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About Me

  1. My boyfriend's mother died very suddenly and unexpectedly 5 months ago, leaving him an orphan at age 36. His mother had raised him by herself and his father had remarried but died just a few years ago. His stepmother and half-siblings stopped talking to him after his father died, so it was as if he suddenly had no family left at all. When his mother died, I was the first and only person he turned to, and I held him all night and listened to him talk. He had to fly to another state to take care of arrangements and I offered to go with him. He tried to book a flight for me but nothing was ava
  2. My boyfriend lost his father last night, he had been I'll with cancer for a long time so he was somewhat prepared but he's still heartbroken. I don't know what to say to him or do for him, especially right now since we're seperated because of the virus. I tend to ramble when I'm sad, I'll send paragraphs and random stuff to him throughout the day most of which he doesn't respond to. He's trying his best to call me 3 or 4 times during the day for updates about the funeral and how devastated he is😭. My question is is it normal for him to not respond to texts or messages during the grieving proce
  3. Taking a page from the Healing after breakup and divorce forum, where we can post to our exes to keep us from contacting them. That is where I first posted this. I should have posted it here. I just read a list 20 Tips to do when you are grieving, and one is to write a letter to the deceased. Well, that is when it finally struck me that I am avoiding the grief of a loss. I need to face that loss directly. I need to talk to my long deceased ex. Maybe this thread can help you too. I encourage you to post here as a place to speak freely about our deceased friends, lovers, and family members
  4. Wow, I can not believe you have been gone for almost 3 years now. That seems an impossible amount of time. I come to think of you because I know we will be leaving you behind when we move. That does not grieve me like it once did. I know you are not really in your burial place but in my heart and in heaven. I have let go of a lot of grief, but there will always be some while I can not see or hold you. I will have to wait for my life to be over to do that. Your big brother still talks about you and asks what you would be doing in life now had you been with us. I think his heart is better of
  5. Lest we forget who gave their ultimate sacrifice and those who mourn them on Remembrance Day.
  6. This one is going to be a long story so buckle up!! My life has been a bit of a whirlwind, I'm in my early 20s and everything was going smoothly, career started doing well and then I was diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness. Normal life of hanging out with friends, parties, getting promoted quickly turned into hospital visits hooked up to IV and living on a oxygen concentrator. I've had relationships before, but once this happened I kind of figured nobody would EVER be interested in someone like me. But then I met this guy. We were introduced through a programme that was desig
  7. Happy Friday Everyone! I am a married female who has had a gay male best friend for over 45 years.....yes, we are getting old. My best friend played the organ at my wedding in 1979. My husband, myself and friend...I will call him Brady, all grew up together. My husband is not jealous so that was never an issue. So Brady and I usually talk everyday on FaceTime. We visit then say the Rosary together as we are Catholics. This year has been mega stressful for me. I had to go to court and take my granddaughter away from my oldest daughter due to abuse and neglect. My Mother went into extr
  8. I'm writing this after 9 months of what I consider the most painful break-up I've had. As much as I have tried very much to focus on myself, my interests, and my career, I can't seem to shake this intense feeling of grief for the past 4 months almost. I've experienced loss in my life, but nothing compares to the pain I've felt after this breakup, because he's still somewhere, out there and I have to live with the fact that he chose to act the way he did for the entirety of our relationship. What hurts most is the fact that I discarded myself and disrespected my own boundaries by accepting
  9. Hi guys! Not been on here for a bit. I still struggle with the end of a relationship that was only two months long, (ended 28/12/17). Bad timing, not long after my Dad's (Grandfather) death, and ultimately I knew she wasn't right for me. However, I still mourn her.....after no contact in all that time. Some days I hardly think about her, and then recently it's been relentless. It was after googling why I still mourned a relationship, that codependency came up.....and I tick all the boxes. Low self esteem, terrified she was going to end the relationship because the thought of being sing
  10. I've been dating this guy for the last 2 months. We both agreed that we were not casually dating but have not yet called it a relationship so I guess it's somewhere in between. Things have been going well until his friend passed away earlier this week. In my attempt to comfort him I accidentally said something that made things worse - in short it was a case of choosing the wrong word and a massive misunderstanding, which I apologised for immediately. So that was the beginning of his withdrawal. Later on that night I sent him another apology by text, no response. A day later I tried reaching
  11. In February, I came out of an eight month relationship with a girl who meant an awful lot to me. It's been six months now, and I'm still in the rut of trying to move past this and be happy while still getting dragged down (I reached my absolute lowest point yesterday). This isn't for lack of trying as I've tried numerous different things to get myself out of this mess. Writing songs and getting back into writing music, online therapy (that one turned out to be a bit of a bust since I wasn't told anything that I couldn't have been told for free by someone without a fancy certificate), and ev
  12. Does anyone else get this every morning. The first few weeks after breaking up I woke up with reality hitting me and wanting to cry, but now it's more just an overwhelming feeling of dread and hopelessness upon waking up. It makes me not want to get out of bed and just hide under the covers, kind of like there's nothing worth getting up for. Once I'm up the feeling quickly subsides..I'm not suddenly happy but I'm not quite as depressed. Is this just a normal part of the grieving process and will it eventually go away?
