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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. Title of this thread is the same as my blog... except the after dark part. I added After Dark because I most likely will write about things here that I don't write about in my Blog. Here I am anonymous... there I'm not. So, now it's time to work my nerves a bit... To M... Posting on facebook that you started your rag... Really? While your at it why don't you just post pics of some used tampons for all our enjoyment. To B... The things you do that used to annoy me so much are starting to annoy me less and less. But, it's not that I've had a change of heart and see the error of my ways or anything... It's just that I CARE less and less. Also to B... While you are sitting on your ass talking/typing about all the things you want to do, I am actually out doing the things I want to do. But you continue to criticize me. To AZ, Would you be my friend at all if I didn't make good money? I love hanging out with you, but anymore every time I see you you expect me to spend it on you. To A... this isn't working my nerves. But I still want to say it. Thank you for making me feel the way you have these last couple days.
  2. Well ,it looks like my hand may be pushed faster then I think . I heard a rumour ,yes ,you have to love the rumour mill that our new building is going to be condemned . I had to talk to my boss today and yesterday she told me we plan to re-start in 2 weeks and today she tells me we don’t know what we’re doing yet . So obviously the rumour mill is true . Thank Jesus I applied for unemployment ! A friend added me to all the Facebook child care sites and buy and sells. Unfortunately, my boss is on all the childcare sites . She’s going to know my plan eventually .
  3. I want to chronicle my journey, post-breakup so that hopefully ENAers current and in the future can use my story as a point of reference. I'll do my best to post here each day with how I'm feeling, doing, interactions, etc. My story? Senior in college. Mutually broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 years six weeks ago. Neither of us were happy in the relationship anymore. We basically spent most of our free time together and over-time, that led to a toxic dynamic. We neglected our friends to be together. We just agreed that we loved and cared about each other and didn't want to totally ruin our dynamic by continuing at our current pace. We wanted time to work on ourselves and find happiness alone again before ever having a healty relationship again. Don't get me wrong. Our relationship was based off of a lot of love. She has still told me that she knows that she's going to marry me one day and that no one will ever treat her better than I did. Do I believe her? Well, I did and still somewhat do. No such thing as false hope because hope doesn't mean success. We've been through everything together from swine flu, to pregnancy scares, deaths in the family, mental breakdowns, hospital visits, going grocery shopping on a Friday night. We've pretty much experienced much more than you should in a 2.5 year time frame. The last six weeks? Hellish. I've asked for her back on four different occasions to only be rejected each time (Three of them were alcohol-enduced). After a few days passed by, I felt like we could handle the problems while in the relationship. Well, she didn't agree. She kept saying that she needed 'space'. So I've been in and out of NC. My longest period was for three weeks and I felt so much better. However, after I saw her at a bar and I was really drunk, I started to text her and ask for her back. This didn't go over well and I called and apologized to her today. Basically, my fear of loss has compelled me to do a lot of stupid things. I've out of character on more than one occasion. I can't cook, either. So that has sucked, a lottttt. Is there a rebound? Nope. She's not interested in dating anyone else. She has spent a ton of time with her friends, who are all single. Most were very envious of our relationship because it was so damn comfortable. Definitely could be a phase. Has she contacted me? Yep. The most recent time was last Wednesday. She texts me late at night. Like 12:30 am. And mind you, she is not a drinker. So these aren't drunk texts. These are 'I put my head on the pillow and think about you' texts. She's just a better actor than I am when disguising her feelings. I know she still cares about me. One of her last texts to me? 'I'm starting to feel like a normal person again'. Just goes to show that they hurt just as much as we do, post-breakup. Misc I removed her on Facebook awhile back. I don't take my cell phone when I go out to avoid drunk texting (bit me twice in the past). Her family absolutely loves me. Her brother still talks to me and often asks for my advice. Her mom came to visit two weeks ago and wanted to come over to see me. However, I was at work. She has 'checked in' on me a few times. I didn't really give her much information, but I didn't exactly blow her off. I feel like that is not productive if you want someone back who doesn't have a current boyfriend/fling. What Have I Done? Re-connect with old friends. Met lots of new friends. Go out, a lot. Meet new girls. Exercise like crazy. I've dropped 15 pounds over this six week period. I've really worked hard at my job and with my college work. Tried to do everything in my power to not think about her. Final Thoughts I miss this girl like crazy, but I'm slowly letting go. That's the only way you can get yourself back. I'd like to have her back someday, but not until I'm 100% happy again and she gets this whole phase out of her system. Hopefully this gave you an intro to my situation and feel free to chime in whenever. Just remember, when you love someone, you never give up. That doesn't mean you'll get them back, but if you truly love someone, you'll want them to always be happy. Your happiness, however, is always the top priority. Don't forget the push-pull dynamic. The more you push, the worse things will become. You can never 'pull' too much. The best gift you can give an ex? The gift of missing you. Go away. If you envision positive things, they'll happen for you.
