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  1. Hi all, I will try and keep this short as possible. As some of you may have read before I’ve been having some issues with my marriage, mainly intimacy issues. Through one thing or another we are both giving it time but there is still zero intimacy between us, nothing at all. No kissing, cuddling, not even holding hands as this is my wife’s request and I’m trying to respect her wishes. Me on the other hand, I’m trying my best and being patient although I am still very attracted to my wife in every way but I’m finding other ways to channel my urges and it works some of the time other times
  2. Hi I'm new here I've been married for 18/years to a wonderful man. He enjoys porn from time to time and I recently discovered that this stems from his young adult hood. Before I discovered his habits I caught him a couple of times and I forgive him but I didn't know the full extent until he came clean . He says he's not addicted because he doesn't watch it daily but he enjoys it . Our sex life hasn't been the greatest but in recent light I discovered our relationship was lacking intimacy so the time to recent seems right. I expressed my feelings that porn makes me feel like I'm not enough and
  3. It's so embarrassing to have a 100% failure rate in romance at 50. I'm the guy who everybody loves, but "not in that way." Except for dozens of one-night-stands, I have lived a life without sex or intimacy. Especially difficult, as my folks celebrate 50th wedding anniversary, to acknowledge 50 years without a relationship. I yearn for anything, but try not to seem needy. Women can somehow sense this and, while being kind, offer no clues for me to alleviate my predicament. Now I am confused about whether to prepare myself (I don't wanna be bitter) for the likelihood of never finding love
  4. Ever since the lockdowns dude to the pandemic, I haven’t been able to meet my boyfriend. But we used to be quite excited and intimate He used to ask for n*des , we used to indulge in virtual s*x and it was all fine. Until he started demanding for it on every video call we ever made... He realised that this was making me uncomfortable so , we stopped video calling... it’s been around 3 months to the lockdown now (background: he needs to be attempting an exam(backlog) but suddenly the government announced new parameters according to which he wasn’t eligible, it’s different that the news was
  5. Hi all, I suffer from clinical depression, and have done for many years. I also suffer from other health problems, such a chronic facial pain etc. I have been shielding due to COVID-19 at the advice of my GP. I am having serious problems with someone who wants/wanted a romantic relationship with me. I was wondering if someone could kindly offer me some advice? I will sum things up as follows: I met a lady a few months ago through a book that she authored. We made contact via Facebook, and later met for a coffee. The lady in question is 20 years older than me, and not usually th
  6. Hi folks. I have been "dating" a man from high school for 6 months. I'm in my mid-fifties. In that time we have spent ALOT of time together because we have similar interests. I have grown to love him and I tell him often. He tells me that he loves me too. The relationship is progressing at a very slow pace which is ok but he seldom shows any affection towards me. I want to kiss him he pulls away. If I touch him in a way that could lead to intimacy he questions my motives and pulls away. He won't let me touch him! He seldom touches me. When I question him about it he twists things in such a way
  7. Hi all And I can understand why you are thinking “YES PHONE SEX IS CHEATING” But hear me out I have been in a long distance relationship for 7 years, I have been loyal to the core to my boyfriend now fiancé. I don’t club, or go to bars or even have many guys friends I never put myself in situations where I flirt or do anything to harm the sanctity of our relationship However my fiancé has never been emotionally or physically present, or available to my needs. Not once in our 7 years has he given me any physical pleasure in the bedroom and I haven’t complained once about it- yet
  8. I’ve been in a relationship for 9 months now but I still don’t feel like I’m in love or falling in love with my boyfriend. Our conversations don’t go very deep it’s usually just about family and friends and their lives. I love having deep conversations and I want to be able to talk to the person until the cows come home. The thing is the guy is such a decent guy and he will do anything for me. He even took me to Paris for my birthday, he holds the car door open for me and is such a gentleman but I just can’t bring myself to love him. Our relationship also lacks intimacy..I don’t want to hurt h
