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About Me

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  1. Looking for advice but also needing to vent and let out some of the hurt. My bf and I are going on 3 years together, we're both 30. We haven't been truly intimate in almost a year. I'm open with him about how it hurts me and how I don't feel like he's still attracted to me even though he says he is. I try to initiate intimacy but it gets met with changing the subject, moving away from me, putting focus on something in the room like the TV or the dog, making jokes. I've lost track of how many times we've fought over it and I end up depressed, feeling worse while he makes empty promises that he'll make an effort to try more. But he never does. Then yesterday he told me he has a p**n addiction and he thinks it's easier to handle himself that way than to actually involve me in it. Ouch. I don't have an issue with him watching it, hell, I watch it, but my heart hurts that he would rather do that than to make an effort with me. And he didn't seem bothered to tell me. (I'd also like to point out that during past intimate moments I'm very involved so it's not like I'm asking for an arm or a leg). He tells me often that I'm his soul mate and he would do anything for me but this issue is still so prevalent and no action actually gets taken to work on it. It's like all the effort that gets put into avoiding it could be put into actually working on it...ugh. I hate to admit it but I consider cheating on him a lot, but I know that I just want the feeling of being wanted by someone and it wouldn't be anything of substance... but I really want that feeling again... Idk I feel like I'm losing it and wanting to throw in the towel. Intimacy isn't everything in a relationship and I understand that but it's one of the ways I enjoy connecting with my partner and I thought he did too and it wasn't an issue before. I know addiction isn't personal but I can't help but feel self conscious... is it my body? My hair? Do I smell bad? Is my conversation a turn off? Really does have me looking in the mirror different... thanks cardi. Any advice for this hurting person? Anyone been through something similar? 💔😔
  2. First of all i think I'll have to give a warning because this might be a heavy subject for someone. Hello everyone! Me and my bf are dating for one year (long distance) , everything was fine until yesterday. He came to my hometown to see me and everytime we see each other we have sexual intercourse. Yesterday I wasn't really feeling it, he gave me the signal that he wants to do something and I said "I'm not im the mood today" he said "okay" and after 5-10 minutes he started touching me even when i clearly stated that i didn't want to do anything sexual with him. He was grabbing me inappropriately and I just froze and didn't say anything at that very moment (that was my fault). He didn't go any further than that but it still felt wrong. After he went back home he started texting me and "joking" about how I didn't give him what he wanted, even if it really was a joke I was offended (he's that kind of guy that almost jokes about everything) I confronted him about it and told him that what he did was wrong. He told me that he didn't know that I felt that way and said that he was very sorry that he hurt me in that way, and that he'll never do that ever again. One part of me wants to forgive him because I still love him but the other part is still confused about the situation that happened. I really don't know how to feel right now, if anyone has advice i would be very happy to hear about it.
  3. You Stole From Me -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am starting to remember through flashes and feelings. I see your face, I hear your words, I see your hands and I can feel the pain. You took from me, and I can't get it back. You stole my childhood, you destroyed my innocence. You who was supposed to protect me, to help raise me. Instead you abused me, you used me for your pleasure not caring that I was too young, not carrying that I had no voice, disregarding the damage you would cause. The worst of it is not only did you take my innocence but you stole my ability to trust, you ruined intimacy for me, you have left me unable to fully give. I have lived cloaked in this shame, consumed with self hate. Every good thing I have had your deeds have ruined... You stole from me and I want it back.
  4. Is it my fault that I don't feel love? Is it my fault that I feel neglected? Is it my fault that I need quality time? Is it my fault that I I receive none? I long for the connection. I long for the closeness. I long for the intimacy. Will there be one? What is the point of glory? What is the point of success? What is the point of fulfilment? When there is no one to share them with. You left to seek for your own life. You left to seek for your career. You left to seek for your dreams. Your coldness was towards extreme. I wish you happiness despite all...
  5. In the movie the Runaway Bride, Richard Gere's character, a reporter, does a story on Julia Robert's character, a small town woman who has left the altar about 4 times and is known as the title suggests. In his investigation as to "why" he not only falls in love with her but discovers one key fact. None of the approximately 4 men Julia ran from knew what kind of eggs she liked at breakfast. On the continuum of intimacy, how important is it to you that your partner know the minute details about your likes and dislikes, the minutae of your daily routine and mention them in a way that makes you feel important/special or just acknowledged? Importance is a relative term of course but I'll give you an example. I have seen many posts on this board about the importance of "deep" conversations to intimacy, about the importance of grand romantic statements of love, devotion, "above all others" and the like. Obviously those are important too. But in your daily life, does one type of communication make you feel closer to/bonded with your partner than the other?
