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dias

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dias last won the day on November 18 2018

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  1. I had my mid year review at work (although I've been at this company only 4,5 months). It went well, my manager is more satisfied with me than I am with myself. I am not satisfied with myself but I am doing my best, there is nothing more I can do. I am not qualified for the mid year bonus as I am too new. He complained because I didn't sell myself when I wrote my "achievements" in my review form. I was too lazy to write anything, I wrote three lines. He said: " if I didn't know you, based on what you wrote I would think you are just another employee who does his job and stops at 5pm. You need to write something more in your next review if you want the bonus. The bonus is the carrot, if you want that beach house in Greece you have to earn it". I laughed on the inside, for me it's more like a mega yacht in Monaco which as an employee I will never get. When he said the word carrot my facial expression must revealed what I was thinking. The job itself was the carrot for me but it was the carrot I dangled in front of me. Now, when somebody else is dangling the carrot, it's a different story, it does not motivate me. When someone else dangles the carrot it feels so wrong, it feels like you are a dog chasing the dangling bone of your master. Ain't my personality. So he continued: "or maybe you don't care about the bonus and you get satisfaction from the job". I told him my motivation is intrinsic. I asked him if I am what he expected. He replied "yes you are, I realized from the first 5 minutes talking to you that you have something special. I didn't hire you as a Senior Engineer because there are many things you have to learn and I am pushing you because I want you to improve and become a Senior Engineer in the next two years. We want you to stay at this company forever". It was quite a compliment I guess but when he said "forever" it was really hard to suppress my laughter lol. I have many things to learn, I know this better than he does, I know what I need to learn and improve, there are many many many many skills I need to improve, it's a process which never stops. I have dedicated my life to be the best I can be, bonuses no bonuses I don't really care. I want to start my own business, this is my childhood dream, at this point I am like a drug addict looking for his dose. The thought of staying an employee forever whether I make 50K or 500K is unbearable. It is simply not my destiny. I am very aware I don't have any talents. I know though I am very persistent, bold, I make all the sacrifices and I have the right attitude. These traits are way more significant than any talent and I can't waste myself doing a simple engineering job. It's not fair to myself. Besides I am not a very good engineer anyway since it's not my natural inclination. I have an idea I want to pursue which coincidentally is very relevant with my day job. So even if it fails I will still gain a lot of experience and better technical knowledge. First the cloud certificate though. Of course good (and difficult) things take years......
  2. https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/ https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G202172740
  3. I don't like this new house, the toilet is on the ground floor (I am on the first) and on the other side of the house which is pain in the butt because I drink a lot of water and pee quite often. During the night it is a big problem because I have to be careful in the staircase which means I have to turn the lights on, go to the other side of the house and then climb the stairs again. It messes up my sleep, I don't like it at all. Moreover, I live with two girls and I share the bathroom with one of them. She occupies the bathroom for ages... I live with two local girls, one is cool and we get along well and the other one is neutral, no issues so far. But I don't like the house, my room is located in front of the road and damn the traffic in this small town is worse than London (I am not kidding). I don't really like the town anyway, it's quaint for sure and it has some beautiful neighborhoods but in general I don't like it, not for any specific reason, I guess it's because I like cities by the sea so everything which does not fit this description is not for me. It seems though the company didn't want to pay for nice offices by the sea. Well, it gives high salaries which is better and I should not be complaining. We are not getting back to the office until mid January and this is not certain. I will go back to Athens for a month or two and once I come back I will need to find a new house and town. Before I do that I need to know if we will continue to work remotely indefinitely because if this is the case I will visit all the cities by the sea down south and move there. From the pictures I am think I will like Portsmouth. Or rent a cheap room to stay when necessary and travel the world. This is a very possible scenario too. Let's see though, let's not put the cart before the horse. The cloud certificate first.
  4. Thank you Reinvent and Jib 🙂 I am ok now, I had high fever for 3 days, I managed to bring it down a bit with double dose of paracetamol (pharmacist suggested so - 1000mg every 6 hours). The pain and swelling in the shoulder and under the armpit lasted a couple of days more but I am fine now.
  5. Second day with high fever (40 C)with the first jab. And I have to work.... Hopefully the second won't be worse although they say the second one has the most severe effects. I am only doing it because I have spent thousands on PCR tests and I can't travel or go anywhere.
