Daily Support <3

[CuriousKitten]

Hello 🙂 

Lately I've been really struggling and I know that this is a huge pattern for me. I find it really hard to make new friends I feel safe to rely on and I've also tried to online date but I never seem to want to agree to take it to the next step of actually meeting up. My birthday is also next week, I'll be turning 34 and I feel I've really let myself down in so many ways, it's also always a reminder of how alone I feel. Made worse as I'm a twin and it just reminds me of how our relationship is one of the biggest causes of shame and sadness for me 😞

I go through periods of time where I'm doing quite well I'm studying, eating well, exercising and then I go downhill and everything stops and I'm living off sugar and spending my days feeling sad and hopeless. I would love to have a support system here online, also for any other lonely souls out there who are also struggling maybe we could share what our goals are and keep each other accountable to them each day? We could share what our daily struggles were and what maybe went well? Sort of somewhere to help each other to stay on track? Like a shared goals diary? 

I guess I'll start! 

What didn't go so well.....

1) I ate two whole easter eggs all by myself.....

2) Texted my ex which then just made me feel anxious and unloveable as it's always a reminder of horrible things...felt horribly shameful that I STILL have an attachment....

3) Avoided my financial issues

4) Didn't study at all...

5) Watched too much grey's....

What did go well! 🙂

1) I went for a walk

2) I got bread for my father like I promised I would

3 MONTH GOAL!

1) Pass my nutrition studies

2) Get an income that still enables me to finish my course 

3) eat healthy nutritious meals most of the time and stop binge eating! 

4) Get back in to exercise/dance/stretching that I love! 

4) Develop self-trust and self-discipline

5) maybe go on some dates! 

6) Keep improving my skills on the harp and maybe start singing lessons! 

 

 

 

 

 

[Cherylyn]

A good way to meet new friends is to join a club or clubs such as whatever interests you prefer whether it's hobbies,  sports,  intellectual pursuits or whatever.   People won't come to you.  You have to go to them.  If you're faith based,  try your local church.  If you're willing,  get involved with your community and volunteer at various charities. 

Your 3 month goals sound like a positive step in the right direction.  🙂 👍

[CuriousKitten]

Thank you Cherylyn, that's really lovely advice ❤️ I think I'm also so used to writing to my ex and talking to him about my day in this way that this might also be another way to stop me hopefully reaching out to him and searching for his validation in some way 🫠

[Cherylyn]

Happy early Birthday for next week @CuriousKitten 🐈 🐱 💗

Like you,  there were so many times when I too sought validation from people who didn't think I mattered much or from people who've soured me in the past.  It's unhealthy to continue ruminating. 

Whenever I feel down,  I go out and exercise weather permitting.  Fresh air does a world of good for one's soul.  Also,  getting together with a friend or friends several times a month.  Many times,  you have to do the initiating.  Everyone's busy but in order to make it happen,  often times,  you have to make the first move to set a date and time even if it's for a walk,  sitting on a park bench,  meeting for coffee or tea or the like.  You have to start somewhere.  Being a shut in is mentally and physically unhealthy.

Even though validation cleanses your soul,  unfortunately,  the other person couldn't care less.  They're not preoccupied with you as much as you are.  Most likely,  they've moved on and keep moving forward with their lives as should you.

What helps me is to become industrious in any capacity.  Declutter, clean, get something done, work hard,  take care of errands,  chores or do something productive.  Limit screen time.  Days or weeks can go by before I have any screen time as screens become a huge time trap.  ☹️

[Batya33]

What do you do for work and what ways do you move your body each day whether an exercise routine or as part of  your day?

[Kwothe28]

12 hours ago, CuriousKitten said:

5) Watched too much grey's....

Please stop!!!! Because of you Ellen Pompeo still needs to do that wretched show and she is tired. Release her of the burden please! It has 21 seasons counting the one they will film. 21!

Anyway, one thing at the time, as they say. What Ive found out is that lots of things that needs fixing are connected. For example, finding some work and fixing your income, as well as finishing your studies, will make you less stresful. Which in turn will make you stop “binge eating”. I also have time management issues. So found writing lists that I can cross after I finish some task very helpful. So could be a nice idea for you too. For example

1) eat healthy breakfast

2) Send CV on few places

3) study for an hour

etc.