  6. So I have been dating this girl for about 3 months now and due to the fact we both have busy schedules and she has her daughter every other weekend we have only had sex 3 times. Of course this is bugging me a little; I thought early on she just was getting used to us as a couple, now I am starting to get that relationship anxiety because I feel something is wrong. All my X's seemed to enjoy sex as much as I do, this has never been an issue until this last GF. Of course she is the oldest I have dated yet, she’s 33 and I'm 30, she told me she had her first orgasm in her life only 2 years ago. And yes, each time we had sex I gave her one, unless she was faking of course. She has had a lot of bad relationships in regards to passive aggressive emotional abuse. She is herself very passive sharing her emotions. Our physical intimacy is somewhat the same, she rarely makes an attempt of physical contact except for a kiss or putting her hand on my leg once in a while, not like you would think starting out a new relationship. What I have noticed is if the stars align perfectly and she’s in a great mood, she can be very emotional and very physical. But I still have to instigate things for the most part. She did tell me about 3 weeks into the relationship her past BF's mentioned that she was not very affectionate. Her sexual energy is greatly affected by her stress levels and mood, I know this is more common for women, but she seems a bit extreme. I know without a doubt she is very different to say the least as I have dated enough women to know she’s a bit distant with her intimacy. It just very frustrating because the wonderful passion you get with a relationship in beginning, the stuff that fades over time, isn't really there for the most part. It's like we are past the stage, but we never got to enjoy it. Otherwise the relationship is great, we talk a lot, we go out when we have time, and her daughter is wonderful and always wants me around. My GF tells me how lucky she is to have me. Just curious on any thoughts.
  7. I don't know what I'm trying to say so I will ramble for a bit. I just got out of a relationship with a man that has a massive wall around his heart. He avoids intimacy, he using lots of different vices to avoid really being known/loved. I am finally noticing in myself how much work I have done on myself to remove these walls in my life. I tell the truth even when it's hard. I don't pretend to be ok when I am not, etc.. What I'm asking is : Why do people barricade themselves in? I know it's a protective measure. But when there is a genuine person trying to love you why throw up the walls? Is it fear of beng known? Is it not being comfortable with oneself ? When I think of someone really knowing and loving me it's scary but I am willing to experience it. Why would someone be threated by intimacy? The energy I get from him is fearful and running away from himself. What leads people to do this instead of going into themselves? What is risked by getting to know yourself? He acted like intimacy was life threatening, why?
  8. Question for the girls, where do you draw the line for physical intimacy? How do you communicate the line? When do you feel comfort levels are? What are the largest hurdles?
  9. I just realized that putting my fingers through a woman's hair is the easiest way for me to show intimacy and body language. I'm speaking in the context of me saying something like "you're hair looks better this way or I like what you did with your hair." I think that move works great and natural for me as I've picked up a few girls doing that. How do you ladies feel about someone touching your hair in that sort of matter?
  10. k-mango

    No "O"

    Ok my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we are the only people that we have been with sexually. He doesn't know it, but he has never given me an orgasm..EVER. We have tried various positions, oral sex, and other forms of intimacy but nothing works. Is it possible that I am physically unable to have an orgasm from sex, or is it psychological? I have had an orgasm before but it was through masturbation...not sex. I have no idea what to do about this because I love this man with all of my heart and I have never cheated on him, but part of my brain is wondering if maybe it's that I can't have one with him specifically. I don't want to leave this man and want our relationship to continue but not being sexually satisfied for 9 years is starting to take a toll on me. I feel as if I'm missing out on one of life's greatest pleasures and I can't stand it. Please help me.
  11. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 days oficial,and a month before that passed in flirting,getting to know each other and hot hidden sessions of making out and stuff.The problem is that I love kissing,making out and all intimate stuff you can think of.And I start realizing that maybe I just like that too much.My bf doesn't kiss me as often as I'd like to and we've had maximum 4 sessions of real making out.Sometimes when I kiss him,he pulls away in a teasing way and that just kills my desire for intimacy with him.I know he likes it,but it seems my needs are just too much for him to be able to satisfy me.Also,we don't get anywhere further this stage which at times causes me to think of even dumping him,as I start thinking how much I enjoyed dry humping with my ex.I'm not sure why I feel this way,I've tried dry sex,fingering,receiving and giving oral and maybe everything except vaginal intercouse...so I guess that makes me a virgin? But then virgins don't have this big need of sexual intimacy and stuff,or am I wrong? Just want to hear your opinion.
