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About Me

Mod Notes

  1. Well ,it looks like my hand may be pushed faster then I think . I heard a rumour ,yes ,you have to love the rumour mill that our new building is going to be condemned . I had to talk to my boss today and yesterday she told me we plan to re-start in 2 weeks and today she tells me we don’t know what we’re doing yet . So obviously the rumour mill is true . Thank Jesus I applied for unemployment ! A friend added me to all the Facebook child care sites and buy and sells. Unfortunately, my boss is on all the childcare sites . She’s going to know my plan eventually .
  2. I decided to start this as a place to park my hodgepodge of thoughts and what's going on in my life. Had a great Easter yesterday- I had to drive a few hours to the airport to pick my son up from his trip to France and Spain. He had a great time and it seems like he grew up over night! It was so great to have both boys home and with me. Since I had them for Easter, I asked them what kind of meal they wanted and I went and bought the groceries for a nice Easter dinner. Then I get a text from my ex, saying his mom and dad are inviting me and the boys to Easter brunch at their house. Well I didn't really want to go because my ex and his gf would be there. But the boys wanted to go and they wanted me to come. So I told them I would drop them off, pop in to say hi to friends and ex's family, then pick them up later. It took a lot of courage. But Despite that, I actually had fun! My ex and his gf sat on the other side of the room, although at one point his gf complemented a necklace I was wearing. It was fun to catch up with people I essentially have not seen in 4 years since the breakup. Oh the things I do for my sons... Well afterwards I made that nice dinner and we had it by candle light- just before I had to take them to their dad's for the week.
  3. I’ve not been very good at journaling this year! I’ve been dating someone for almost a year - we met last December. I do wonder if we’ll make it into the new year due to a few issues. He’s a single dad, first one I’ve ever dated, and I’ve spent a bit of time with his son but he has behavioural issues at home so not sure how I would handle this if I become step-mum. There’s also the topic of if I want my own child - I’m still not made up and honestly I don’t think he wants another one. He (my boyfriend) is currently living with his dad saving money and helping out (dad is registered disabled but mobile for short periods). The dad is also going deaf and I don’t click with his sense of humour so I find any time visiting really testing trying to hold a normal conversation with him. I also have been living with my parents while I look for a full time job and now appreciate how much space they give me and boyf when he visits! I have one close friend in this town who I have known since school - and she’s been driving me nuts lately. I think we’ve grown apart and don’t relate on the same level anymore. I even hate texting her to organise anything - all I get are “ok” as responses and that on it’s own does my head in! And on the subject of work - I had two part time jobs in this town but one has now finished due to being a fixed term contract on a small team. The idea was to use that as a CV filler to move onto something else but I’ve been lazy of late applying to jobs. On the plus side I have noticed more ‘interesting’ roles being advertised which gets my hopes up. In the meantime I have a part time job in retail. Half of my department is off sick so there’s a lot of overtime going but it’s been frustrating with a rubbish new manager who isn’t on top of anything. I’m supposed to get a weeks notice of shifts with 24 hrs notice being the exception but lately every week my shifts have only been confirmed the day before or I get a message begging me to work the next day. This doesn’t seem like a very positive opening post, want it all off my chest before the year end haha!