  9. So me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year now and we get along pretty well, but she’s been getting these sadness streaks and when I ask her about them she says it’s because we don’t have enough intimacy in our relationship. While I’ve tried to fix this problem she’s right and we do have a intimacy problem. Well the other night she got a new phone and she left her old one on the dresser and I saw it going off with a message from a man she works with. While I wouldn’t normally pry it was around 1 am and that bothered me. So I pick up her phone and look at the message and the previous m
  10. Hi all, I’m 25(M) and she is 24(F). To cut to the chase, I dated a girl for about 13 months. During this time, we developed a deep love and care for each other, but ultimately ended things *somewhat* mutually (I initiated it) predominately due to the fact that she refused to open up with me and connect as she was afraid to (both because of her holding on to and amplifying our past conflicts, in addition to her overall announcing that she has commitment issues). She still cares for me very much, and vice versa as does her whole family. I have ALWAYS blocked my exes on everything, but in this
  11. Hello! I am 21 right now, soon turning 22. I have been dating this guy almost a year, but things have been bad lately. What I mean by lately–almost 6 months. At the beginning it was great as always, I was madly in love, he treated me and cared for me. Made breakfast, cuddled with me in the mornings, also he was very happy and positive. But now, I don't even recognize him. Our relationship is night and day when comparing to the beginning. He is being mean to me, criticizing almost everything I do. He never cuddles with me, instead he is on his phone the whole morning. Also, I feel that
  12. My live in boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We have two boys together ages 3 and 1.5 who both have special needs. My bf and I used to be so in love with each other. He was my best friend. Over time things have changed and we now live two very separate lives with lots of secrets. We’ve broken up more times than I can count with the longest being two weeks. I truly do love him but I also recognize that he’s not the person I fell in love with and I can’t stop longing for the person he once was. He has told me on numerous occasions that that person is gone and never coming back.
  13. This is more of rant/acceptance of my relationship situation. I been in a toxic relationship for a while, and I was kind of aware of it, but too stubborn and afraid to walk out of it. I (F, 30s) been married for 5 years, this was the first serious relationship I had and we have known each other for a long time. The mistake was I went into this marriage without really knowing what I want, I did it because of love. I have childhood trauma, a bit of low self esteem and an introvert, but I didn't want any of those to impact me. I'm generally a positive person, I guess that's what attracted my
  14. Greetings Enotaloners, It's been a little while since I sought advice here. In my usual style, this will likely be long and rambling. Also, a warning, this post is at times frank and explicit. My girlfriend and I moved in together two weeks ago after just shy of a year of dating. While it hasn't been the smoothest transition, with some pre-existing issues around communication being amplified in the process of moving and intergrating our lives, I believe we have settled down a bit and we are slowly getting into the groove. However, I am experiencing a sudden loss of sex drive following a
  15. Hello all, I am a 29-year-old girl currently living in Italy. I have been dating this guy for more than 2 months and he invited to a family lunch with parents and grandparent in his city which was very far from ours. He is so nice and all but the problem is I think he is going so fast and I can't keep up with his pace. I have this feeling if he gets tired of me soon and I have some intimacy issue because of my constant fear of getting dumped, as a result, I am always the first one who breaks up and this time is the same. but he looks so nice and charming. despite all these facts, I have hea
  16. As stated on a previous post, I spent basically 14 years with my partner. It was a rerelationship with ups and downs like any other, and one thing I've learned is that a relationship takes 50% of love, 50% of compromise, communication, dedication, etc. One thing was a bit upsetting: the lack of sex drive from his part on the last few years. After long conversations with many of my male friends, they all confessed having lost all sex drive for their gfs although they loved their gfs with all their heart and didn't even considered breaking up or cheating on them because of that. I was shoc
  17. We were together for three years. lived in a rented house past year and a half. He started to not want intimacy and then it went down to no kissing or touching at all. He dropped the bombshell last night that he does not love me anymore and wants to leave me. He then went on a four day work trip this morning. My parents picked me up and all my stuff and moved me out. I blocked his number, facebook, everything. He will return home to find me and my stuff gone He was adament that there was no hope for me. I feel disgusting about myself like I was not good enough for him to love me anymore