  4. I look on this forum a lot to see if there are any new stories about people getting back together with their ex's. I do it just so that I can have some hope, and I really hope someday I can post my story on here to give others confidence that having hope pays off. In the meantime, I am going to make a list of actual stories of people I know that broke up and got back together. Please post your stories here too and we can put a little bit of cheer into this forum. 1. My friend was dumped by his girlfriend of 4 years. They were broken up for a year and a half and he tried everything to get her back. One day he was with his friend talking about her and she called him right then to talk about something trivial, and he went over to her house. They got back together and now they are engaged. 2. My friend's sister and her husband broke up for four years and now they are married with 3 kids. 3. My friend broke up with her high school sweetheart when we were 19 and they got back together a few years later and have been together ever since. 4. My other friend broke up with her high school sweetheart when she was a sophomore in college and they just got back together and now they live together. 5. A friend of my ex's was so sad about a girl forever, talked about her all the time when we were out at the clubs, couldn't believe they broke up, etc....now they have been back together for over a year. 6. My friend and her boyfriend dated for a few years, broke up for 9 months, now they are engaged. She says their relationship is better than ever now they are back together. 7. My friend was hung up on this guy forever, he would go back and forth and never commit, now they are living together and she is going to have a baby. They are really happy and in the end it worked out great. That is just some of the stories I know off the top of my head. Please post any stories of reconciliation that you know of so that we can have some cheer in this forum.
  5. Since more than 1 week, my friend is really mad at me and don’t want to talk to me for now. I did a lot of wrong thing, I was too attached to her….I said things about other people that I shouldn’t tell, my behavior towards her but also towards my other friends chocked her. I am not a good person… she did a lot of things for me…and I didn’t know how to say her thank you. I love her a lot and she feels like I love her TOO much. It’s really recent, I wrote a lot of letter drafts that I will give her in a future but I don’t know when. It’s now too recent to give her and come to talk to her. I feel so miserable and guilty, because it’s my fault. I hate my uncontrollable feelings and words ruining everything like it often did. I feel bad because I hurt her and the others and I maybe lost one of my dearest friend. we spent good moments together….Why should I do? I feel so bad…see her distant and angry makes me sad…and mad at me. should I wait to ask her to maybe chat but out of school, just the two of us? How much time it will takes for her to calm down…She doesn’t hate me actually, she is just mad and angry…. I feel like she is hesitant talking to me sometimes, she stares at me or walk by me when she thinks I don’t see her and then leave after hesitated a moment. Maybe she is sad and lost too? Maybe she feels like she was too rude…I don’t know… i know she loves me, or used to..she talked to me like a sister…I ruined everything…I try to becoming a better person now…but it’s hard. any advices ?