  12. Rather than focus only on the relationship at hand I now want to see if I can figure out where on earth I am going wrong. I am seeing some patterns emerging that I really don't like. I was browsing through some other posts and I think perhaps one lesson is that I start off my relationships highly independent..and whlilst I never ever lose my interests outside of the relationship I'm beginning to wonder perhaps at the point when my partner complains about me not devoting enough energy/time/emotions into the relationship..I take this SO much on board that I become emotionally dependant and can't figure out how to roll it back! My current relationship -it was PERFECT for 2 months.More than perfect. The love, the affection, the communication. The messages I get from my boyfriend seem sometimes conflicted. Whether it's about plans, an issue in the relationship, or whatever it be. I now feel like our relationship is like that of a couple together at least 4/5 maybe even 10 years as opposed to 5 months. He regularly takes 6-10 hours to respond to my messages if at all. We don't have our long conversations about whatever the topic may be like we used to and I feel like he almost always has 10 things to do before we can have some proper intimacy. (Ie more than a little kiss on the lips but even just a bit of cudding up together is wonderfull!). I've returned to a point I once knew before in my life of questioning myself. Am I being reasonable, fair etc or not? I'm consntantly thinking about it and can't stop. And no I'm not as happy as I'd like to be. I was supposed to move in with him someone soon and had to break it to him yesterday that I'm not feeling as sure as I'd like about this. He told me he doesn't understand what the problem is, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do and he didn't realise things weren't good. (Despite having had 2 or 3 other major conversations like this this month). I'm highly confused and feeling at my wits end to be going back over stuff I thought I'd left in the past with my last relationship. PLease give me some tips as regards to this relationship and particularly as regards to where on earth I might be going wrong in general!!
  13. About a year ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years because I no longer felt attracted to him and wanted to see other people. Because of this and money issues, I transferred from the college in that town (small liberal arts school, very small town) to a larger university where many of my friends from high school are still attending college. Shortly after that, I met a wonderful man and we have been together ever since. Our relationship is fairly serious, with many conversations about the future, marriage, kids, etc. Problem is that a few weeks ago he left for graduate school on the other side of the country. We have the same cell phone company so calling each other is free, though the three-hour time difference and class schedules only allow us to talk during early evening hours. We will only see each other at christmas, spring break, and then next summer I am planning on attending graduate school near him so we will likely be together again. So, only twice until next June, with three-month gaps in between. Now I am faced with my senior year with some of my good friends from high school but without anyone to kiss, hold me, go out on dates with, etc. Add to this men I admired in high school are also taking classes here and showing me attention now that I am here attending this university. I really love my boyfriend but I'm afraid that the desire for physical attention and the jealousy of friends who are able to have it is going to create resentment and I will let it build up until it causes a big fight. I cannot and will not go behind his back to have physical attention, but I can see the desire to do it driving me crazy if things keep going the way they are. I know that no one can compare to how he makes me feel and he is the most talented person I have had in my bed, that I would never have these feelings of desire for other people if he was still here, and that I want to be with him next summer and for the rest of my life. There should never be a time that we are separated like this for so long again so this would be the only time it is going to happen. Is it reasonable for me to want to take a break from being monogamous while he is so far away while still having the intention of being with him after I graduate? He has never slept with anyone before me and this is his first serious relationship, so I have no idea how he would react to this. Has anyone else done this with success at having the relationship survive after coming back together? I don't want to lose him over this but I also don't want my sex drive to push us apart.
  14. What do you consider Intimacy? How do you pursue it in your relationship? How do you maintain it over the long term? How do you deal with someone who isn't ready or doesn't know how to communicate their feelings? Is Intimacy important to you? Is it important to your partner? What have you done to stay connected to your partner over the long term?