  4. I hope in this journal people learn to understand people with autism. " In a box, not a bottle" is a private joke between me and my son. It is how we describe his experience with Asperger's . link removed
  5. i'm almost shaking too much to ... to type this.. i don't .. want to die.. but it's killing me to live like this.. i ... i can't live without my mikey. i can't live with everybody.. hating me... because i can't do any thing. i can't be with them, i can't be without them.. i can't even cut myself right now.. this knife's too dull... and i.. i don't want to.. but i dont' know what else to do.. please.. tell.. me .. what to do.. i'm sorry... i've... calmed down some now.. whew..... ok.... but when you're rocking back and forth, whispering to no one in particular, "dream with me baby" and begging, ..... you know there's something wrong with your head. heh. as for my m... heh. as for that guy. he... i supposedly spoiled his plans for seeing me, because my parents are butt holes, and won't let me see anyone from anywhere. that and this part i didn't tell him, i can't see him yet because i haven't had that ... weird.. "sexual reassignment" crap done yet. so... yeah. he got mad, because i can't go visiting him and whatever, i spoiled his plans. me. my fault. i'm trying to ... fix my body, i'm bleeding for him (yes, i'm a cutter, i'm not going to say it any prettier.) i'm crying for him, i'm doing everything i can to speed up the whole change process, and... he... frack. i'm just... blown away. he's mad at me. the only one i've ever loved so hard, so... much. and he just.. walks away. just tosses it away. for what? nothing. i'm sure he's just as hurt, but he doesn't understand ...why. i'm just.. at a loss as to where to go from here. i was living day to day based on him. when i'd see him next, what i'd do, where i'd go.. what i'd do after high school... i changed my entire life plan around just for him. i suppose this is heard here often, but i'm not used to it. i've only had one other bf before (both online.. yeah, real stable.) and.. he just left one day and never came back. so... that was a kick in the pants, let me tell you this. i just.. don't know what to do. i honestly felt like dying. still do, but with much MUCH more sarcasm. man... i just need some help with.... how to... deal with this garbage. and i dont' mean "breakup advice" because that's not where i want this to go.
  6. Do you fell pushing your ex to talk about his feelings pushes him further away? I could go on for days about what going on but its long. Have an ex who is 22 i am 25 we are having a baby. Boss wants him to date his daugheter tried getting them two together while we were dating. When we broke up ex told me about this. Mind swings back and for to we should be friend we should try and work things out, to back off, to i don;t think we could ever be friends. He says he care about me respects taht fact that I'm carring his baby. I hea things about him and ask him and he says he is not dating her or sleeping with her and then ask me why would he have to lie to me. He spend pleanty of time over there and at the bar with the 18 yr old daughter I don't really think reality has set in that I am pregnant and I think want him to talk about it or his feelings is pushing him away? Is that possible? Maybe a little time of not talking and if he would actually see that I am showing it would set in?
  7. Hey guys! I stumbled accross this tonight and I am glad I did. I have been in turmoil for the past few weeks and need some advice. Here it goes. I am 35 and mother of 2 young children. I recently went through a divorce due to the fact my ex husband had a DUI accident and accidently killed a man. He ran instead of facing court. I have been raising my children by myself since May. I met a man on link removed in August who lived 50 miles from me. It was love at first sight. He too has two children 9 and 10 and for first 4 months we drove back and forth almost daily. The relationship went fast. He had a ring on my finger by October and I sold my house and paid off debts and moved down into a rental place (which i hate) 2 months ago to be near him. I should have seen it coming because since I moved down it has gone down hill. He started talking about issues he was having - mainly us not disiplining our children the same. He also had issues with other things, but nothing I saw that we could not work on especially if we went to counseling. We have intense sexual chemistry and for the most part got along fine. We had plans to marry May 14th of this year. Two weeks ago I was away on a work trip and he told me before I left he wanted to postpone the wedding. I was upset because we had deposits down, invitations printing but I told him let's think about it while I am away. I decided to give him time while i was away but he thought I was out doing something I wasn't so when I called he told me all my stuff and my dogs are back at my house - it was over. Here is where it gets tricky. When I got back, he and I called eachother and he decides he wants to be friends - slow it down and go from there. He states he doesn't want to date anyone else, but thinks he needs to be apart and that I need time to become independent and not have a man. He was feeling "pressured" to get married and felt like I leaned on him too much to help me with my children. He didn't want to replace what I had with my ex and he didn't want to rush down an aisle, even though he put the ring on my finger and told me what month he wanted to get married. Last week, I went on link removed and saw his profile back