  13. My partner of almost two years went radio silent on me about three weeks ago. No goodbyes, no explanations, just *poof* gone. I only had confirmation from his family, with whom I got very close, in the form of e-mails saying "Sorry it didn't work out." I'm confused. I put so much time, energy, money, emotion into this only to feel unceremoniously thrown away. Abandonment is a huge thing for me so it's been hard to process, hard to grieve as I have no explanation why, and even tougher to take care of myself. I know things were getting bad, it started out 50/50 time wise. Then he started to
  14. So recently I moved back to an old city where I rejoined a band I used to play in. We probably play 1-2x/week. After a couple months I got to know one of the guys better and had a much improved opinion of him- really liked that he seemed to be working on himself, had lost weight, working in a co-op, quit smoking recently, drinking less, much more positive than before and into gratitude. I had been told that he had a crush on me at some point in the past (7 years ago? 10?) though he never really made a move. My one friend had been trying to get me to consider him for years tho after I star
  15. Please could I ask for some advice? I've been in a strange kind of half friendship/half relationship for some time now, and I've known for a while that my feelings for him are stronger than his are for me. For him, it's just casual - whereas I've fallen head over heels for him. So I need to get myself out of this situation and move on. It's become apparent that he feels I'm too attached - and he's right. I'm trying to distance myself, but the only way I can describe how I feel is like it's a bereavement, but I still see the person I'm grieving for as we move in the same circles. On Fri
  16. Hi All, My mom passed away unexpectedly 2 years ago this past June. I feel like some days I have found some peace with it but other days I feel like it is all fresh and new and I just can't ease the pain. I am not in denial and yet some days I just can't seem to accept that she is gone. I grieve for myself and for my children. She was a huge part of their lives. I grieve all the important moments in their lives that she won't share. I was not at all prepared for her passing. It was sudden and she was fairly young. I was with her in the end and it wan't peaceful. I watched as th
  17. Posting here out of desperation because my inability to get over this breakup (nearly a year and a half ago) is sinking my entire life. My grief about this is so overwhelming I have twice been rejected for therapy following assessment; they kept saying I wasn’t in the right place for it but didn’t offer me any help in the meantime. I need to do something though. Time isn't helping. Being so 'no contact' I wouldn't know if he died isn't helping. Attempting to date other people isn't helping. I really don't want my life to be ruined by this relationship and breakup but it's very much going that
  18. Hey everyone. It's been a few months since I last posted. Last time, I talked of a break up that happened back in November 2019. Well, here's what's happened since then: I'm afraid I did not take the advice of cutting contact with her back in November. For a while, I was doing well about just talking with her has friends. But over time, it became clear that we could not handle that sort of thing. In December we went back to talking like boyfriend and girlfriend again, and it wasn't long before we were talking about how we could be a better couple in the future. After having not seen her
  19. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I were dating for six months. After the first month, his mother was diagnosed with a brain disease and the next few months she was in and out of the hospital. I was there for him everytime it seemed like it was over and he never failed to thank me and tell me how much he loved and appreciated me. The morning of her death (in late November) everything was normal, he was telling me his plans for the day and chatting away. Then we had radio silence. I thought he was just busy until I saw his sister posted something thanking everyone for their well wishes and givin
  20. As I said in some previous posts, my ex wanted to be friends but it was too painful for me because I'm still in love and she's not. So as advised by some of the good people on this site, I broke that off with her but said she should get in touch if she ever considers reconciliation. That was four days ago and I still have much grieving to do, but every day is a bit better. My question is: why was it a good idea to leave the door open for her? Why is it a good idea to allow her to think I'm hers for the taking if/when things don't work out for her in the dating world? My gut tells me it's the r
  21. Does anyone have any advice on how to let go of the anger, resentment, and pain of being dropped by your friends? I know meeting new people would be one but I have JUST been dumped for no reason that I know of. But if they were true friends and I did do something that bothered them, they would come to me and tell me. They are all separate friends who have no contact with each other. They have never made much time for me, but they have just stopped responding to my texts. Two didn't even text me on my bday last week for the first time in years. I have an appointment with a therapist
  22. Last night I went to sleep with hopes of starting today right. Waking up early. Going for a run. Looking forward not back. Trying to move out of this wallowing in grief phase. I had good intentions. This morning when my alarm went off I felt like a brick wall had fallen on top of me. Zero motivation. Lots of heartache. Couldn't motivate myself to get up and do things that I knew would make me feel better. What sorts of things do all of you do to start off your day on the right foot? How do you power through the morning grief? Would love to hear your tips and tricks. I miss her a lot t
  23. My fiance and I were dating for 10 months, when he found out his brother was sick. We had the most perfect 10 months, we were so in love, it was magical. His brother had AIDS and had shut everyone out of his life. He planned to die alone, but his friend went to see him and told My him and his other brother that they needed to get him. He went and his brother was close to death, but he felt he could save him. He packed all his belongings and moved him accross country, into their childhood home. He put him in the best hospital in the area, and 7 days later he died. It has been almost 2 years s
  24. I am sorry for those that have lost parents and have experienced huge loss. I have not had to deal with this yet, but I am an empathetic person and know any loss is hard. I am making a post to get perspective from those of you that have lost a parent or a loved one. I met a great man 4 months after his father passed away, unexpectedly in his sleep. We had a really great relationship and for the first 6-7 months, you would have no idea that he had any sadness in his life... at about 7 months, things started to change dramatically and it coincided with what was the 1 year anniversary of his f
  25. My boyfriend of 5 years have broken (I broke up with him reluctantly) a few times because he lied to me about his finances (irresponsible by charging too much etc) and I knew I couldn’t live with him under those circumstances. We missed each other so badly each time we reconciled and he promised to be honest. Last time we reconciled he swore he completely changed but I’ve learned he did something dishonest last month by using his elderly parents credit card. I haven’t told him yet but obviously I need to do so ASAP and break up. I’m completely devastated and so unbearably lonely without hi
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