotionally involved. He's not. So I suggest you give him his space and focus on you. Who knows, maybe in a few months he'll reach out. But for now, better let him process his break up.
  9. @smilieman sounds very lovely! Cheers to new beginnings.
  10. @andreasg9677 yes. You need that. I work in HR, so I understand your concern. Definitely take a break to chill. No goals. Just giving your mind and body time to relax and remember why you do what you do and what matters to you. You need to enjoy life and remember what joy is like for you. I'm waiting too for August to end so that I can take a break. It's so tough and prices doubled at hotels. Anyways, you seem very ambitious. I'm sure you'll find your own path.
  11. Hello, Honestly, you've been through a lot. I'd suggest to take a breather and then reflect on what you want to do in the long term. Can you afford taking some time off and going on a vacation? Near the beach/mountain for an extended weekend for example. You need to give yourself space and take this pressure off. Once you let go a bit, you'll have some space to reflect and think how you want your life to be instead of jumping from gig to gig. I'm sure there are satisfying ways to get closer to your life goals. We can't tell you here what to do next in regards to them. You'll have to study your options/network/consult. But, I can tell you before that you need a break.
  12. Omg. This is extremely toxic! Block and delete this man out of your life. Show him he's dealing with a strong woman who only seeks respectful and healthy men. He thinks he can insult you and you would still go back to him? Honey, I'm sorry. Nope. No. Block and delete. Forget about him. Do not succumb to any pressure or guilt trip. You owe him nothing. Please work on your self-worth and know that you matter as a woman.
  13. @Soccergirl08 what wiseman said^ Also, you don't need that man. He's giving you 0 value. For now, you are the mom of his kids. That's it. Be that. I suggest you fully separate from him and work on being a happier single mom. With time, you will find a man that actually cares for you and loves you unlike this pr*ck who's keeping you around for nothing (I hope you're not the one keeping him around). I'm so sorry, but you need to end this and set each other free.
  14. I'm sorry you're going through this. Bipolar is not at all easy to deal with. It's something that your SO will have to work on herself, and if she stops her meds when she feels well... Then there's not a lot you can do 😕 I had an ex (6 years together) and I found out at the end of the relationship that he had bipolar. He used to do the same> feel better, all is good> meds out> depressive episode>the struggle(!) To get back on meds and be patient that they have an effect on him. He'd done this about 3 times throughout the relationship. And let me tell you, I was very supportive- but I was also drained. First time, I gave it all I got. The second time... It was difficult. Third time, I couldn't anymore. + He started using the disease as an excuse for the way he treated me. After some struggles, I managed to leave. Nothing I did was ever enough anyways. So, listen to your heart that is asking these questions in this post and ask yourself what @boltnrun just wrote. Are you ready for the ride? Cause it'll be a bumpy one... Not the most fun one for sure. Also, worthy to think of: does your gf give back? Are you getting your needs met in this relationship?- despite the bipolar. Would you still be compatible regardless of this challenge?
  15. @achefull aren't you renting from your parents? How is renting from them "greedy"? Listen, when you become an adult, there is no reason for you not to pay rent and utilities. You need to strap-on a pair and decide what you want here. We've all given you options, but you keep on complaining about how your parents won't stop doing things. How about you start doing things your way? Take initiative. You go after the change you want.
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