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Cherylyn

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Cherylyn last won the day on November 6 2020

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  1. Only you know when it's time to say your final good-byes to your cat. My 14 year old Golden Retriever collapsed in the garage after our evening walk. She had been limping badly and slowing down for the last 4 years. We knew she was in pain. The decision to euthanize her came when she couldn't take another step one dark, chilly January night. She was groaning in distress. My husband had to carry all 70 pounds of her into the house. We placed her on a blanket, loaded her into the car and made the miserable drive to the local 24 hour veterinary hospital. The veterinarian diagnosed her with a tumor which had burst on her liver. She died of cancer which is common in dogs. With our two sons, we've owned the following pets: Goldfish, next an aquarium filled with lots of fish, rabbits, lizards (which I had to feed meal works and crickets every week), cats, dogs and hamsters. We're done with pets. Note my sister just adopted her second puppy. I'll admire other people's pets from afar from now on. ๐Ÿ™‚
  2. If he "needs time to process his thoughts," this means, he's leaning towards "no," he does not see a future with you and as he had stated previously, being friendly with you electronically and inquiring about the dog is all he is willing to give of himself. If this isn't good enough for you, it's time to go your separate ways permanently. You can end it diplomatically by texting that you wish him all the best and it's time to part ways permanently. He should get your message and if he can't figure this out by using his common sense, ignore, ghost, block and delete him permanently. Make a clean break. Don't wait. Move on for real.
  3. My extended relatives, some friends and acquaintances chose not to have children and they've found common partners or spouses who share their same views. They're satisfied with their decision. Times have changed. It's more expensive to raise children than ever before. Inflation hasn't kept up with wages; similar to real estate. It's not unusual to find people who have no desire for children. I don't think differences in wanting children vs. not wanting children is a deal breaker especially if it's just dating and there isn't any long term, serious commitment in the horizon. The topic of children is more important if the relationship will tend to endure beyond the dating phase.
  4. My mother taught me long ago and that the secret to happiness and peace of mind is gratitude so I count my blessings everyday.
  5. Don't confront him because you already know he's a liar, deceives you and betrays your trust in him. There is nothing to confront and if you do, he'll become defensive, gaslight you (deflect) and you're simply wasting your time and energy. He's immoral and dishonorable. He lacks integrity. He will never respect you. It's time to dissolve and exit the relationship permanently.
  6. I hear you, boltnrun. My golden retriever was euthanized at age 14 and it was one of the hardest days of my life. She was extremely well behaved, intelligent, quiet, calm and beautiful. She was truly man's or woman's best friend to the truest sense of the word. I miss her sorely everyday. I'm sorry, boltnrun. Know that you gave your cat a GREAT life and no other person could give her a better life than you did. May she RIP.
  7. Thank you for your kind words, Buzz86. Stop fantasizing because fantasy is the opposite of reality. If you continue to fantasize who is perfect for you, you'll be forever disappointed because your ideal fantasy will not match real life. I've observed people both successful and prosperous males and females. They share common traits. Keep in mind that if you want a catch whether in a lady or a male friend, you have to have that draw. Usually, that draw stems from financial independence, achievements and thriving in your life. Most people are attracted to winners. I've noticed that a lot of people who attract high quality people don't have to try so hard to search. It is they who can suddenly afford to become very picky and choosy. If you stick with your original plan with concentrating on your education and career, everything else falls into place. You'll have more to offer compared to now. Often times, people don't see your struggle or the long painstaking road it took to arrive at your successful destination. They flock to you as you enjoy the fruits of your labor. This is human nature. Focus on making the grade instead of wallowing in your misery with all due respect. Time goes by so fast if you have a vision for your career and meet those goals. Then suddenly, you'll be so popular that you will be the one who will decline due to lack of time to squeeze everyone into your schedule or life. Remember, haste makes waste. Prioritize your life and good times come later. Work hard today and enjoy coasting later. I speak from experience. Regarding friendships or relationships, successful people are doing what you're doing. They're concentrating on education, career and getting ahead in life. Then when it's time to enjoy socializing at their leisure, they have a grand time because eventually there will be more time to do so. You'll elevate yourself in social class, demographics and socioeconomic class. Until then, make wise use of your time and prioritize your education and career first. If you're impatient, you can join organizations as others had suggested. However, keep in mind, your time is limited and with limited time, you'll end up sacrificing relationships or friendships. Regarding other people of the same age tending to engage in trivial stuff, don't pay attention to them because whatever makes them happy is their shallow business and shouldn't matter to you. Don't be preoccupied with other people. Remain focused on your responsibilities and priorities right now. Your hard work will pay off. Everything else will fall into place AFTER you set your priorities straight. You will have more to offer later which is a good life for a long term commitment, marriage and perhaps a family. You will rise up the ranks socially with friends whom you have more in common with regarding your profession, values, character and class. Remain patient!
