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Found 14 results

  1. Why does this happen? LOL. I've gone from being super into somebody to feeling completely repulsed to them out of nowhere. Don't ask me why coz I haven't the foggiest 💁‍♀️ Actually it's pretty upsetting to go from one extreme to another where you see a future with them and then you have to reject them somewhat abruptly. Our first date was pretty middle of the road, but our second date was fantastic, I left feeling completely overcome with excitement and we had so much fun together. We waited a week for the third date? Perhaps it was just too soon for him to visit my house. In any case pretty much as soon as we started our hangout, something changed in my mentality, my perception of him became increasingly more negative throughout the evening even while nothing stood out as a turn off. I'm seeing a pattern because this has happened a few times with several different guys and I cant understand why my attraction switches on and off so much.
  2. So things took a weird turn, after acting cold/distant, my GF became, like before, sweet/romantic/sexual... Yesterday we kept texting from 11:00PM all the way to almost 3AM... She then started asking about my past relationships/ex-girlfriends... So I found it only natural and fair to ask about hers as well. Maybe that was a mistake. She then explained she previously talked to 3 other guys but those didn't work out. Aaaand... she casually namedropped some random guy... (Now I think I know who he is, we shared the same classroom in the 5th grade... ages ago now...) Her: "Hey do you know some <guy's name here>?" Me: "Ummm no..." Her: "There's a <guy's name> from your town who says he studied with you..." Me: "No, I don't think I remember him..." Me, starting to feel uneasy: "Well, I think you found your guy LOL..."(Referring to me...) Her: "Hmmm... Do you consider yourself an open-minded person?" Me, now feeling even more uncomfortable...: "Of course!" Her: "Going to bed babe, love you! 🙂 ". What happened here?
  3. Hi guys, so I am M(24) ex F(22) we were together for 18 months and lived together for around 1 year of that. She first broke up with me 2 and a half months ago but she immediately regretted that decision and we got back together 1 hour later. That lasted 2 weeks then she broke up with me again. After 2 days of begging I went No contact and have not reached out since. After the breakup, It took her only a week for her to go on holiday to a different country and move into her 'friends' place who she's know for 5 years and become a official relationship on facebook with this guy. So she's living her dream - living somewhere free, no job and this guy is spoiling her. This guy is not her usual type. Throughout the next month she has blocked and unblocked me a couple times, bearing in mind I have not even reached out in any way. So I find out they are now engaged! Exactly 2 months after our breakup. A day after her engagement announcement she unblocked me from Instagram! This is when I start to realize she is most likely a narc and started looking back on the red flags. I just want your opinions / thoughts. This is all very new and painful to me. Is she a Narc? How can you move on that quickly? Why unblock me to see? Will they ride off into the sunset? Thanks in advance.
  4. So I'm interested in this girl (never spoken to her or seen her in real life) and she is the best friend of a female friend of mine. I asked her about her, how she is like and if she is single. But it seems like she is talking to a guy. What do I do from here? Do i still ask her out, wait, forget her and move on? For the info im 22 and shes 19/20 Thanks for reading and replying in advance
  5. I need to give a lot of context here so I'm sorry if this is long. Also, it may be a lot of rambling that's all over the place so sorry again. So I have a crush on a coworker. He's really nice, understanding, and we have A LOT in common. He would stop by my office or I would go by his and we would talk for the longest time about everything. He and I both just so happen to be really good at keeping eye contact so when we talk, he is usually staring at me directly in my eyes. There have been times when I caught his eyes wandering and there were times where our eyes would meet. For example, one day I was just coming to work and I was driving in the parking deck to the third floor. He had just got out of his vehicle and he locked eyes with me as I was driving up the parking deck. We both are a little shy around each other. We haven't touched once (meaning a gentle touch of the arm or a hug). Also he just recently broke up with his gf (like last week) so this whole time has been just he and I having friendly conversations (out of respect of him being in a relationship). Well, today is his last day here (he is transferring to a new job). Friday, I asked him to stop by my office before he left for the day to say goodbye. He waited until the end of the day (when most of the office was gone) and came by. I told him how happy I was that I got to work with him and I'm going to miss him. He proceeded to thank me for being real and for being a good friend. I gave him a congratulations card. In that card, I wrote a little note that basically said "thank you for being a good friend. I'll miss you" blah blah. I also included my contact information. When I gave him the card, he told me he would read it later and not in front of me because that would be "awkward" lol. No text or email or anything over the weekend which is fine. Well, today, he stopped by my office and gave me HIS number on a note that said if I need anything to contact him. Weird. I did not expect that especially after I just gave him my number. Am I crazy for thinking any of this stuff means anything? Should I use his number? Help. TL;DR: My crush gave me his number unprovoked after I gave him mines in a greeting card. What does that mean and should I use it?
