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somechick99

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About somechick99

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    Silver Member
  1. For me talking about things helps me move on from them. Being able to talk about issues is literally the point of this forum.
  2. Perhaps I wasn't very clear in my writing about the sequence of things. We were seeing each other for several weeks with just dates, no sex. Then I decided to have sex with him - we had sex a few times spread out over a couple of days. The last day/time we had sex was the same day the fires etc erupted and we had to separate for awhile regardless - he had issues to take care of with the power outage and smoke at his house, I needed to figure out what to do on my end with the air quality etc. His interest had not appeared to decline at this point or even up until about 4-5 days after we had las
  3. Where did I say we only went on a couple of dates? We had been seeing each other over a period of several weeks. We did only have sex a couple of times, on different days. Even if we hadn't had sex I would be equally hurt by his behavior. I never said he needed to have some long discussion with me. A simple "Hey, I've been thinking and I'm not feeling this anymore. It's been fun and I wish you the best" would have sufficed. Literally no idea where you got any of that from. I did enjoy the sex and "love bombing" etc, when his behavior was consistent with it. But to tell someone you really
  4. Thank you for your answer - blunt but helpful and to the point. I am reflecting and learning from the situation.
  5. As the one on the receiving end of his behavior, I will say that being love bombed and intimate with someone then ghosted was very hurtful. This is not someone I only hung out with a couple times. At best it was cowardly not to at least let me know he wanted to break things off.
  6. I am posting this mostly for some outside perspective as to what happened. I am a 26 year old female and he's a 27 year old male. I met the guy through a dating app and he was really persistent about getting me to go out with him. He lives an hour and a half away so I wasn't very eager to meet up, but he insisted he would drive out to meet me. He drove the 1.5 hours and we had a fun first date - he immediately plans a second date for a few days later. This goes on for several weeks with zero pushes for sex on his part (we took turns driving, he wasn't always the one having to go 1.5 hours)
  7. Thank you, that was encouraging and gives me some hope.
  8. Thank you for this response. That's solid advice. I will definitely start attending meetings ASAP.
  9. Anything really, from health problems to getting raped or getting in a car crash, or any other type of situation that could arise from being blackout drunk somewhere
  10. I've always known I had issues with things like depression and anxiety, but after turning 25 recently it hit me how dysfunctional I am in general and I'm not sure what the best steps are to take to get help. I grew up with an alcoholic narcissist mother (father wasn't there much) and she sent me away to a wilderness and boarding school program at age 16. After getting out at age 18 I didn't know how to adjust back to the real world and started smoking weed all day every day. I also started stripping as I had issues keeping other jobs and focusing in school due to my addictions. It's now be
  11. Thanks for the reply. I think the feelings have always been in the back of my mind but may have been repressed because it was always really bad timing. In the past he was emotionally unavailable for quite some time as he had an on again off again relationship with a woman he loved for several years. During that time I didn't consciously experience any attraction. Only within the past couple months or so has he cut her out and stopped talking so much about her, and I think that's why the feelings hit only recently.
  12. I agree - I'm not going to bring anything sexual into the relationship at this point in time. Thanks for the advice, a date is a good idea.
  13. Thanks for the reply. I think I may have had feelings for awhile that were blocked because of bad timing (when we originally met he was in a relationship already and talked extensively about her, and we've both seen other people for the majority of our friendship). I wasn't allowing myself to feel anything for him because I knew it wouldn't work. I agree clear and honest communication is a good idea, although it would change the nature of our friendship no matter what. If he decides to stay with his current fling, I'd really have no choice but to see him a lot less, which isn't necessarily
  14. For some background, I've known this guy for about 7 years and we hang out very frequently. I'm a 25 year old woman and he's a 28 year old guy. I never really saw him in a romantic way because one or both of us would always be dating someone else despite remaining close friends, plus the attraction just wasn't there. For some reason a couple weeks ago when we were hanging out, feelings hit me all of a sudden, and all at once. I just had a realization he was one of the only people in my life who has seen all of me, positive and negative, but still stuck around and the same is true for him. A
  15. Lol at the guys on this thread telling you to be "more trusting" and "not pop in unannounced." Any guy who has another girl's shirt in his room is not worthy of trust and is probably asking she not drop by for a reason. Had the shirt not been there then those requests would be a bit more reasonable. I mean let's be serious, there's another girl's shirt in his room. It's a 99% chance he cheated at this point. What he says is completely irrelevant - cheaters are dishonest people and are not likely to just admit what they did wrong off the bat. If you insist on staying with him, I'd say stay
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