  8. Stop at the wallet level meaning don't buy the food she likes, clothing, cell phone bill and any expenses every month, don't wash her laundry, etc. Perhaps tightening the reigns will grab her attention. Then have the discussion regarding her share of responsibilities and pulling her weight in the household.
  9. Your boyfriend is very abusive. I wouldn't introduce him to my family. Consider him short term material. Your relationship will not endure with him which is obvious. He is a shameful embarrassment.
  10. Yes, ask him to be your date for the wedding. Enjoy the reception, too. Have a great time!
  11. Trust is everything in relationships, friendships, all of it. Without trust, there is nothing. I don't trust people with bad reputations. However, my real trust issues are from how a person treats me and others due to my experience with them. My observation and experience with that person are more important than someone's reputation. I agree with him. Both of you should split up. Let him get over his ex and move on with your life. He shouldn't tell you to work on yourself. He doesn't get to dictate what you choose to do with your life. Once there's a split, he needs to mind his business. He doesn't have the right to tell you not to go with another guy. It's not his decision to make. Working on yourself is a choice you make whether you want it or not. You are the one who deals with the consequences. Your life's experiences will teach you how to navigate your life. I agree that you shouldn't waste your time on a man who isn't serious about you nor has sincere intentions regarding any long term commitment. I don't believe cheaters, liars, deceivers and betrayers. I don't trust them. (I don't trust gaslighters either.) They're all a tricky, sneaky lot. They're slick. He calls you at 4AM, asks if you're awake and jokes about a girl who just left his home. You need to ditch this loser. If you're having these issues after only 4 months, it's time to go your separate ways permanently.
  12. I've been married for a long time. I'm not particularly fond of my local in-laws and relatives and their insistence upon family gatherings in homes or restaurants several times a year. My husband and sons enjoy these gatherings. I don't always make an appearance but I do most of the time out of family obligations and being a good sport. Relationships or marriages require compromises within reason. Both of you need to cooperate somewhere regarding both sides of your family trees otherwise this argument will never go away. As for gifts for her or gifts for yourself, again, both of you need to resolve this otherwise heated arguments, resentment and bitterness will ensue. If you have doubts in your mind, perhaps she's not the one for you long term. You will know when your patience runs out.
  13. Coordinating schedules and cooperation are required to make dating work with jobs and school. Also, remain mature and realistic regarding limited time. Relationships can endure as long as no one is selfish nor demanding. There needs to be a lot of flexibility and empathy in order for busy relationships to thrive and survive. My story is different. When my husband was enrolled in grad school, our sons and I had to back off in order for him to succeed. His time was very limited so I picked up a lot of slack while taking care of everything at the home front and raised our sons so he could excel which eventually benefited our household later. I knew he was extremely busy with work and school so I made sure the rest of us didn't burden him with demands on his time, labor and energy. It was stressful to support him with home cooked meals at his convenience (packed and eating on the go), making sure the kids were tended and not bothering him and making his life convenient. However, we've reaped what we've sown years later. No pain, no gain. Being organized is key.
  14. There is a generation gap to consider. She's still so young and you're a full fledged adult already. Both of you are at different stages in life. The maturity level isn't there yet for the 19 year old vs. your being soon to be age 26. She's barely out of high school and you've been in the adult world for several years now. Never confuse wishful thinking with reality. It's better to date girls closer to your age because you'll have more in common and can relate better.
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