  15. OK. There's this girl, call her K-. (That's always how it begins, isn't it?) We've known each other since late 2002, became better friends in late 2003, and although I was somewhat attracted to her from the start, it wasn't enough for me invest too much of myself and make a total doofus out of myself. Over the past few years, we managed to maintain contact and continued to hang out sometimes, although my going to school in Canada made it hard to see each other during the school year. With all of the mental angst that I've gone through with other subjects, I find myself thinking often about the people I have the best personal connections with, and I really have to say that I have never in my life connected on so deep a level with a girl than I have with K-. Combine this with the attraction that I feel for her and it turns out that I really feel like I'm in love with her. I know I'm only twenty years old, but I have been around the block emotionally, I know what lust feels like and what love feels like. So this evening, I get a message over Facebook from K-'s best friend (whom I've never met), saying "K- thinks u r a XY MO FO!!!!" [sic] I'm confused as to whether or not it's a joke -- I wouldn't have put it past either K- or her friend, from what K-'s told me of her -- but it seems logical that K- would've had to speak highly of me to her friend for that joke to occur in the first place. Turns out it is a joke, though her friend mentions that she wishes K- "would run off and marry [me] instead of the random jerks she usually dates." Then, of course, comes the bad news. The high praise that K- speaks of me is "A sweet boy" and "Like a brother" -- in her friend's estimation, "not generally good signals for a BF." Part of me -- OK, all of me -- really wants to believe that since K-'s friend thinks K- and I are such a good match, HAVING NEVER MET ME, that's got to say something about my chances. On the other hand, I can also understand why K- might have misgivings about being more than friends with me, because I don't want to take advantage of her. I'm not exactly sexually active -- I'm still a virgin, by a LONG SHOT -- and I've been much more active in cultivating emotional intimacy with her. Then again, the year I was getting to know her, I was so incredibly confused by questions of emotional intimacy that it's hardly surprising that that's all that came out of it. Whew, that felt good. Now, thoughts, anyone?
  16. Just spent the afternoon outside reading Elliot Aronson's, The Social Animal, and I would like to preface this thread by stating that the book is a brilliant masterpiece, and that Aronson is truly a genius. Well here are a few excerpts that I found to be especially profound and resonant of true wisdom: In an open, honest, authentic relationship, one in which people are able to share their true feelings and impressions (even their negative ones), there is a continuous zigzagging of sentiment around a point of relatively high mutual regard... thereforeeee an exchange of intimate and important aspects of oneself -both positive and negative- is beneficial for the development of close relationships. That is, all other things being equal, we like a person better after we have disclosed something important about ourselves-even if it is unsavory. In addition, studies of people in close relations indicate that we tend to like other people better when they honor us by revealing something intimate and negative about themselves. As a relationship moves toward greater intimacy, what becomes increasingly important is authenticity- our ability to give up trying to make a good impression and begin to reveal things about ourselves that are honest, even if unsavory. In addition, authenticity implies a willingness to communicate a wide range of interpersonal feelings to our friends and loved ones, under appropriate circumstances and in ways that reflect our caring. Thus, if two people are genuinely fond of each other, they will have a more satisfying and exciting relationship over a longer period of time if they are able to express both positive and negative feelings about each other as well as about themselves. I think this man is onto something here, does anyone else have any thoughts or opinions on this?
  17. Hello, for some odd reason I seem to keep attracting the same type of guy. I have even made a guy wait for a very long time before intimacy, it still turns out the same. I am unsure if there is something I am doing, I have never figured out men, or the relationship thing. I think when that ability was passed out I must have been sleep or something. Need advice really bad, especially from men. I am sweet, and strong, I am told I have all the qualities a man could want, yet, I am always getting the short end of the stick...
  18. I am a 22 year old woman and a virgin. This isnt really through choice. I was over weight all through my childhood and teens which left me with no confidence. I also had a violent relationship with my dad who was an alcoholic and later killed himself and was also abducted 5 years ago by a stranger (male) who tied me up and taunted me with threats of rape, although this never actually took place. I think bad experiences with men in my life - my dad and my attacker etc - left me terrifed of getting close to any man. I lost a lot of weight 2 years ago, my confidence soared and I do get attention from men but something always holds me back. I guess a fear of intimacy or something. I would love to be in a healthy happy relationship and have kids one day but the whole prospect of it seems something that I could never do. None of my friends know I am a virgin and I could never tell them now as I have lied all this time. I also don't know how I could tell any man. Any advice on how I could get over this fear of trust/intimacy would be greatly appreciated as it is really getting me down. Thanks
  19. Hi Everyone. I need some opinions....My ex left me about 3 weeks ago. He wanted to just end it period. But after some thinking he said he didn't want to just throw it away. So right now we are friends, seeing what could happen. He also asked for his space, so I don't call him much anymore. But why does he say he needs space, and then calls me everyday maybe even a few times a day just to say hi or to see how my day is going? Then he still asks me to hang out. And this is what I really don't understand. When we hang out he still holds my hand, kisses me, and sometimes we both engage in intimacy. He never forces it though, so i don't really think im a booty call. But what does that mean??? He says he feels comfortable around me, and he will always have feelings for me, but not like before. But why??? Does this mean there is still a chance in the future???? Please Help!!
