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eNotAlone public & private journals.
  1. What's new in this club
  2. Aw. I doubt your doing anything wrong. It's just one of those frustrating numbers games is all.
  3. Couldn’t sleep last night either, but no headache. Still angry. I was so patient with him yet I’m the one that gets tossed aside. How come everyone else gets their happy ending and I don’t? Feel like I’m forever making the wrong choices which means whatever I decide to do next will be wrong too.
  4. So all my thoughts on posting out.... I am scared because I have spent, it will be 11 years here this summer and half my son’s life in this one little town and in this one little house. He has his friends here. But at least he has text and FaceTime and all that stuff to stay in touch with his friends. I didn’t have that when I moved as a teenager or young adult. There was only snail mail. I am kind of glad to move because I’m kind of done with the community but at the same time I don’t want to leave it I guess because of anxiety. and I’m anxious to go and make new friends not a good
  5. It is . They have been “ going to tell us “ since November.
  6. We don’t know yet. 🤦‍♀️ Fourth time in a row we don’t know. It is between two places. They will let us know “ soon” 🙄
  7. Where we are posted to this summer. We are finally leaving Podunkville.
  8. 🙂 Of course I have commitment issues, big time, but I don't really believe my case is that I want something I can't have. I am saying this because my brain does not function this way. Can I find other girls with similar personality if I start dating like it's a second job? Yes and no. Yes there are playful and witty people out there. No because I haven't met someone else who is as playful and witty. And it's not only this, she is a mathematician (big +), pretty (++), spent a lot of time in Greece and loves the culture(her parents had a house there), we worked together, I know ho
  9. It's true, we live and learn. But my point is, we have the ability to be more than animals. If we want to keep enjoying our non-animal society, then most of us have to act better than animals. A couple freeloaders can be supported. But a healthy balance must remain. Right now, I think we (as a species) are tipping that balance. It's interesting that your feelings have increased like this right when you're about to leave. Fear of commitment, do you think?
  10. If you forget your wallet on a bench in the park and you don't find it when you come back, who is to blame? you or the person who took it? In my opinion both. You can't change the world but you can change yourself and be less forgetful the next time. My point is, you need to take care of yourself because nobody else will and nobody else should, it's not their job. You can forget your wallet in the park every time and you can blame the thief every time but nothing will change. As for the "big fish eats small fish" mentality, I think you need to address your concerns to mother nature.
  11. Omg hell they STILL don’t know for sure !!! BUT they have one of the options as the Nation’s Capital and they NEVER send a first time TDO there. Everyone is astounded.
  12. Urgh, headache and sore stomach overnight, which I assume are side effects. Slight tenderness at jab site. So a very lazy day. It’s been so nice out but I have little energy to enjoy it today, maybe tomorrow after work. Feeling anger at him for leading me on. I want to shout at him to let him know. During our relationship we never argued, I rarely do when I’m with someone but I wonder if that contributed to him walking away in some way? Cowards way out instead of discussing how he was feeling with me. Angry at the past year in general and how everything is messed up - can’t see friends, c
  13. I totally stopped handling ANYTHING to do with his family. I don’t care about cards or birthdays or pictures or anything. If he does he does if he doesn’t he doesn’t. I don’t care . Callus? Maybe but so are they.
  14. Yea that's what I'm letting him do. He doesn't send them anything though... I'm the one who sends them pics of the kids, cards for their birthdays (from all of us obviously), pictures in the cards, etc. So if I totally stop, nothing will get done. But I guess that's ok? I don't know... I'm probably going to get a card (or see if my husband wants to pick one at the store) and we'll send it for his dad's birthday with pictures of the kids in it. I still feel like us doing the right thing or kind thing, is right, no matter if it's appreciated, etc. (But I'll heed my mentor
  15. It is a commonly used term these days, for sure. I get sick of hearing it, but I hesitate to say that it's overused. The fact is, we live in a narcissistic society. It's been this way for decades. It's easy for us, who have grown up in a society of jerks and liars, to say, "Well, you have to be a jerk and a liar to run the world." But, it could not have been this way for the whole course of human history. The pattern is too destructive. Slowly, over the last hundred years or so, the tolerance for narcissism has increased. Probably because TV and radio (and now smartphones!) made it
  16. You'll probably relate to this one... This makes so much sense.
  17. I just let my husband handle his nest of goons. I know he wants me to LOOOOOVE them because you know they LOOOOOVE youuuuuu. 🙄🙄🙄( yeah right) it is just his wildest dream .
  18. I should probably add just so that I can look back at this later on.... The only solution I've found for the silent treatment is to carry on living our your life happily without them... to go, "No Contact." But I don't get for how long? Until they do something and break, like when they called for one of our kids' recent birthdays? And then we just go right back to it? 😂 LOL It's all honestly too much for me to keep up with. Like crazy mind games that I'm just not that interested in playing. 🤷‍♀️ If anyone has any advice or experience with this, I'm all ears...
  19. So my husband's parents had been giving us, "The Silent Treatment," for about 2 months until he broke it (first) by worrying how they were doing in the severe weather. What I mean by the Silent Treatment is they do passive things that are still rejection. They routinely ignore cute texts I'll send with pictures of their grandchildren in it, literally replying nothing back (as if it didn't go through). When I talked to my mentor about that she advised I totally stop sending them pictures of our kids. Of course this seems cruel to me, I think, "surely they'll miss seeing them!" B
  20. There's a good book out there called, "Don't Let Jerks Get the Best of You," and it actually classifies people into different levels of how jerky they are, from 1st degree jerks to the extremely difficult 3rd degree jerks. I think severe narcissists typically fall into the 3rd degree jerk level, which means they probably can't change or be helped 😕 .
  21. Nah, that's just your self-doubt talking. Improving yourself and your situation, taking care of yourself properly, will make you feel a lot better. People are attracted to people who feel good about themselves. So, go ahead and improve away.
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