  6. In my opinion...online. If you have met the girl in person and one day she wakes up and says to herself, "Gee, I am going to break up with my boyfriend." and then she does it, it is a rather sickening and horrific way of getting rid of you. Sadly in some cases there isn't a choice. This has happened to me nearly a year ago but I know friends both male and female who are victim to this. I think the worst thing is it seems easy for them. They do not see the pain in your eyes when you are told the news. They cannot see your facial expression to see how much it affected you. They cannot see the torture you have just endured for that second you read that note. They cannot see how all of your hopes and dreams have been wiped off the face of the earth and so has all of your efforts of being with that person. It is a horrible way to die and trust me, I feel for you guys out there because I been there and I would rather be lonely for good than to even imagine what the dumper is thinking in their mind. It appears so horrible for the fact that this person APPEARS to have put no effort into getting rid of you. I seen chickens receieve a better ending than that. So what ways do you think are horrible ways to go out? Let's hear some experiences and get the loads of crab dung off our chests.
  7. I thought I would give a go at this journaling thing. My friends do not partake in online dating and I don't really get feedback from anyone that does. Mostly my friends shake their heads and ask `why?' I've been out of a relationship since May '14 and without rehashing all that has transpired I will say that online dating has changed considerably in the past 3 years. I've taken several breaks, mostly after meeting men looking for casual sex and men who are too afraid to put themselves out there and seem to put me in the drivers seat to pursue them and breath life into the situation. Neither of which I am comfortable with. I am a young (as so I am told) 50 something yr old professional with a rich social life, so I am definitely not lonely. If I sense there is no momentum in a man that I meet I am quick to let it go seeing that I don't have a lot of free time and being with my friends is often a much better option. After my last fail .. well I can't really call it a failed attempt, maybe a valuable lesson with dating someone I mentioned here in previous posts, that I had dated earlier this year and he made a return visit in Oct. He is clearly not ready for a relationship but I am very taken by him and we have amazing chemistry. With that being said he is dating others and at some point these things run their course and I opted out, not wanting to be part of the `rotation' and finding myself engaging in an intimate relationship with someone I did not have a commitment with. Mind you this is the first time in my life I tried to do this and much like I already knew I am not cut out for it. He still texts once in a while and says he misses me, but it messes with my emotions so the more distance I get the better. I wish things were different . . but it is what it is. To keep my sanity during that time I continued to date others (not intimately) and the pace was wearing on me and creating all sorts of unneeded anxiety. During the holidays I pulled my profile but continued to communicate with one person who's schedule is opposite of mine for the time being so meeting was a challenge. During my time off during the holidays we met for breakfast and as much as I really didn't want to go, I was pleasantly surprised. Now 3 dates later my current challenge is to see if this man can open up and let me in. Apparently I make him very nervous and at times he shuts down. I tried dating someone like him sometime ago and I thought in time he might let me in. After several weeks I realized it was never going to happen. What I do like about my new friend is that he has some old school values much like mine, maybe a little more conservative. He noticed I pulled my profile (only for a break) and pulled his as well saying he typically only dates on person at a time to see where it goes. It's nice to not have to interpret someone's intentions and refreshing to know I am not part of someone rotation. We haven't so much as held hands yet which builds up that anticipation part that seems to be so fun and he's a good `dater'. I have met so many men who don't know how to date. .funny as that sounds, but true. I am enjoying this. He is showing me that he does have sense of humor and enjoys giving me a hard time (playfully) I am optimistic that there is someone that I am able to connect with behind the shyness. He has assured me that he is typically not this way and has promised to open up. I still have another friend I will see tonight. T and I have been dating for about 3 months now and as much as I like and I am attracted to him I just don't think we are relationship material. He's gone most weekends to see his son 8 hours away. He's so sweet and endearing but not very active, pretty much a couch kinda guy, very Christian and not much of a social drinker. (my social circle is!) He has a very naïve almost immature quality to him but I feel safe and cared for with him. I often wish I could see him as someone more than a friend but that certain quality is lacking. I don't see him often and have opted out a couple times lately, but I am looking forward to catching up tonight. So this it. . at least for now. I see my shy friend this weekend. M has invited me for a day trip to the local mountains and I am looking forward to it. For now my profile is down . .tomorrow who knows!?