up and was furious. I called and laid into him and he hung up on me. He states he went on to see if I was on. Anyways he then wrote me an email threatening me to give back his ring in which i wrote back and threatened in return. It got ugly and things were said. We both said don't contact me again but we both have been calling eachother. I saw him this past weekend at my son's t-ball game and he came up to me, talked and gave me a kiss. Then later that night, he went out with friends, came over and we slept together. Now he said he regrets it but still wants to be friends. I know we have that strong chemistry when we see eachother. I don't know what to do. I still love him but one moment he still loves me and the next he doesn't want me. He doesn't want me nor wants me to move on with anyone else. Right now I don't want anyone else if I can't have him but I am getting mixed signals left and right. He says don't call, but calls on Sat from a concert because he thinks of me. I don't know how to move on. I am depressed that I now live 1 mile from him, don't have money to move back up, don't have any friends here in his town and have him yo yoing me back and forth. I would be lying if I said I don't want him back despite our parents both don't want us to. Too much damage has been done. But having sex keeps that string in me and gives me hope. Question is, how do I move on? It is so hard not to call him or email him. Even tonight I called him regarding the Bachlorette show and we talked about it. It ended with him saying I will call you later. I hate that I can't just cut this off and move on. Any advice on what to do? BlondOne
  8. I found out last month that my husband had a year long affair with a women in another state. I found out this information from her 21 yr old daughter, who has been seeing my husband for the last 10 months. The daughter and my husband both say there wasn't anything sexual about their realtionship. But my husband did lie to me spend everyother weekend in Dec with this child, as well as spend money on her and her 4yr old child. My husband of 14 years is an over the road truck driver. He took the mother out on the road with him at least 5 or 6 times, and as he says "had sex" with her too many times to remember. He has been talking to the daughter multiple times a day since this past May, and even had pictures of her on his cell phone. He told me that he even offered to let her sleep in his truck (the one I pay for) with him one night after they went to a bar and it was really late and she didn't want to get in trouble. She still lives with her mom. He has tried for the last several weeks not to run in the area where they live, but that hasn't been sucessful. He says he hasn't called them or texted them on his phone, but I won't know until the bill comes out. He says because I am asking for reassurance about his commitment and love to me that I am pushing him away. We have made the commitment to stay together, but how do I get the images of him touching,kissing, making love to out of my mind? This is driving me crazy, I can't sleep, I am doing my job poorly and the kids are sufferring. I am seeing a thearpist, but he isn't. Please someone give me some advice on how to get these images out of my head. I want to stay with my husband.
  9. After 10 years of marriage, we split. We had an agruement over my daughter's boyfriend using the computer. Things got out of hand my husband pushed my daughter, I slapped him, her boyfriend told him to stop pushing the women, my husband pushed me, my daughter's boyfriend tackled him, my husband tried to get a knife, and I ran out with the kids and stayed in a hotel with them for 2 days before returning to the house. After this, my husband says that sooner or later he would move in with a women because life is to hard living by yourself. It turns out that he cann't rent an efficiency b/c he doesn't have the money to do so, and he told me he is renting with a guy and his sister, after much fighting I get him to admit that he was seeing this women for appx 4 months now. He said they started hot and heavy, she ended the relationship b/c he was married, and he said he kept calling her. Although I want to believe what he says, I know I cann't and I know he is lying. He said he finds peace in that house and that there is no fighting. He says he loves me but is afraid to move back in to have the fight begin again, to have me mistrust him and then have to move back out. He comes to the house to see my other daughter and some of the times he hugs me and keeps saying that this relationship he has is not going to last. The last time he was over, he was hugging and kissing me and if I didn't stop it, it would of progressed to much worse. He says that he didn't feel that I loved him or cared for him, and that we hardly had sex any more. This is true, but I have found a note in his pockets w/a women's phone on it before. I always felt he was out there looking for someone. One time he was arrested for soliciting oral sex from a prostitute. He would treat me badly and tell me I was fat, ugly and old. I did let my daughter sleep in the bed with me, I guess I needed comfort that I wasn't getting from him. I did ask him to help me wean her from the habit, but he didn't. I got fat, I continued to smoke although I knew it was a turnoff for him. I am trying to make sense of this situation, and outsider who can look in and tell me their thoughts on the situation. I am feeling responsible for the breakup, I am feeling no self-esteem, and I am hurt and cann't think straight. Someone please write to me.