[CuriousKitten]

9 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Please stop!!!! Because of you Ellen Pompeo still needs to do that wretched show and she is tired. Release her of the burden please! It has 21 seasons counting the one they will film. 21!

Anyway, one thing at the time, as they say. What Ive found out is that lots of things that needs fixing are connected. For example, finding some work and fixing your income, as well as finishing your studies, will make you less stresful. Which in turn will make you stop “binge eating”. I also have time management issues. So found writing lists that I can cross after I finish some task very helpful. So could be a nice idea for you too. For example

1) eat healthy breakfast

2) Send CV on few places

3) study for an hour

etc.

haha thank you, does it count if I'm only watching the early seasons? I've never seen the late ones, I have no idea how they've managed to keep it going so long!! You are extremely right ❤️I like this idea and have made a list for tomorrow 😉 

[CuriousKitten]

So...we start as we mean to go on 😉 updates for the day: 

What didn't go so well:

1) I was exhausted from no sleep as the dogs I was looking after had diarrhoea all night which meant my brain was not functioning all that well for the day 🙈

2) Ate chocolate biscuits for lunch....

What did go well:

1) I got outside

2) I did my contortion practice for the first time in 3 months! 

3) I ate two healthy meals today

[delmarvausa]

Hi there @CuriousKitten! I think it's great that you are looking at goals and areas in which you can achieve.....after all, lots of people TALK about change, but you are actually mapping out some concrete paths and making an effort. I agree it helps to have an "accountability partner" but it's not necessary for your personal growth; changes come from within, not always because they are shared.

 

With that said, please consider focusing more on the positive side of things? Example; you did some exercises and stretching and it made you feel great, right? Why not sit down and list the reasons WHY that made you happy, or feel fulfilled, or more energetic, and keep that with you as a reminder. This way you're constantly reinforcing the positive steps taken and working to put the progress front and center in your life. That's the spirit of "wanting to become better". 🙂😍

[CuriousKitten]

Thank you delmarvusa that's so kind ❤️ I'm actually feeling incredibly excited because I passed a pretty big test relating to my course today and although I still have a heap to go I could never see myself being able to do this a year ago so that's really exciting ☺️ I haven't kept this up lately as a lot was going on with my tests and also my birthday so I'll give a little update 😉 if anyone else wants to share their goals too that would be lovely, I love cheering other people on too! 

What has been going well!! 

1) I am making big steps towards finishing my course! ❤️ I think I can almost see the finish line! 

2) Getting regular 8-9 hours sleep each night

3) Sticking to my morning routine

4) Feeding myself nutritious and delicious meals 😉

5) Getting outdoors at least once a day 

Goals for the rest of April

1) Book in and hopefully pass at least 2 more nutritional consultations 

2) Get back in to dancing/gym/stretching

3) Find a part time job ideally working with animals or health

4) Revise - Create questions for all nine lectures 

5) Watch Clinic videos to get clear on paperwork during clinic 

6) Try one new social activity 

Buona notte ❤️ Sogni d'oro 

[ShySoul]

Hi CuriousKitten. I'll throw in my support for your project. This is really a great idea and something a lot of people could benefit from (myself included). You're a planner, which is going to benefit you greatly. Just don't be too hard on yourself. Be honest, but try to stay positive. 

Congratulations on passing the test and hope you had an awesome birthday.

 

[CuriousKitten]

Thank you so much ShySoul for your kind words 🙂 it's funny I've actually never really thought of myself as a planner but maybe I should start embracing that! Thank you for the advice, I ended up having a day of just relaxation today and decided to just let myself have that time, when I had a bf it was a bit easier to let my relax as I had someone to say, it's ok to take to take that time to just relax so it helped me to not feel so guilty so I'm trying to be a bit more friendly to myself and oddly I think it probably ends up in me being more productive in the long run! 🙂 and hopefully a nicer person to be around 😛   

[ShySoul]

If your going full steam ahead all the time and always have to be doing something, you'll eventually burn out from exhaustion and stress. Taking a day to relax and recharge is best for your physical and mental health. It does make you more productive and overall more pleasant and happy.

A long time ago I read somewhere that you shouldn't do the same thing for more then two hours at a time. I think that's supposed to keep you more active and better focused. So if I'm at work I'll take a quick break every couple hours to stretch or take a walk. I'll allow myself to watch a show, but limit it to an episode or two so I don't sit there all day and do nothing else. Just a thought 

Keep up the good work.