  6. I have been dating a girl for about half a year, and lately I have been wondering whether the relationship between us is healthy and if it should go on. The reasons why I think I should breakup are: 1. I feel that I am attracted to other girls more than to her 2. We don't have enough things in common. We like different music\series\movies\food\books\... We also have different taste in things. 3. We have different lifestyles, I am an engineer, I like to read books, learn things, I always look for ways to improve my life and have a better future. and she spends most of her time with friends, or watching TV, or just spending time doing nothing at home. 4. Sometimes I feel she is needy The reasons why I think I should keep the relationship: 1. She is really a very good person, she cares about me, and loves me too much 2. I feel she is very loyal to me On one hand, I feel I should breakup, on the other hand, I am afraid to regret this. I would appreciate any advice you can give. Thanks
  7. Me and my boyfriend have been in a long-distance relationship for 1 year. We are grown adults. He's the sweetest guy I've ever known. My whole family liked him. Not only was he my lover he was my best friend too. I had a miserable life before I met him. He helped me so much to get back on my feet and be the best version of me. Last few months of our relationship was a mess, we argued but over small things. I was just frustrated because I couldn't see him often as I would like. Two days ago I asked him what is wrong and continued to tell him about things he was recently doing that i didn't like (nothing bad like texting other girls, going out with girls... just minor things) He saw that as if I was attacking him which was not the case, i just wanted to find out what's happening and how we can solve this. He got upset by it and said that we need to break up. When I read that my heart shattered into pieces, a man who I love and planned to have a future with him, no longer wants to be with me. I send him a long text message explaining my side and telling him how I truly feel about him, he just saw the message and didn't respond. I don't know if he needs time or something. I just know that I'm shattered, this is the case of "either we get married or it will be the worst heart break ever". I can't sleep, I can't eat. I'm crying all day, I want to scream on top of my lungs because it hurts me so much. I'm praying that he will come back, my life is truly miserable without him. It's been 3 days since the break up. I don't know how the male brain works, is he taking time to cool off or does he just not care anymore? Few days prior to this he send me a long message telling me that he wants me to be his wife and have kids with me, I can't believe this is happening right now. I'm hoping that he'll respond today, because i told him how happy he made me feel and that i want him to stay in my life. I know I probably should leave him alone for now but it's so hard, I'm used to talking to him all day every day. I literally cannot do anything besides being in my room and crying, I'm crying while writing this. I'm so miserable, I want to be strong but I can't. If someone has a similar story or advice on what should I do I would be happy to hear.
  8. Sorry if this is long but there is a lot to digest here. Little back story I work at an IT company in a sales management position and the female in question is a customer service rep on my team. I am 33 and single. We have been working together for about 3 years and until about 6 months ago we had a normal work relationship. We were friendly with each other but I couldnt tell you one thing about her and I didnt have any sort of feelings. Back about 6 months ago we started to become very close with each other at work. It is to the point that despite the fact that we work on opposite ends of our office floor she is constantly coming over to my desk to talk to me whether it is personal related or business related. However the business related questions are so simple she could easily call me on my phone or email me but she ALWAYS does it in person. We have gotten to the point at work that everyone is convinced there is something going on between us when there really is not. We do flirt with each other all day but in a completely non sexual sort of way, making fun of each other, laughing together, and generally just spending a large portion of the work day hanging out. We also have a weekly "date night" where one of us will cook a homeade meal for the other and bring it in on a Friday and we will sit together and have a "date". I have now developed strong feelings for this woman and according to everyone else at work it is obvious she has feelings for me based off of her interactions with me and the way we interact with each other. Here is where the story takes a turn, this girl has a boyfriend that works in HR at the company, and he just started working here about a year ago. They have been dating for almost 3 years total. So I am in a tough position where I cannot really reveal to this girl how I truly feel, but it is more than obvious that we both have strong feelings for each other. I am not really sure what to do, I know revealing my feelings to her is probably off the table because of the boyfriend etc, but at the same time I have completely fallen for this girl. Anyone have any idea what to do next in this tricky position? We also never talk about her relationship and she used to up until recently, now whenever she talks or tells stories its like her boyfriend doesnt exist, its like she has flipped a switch with me where she will not talk about him or anything they do anymore. I have never seen this guy in person as he works at our corporate headquarter office, so I am not sure he even realizes what is going on.