  10. Hello I am new here and have thought about going to see a counseller for my problems, but have decided to try online first and see other peoples point of view. My problems started last year when I became pregnant. I had been with my partner for 18 years and we never thought we could conceive, so were very excited about it. That was, until I had a miscarriage. This was the start of my problems. My partner had never really had a very big sex drive (once a year if I was lucky since he started his own business) and I put it down to stress of work. After the loss of the baby, I became very depressed and hormonal and he didn't know how to deal with, so confided in another woman (I only found this out later - the cause of a huge row). He had been texting her two or three times a day and I thought there was something going on. I confronted him about it and he said that she had relationship problems and was asking him about them. He said there was nothing going on and I should trust him. So I did. Their relationship seemed to fizzle out, but his business started going downhill and sometimes he works at the same building as her part time to bring some extra money in and I am eaten up inside thinking he is there with her. She has a boyfriend who (so he tells me) she is happy with and there is no relationship between them except for being friends. Now that would seem enough of a problem in itself (to me anyway - I felt betrayed that he was confiding in another woman about our relationship). He threatened to leave me about six weeks ago as he said I didn't trust him (and it had got to the point that I didn't feel that I could), but the shock of the potential break-up brought me to my senses and I battle with my feelings every day when he is working there, thinking they are laughing at me behind my back. Next thing I know, I find out that he has been looking at porn and downloading porn videos from the internet. I found this out quite by accident, but ever since, have been watching his activity online to see if it was a one-off (which it seemed to be). This was eight months ago. More recently I found a link to a porno site that he had accessed and then several more to other sites which he seems to look at on a regular basis after I have gone to work (I leave early and he doesn't start work until later, so has time at home on his own). I have confronted him about it and he seems to think I see him as some kind of deviant. I told him I feel that I am not enough for him (he is still not interested in a sexual relationship with me, although when I lost our baby, he had said we would try for another) and I feel that he is getting his gratification for looking at these graphic images on the internet. I don't know what to do or where to turn as I don't know if this is normal, but then why am I not enough for him? I feel like I want to break up the relationship over this as whenever I ask about it, he goes silent and moody and will not talk about it, full stop!! Sorry to burden people with so many problems, but I don't know where to turn or what to do and have felt suicidal over this as he has been such a huge part of my life for the past two decades. Confused, depressed and in need of help fast ...
  11. He is always "too, tired or not in the mood" but this only happens Mon-Thur. Weekend nights and days are fine. His job forces him to walk between 8-10 miles a day, so I can understand that he is tired, and he gets off work at three then comes home and gets himself off at 3:30. So I think thats why by the time I am home from the gym, and have my daughter in bed, he is ready for sleep. Help any suggestions.
  12. I am divorced now for 5 months. My x has two daughters from a previous relationship. I maintain some contact with her daughters 18 and 14 years old. I send them cards gifts for bdays and holidays with no expectations. These girls were part of my life for ten years and im not sure where i fit in this puzzle. If i break contact with them would they understand? Would i be a creep if i did ? Again i do what i do because i want to and not to get x baxk or anything manipulative like that.These girls have been on so many emotional roller coasters it is the last thin i want to do. Any advice or similar experiences are appreciated..
  13. any opinions would be great on this. ive been doing a lot of thinking,especially after my friend rejected me.there have been a lot of questions in my head......why do i want a girl so bad......what is the point.......why do i feel so sad.....why am my friends distant.....etc etc at first,i thought it was all my fault.this was natural,i was depressed after the rejection. now that i have a clearer head,im thinking that i need to improve myself to be worthy of a decent girl in my life. about why i need a girl,i guess its the loneliness factor.im a lone child,always played by myself when i was a kid.i have many friends,but i often find it difficult to get really close to people and to et people close to me because im so used to having my space.the only time i really felt close to someone was when i had a long distnce girlfriend,and we would talk loads about anything daily. anyway,i was thinking i should improve myself,concentrate on the matters i have rised as well as a few others and see where i go.please note,im not trying to improve myself with the aim of getting a partner,i guess improving myself will make me a more desirable person.its not my aim to improve myself to get a girlfriend. any thoughts?