  8. I have been in a relationship with the most wonderful man for the past 6 months. When I met him he had been separated from his ex for about 18 months. Neither of us were expecting it but when we met we just clicked from the start and decided to go with it. We’ve always been very open with each other. I was aware that it wasn’t long since his ex left him and always wanted to be sure that he was ready for something new so we have always talked about it. He asked me to be his girlfriend after a couple of months and our relationship has been incredible. We have met each other’s families, spent weekends away together and our relationship has been progressing well. He treats me really well, my friends think he is great and we are very well suited. He is also an incredibly loyal, genuine and nice person (in massive contrast to what I’ve been used to before!!). However, it seems he’s been having a bit of a wobble recently. He’s about to start a brand new job/career and he says that meeting me has urged him to sort his life out in that respect. He says that his life is a bit of a mess at the moment. I’ve also noticed that he’s been holding back a bit more whereas before he has always worn his heart on his sleeve. We had a long talk about it a couple of nights ago and he explained that although he is over his ex, he’s not yet fully over the hurt that the break up caused (she left him). And whilst he cares about me very deeply and even loves me, he has also been reflecting on why he has been more distant recently. He says that when he met me he had spent a lot of time healing and was just ready to start really enjoying being single but then I came along and he wasn’t expecting it or looking for it. Our relationship is very different to the one he had with his ex as he says he basically lived a single life alongside her. Whilst we are both very independent people, we enjoy spending time together which, in hindsight, maybe means the relationship has progressed quite quickly. He confided in a friend recently about how he was feeling, who asked him if maybe it was too soon and I think he’s been reflecting on this. It came as a bit of a shock to be honest as he’s always been so open with me I was surprised to realise that he had been feeling like this. I’ve asked him whether he wants to carry on and he says he absolutely does. That he is fully committed to this and wants us to continue enjoying getting to know each other and building on what we have. He says he doesn’t want to wreck the possibility of being with somebody who could be ‘the one’ just because he’s at a weird time in his life, and that he just wanted to be completely open with me. But at the same time he’s been worried that recently I’ve overtaken him with where we are in our relationship and that although he does see a future with me, he just wants to concentrate on the present for now. The funny thing is, since talking about it he has actually become more affectionate again. We saw each other again last night and I asked how he was. He said that since being completely open with me about everything, he actually feels closer to me and feels good about everything going forward but is worried that he may have pushed me away. I’m currently going through the motions of reflecting on all of this. It has made me worry...what if it is too soon for him?! Everything he has done has shown me that he very much cares for me and I really don’t want us to give up on this. But at the same time, I also don’t want to get hurt if he suddenly realises that he’s not ready. My gut is telling me to just slow it down and take it at his pace. But if I’m being honest it has made me feel more emotionally insecure around him. I have been hurt before and I don’t want to be in that position again. I guess I’m just trying to work out the best way forward so thoughts and comments would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post and thank you to anyone who had read this far!
  9. So this is an interesting story. I went on a forum last year because I was struggling with loneliness and depression. I just expected to talk to people and help them with their problems. What I didn't expect was to find a true friend! We became buddies over the course of our messages and we genuinely care about each other. I've even met him on Zoom so I know he's legit. He's the kind of person I know I can depend on even though we live in totally different states. Originally, he found me attractive. While I was flattered because I had never gotten male attention like that before, I knew I didn't feel the same way in return so we've just stayed friends. That hasn't changed for me, but I want to know, do you have a friend that finds you attractive but you don't feel the same about them? Are you still friends? And how do you deal with not reciprocating the feelings? Sometimes, I feel a little guilty, especially because he's a great person and I think he'd make a great partner. But I'm also glad I don't because I wouldn't want to lose my friend if a romantic relationship didn't work out.