  20. hey all, i recently made a few posts about a girl i was persuing and needless to say, i've decided to leave her alone for the time being. now i'm becoming more familiar with myself and there's some things that just don't make sense. for me, sex is an amazing thing and its even more amazing when shared with someone who embraces it for the ecstatic capacity it holds. to me love and loving is NOT trivial to me and i do not look at "hooking up" with someone as an end to justify the means. because i don't very much like that idea of having your typical ONS of drunken 20 min sex. that sort of demeans what sex is about and that's what bugs me about all this. i don't want to come off like the player, hooking up with women for ONS and i don't want to look like i'm looking for a relationship right away by holding back. so where's the go between? i'm starting to understand that physical intimacy can lead to a relationship and to me that's fine as i want to be in a relationship, but i'm more about not faking or hiding my natural being because i'm worried that will scare them away. so what do i do then? because i'm not suggesting here that i don't want a relationship and i'm not suggesting that i'm not capable of having a relationship. i'm more interested at this point in wanting to express myself, my desires and go for it fully instead of half-committed and making excuses for myself. if that makes sense. because i'm having a really hard time putting it into proper words without it sounding not how i want it to. to me, i want intimacy and feeling close to someone in that matter. i can't stand the thought of intimacy without the shared feeling of oneness it can bring. the detachment strikes me as nothing more than shared masterbation and i can do without that thanks. oh and if this is too much for people to listen to, it only shows why this is so hard. no pun intended (lighten up geez lol) i've had countless girls tell me they thought i was looking too much into having a relationship because i was holding back and that only came from wanting to take things slow and feel closer to them. in the end, they didn't "feel" anything because i've played it safe so many times. and i've had it where i was intimate with someone and then the next day the chemistry and attraction was "gone". to which i just thought it was from moving too quickly, when in fact now i believe its because there was no closeness. yet there have been some girls where i feel REALLY close to even though i don't know them well (attraction?) and those are the ones i've been noticing myself taking it slow with. and now i'm just wondering how i go about doing this. its like i want a relationship sure, i want to be close and intimate with someone yes, but i hate putting it out there to like every girl i come in contact with. if i were to say what i really am looking for, would that help? i mean how do you basically say you're not expecting anything or making any expectations, but that you're open to the possibilities should they come up as they come up. like in this case i don't want to make things definite, like me and her going somewhere MEANS its this or doing this MEANS that, but have it being based more on how we both feel in that moment. if this makes sense?
  21. As I lay my head on my pillow at night Loneliness quietly crawls inside I close my eyes and vision you Laying right by my side I'm longing endlessly for your touch Needing you more than I need my next breath Wanting to kiss you whenever you are near Longing to understand your love at a intimate depth It feels like forever since we were last intimate And my heart grows weaker by the day I'd kill to taste your tantalising lips And make all my worries float away I dream of your touch and it kills me My heart aches for you so badly I find myself thinking of you every second of every minute I realise now I've fallen for you so deeply As I look at you from a distance I'm still ever so amazed at what I see You are flawless in my eyes And I wish so much you'd hear me Hear my silent calls Calling you to come and kiss me senseless Waiting for our next chance of intimacy Is like waiting for imaginary bliss
  22. Becuase intimacy is a big deal. I think it should get it's own space. Anyway, I am reading a great book. Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathryn Hendricks. Not meaning to do publicity for them but their concepts are awesome. That basically when we get close to another human being all sorts of issues will naturally come up : Trust issues, authoriy issues, self-esteem, long repressed feelings coming to the surface, sexual issues. That as these things come up we have a choice, either to deal with them openly, honestly , with respect and taking full responsibilty for our lives or we reject them, not dealing with them while withholding our love, withdrawing from the relationship and projecting the problems onto your partner. It's about being totally honest and transparent, so that little things never become big things. And we are fully alive and ackowledging of our own feelings and thereforeeee much more able to be there for our partners than when we withdraw, go numb, lie , etc.. It's really interesting work on Intimacy. Why we are all in search of it but why we recoil from it in fear often when we find it. I am in a new relationship , so this stuff is really interesting to me. What do you all think of the above concepts? And can we get a whole forum for intimacy, please!