  14. Well there is this girl that I got preg (or so she says) it was a 1 night stand that I regret... and she wont have an abortion nor will she put it up for adoption... I dont want nothing to do with this kid... I want to sign my rights away but she says that I cant do that unless I have her permission... can I sign my rights away and not have to pay child support without her permission? Also she is 17 and I am 18 would I get in trouble for this? Statitory?
  15. We have been married for 5 years, together for 7. We have a 3year old daughter who is my whole life. My husband loves us both with all his heart. Where the problem lies is I dont love him. I dont really know if I ever loved him. I have always gone from 1 relationship to the next and none ever lasted more than 2 years. When I got to that point with my husband I married him thinking that it was just me not being able to commit to a longer repationship and that the love would come back. It never has even after having my beautiful daughter. Long story short. I dont think I have ever really been in love. I feel lost , empty, scared, selfish, and alone. I dont really have anyone I feel comfortable talking with. I know I have to leave for myself but I cant do it to my husband and daughter. He knows how I feel and for the past 2 weeks has been doing everything to get my love back. He gives me cards and letters that only make me want to leave more because I long to feel that way about someone and have them feel the same. He thinks that I will take my daughter with me if I leave but what he doesn't know is that I couldnt do it to him. That is the only reason I am still with him. I cant bear the thought of being away from my precious little girl. She is here asking me why I am crying. Sorry to ramble I just need a little advice?
  16. A friend of mine has 2 children, 1 of his own and 1 from a previous relationship that his wife had. His wife has been unfaithful to him multiple times with multiple partners. He was playing the house-husband when all of this was going on and she was out sewing her oats. They have been married for 3 years. The question I have.. Is there a limit to trying to work it out.. IMO 1 act of infidelity is hard enough to patch it up.. but numerous acts.. how can it survive.. how could counseling fix that many lapse of judgments? I think the "staying together for the children" is played out and crap. It doesn't excuse what people do. comments?
  17. I will try and be as brief as possible. We met about 7 months ago. She is 4 1/2 years younger than me. She has two children in another state who live with their father. She divorced him over a year ago and left to get away from him but misses her children very much. We broke up at the end of April after an incident where I freaked out because I was insecure and it manifested itself when we couldn't get a table anywhere for dinner. She tried to reassure me but I clammed up. We did get together two weeks later, and since, we had been going back and forth between being completely in couple mode to just friends. Regardless, we have been intimate the entire time. However, there have been occasions where it seemed that we couldn't deal with it and would almost separate only to come back together. This whole time, she has been torn between wanting to stay here and be with me, or go back to her children. I am supportive of her being with her children and think we can work it out, she takes an "all-or-nothing" approach. She even told about three weeks ago that she was considering staying here for me. I have even offered to go with her and she actually considered it seriously until she decided it "would only make things more complicated". She is afraid her ex-husband may make it difficult for her to see her kids. We went to Mexico last month and we seemed to get very close. Since we have been back she has been increasingly unavailable. Two weeks ago, we had a terrible falling out, precipitated by alcohol, me being on medication and her seeking independence. We went out and insecurities built up and words were exchanged. The incident, in the end, really is not what concerns me as it was just an excuse for her to do what she did later. Last week, she called me up and I went over. We didn't discuss the previous incident but ended up sleeping together. Then, on Monday, she emailed me and said it was a "HUGE mistake"...and said it would be better if we didn't keep in touch anymore. She finished by saying "Good bye". However, she went out with my sister this past Friday, and told her the following: That she does this when she cares alot about someone (getting distant). She says that she is definitely moving back to xxxx in two weeks. She only had "good things" to say about me, that we had a lot of good times together. She appreciated my email from Friday. Her family here doesn't want her to go. She doesn't know whether to keep some stuff in here or not, whether to "keep a door open here". However she said she thinks what she did was for the best, in terms of saying good bye to me. My thoughts are that none of this is new. That one Saturday was just an excuse to make a clean break. I still want her back and think she is making an "all or nothing" thing out of this, either she go to xxxx and be with her kids, which means to her closing off contact with me, or she stay in xxxx and give her kids up and be near me. I am thinking of emailing her tomorrow telling her that my sister told me she is leaving in two weeks and that I would like to see her before she goes. Please help! I don't think its hopeless... Even last Friday, she seemed so into me then she sent that email the following Monday. I responded essentially telling her it was not necessary to end our friendship. Since Monday, I have used NC except to tell her it was nice of her to invite my sister out. Any advice would be appreciated.