  10. New to this forum but have actually read quite a lot on the ex back and NC topics. Long story very short... 6-year relationship, she's 19 years younger... call me a cradle-snatcher, but we really understood each other for most of those 6 years. Lived together for 2 years. I should have seen it coming as all the signs were there and she actually tried to tell me many times - only I didn’t (want to) hear it :-(. She moved away in March this year but we saw each other every couple of days and she’d spend at least one night of each week. 8 weeks ago she just called it quits. Was a very cold shower and total surprise. I was upset at first and didn’t talk to her for two days, then we texted some there and back. But she was suddenly a different person - cold, non-understanding, not willing to talk about anything. All the usual stuff that you read about that a dumper does after the fact. I called her once but all I got was a brick wall. Sent a long email asking for some explanation and if we could work it out. Not sure she even read it. As I suspected, there is also a guy at play that she has been seeing / flirting with (maybe) since April. Not sure I would call this a rebound but I believe at some point in June, she would be torn between the two of us - more inclining to the new guy (for all the obvious reasons). She did keep in irregular contact a few times a week after that - saying she wants to stay friends as she cares too much for me and I mean a lot in her life. Kept telling her I am not her friend because simply I feel more than that. I went and read tons of stuff (never really been dumped in my life, haha). Went NC 4 weeks ago. Immediately started doing stuff - I’m not short of hobbies - do lots of sports but added a gym and personal trainer to occupy the mind and tire the body. Been playing the piano and guitar a lot lately (after many many years), been playing computer games in the evenings, reading advice on this forum and elsewhere. She contacted me after 2 weeks, asking to see me, which I (a bit reluctantly) agreed to, I said I would bring her magazines that were delivered for her to our place. I was never mean to her, only a bit cold I’d say. We met at Starbucks and I was trying to be upbeat and not display any sense of urgency, pleading or anything. Tried to look real busy at work (which I actually am now). She didn’t say why she wanted to meet - maybe she didn’t feel the situation was good or maybe she just wanted to meet as buddies over coffee, don’t know… She acted a bit annoyed, especially later when she asked if I was going to come to our sports trainings and events and I said I didn’t plan to. She also seemed a bit pressed for time towards the end, though she said she had plenty. I am sure she went to see the other guy right after that and maybe didn’t want to keep him waiting. We parted ways with a hug. I wanted to kiss her like I used to but she just wanted a friendly kiss, which I said no to. So we just hugged a bit more and she left. I texted her later saying it was good to see her and she should stay in touch if she wants to. She texted back that obviously I can’t have contact with her now so it’s me who needs to stay in touch. I said maybe she could come over one night to watch our favourite TV show. She said she’d like that. I left it at that and went back to NC. She texted again a week later (yesterday actually), calling me my sweetheart name and saying that a new series of our favourite show would be screening next Monday. I replied (nicely) that I would definitely watch! And she said - “you definitely should”.
  11. My ex and I have sporadically kept in touch since we broke up in Dec. I officially broke up w/ him b/c our break-up was inevitable. He's moving to do his residency in NY (we lived in FL) and I asked him about out future and he told me he doesn't see us together and would not ask me to move w/ him. We had been dating a year at this point. he really wanted to remain friends, but I told him I needed time. he's kept in touch with me from overseas (he's been doing rotations in other countries and staying in NY for interviews) and now that he's back (3 mos later) he wants to hang out. I am not interested in him anymore- i've moved on, albeit still hurt. I feel okay w/o him, but probably b/c I accepted him leaving long before we broke up and I never got too close tp him-except towards the end both of us started to fall. I want to hang out w/ him b/c I do care for him deeply, but I'm afraid it might take me a few steps back. He's a great guy and fun to hang out with and he always wants me in his life. but I don't think that's healthy. i don't want to take steps back. He just wants to hang out as friends and I'd like that, but I don't know if I'm ready. right now, my feelings are closed off, but like has happened in the past, they might come rushing back when we see each other.
