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Chaotic Vortex of Fanciful Frenzies

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I started a journal yesterday...today...(I don't know what clock I'm running on these days!) but I didn't like the name so I've started a new one! 

I'm not really sure who I'm writing to...I've thought about it...in my head am I writing to myself...but future me? Am I writing to an imaginary lover? Am I writing to a friend? I'm not entirely sure....and maybe it changes each time depending on what I'm writing about. 

I'm feeling a little insane...ashamed and insane to be honest...I ate SO much sugar last night....WHYYYYYYY, I'm honestly amazed I'm still alive, I'm so extremely lucky and I keep sabotaging all my nine lives!....THat's how it feels....somebody has decided to give me many lives just like a cat...I'm not sure how I got so lucky but I really feel I need to start respecting it...

The birds are singing. I'm feeling anxious...anxious about giving the dogs back today and looking and feeling like death.....anxious about handling my emotions surrounding ***** (I'm not going to type his name...) 

I've decided to create some boundaries around social media and messaging....I feel like twice a day is plenty of time to respond to messages and check in with the world, the rest of the time I don't need to, I don't want to spend my life through a screen and watching other peoples lives. It starts to feel not real and then it feels like you can't live without it. 

Anyway...for anyone curious.....I'm a 34 year old....still living with their father...mildly dotty (aren't we all?) woman...fairy...mystical being.....pretty normal human...take your pick. 


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It's the suga, sugar...

I'm not a big sugar or sweet fan (not that I don't indulge from time to time but at times like this I get why people reach for sweet things) it's more about the texture of sweet I think than the sickly sweet...again though...8 spoons from a jar of peanut butter...I can still feel the sickly after taste...even that is too sweet for me!

Carbs are my no no, I rather have a big ole loaf of bread any day, bread...wholewheat and seeded...yum yum yum

Yes well....I hope with your journaling, laying out your thoughts and feelings, it will help ease those anxious feelings and concerns. Of course you may have a certain 'someone' in mind each time. Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad you find some peace when penning to paper.

Let us know how pups do after you've kindly taken care of them.

Wishing you smooth days.

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