  9. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up three months ago after five and the half years of relationship. We are both in our forties. She said she doesn't love me anymore and that she doesn’t have any feelings for me for a longer period of time. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but there were a lot of beautiful moments as well. We share a lot of happy and nice memories. She had a lot of issues and I was always there for her to help her and support her, and moreover to love her in that moments. At the end of the relationship, I had issues and instead of getting the same support from her, she found another guy and dumped me. She forced me to move out from our mutual apartment. During this last three months, those beautiful moments we had were all over my mind, more or less every day, and I feel regret that she has left me. But I managed to move on and worked a lot to improve myself and I made a progress. But at the same time I kept calling her to come and visit me in my new apartment. And then, last Friday she came to my apartment, we had a good time and we had sex. She stayed overnight. Yesterday she came again and we had a really good and passionate sex. But all the time she was telling me that she is satisfied with the new guy and that she is going to stay in the new relationship. When I asked her for the reason, she said that he treats her good, he is funny and that she is in a way taking advantage of him (something like he is paying for all the food). When I told her that I’m seeing someone else too, she started to cry and she said that she likes me the way I am now and that she feels regret I was not like that before when we were together. I told her that she can leave him and that we can try something again, but she categorically refused that. She said that she wants to be with him and maybe one day in the future, who knows, we are going to be together again, but not now. I'm also sure that she came to me and cheated on him, because she doesn't care about him at all. But she said that is not the truth and that she fell in love with him. I was quite fine, but now I feel distressed almost like three months ago. So this just brought me harm. So why did she come to be with me? Does she really know what she wants? Who does she love?
  10. Hey, ENA. Welcome to part one of the new PDN5 series called "shouting into the void about his past and present problems." For context, I am a 26-year-old man. Relationship Problems and Break-Up I broke up with a long-term girlfriend (23 F), call her R, almost three months ago. Things with R were not going well. Here is why. Problems. Views on Children. I was originally open to children when entering my relationship. R really wanted/wants biological children: that became apparent we got to know each other better, and especially in the last several months. (Of course, that's totally okay). I started going to therapy for our relationship problems last December. During the course of that therapy, my therapist and I realized that there was a complex moral issue that was causing me mental turmoil. I likely didn't want to accept it because I knew it probably would affect or end the relationship. Essentially, for moral reasons, I realized I should not have biological children. After I came to terms with this and told R, we stayed together for a while - maybe a month or two - but it affected us, and eventually, I knew that would likely remain an irreconcilable difference. COVID-19 Restrictions. R was very, very, very worried about the pandemic - at their core, the worries were for good reason, because some of her family were at greater risk of serious illness. I tried to work within her parameters, but they became unreasonable and began to affect our relationship. To illustrate how far it went, it became tough to see even my small immediate family because, if I did, I would not see my girlfriend for two weeks. That extended to responsible friends, even while outside, 1-1. While I've been a responsible citizen of the world during this pandemic, I am an independent guy who likes his freedom. Additionally, I haven't always gotten along with my immediate family so well. We are in a good place now, for the first time in my life. I really value them, so knowing there would be consequences put an unfair strain on seeing them. (I tried to be reasonable - "Hey, R, let's go and wear masks the whole time?"). Eventually, hope was on the horizon because the vaccines were coming out. But then - she was fearful of all of the vaccines, too. She believed without any scientific basis (she has a degree in a natural science, so this was surprising) that there was a substantial chance that the vaccines would cause fertility issues. So, not only were all of those limitations on my seeing others becoming unreasonable and difficult, but I also saw no end in sight to them. It became too much. Sex and Communication. Though I try to be a giving partner in this department, R eventually stopped giving earnest effort here. It felt like sex was for her benefit mostly. In many cases that is okay - I am a giving partner - but I don't like feeling neglected or not working together in this department. I communicated concerns to her, but doing so just seemed to make a difference once and then the habits would continue. Intuitively, I chalk it up to being interested in different things sexually - perhaps she obliged my interests for a while. No one's fault, just incompatible here. Misc. Communication was not easy. She would not let me support her as a partner, i.e., help her with tasks like resume/applying for jobs (I help a lot of my friends with resumes, usually with success) or driving (she was for most of our relationship without a driver license - in her early 20s. Early in our relationship, she hid this fact from me out of embarrassment, but when I wondered why she was always having me or her parents driving her around, she eventually