  18. Some of you may be familiar with my story. If not, it does not matter too much... I'm interested in obtaining some feedback from the female members here on an aspect of my situation. One of the things that my ex said to me when she left me was "I don't see us together in future." I attribute this to two things I have said to her during our 2.5 year relationship: 1) "I am never going to get married again." - I left my wife when she cheated on me, and my ex was chasing me at the same time. So I left my wife to be with my ex. Early on (after my marriage ended) I did say a couple of times that I was not going to get married again. Looking back at this now, it was just a typical comment by a guy who had a broken marriage. My trust was shattered, and I reacted with those comments. I am over that now, and would love to get married again one day to the right person. I believe my ex is the right person. 2) "I do not want children, so what are you going to do about it?". This is possibly the dumbest thing I have ever said to my ex. I believe that this is the biggest single cause of our break up. I said this 2-3 months before we actually broke up. I've been thinking long and hard about this one ever since, and I have come to the realisation that I DO want to have children one day. I have realised that I get embarrassed around children, and do not know what to do around them. I have not had much experience, being an only child myself. My ex even admitted being the same, but she got over it like I will. I do not want to grow old without any of my own children in my life. Although I need to work on this a little more myself, I am truly honest that I want children. I told my ex these things when she broke up with me, but of course it looked like an immediate concession trying to manipulate her back to me. Now that I have had a lot more time to consider marriage and children in my life (we've been separated for 9 weeks now), I know what I want. But how do I effectively relay this to her? She is moving to another city very shortly (I'll be moving there in a few months too [work]). I have put together a letter to her which explains my thoughts about marriage and children, and want to send this to her when she moves to the new city. Is this the best approach? I still think it is too soon to sit down with her to explain this, so don't see that as an option. But I still want to get the message accross to her before she moves on too far and it becomes too late. I'm interested in the opinions of the female members here. How would you feel if you receive a letter explaining this? If you'd like to read a copy of the letter, please PM me and I'll send it to you. Feedback would really be appreciated. Thanks for the time to read this.
  19. Today will be really tough for me as today is my Godson's 2nd Birthday, and I can't do anything to help him celebrate it. Not since his mother decided that, despite the fact I had been there for her through Post Natal Depression, Numerous legal problems with the father of the child, provided love and financial support and most of all helped her get over a misscarriage, loved and help look after the baby everyday for over a year when really it wasn't my responsibility "I have my boyfriend now, I don't need you anymore." Well that was 9 months a go and I haven't trusted anyone since and have become an angry and cynical person, also because of the things described here ( link removed ) who acts like he doesn't care about anyone or anything but himself, but deep down is that loving, caring person who allowed himself to be taken advantage of by someone he thought was his best friend, and who loved his Godson like a son, and today he is 2 years old and I can't do anything to celebrate it other than post on this forum and imagine all the presents he gets and all the fun he will be having, and honestly it tears me apart.