  18. Hi everyone…something I’ve been wondering FOR YEARS, and have never found a normal answer for it, therefore, I keep making the same mistakes- so I would love your input !! I’ve read a lot of cool (and rational) articles about dating and sometimes they emphasize the importance of letting your man know that he’s wonderful, amazing, thanking him for small things etc.. but then again, I end up feeling a little bit like a doormat (happened with a few guys)- my ex said that it seemed that I don’t have high self worth, I didn’t “inspire” him to be the best version of himself (and he was the insecure
  19. I was involved with this emotionally unavailable man/player for well over a year. I finally cut him off on New Years Day. I was so caught up in him for so long I was in denial to the fact that he never cared about me. He never wanted a relationship. He made me feel worthless. Every time I would tell him " I can't do this because you can't give me what I want" he would continue to do things to keep me on a string. Every time I attempted to tell him how I felt he would brush me off and call me miserable. He never did anything for me. The sexual part completely lacked real intimacy. No dates. Yet
  20. I have been dating a wonderful man for the last 10 months. I am his first serious relationship (but my his only partner) since his divorce four years ago. He is 30, I am 25. I have little experience with relationships in the past, mostly because I wasn't going to settle for something less than what I wanted and felt I deserved--just a good man who loved me for who I was and who I could love for himself. I believe I have found that with him, and feel very lucky to be with such a great person. His marriage ended badly, with his ex cheating and playing mind games. It was ugly, from what I und
  21. Wasn't sure where to put this.... Rather than get too specific on my particular issue(s) regarding friends because I'm still trying to sift through them... I'm wondering if any of you who grew up in abusive households and are aware of intimacy issues have noticed any patterns or repeated problems in friendships? Would you mind sharing or discussing? Examples: cutting and running on friends, obsessing over your worthiness as a person as a result of friends rejecting you, obsessing over your part in toxic friendships, feeling down on yourself because you tend to attract people who aren'
  22. PREFACE: I masturbate very nearly every day. Rarely, I'll masturbate twice. Sometimes I don't masturbate at all, if I'm not feeling it. That's been my MO for ~17 years with no ill effects. PRE-POST POST-PREFACE: I have, until just recently viewed porn on a fairly consistent basis. My wife and I have had/are having some difficulties with the intimacy/sexuality aspect of our relationship for a long time (>5 years). We average, at the best estimate, about once every 1.5-2 months (sex) and cuddle at, maybe, around the same frequency. In the past 5 years, I can count the number of times sh
  23. Hi, I'm working on building my self esteem after an epiphany that I invested far too much energy into abusive relationships in the past. I had a crappy childhood, have real abandonment issues, I wouldn't recognise genuine interest or love as I never received it as a child. I get used in relationships and the last one has really put me off big time. I fear intimacy and don't trust my instincts when it comes to men who show interest in me. I don't feel lovable or valuable even though I know I should and that I have many good qualities. I pursue relationships with men who reinforce my fee
  24. So, first timer here. Not even sure if this is an appropriate place to post thoughts and feelings around lack of Intimacy in my marriage but had to try because I'm feeling so hopeless lately. Been together with my husband six years married five and for the first year or two was great then things completely changed. Not so much complaining about the lack of sex per se, although I miss it terribly, but the lack of intimacy is slowly killing me. I am a naturally a very affectionate person. I'm a giver in many and all ways and although my husband is completely aware of my sadness he does little to
  25. So I'm dating this girl that I really care about, and I want to be with, but lately we've been less and less intimate and it weighs on me. For the first 2 months of our relationship we would be together all the time, at least 3 or 4 times per week. But for the past 3 months or so it has been more like 2 or 3 times per month. She says that she's just been feeling a little depressed with moving to a new city and not knowing people, and she also works a lot which doesn't help. Not being intimate really affects my self confidence, it makes me jealous, and overall just makes me feel really unattrac
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