told me. I only wanted to be a supportive partner and help - she should be able to drive to see me on occasion instead of parents dropping her off). For the second half of the relationship, I paid for everything: food, dates, gifts. I understand I had a job and she was not in a steady job, but once in a while doing something like picking up McDonald's for us would have been nice. She often acted spoiled or child-like: it at times felt like I had a daughter instead of a partner. Probably as a result, I often felt uncertain and anxious about the relationship. When I sit down to really think about it, there were so many problems. Due to past experiences where I left the relationship too early instead of fighting for it, I now believe in fighting for the relationship with best efforts... but perhaps I let the pendulum swing too far the other way this time. The Break-Up. There were many other problems (see misc.), but the first three above were the primary deal-breakers. The break-up was the most belligerent and perhaps infantile that I've ever had. When I sent the "we need to talk"-esque message, R refused to meet in-person (even with double-masks, six feet apart), and so I eventually had to do it over the phone (which felt awful - like I was back in high school). While on the phone, she immediately claimed I was heartless for breaking up with her days after a friend of her younger brother's had died. I did know that there had been a death - her younger brother's friend and classmate - but intuitively in my conversations with her I was not aware that this had hit close to the home for the entire family. I asked for details in days past, and R actively told me that she did not think it was appropriate to share details with me, so we did not talk about it further and I did not pry. I had not honestly gotten the impression that this was more than a person the family had known / the brother's friend and were vaguely sad about. During that accusation of being heartless, she described the gory details to me about this decedent 13-year-old's tragic suicide and how the family was going to essentially have a grieving session that night - and impliedly I was sending a broken-up daughter back to that family. That made me feel horrible. Obviously, if a family member had passed away, I would not have ended the relationship for some time out of respect/care for R. My therapist said describing the gory details of a child's suicide and blaming me for being heartless after her previously withholding that information was manipulative. Still, I profusely apologized and felt terrible. In hindsight, I wonder if it was an exaggeration, but either way I wish that would have gone down differently. As the phone conversation went on, R accused me of being unfaithful/cheating, which wasn't true. She said also that I always messaged other women when she was over, which was not true (that would be rude - I don't do that and I'm not sure where she got that). She criticized me for my choice of friends and therapist. She further claimed I had bad timing for breaking up around my birthday/holidays. Ok, that one was probably true, seeing as we broke up on April Fools' Day. (ok so she has a point there). Anyway. Eventually the long conversation was over. We returned items a few weeks later. It was cold, but perhaps to be expected. A few weeks afterward, without using my name, she called me a narcissist and awful boyfriend on Facebook. That really hurt. My whole extended family saw it. She did not respond to me confronting her about it - she probably has me set to “ignore” on everything. At least the family was good-natured about it. My grandpa, jokingly: "well, we know you are a narcissist, but why is she posting about it!!" Thanks, Grandpa, lol. It has now been almost three months since the break-up. Admittedly, though I miss her and the relationship sometimes (and, those experiences hold a place in my heart: we had history spanning over two years), I think all signs before the break-up and especially afterward point to that I made the right decision. Moving Forward – Dates & Misc. It has been approximately three months since the break-up. I do not feel like I am clinging onto my past relationship: I had tossed and turned for months prior to breaking up. I do not feel heartbroken: I feel like I made the right decision. However, there is now an empty void where love and the satisfaction of being a good, faithful partner used to be. Dates So Far. I have not yet found a partner, but I've so far gone on dates with two different people. An attractive acquaintance and I had been having more conversations. She eventually asked me to go running with her at a local trail while she biked alongside. It was fun - she was nice, but she mentioned that she wanted kids and I didn't feel a major spark or connection. So, the conversations have mostly fizzled out. Recently, out of the blue, a love interest, call her K, asked me out to brunch. It sounded like a date and I assumed she and her boyfriend had broken up (not listed on Facebook, etc.). We've seemingly almost always had mutual interest in one another but have been single at different times (and I know previously she mentioned she might want to adopt but not have kids - bingo). We also competed in ballroom dance together and we are quite good. I like her quite a lot. I was excited for the date. I arrived. Not to be rude, but while I do and always have found her very attractive, it looked like she didn't put in any effort to get ready, while I definitely had. Shortly after arriving, she mentioned that she is still dating her boyfriend. Oof. The resulting conversations were… superficial? We talked about ostensibly deep topics, but it still felt superficial - maybe on account of me feeling guarded that she was still dating someone. She mentioned that her boyfriend and her fight a lot, so while I was puzzled why she asked me to brunch, maybe it was (1) just