  23. I have been living with my boyfriend for 5mths now (we have been together for yr and half), and generally things are going good, however his sex drive has been dwindling. I know he is physically attracted to me, and I have a high sex drive (i would be happy to do it every day) but he isnt interested, its gotten to be that we only do it when he is in the mood. I frequently make the first move but I get a "later" or worse an "i love you" which apparently is him reassuring me but telling me "no not tonight" ultimately. I tired of feelin like a nympho, I am a sexual person, I love the intimacy of being naked together. His grandmother died a few weeks ago ,and I know the shock and stress can affect things (yes it has definitely made things worse, he is less interested), but to be honest it had been dwindling before that happened. I am trying to be understanding but a girl has needs too! I have tried talking to him about it, I have tried seducing him, I am even not coming onto him now (he is very hot it is hard* to control my lust- *at least something is) in the hope that if I play hard to get it might tempt him. I have even told him that I cant take the rejection anymore so I am letting him make all the moves. A part of me worries that we are not sexually compatible since we need different amounts. We used to be at it all the time, he used to walk around turned on every time we were in the same room (hes a big guy not easy to hide it) , (we have only been together for a yr and a half) but the first yr we did it every day. now I am lucky to get it once a week. we dont have intimacy problems, we are very close, infact Im scared that we have just become best friends. I blame living together for it, he used to not be able to keep his hands off me. Now I can walk about naked and he doesnt flinch. What should I do? When I talk to him about it he gets defensive and takes it personally. But its not quality Im debating its whether or not he just has got bored with me? what guts me most of all is that he has the ability to have a high sex drive, during on of our hearts to heart about the past he told me the most times he has made love to some one is 8times in one day. Was she more attractive than me, he assures me she wasnt but... u cant blame me for wondering. He puts it down to hormones as a teen. Even at our best the most he made love to me was twice in one day. Please advise!
  24. I'm single again and have been considering not only the things I want in my next companion ... but also considering what to watch for to make sure I don't settle for the kind of person who may be prone to infidelity. Some of you on this forum will undoubtedly be in this same position sooner or later. Of course, I understand that by being a good companion - emotionally and physically available - that I must hold my end of the relationship. Reading through many of these posts I see a definite trend where one mate cheats on another because he/she did not feel his/her needs were met - and then the relationship still continues. And clearly many of these acts of infidelity go unmentioned to the other partner - for months, years, even forever. The huge violation is that it seems likely that highest levels of intimacy are now unattainable in these situations - not only robbing the person who was cheated on of truth, but also of his/her own real potential for the highest levels of intimacy available in an honest, mature, open, and committed relationship of two equals. I've read that people who cheat on their lovers, or who have wittingly been involved sexually with someone cheating, are very likely to repeat this behavior in that relationship and in future ones. The recidivism among cheaters is quite real, apparently. I can say after 7 mid to long term relationships and 1 one night stand that I am quite certain that I have never cheated and have not been with someone who is cheating on another. Its just not in me. But twice I have been cheated on. Once I had failed to make a commitment to marriage after nearly five years and my partner cheated on me: I think in an act of sabotage. The other time was much more insidious - an old boyfriend was a closet lover for the 18 months of my committed, family-style relationship with a woman, a mother of one. I can say this is very painful, destructive, and should be avoided at all costs. I don't know how I can possibly ferret out those people who may be prone to this behavior. I was wondering if any of you may have any ideas. I'm thinking that in dating conversations if I can achieve some level of trust to find out if a person has ever stumbled might be one approach. Yet some of these people may not be willing to concede this. So such an approach might lead me to accepting people who have not only been prone to cheating, but also lying about it. Such people might also be lying to themselves - simply not truly self-aware. One thing I have noticed in these posts also is a great number of individuals who believe that omitting truth is a kind and correct thing to do in order to protect a partner's feelings when they have made such mistakes, e.g. "Honesty does not mean telling all - it means being truthful about what you do tell." I believe it might be a great idea for us committed types to also ferret-out people who believe this kind of thing about honesty. It seems these people may already be on the slippery slope of rationalized selfishness. Any ideas, criticisms, complaints? How do we find partners who work out relationship problem without acting out sexually with a third party - or simply go after the fun and excitement of extra-marital sex unseen by their partners? I'm just looking for some wisdom. Thanks.
  25. Has anybody ever got back with an ex where both acknowledge a bf/gf relationship which would be complete except lacks sexual intimacy?
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