  20. It's hard for me to trust my boyfriend of one year. I don't know if any of you have had this problem, but the main reason (among other mundane issues) for my desire to break way from him is due to the way his family treats me. Brief Intro: He has a four year old son and we are in our early twenties. I go beyond the call of duty for his child. I am playful, sincere, and understanding to my boyfriend and his child. I guess it wouldn't be such a tremendous problem that his mother vividly dislikes me, except that his reaction to her actions are that of a child. His mother is rude to me, for no particular reason, and my boyfriend fails to stick up for me. For example, one time I was in the pool with his child for over an hour and my boyfriend was hanging around outside the pool; this is at his house. His mother slips into the pool and directs the child as follows, "Child Name, why don't you stop playing with Hannah (me) and spend some quality time with your Father (my boyfriend)." I was bewildered that she could be so unappreciative and rude to my face all at once. I waited for several to see if my boyfriend would stick up for me. He failed to, instead he mumbled something I could barely make out. So I took the courtesy to stand up for myself. I guess instead, I wished he had stood up from where he was sitting back, and demanded his mother to apologize to me. Or acknowledge that her comment was unnecessary and rude. That is only one example of the mom-and boyfriend dual I often deal with. I am a student, I study hard, and I am fair. In these situations I feel like my boyfriend is disrespecting me more than his rudely mannered mother, simply because he fails to demand respect for from others. When I approach my boyfriend and confront him with how I feel and that I wish to end our relationship, he says I should ignore his mother the way he does. Is he actually right!? That's certainly not the way I was raised... Any insight on this would be really appreciated. I'm really feeling lost and worthless. Thank You.
  21. Okay, so I met this girl online 2 weeks ago and sent messeges back and forth for a day or two, then we chatted. She told me she has never met and is not interested in meeting someone off the net. At the end of our chat, I now have her phone number and she wants to meet me. So she calls me later and reaffirms that she wants to "hang out". We meet. I took her to a lake to feed ducks. We talked a lot. Then we went out for some chinese, then went back to her place, and then walked to get some ice cream. Then we came back and watched a movie at her place. We didn't sit next to each other. She sat in her fav recliner and I sat on the couch. I REALLY wanted to ask if she'd sit next to me, but my instincts told me if she wanted to, and was comfortable enough, she would somehow move closer over time. Or she could just be shy and is waiting for me to ask her to do it cuz that's happened to me before as well. Anyway, the movie is over and we get online and we show each other's photo albums of when were were kids...and she showed me her parent's pictures and stuff. She gently kicked my foot a few times and then said "Oh, was that your foot?". lol Anyway, I asked if she wanted to go to the state fair with me...and she said she'd like it. Then we talked about going trick or treating together. And then I mentioned some other ideas, and she was ALL for doing those things with me! When I was about to leave, I opened my arms for a hug and she opened hers right back and we had a tight 2 second hug. I definitely didn't feel it was time for "the kiss" yet. I normally have a pretty good gut instinct on when to do thinsg. She had to leave town the next day for a few days, but I got a surprise text message of a smiley face from her. So I'm THINKING that she does like me for more than "just friends". I just need some affirmation. BECAUSE THIS GIRL SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET!!! And it would suck to be "just friends", but I would rather take that than nothing. What do you guys think? I also should mention that she emailed me the next day and said she had a fun time. She said that when we met, it felt like we were old friends. Is that a sign of "Hey let's just be friends" or does it just mean that she felt really comfortable around me for a first meeting and I shouldn't think much of it?