  12. My girlfriend and I have been together now for a little over 2 years. I can honestly say we have only really argued like 3 times in the past 2 years. Lately her best friend broke up with her b/f whom she had dated for about the same length as us. Well her friend started talking about how much fun it is being single again and my g/f wants to take a brek because of this. This is not the first time either, she also has another friend that cannot do much more than mess around with guys that has also tried persuaying her to "take a break" from me. How can I convince my g/f that its not a great idea? Also she seems to have a problem not knowing if other guys find her attractive, why this matters, i dont know, but I tell her all the time she is beautiful.
  13. This is my first post, but I've been reading the forum for a while, and I'd love to get some feedback. Background info- my b/f and I are both 29 and have been dating for 6 months. We met through a mutual friend, and slowly built up a friendship over 4-5 months, and then both admitted there was something more there and have been dating exclusively ever since. We have a lot of common interests- we both ski, run, camp, and just generally love the outdoors. We both have pretty demanding jobs but still manage to spend a lot of time together. I love this guy to death, but lately I have been at the end of my rope, because of one issue- his constant criticism and nitpicking. On big issues, he is awesome. He's faithful, loving, and a good guy. But he is constantly picking at me for little things. If I make dinner, he is appreciative, but also sure to offer some criticism of the meal. If I happen to be the one driving, he is constantly nitpicking (you should have gotten over sooner, you should have taken that other exit, it's faster, etc.) He even nitpicks about things that have NO effect on him- (why did you buy XXX brand of running shoes? They suck. Or, you talk to your mom 4 times a week? That's nuts.) Last night he came over (we don't live together) and I got a mini lecture because my ice cube trays were all empty!! I have tried, a few times, to talk to him about it, but he laughs it off. I have tried to tell him that it bothers me when he is picking at me, but he tells me that it isn't criticism, it's "support". The only time it really seems to sink in for him is when I said "What if when I came over to your house, I started making little comments about how you could do X and Y and Z better. Wouldn't that bother you?" He admitted that it would, but he does not seem to be able to stop. Some more background info- I was raised in a very loving household with parents that I am very close to. His dad, ironically, is a super critical person and my b/f has very limited contact with him as a result of this. I seriously don't know what to do about this- thank God I am a confidant person, or all this criticism would have made me loony! As it is, I am questioning the relationship. My family and friends are great and supportive about me and my life, and this is my first experience dealing with a situation like this. Can he stop? And what can I do to make him realize how much this is damaging our relationship?
  14. hello. there is this girl i like.. we both go to different schools.. but were good friends because were on track team together and from elementury. Ive known her since 6 but i started really likeing her in grade 7 or 8. Our parents are also good friends so weve gone on trips together. But its hard to tell if she likes me because sometimes ill go to sit next to her or something and shell just leave, but then other times shell ask/tell me that i should come do something with her. She laughs at most my jokes (i think there funny) and shes funny too. any help would be great. thanks.
  15. My bf gets jealous very easily and dislikes the fact that i have one gf and all the rest are guys. I don't like girls... i don't like how they are two faced and the conversation topics that they have. I LOVE my bestfriend with all my heart though she's great. However he really hates the fact that I'm still good friends with ALL my ex bf's as well and that I still hang out with them. 2 nights ago i called him and he asked me wat i was gunna do all day. i said well i might be going to brians to help him clean up his house that got trashed after the kegger. he got upset, so i told him i wouldn't go. Then on msn brian's name was thanks so much Phil And Sara u guys rock! he got REALLY upset (he was at his friends at the time) and discussed it with his friends. Hes like so wat did u do yesterday... i said nothing i stayed home. He said you're lyin to me now i saw ur name in his msn name. I was like yah it said Phil and Sara.... I have an H in my name. I think he believed me but his friends didn't quite. And I was telling the truth. Ne wayz it wasn't that big of a deal... but I still want to be able to hang out with my ex's and have my bf realize that i love him and that they're just old flames that won't reignite themselves. How can i reassure him?