a friendly meet-up, (2) an ego-boost because her relationship isn't going well, or (3) a low-interest or testing the waters meet-up. I sent a polite “thanks for brunch – it was nice seeing you :)” text shortly after getting back home. She was evasive/non-responsive. Who knows what that was about - kind of confusing. It makes me think maybe she thought the conversation was superficial or forced, too. Whatever it was, I know I should not pursue her, because she is in a relationship. Still, that was a major let-down. FWB. I am in a non-public FWB with someone. We see each other occasionally – maybe once every two weeks. She is also in professional school. She's a great person, but at the moment we both only want to be friends and occasionally hook up because our sexual interests coincide. I would rather be in a relationship with someone, so it's just a meantime thing. Limits to Meeting New People & Dating Apps. Last, I want to meet people, but (1) the hopefully subsiding pandemic still limits available social events (esp. at my University (law school): speaking candidly, Zoom does not bring out my good side. I do not think I will make a connection over Zoom), and (2) dating apps, including this time around, seemingly just do not work for me. Though I feel I am charming in person, I just don't have that ~~~~pizzazz~~~~ that the men who get matches seem to have. So, if I can't get matches, I do not get dates. If I do not get dates, I do not get to be charming in person. Then I do not make that possible connection. Worries. I am especially concerned given the fact that at this time, I do not want to have biological children. I am worried that that severely narrows my potential dating pool by a lot. I would need to date someone with whom not only do I feel a connection or spark, but also one who is (1) undecided/open to children or (2) also does not want children. ____ I am not sure what I am looking for by posting this. I am lonely and worried about the future. Perhaps, all these topics are in the back of my mind. Maybe just shouting at the void was good for me, or maybe someone might have an insight or some words of encouragement. Thanks for reading. 🙂
  11. I’ve been crushing on my best friend for a year and a half… Ive talked to him about other guys and he’s told me about other girls… Hid last relationship was with a girl who used to be my friend, she turned out to be toxic and really bad for him… The other girl was one of the people I knew, and she turned out to be a slightly different breed of toxic. I don’t know if he’s just sweet in general, but dang he is… Stuff like “I went because you went” ”Your my best friend” ”Where did you go?” XD last few days we’ve been talking till two AM, some people may not find this strange but we have veryyyyy different sleeping schedules. His ex is going to the next dance, with another guy to make my best friend jealous and get him back. so he says he’s gonna get a date just to get off his back, but not someone he would date date. He brought up two girls and didn’t know who else so I suggested myself as a last resort…^^’ We had been responding to each other right after getting texts…five minutes goes by and I send “It’s just a suggestion dude xD” cause I got nervous and he responded right after “I might actually… 😂 like if no one else works” He’s been sweet…saying I looked good in dresses I wore to the last few dances… And his brother dropped “If you ever feel like something is going on…he trusts you a lot, you two are really close.” a few days ago…^^’ I don’t know, I guess I needed to vent?
  12. Hello, I have planned to text to my crush for the first time, since I am going to get his number but I am afraid of giving her a bad impression, I plan to tell her: Hi, I'm… we were at the same school and I always wanted to meet you And I don't know what else to add to her, at high school I always wanted to talk to her, but I always was nervous so I never spoke to her, now that I can get her number I'm afraid of giving her a bad impression. I would also like you to advise me what to answer if she asks me: Why do you want to meet me? How did you get my number? Among other hypothetical questions ... And well I'm definitely going to talk to her, I don't want to regret never having to spoken to her, she is a spectacular girl, since I saw her something attracted me to her and unfortunately I never spoke to her because I always scared of talk to her since I was an immature teenager but I have grown up and I want to take that step to meet her. And sorry English is not my mother language.
  13. After lots of problems in my life I am stepping forward slowly , I m gonna be 20 this year and gonna join the army next year hope for the best , my crush is also preparing for getting into medical field , any tips to grow and enjoy life a little 🌟
  14. Hello folks. I'll make this question short. There's a girl at my work whom I think I fancy, but have not really given a thought, as I don't really need a relationship at the moment ( or I may be wrong ). Some time ago I ordered a book and courier brought it to my work place. This girl is very outgoing and has fairly good personality. got interested in what kind of book I got and kept asking question regarding the book. By the end of our shift, she brings the book that she's been reading and gives me as a present. saying that she no longer has time to read it and assumed that I liked reading, hence gave the book as present. Since then, she's brought few books to me and I kindly accept her gifts. Now I want to make her a nice present as well, but don't want it be in a weird romantic way. I may be attracted to her but there's been absolutely no signs from me, that I may be interested. So my question is, if I get her some sort of jewelry, would it weird and raise some red flags? I just want to make her a pleasant gift that's it ( not in a quid pro quo way )
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