  22. i find myself home on this friday night first time in many years i met this girl 1 year ago and we broke up 3 weeks ago shes all over the board we still talk even though she alreay meet a guy 3 weeks ago and is already sleeping with him on wednesday we went to the beach and hade a couple of drinks and thats when i found out i really dont care shes sleeping with another kid i still want her back because she is so perfect for me its to bad she had to leave before i figurred that out i really want her back when we were together we were perfect except for the ocassinal jelousy fits i would have about fone calls and such anyway i asked her at lest 10 times that if she broke up with the new kid would she give me another chance and every time she said yes she said we will try to remain friends but i am having trouble getting time to spend with her because she is spending alot of time with her new man we talk on the phone olmost every day i think i am doing most of the calling and we have been out twice since the break up i have visted her about 6 other times half ended in fights crying on bolth sides and then mutal agrements to stay in touch i am 19 and she is 18 in a couple of months she starts school again in 2 days and i asked pick her up from work sunday so i could see her before she goes back any way i will wait along time for this girl even though she hurt me so much for another chance because i love her so much it has been preaty rocky but now the break up seems alittle eaiser i was just woundering if any one has ever been able to convince there ex that they have changed and to give them another chance even though the ex has already filled there time with another kid and how they did it? also if anyone has ever been in a sitiation like myself and how did it pan out? any commets or suggetions would be greatly appreatioted
  23. I love my first born daughter more than words can describe. Almost as soon as she and her boyfriend started dating he insisted on her conforming to his standards. At first they were small "changes" she needed to make. It has now come down to choosing between him and her family. I am deeply concerned she's in too deep and cannot see it. I've tried to relate to her how when her mother and I began dating I was in love with who she was, not who I could make her. He has made comments too bizare to believe. I've found her sneaking about to see him. After an extremely hard couple of days a week or so ago I lost it. He and I were to have a discussion, it started by him cursing me out. My gut instinct is to smash him. She's 20 and he's 23. I do not see any way that I can ever accept this young man. I have three daughters, I feel I'm losing my first born to a ??? and do not know what to do!>
  24. I used to treat my wife like a princess. I bought her flowers all the time, gave her massages practically every night, and whenever I had a little extra money, I would surprise her with something special. I even did the dishes every day ;-) When we were pregnant, I treated her even more special. She was never "in the mood", but that didn't really bother me because I was focused on preparing to be a father. Besides that, she was so greatful for me taking such good care of her, she told me many times how good I would have it (in bed) after we settled in our new roles as parents. It's been a year since our child was born, and our lovelife stinks. We have sex once, maybe twice a month if I'm lucky. I say "sex" because there is no passion. She never wants to kiss, be romantic or have foreplay, she just wants to have sex. She's also selfish in bed. I do anything to please her, but she doesn't care to please me. She is sort of like a stereotypical guy. Then suddenly when she decides it's time for us to have another baby, she wants to have sex every night for a week when the time is ripe, then it's back to nothing. I feel like she is just using me for my sperm. She hardly speeks to me, she just sits in front of the computer all the time. It's like we're strangers. When I want to spend time with her, she says she's too tired, but she always seems to have energy for EVERYTHING else. I feel like I'm her absolute last priority. Actually, I'm not even on the list. I've NEVER cheated on anyone in my whole life. The thought of doing something like that has never even crossed my mind... until now. I fantasize about cheating on her all the time. I'm dieing for affection, but she won't listen to me. What should I do?
  25. Hi Just an update on my situation. I have been in nc for about a month now and my ex has started sending me mails and today I went round to her house to take her daughter out swimming (from a previous marriage). I didnt ply the kid for information as thats low but the little girl started telling me about this new guy she started seeing. She says he has a cool car and that he stays the night quite often. Man this broke me to pieces I almost started crying in the car in front of the little girl. I asked my ex about it and she told me that she knew i would ply the kid for info. I didnt do that and I told her i didnt, She said that this new guy she hit it off with him as soon as she met him and they have a "spark" together and she thinks they are a perfect match. She then sat and listed all the bad things about me and why she doesnt want to be with me and then told me about how great this guy was. She said she met the guy before we split up but she never cheated on me and she admitted that he was one of the reasons she split up with me. She said she wanted to be with him and realised how we werent a match anymore because she wouldnt of felt the way she did about this guy so much that she needed to dump me. She told me she hadnt told me about him because she didnt want to hurt me but she said that she was definatley going to go on with her relationship with this guy and see how it goes. She told me she missed me but this new guy made her so happy. She said she wanted to be my friend and she was happy that her daughter was so happy to see me. Is this game over for me? Have I lost this woman completely? What do I do now?
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