CuriousKitten

Thank you so much ShySoul for your kind words 🙂 it's funny I've actually never really thought of myself as a planner but maybe I should start embracing that! Thank you for the advice, I ended up having a day of just relaxation today and decided to just let myself have that time, when I had a bf it was a bit easier to let my relax as I had someone to say, it's ok to take to take that time to just relax so it helped me to not feel so guilty so I'm trying to be a bit more friendly to myself and oddly I think it probably ends up in me being more productive in the long run! 🙂 and hopefully a nicer person to be around 😛

Thank you delmarvusa that's so kind ❤️ I'm actually feeling incredibly excited because I passed a pretty big test relating to my course today and although I still have a heap to go I could never see myself being able to do this a year ago so that's really exciting ☺️ I haven't kept this up lately as a lot was going on with my tests and also my birthday so I'll give a little update 😉 if anyone else wants to share their goals too that would be lovely, I love cheering other people on too! What has been going well!! 1) I am making big steps towards finishing my course! ❤️ I think I can almost see the finish line! 2) Getting regular 8-9 hours sleep each night 3) Sticking to my morning routine 4) Feeding myself nutritious and delicious meals 😉 5) Getting outdoors at least once a day Goals for the rest of April 1) Book in and hopefully pass at least 2 more nutritional consultations 2) Get back in to dancing/gym/stretching 3) Find a part time job ideally working with animals or health 4) Revise - Create questions for all nine lectures 5) Watch Clinic videos to get clear on paperwork during clinic 6) Try one new social activity Buona notte ❤️ Sogni d'oro

So...we start as we mean to go on 😉 updates for the day: What didn't go so well: 1) I was exhausted from no sleep as the dogs I was looking after had diarrhoea all night which meant my brain was not functioning all that well for the day 🙈 2) Ate chocolate biscuits for lunch.... What did go well: 1) I got outside 2) I did my contortion practice for the first time in 3 months! 3) I ate two healthy meals today

haha thank you, does it count if I'm only watching the early seasons? I've never seen the late ones, I have no idea how they've managed to keep it going so long!! You are extremely right ❤️I like this idea and have made a list for tomorrow 😉

I started a journal yesterday...today...(I don't know what clock I'm running on these days!) but I didn't like the name so I've started a new one! I'm not really sure who I'm writing to...I've thought about it...in my head am I writing to myself...but future me? Am I writing to an imaginary lover? Am I writing to a friend? I'm not entirely sure....and maybe it changes each time depending on what I'm writing about. I'm feeling a little insane...ashamed and insane to be honest...I ate SO much sugar last night....WHYYYYYYY, I'm honestly amazed I'm still alive, I'm so extremely lucky and I keep sabotaging all my nine lives!....THat's how it feels....somebody has decided to give me many lives just like a cat...I'm not sure how I got so lucky but I really feel I need to start respecting it... The birds are singing. I'm feeling anxious...anxious about giving the dogs back today and looking and feeling like death.....anxious about handling my emotions surrounding ***** (I'm not going to type his name...) I've decided to create some boundaries around social media and messaging....I feel like twice a day is plenty of time to respond to messages and check in with the world, the rest of the time I don't need to, I don't want to spend my life through a screen and watching other peoples lives. It starts to feel not real and then it feels like you can't live without it. Anyway...for anyone curious.....I'm a 34 year old....still living with their father...mildly dotty (aren't we all?) woman...fairy...mystical being.....pretty normal human...take your pick.

I love this idea, of a public Journal. I've written diaries ever since I was 5 but I've never written them so that other people can read them. I wouldn't want anyone I know seeing this but also...maybe I don't care anymore? Maybe....secretly I do want the to see? But I'm just not brave enough to do it...and also...would anyone even care??? I feel like the only real secret in my life is that...I'm still pining over an ex and I still talk to him occasionaly, I'm trying to phase it out but I can't say that this desire is an all over full bodied desire. A small part of me.....really does. not. want. that. ever. I'm so incapable of being with my own thoughts these days I have a program on in the background. I've binged on chocolate all day. I've checked my messages anxiously every 5 to 30 minutes. I haven't done anything I needed to do besides going for a walk. I inherited a huge amount of money last year which was unbelievably life changing and I HOPe IT will help me to finish my course and get me to be able to do a job that makes me feel a sense of purpose but I'm stressed that I'm spending it too fast. I'm scared I will lose it. I'm scared of a lot of things. I wonder what it would be like to not be scared.....would that mean that I don't care anymore? I don't know. I try and I try and I try, it's not working though. I really miss having someone, we support each other, but even in my last relationship I supported him so much more than he supported me, but I don't know anything else....I don't think I know how to be supported. I haven't had sex in SO long...ok...well I guess it could be worse...I think it was late january/early february...I wonder if I'll ever have sex again....if I do...will it be good?! Ah well....I'm supposed to be going to sleep within the next half an hour but I feel a bit high on sugar....BRILLIANT. See you all tomorrow for more madness or nothingness....however you wish to interpret. BISOUS xo

Thank you Cherylyn, that's really lovely advice ❤️ I think I'm also so used to writing to my ex and talking to him about my day in this way that this might also be another way to stop me hopefully reaching out to him and searching for his validation in some way 🫠

Hello 🙂 Lately I've been really struggling and I know that this is a huge pattern for me. I find it really hard to make new friends I feel safe to rely on and I've also tried to online date but I never seem to want to agree to take it to the next step of actually meeting up. My birthday is also next week, I'll be turning 34 and I feel I've really let myself down in so many ways, it's also always a reminder of how alone I feel. Made worse as I'm a twin and it just reminds me of how our relationship is one of the biggest causes of shame and sadness for me 😞 I go through periods of time where I'm doing quite well I'm studying, eating well, exercising and then I go downhill and everything stops and I'm living off sugar and spending my days feeling sad and hopeless. I would love to have a support system here online, also for any other lonely souls out there who are also struggling maybe we could share what our goals are and keep each other accountable to them each day? We could share what our daily struggles were and what maybe went well? Sort of somewhere to help each other to stay on track? Like a shared goals diary? I guess I'll start! What didn't go so well..... 1) I ate two whole easter eggs all by myself..... 2) Texted my ex which then just made me feel anxious and unloveable as it's always a reminder of horrible things...felt horribly shameful that I STILL have an attachment.... 3) Avoided my financial issues 4) Didn't study at all... 5) Watched too much grey's.... What did go well! 🙂 1) I went for a walk 2) I got bread for my father like I promised I would 3 MONTH GOAL! 1) Pass my nutrition studies 2) Get an income that still enables me to finish my course 3) eat healthy nutritious meals most of the time and stop binge eating! 4) Get back in to exercise/dance/stretching that I love! 4) Develop self-trust and self-discipline 5) maybe go on some dates! 6) Keep improving my skills on the harp and maybe start singing lessons!