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Fudgie

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Fudgie last won the day on November 26 2020

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  1. Absolutely and it's okay/normal given your situation. Detaching also sort of works as a coping mechanism. You're in the emotional process of preparing to move and that's okay - good even!
  2. I get that. Also, I don't completely discount background checks. Back when I was dating (doing online dating), I would sometimes get a simple check on someone that would pull up state (not federal) arrests/convictions/some lawsits activity. It cost me $10 and it was reputable. I would not judge someone by what comes up on Google unless it's VERY, VERY clear that it's them (picture where you can identify the person, other details in a reputable site, etc.) I once was supposed to have a coffee date with a man and then I googled him before we met up and I found, via a local reputable n
  3. You said he has a very common name. I would not worry about anything you find that just references his name then. My name is VERY common and yes, I've Google'd myself and TONS of stuff pops up, good and bad, tons of different people, nothing to do with me at all. I could only find myself on maybe 2 mundane results, several pages in, and that's from an old newspaper mention. Anyone with a common name has this happen to them. It's not worth any worry.
  4. Wow, bad situation. Okay, here's my take: Get a DNA test. She blows up at you for finding out that you were seeing someone else and then 1 week later, she's pregnant? Do you have any confirmation of the pregnancy? And where is the proof that its yours? DO NOT sign anything until she submits to a DNA test and then go from there. If it's not yours, you can block her for good and move on with your life. If the child is yours, then if you don't feel that you can be properly involved, then I wouldn't be outside of financially. You do have a legal responsibility to give her child support
  5. The day you stop caring about what most others think about you is the day you'll be more happy and at peace. For me, I don't care too much what my coworkers think of me. I know a lot of them think I'm quirky/weird but I don't really care. As long as they can work with me and I can work with them (I'm in a supervisory position over most of my coworkers), then I'm fine with it. I care very much what my boss thinks (considering, you know, she's in charge) but that's about it. Who gives a rat's a__ over what Jenny in Accounting thinks of you? Or Doug the Manager? Or whatever? You don't h
  6. I'm wondering if the fact that you two knew each other before dating played a part in this. I could see an adult showing up to a friend's house (knowing that they partake as well) kind of high. But in a new relationship, no, not really, especially if the person doesn't have any to share. I'm wondering if the fact that you two knew each other before dating made him more lax in regards to this than if he had just met you recently. You did the right thing, by talking to him. See if a pattern develops or not. Could be a just one-off thing.
  7. I am really happy for you and proud of you. This is a big decision to have made and many people never get to the point where you're at: realizing that you can't control your alcohol consumption and you really need to go cold turkey. You can do this.
  8. I have not taken Effexor but I know a few friends/family members who have taken it long-term and are still on it now. It has really helped them with anxiety. I echo Cheet's point that many people do find it hard to taper down from, especially if you're on it for a long while. If you're looking at it as a possible long-term treatment and not something for the short-term, it's still worth a shot, especially if you're very compliant with your medications. Then you shouldn't have any issues.
  9. You seem to have a lot of empathy. Empathy itself is a good thing but too much of it in caregiving fields will suck you dry. I think you'll continue to struggle with finding your niche and finding a job that isn't too stressful if you don't rectify this. I work in healthcare and no, I don't "love" my patients. I do what is right by them and then I go home. If you internalize people's emotional struggles, problems, and dramas, you are in for a very rough ride no matter where you work. Ultimately, you'll get burned out or too stressed and you'll be pressed into leaving.
  10. Well, I've been told I have an avoidant attachment style, and I'm inclined to agree. I'm aloof, don't show my feelings much, keep a lot of things to myself, need my space, was always the dumper in relationships, etc. I am currently not in a relationship, not trying to date, etc. I am not sure what awaits me in the future but I'm starting to think it's not in the cards for me as I'm going on 2+ years of being single, no dates, etc. But you know, going into this really doesn't help you. Who cares what "attachment style" he has? He is not right for you overall. You may really like him, or e
  11. I had my first love around age 14-15 and when I was 18, no, Looking back, I still think I had moments of yearning. I am 31 now and no, that doesn't happen anymore. In fact, I've had a lot better since then. You're only a few years out. You have a lot of life ahead of you. Trust me when I say YES, it does get better but you need to be active about leaving it in the past. Remind yourself when the feelings crop up "That's in the past, I need to move on and I will be a lot happier".
  12. Utilize the resources out there! I agree with the poster who stated that you aren't really in a position to be picky about it. So what if it's a volunteer who drives you? This happens to many women who need to have abortions but don't have the support needed to get to/from the appointment. Honestly, if I lived in your area (I don't, I'm in the US), I'd drive you to/from the appointment myself. There are many, many people, like myself, who feel strongly about supporting a woman's choice to have an abortion who would be happy to help. Again, social services is the place to go. Tell them: yo
  13. I second the doctor suggestion. I'm surprised no one suggested it yet but if your crack is wet due to sweat and such, you may have developed a topical yeast infection. If powders alone don't solve your discomfort, it may be worth picking up a tube of Monistat, or better yet, anti-fungal powder, and see if that improves things. Worth a try, can't hurt.
  14. It doesn't have to be awkward unless you make it awkward. Play it cool at work, keep it professional, and don't bring up the text. She may bring it up herself ("Oh hey! I'm sorry I didn't respond, I was already out for the night! Let me know when you want to get drinks in the future!") or she may not bring it up at all. Ball is in her court now. I would just act normal, not mention the message at all, and keep things status quo.
  15. In my city, seniors (65+) are getting vaccinated by their primary providers. They don't have to make an appointment, just wait for a call and THEN they make an appointment. It seems like most young people don't have primary doctors here any more. I know I do but I'm in the minority. However, they are savvy and I imagine sometime this year, most will be able to stroll into a pharmacy and get it done.
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