  6. All I want is things to go smoothly at work for one day. Just one day. Every day problems emerge out of nowhere. It's the most intense job I have ever had. I have to do the daily tasks + the training for the cloud (with more tasks). I am trying to balance my time between multiple projects and I feel I am not finishing anything properly. And when I finally manage to finish something there is another task waiting which will give me a headache. Very long hours every day...... In a bizarre way I am satisfied with the job but yeah I could do with less hours.
  7. There are some strange people out there.
  8. It's funny, most guys love cars, I feel the same way for yachts. I don't get what is so awesome about cars, some are faster or cooler but who cares. On the other hand when you see a yacht, man, that is a delight for the eyes. Fast cars and bullsh*t, nothing compared to cruising around the world with a yacht. Waking up, enjoying the sunrise and the serenity of the dawn whilst drinking your coffee. Come onnnnnnnnn this is the real deal. And with the real estate bubble around the world it's the best alternative. Even the docks are awesome. With so many people working remotely I am surprised not everyone is doing it. I don't get it. Let alone how awesome parties you can throw if you are this kind of person. You can move around, never settle, see the world, work remotely, make interesting Youtube videos, it's even better chick magnet than cars. Well, I will definitely make the first step.
  9. This cloud certificate for data engineers is getting on my nerves, I didn't expect to be so difficult, I studied a lot the last 3 months for this and I took a sample test and got 20 out of 100, horrible. It's a lot more difficult than I expected. I will get there though, as long as it takes. Not many people have it and I will be pretty marketable once I get it + obtain the practical experience through work (which is a pain in the ass lately, I am very busy but not productive, I get stuck in problems and I don't finish tasks). Anyway, it's not the first time I am facing this kind of situation where everything is new and I don't know anything. The key is to keep swimming regardless and whatever happens happens. I need to get this freaking certificate and 3-4 years of experience. Then I will start working (remotely) contract jobs that pay 500 pounds per day. Or maybe get a job in Switzerland that pays sh*tload of money. Many doors would open after this. I can't wait for a big yacht. I need something more tangible in the foreseeable future. With contract jobs I could afford a yacht like this. I was thinking about going to Las Vegas and spend the house deposit there but damn look at this boat. With only 270K dollars. Definitely I will buy something like this instead of a house. Yes I can see it happening, working on the yacht, enjoying the sun, the sea and a delicious iced cappuccino. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Only 5 years of dedication and sacrifices between the dream and my current situation.
  10. Sure it's debatable and a very broad subject. How do we define emotional? Because there are many angles on how you define someone as emotional person. Like men don't cry kind of thing? I cried when my grandmother died, does it make me emotional? dunno, maybe yes maybe no. No if you ask me. I was thinking more about facing difficult and unpredictable situations, I believe from what I have observed that women tend to be more emotional in situations like these. That is of course in general, I have seen women who are more rational than robots but in a different context, like in relationships between people. But I am saying in general, as in the majority. We can find countless scenarios which could support our opinions, I don't know what is true in reality, I base my opinion on what I have seen. Moreover, we all are emotional and rational beings, so it's about quantifying how much more or less emotional men or women are. Which we will never find out apparently 🙂 Maybe, I like crazy women but I am crazy myself on the other hand lol Good for you both 🙂
  11. I wouldn't classify hormones as good or bad. There are many hormones and each one of them serves a purpose. Testo is one of the most important hormones for men, if helps you function properly and it improves your general well-being. Women are more emotional indeed, that's biology, there is a reason for that. I assume the reason is because they give birth and raise children, you have to be somewhat emotional to raise kids, you can't be like a robot, you have to show love and care towards the child, these are emotions. Even from a practical standpoint, there must be a reason why men find "crazy" women attractive, the crazier the better lol. I haven't heard a guy saying "Oh man, this gal is so rational, it makes her so hot" lol There is a purpose for everything.
  12. What do you mean by hormonal?
  13. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323085#typical-testosterone-levels I got tested, I got 910, not bad for a natural. Ha, it could explain a few things. I would like to see if there is a correlation between testosterone levels and the type of woman you like, it would be an interesting survey. I am surprised though, with such high levels of testosterone I shouldn't be like a horny caveman 24/7? But I have a normal sex-drive. And the periods I am dedicated to work or stressed about work it declines a lot. Testosterone has an impact on many levels. Muscle mass, ability to focus, tendency to risk more etc It could explain my boldness (or part of it) but it wouldn't explain why I am not putting on muscle mass or that I don't have super high sex drive.
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