  16. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and I told her about my general life and the rules that I've implemented, she inturn said that I am only building walls. She said "I think my rules will protect me but they are just the excuse to hide and shut out the rest of the world." Do I not have the right to protect myself? And is it not my right to chose the kind persons I want to have relationships with? How I see it, is I have a few standards and they have to be met, not all of them but most and my rules just narrow down my search. I honestly dont think I am shutting anyone out just the people to whom the rules apply. I do believe that there will be situations where my rules should be discarded but until then, they my life is governed by them. My friend argued that my soul mate may fall short by my standards or will I may never find anyone at all, to which I replied "I dont believe in one mate but a soul mate network. Instead of having just one perfect mate for you, there are many personalities that suit your character." If you think you've found your soul mate I'm happy for you but I've met at least four persons I could call soul mates and I'm not with any today. I just want to know, do anyone think its wrong to set a few guide lines about what you desire, do you believe its a way of masking my pain from the past?
  17. Okay, so this guy said that i "played" him...I understand now what that means. (I have cheated on him or have other guys than him) However, this is not the case. This guy and I aren't even a couple but we do have feelings for eachother that we both have expressed. I am just wondering why he would say something like that? I have a lot of older guy FIRENDS but they are just FRIENDS. How can say that I am "playing" him? What should I do? We have been talking for about six months and we both are pretty comfortable around eachother. We act like a couple all the time and we have even talked about it. Sorry guys I am just really confused..how can he go off and tell his friends I am a "player" and what should I do? Help!
  18. ok. at the moment. i am overwhelmed with so many different feelings that i want to just run. run until my legs give out. if any of you have read my past postings, you would know that i am meeting my biological mother in whom i have not heard from since i was 5. (adopted) so its been really hard preparing myself for this situation. im afraid that when i see/talk to her that memories will come flooding back to me. i don't know how to react or how not to react. im actually thinking of "leaving" on that day. which is a very negative thought because i have been trying to face my problems, and not run away from them. so... already. ive got pressure. i can't talk about it with my parents because they don't know she is coming. and i don't know what they will do. so yes, its hard. but we all know life isn't easy. last night was the hardest night. i haven't cried like that in a long time. a very long time. i also have testing going on right now. every morning for 3 hours for the next 4 days. so there is pressure. i have to pass in order to graduate. no problem, but yes... im stressing over that too. and lastly... today's issue. i almost burst into tears in my biology class when i found out. i held everything back, all i wanted to do was run out of there and just curl up in a ball because it just keeps getting worse. i found out that one of my good friends is in the hospital because she slit her wrists last night. i don't know how bad it is. she doesn't even know i know. and im afraid. im so afraid. i don't know what to do anymore. she hasn't done anything like this that i know of since last year. as far as i knew, we were both doing better, for the first time in awhile. i know that yesterday she was upset over her ex. i tried to be there for her but she said she didn't want to talk about it because she would freak out again. i know this sounds selfish towards her feelings but this is not what i need right now. This makes me feel like i am not being a good enough friend, it makes me feel lower than low. its all so overwhelming. she has done this before, but not near hospitilization. and she knows that i will freak out. i am freaking out. so im meeting my mother, i have a billion tests to take and my friend wants to die. i don't know how to deal with all of this. she has been so good to me lately. listening to my problems. and i have tried to be there for her, and we do talk about her stuff, its just that i usually have to drag it out of her and i don't want to feel like im pulling teeth. this sux. im getting a headache thinking of all of this again.
  19. Has anyone here ever made the tough decision of ending the current relationship to try things with the ex again. I have been going out with a girl for 9 months, sort of a LDR as i see her twice a week. I had no idea it was going to last this long and she was going to be an awesome person. I'll admit i was more into the sex thing at 1st then she grew on me and she truly is awesome. The problem is im still friends with my ex and i often think about her and how it could have been. Shes a great person also and now im split up between 2 awesome people. Most people its hard to find one good person nevermind 2. I been apart from my ex for almost 2 years. Has anyone ever made this tough decision or has advice. Is it normal to think about what if. I mean why do i think about what could be if i have something good now. I think the biggest mistake i made in this was to remain friends with my ex but now its too late to simply end our friendship and its not right to end it with my current gf to try things with my ex. let me know what you guys think.
  20. Here's my question. Is it better for your ex to tell you he needs a break from the relationship for a month or 2 and then to hear nothing from him still after a few weeks? Or if he says it's just not working out and I think we should be friends. Do people really take breaks from the one they love with N/C and then suddenly want to return to the relationship? Also the demeanor of the person who has done the breaking up. If that person has been different since.....in the words of his friends, "nervous and just not the same", is that a positive sign? Or if the "breaker" had really no intention of returning to the relationship, would he be as effected as if there was a possibility?
  21. hey, my father is in his 50's and has diabities... he is over weight, and when he was first diganosed he lost alot of weight, eat well, stoped drinking. Now lately this has all gone down hill.... he back to drinking, he rambles alot of nonsense in front of my friends... mom is clueless... i am just sick of it, and i feel like kocking him out! So first of all b4 i tell me he drinking again and the freak at each outher and me, is there any way i can talk to my father about this? and i don't think he should be drinking alot with diabities?
  22. This weekend a friend and i got drunk ... we are both males and are not gay... as far as we know we got really drunk and decided to go off in diffrent rooms and masterbate... one thing lead to another and we both end up giving each other blow jobs... does this make us what? we both have had girl friends in the past and never usally practice any of this after it was done we realized what we did we talked about it a little bit... and both said we would never speak of this again and coldn't believe what had just happened.... what do i do... now it is kinda of hard talking to him and kinda not are we gay bi or just drunk... doing dumb stuff? -Samsung
  23. I have recently broken up with my girlfriend I now wake up and observe who I have become, and I don't like it. I'm quieter, more stuck up, less friendly, less interesting. I prefer the person I used to be. I feel like she has drained the life out of me... Anywayz... here I awake, this much more quiet person, less sociable, feeling pretty much dead and lonely. So how do I become again who I was, the louder and amusing entertainer? I've lost touch with many friends and those I have not lost touch with are mostly too busy. So how do I make new friends again, get that feeling of being completely free and return to that lovable, seducing and charming person I used to be, who always had too many parties to go to at once, a plan or three for the night and would be the person you would call when you wanted to have some fun? I want to love myself again... -
  24. Do you fell pushing your ex to talk about his feelings pushes him further away? I could go on for days about what going on but its long. Have an ex who is 22 i am 25 we are having a baby. Boss wants him to date his daugheter tried getting them two together while we were dating. When we broke up ex told me about this. Mind swings back and for to we should be friend we should try and work things out, to back off, to i don;t think we could ever be friends. He says he care about me respects taht fact that I'm carring his baby. I hea things about him and ask him and he says he is not dating her or sleeping with her and then ask me why would he have to lie to me. He spend pleanty of time over there and at the bar with the 18 yr old daughter I don't really think reality has set in that I am pregnant and I think want him to talk about it or his feelings is pushing him away? Is that possible? Maybe a little time of not talking and if he would actually see that I am showing it would set in?
  25. Ok this is only what i think of the perfect relationship , after alot of experiences, i think there ought to be some ideas of the perfect relationship between any two lovers. First , when you get past the chemistry and the whole getting to know each other part , being really close friends is the best thing you can do and i mean that in the manner of FRIENDS like think of him/her as any normal close friend you go to when in vain or happiness Second , become best friends and make sure that both of you ARE . Third , I think any relationship is like a building that has 3 solid bases that consist of 1-Honesty 2-Respect 3-Love if any of these are missing or not stable , then you either got to fix it or back out and this is were the loyalty to one another shows up where both of you are willing to do whatever comes to mind to fix it up , and honestly ive rarely seen any of those. I wish everyone and myself good luck.
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